Tag: Liz

This diary entry is part 13 of 32 in Lily's diary dated 05 - November 2021

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!  Eight days to Orlando!!!!!!!

I shouldn’t have done that, I got through work today with some caffeine, but even though I’m young, I’d still rather be bright eyed and figuratively bushy tailed (I don’t have a tail) than sleepwalking through the day.  After I got home from work I took a nap.  I feel a little better now.  Still, I won’t do that again.  Oh, who am I kidding.  I absolutely would.  But I’ll try not to, anyway.

We had so much fun, last night!  Beth had the bright idea to play “truth or dare”, and we all agreed.  I learned a lot more about Liz than I wanted!  I lucked out though!  I have no memories!  So I’d always choose “truth”, and then they’d ask me a question, and I’d say “I don’t know”, and it’s the truth!  Ever kissed a boy?  I don’t know!  Most embarrassing moment?  Musta been that talk Sabby gave us!  Both Beth and Liz ended up forcing a rule change that any “I don’t know” from me gets turned into a dare.  At that point it devolved into making me do silly dances and other silly stuff.  I drew the line when Beth wanted to make me do something truly embarrassing.  I don’t even have that kind of underwear!!!  And even if I did, I’m not walking down the street in it!  Thankfully, Liz took my side on that one, and told her that if she kept that up, She’d have that dare next time Liz got to ask her.  She gulped and took it back.  I just had to shout “I’m a teapot” instead, and that woke up a ticked off Sabby.  At that point it was lights out.  Fine by me, I was tired anyway.  We ended up in a big ol’ snoring girl pile.

Beth and I are gonna have to have a little talk, I think, though.  That kind of crossed the line.  Liz isn’t holding it against her, but I could see on Liz’s face.  That was a bit too much like the old Beth.  We really need to have a conversation.

After I took my nap, Dave told me he was going to teach me how to change the oil and tires in my car.  Probably past time anyway.  So he grabbed Beth and David too, and we trudged out.  Dave already had the car in the driveway.  He showed me how to lift it up (that’s a neat little machine!), remove the drain plug, change the filter, put the drain plug back, and pour in more oil.  Easy!  Changing a tire is also easy – just have to remember to loosen the little nuts before lifting the car, and tighten them again before rolling off.  I have nearly enough money in my account to pay for driving lessons!  Yay!  But we’ll do that after I get back from Orlando.

Tires are heavy!  But cars are heavier!  Still, good to know.  He also had Beth and David change a tire for good measure.  David had a bit of trouble because of how heavy the tires were, but it’s more important that he know than to be able to do it well for right now.

Afterwards, we had a nice dinner.  I love spaghetti, even though it’s sooo messy!  It tastes soooo good!  Especially with mushrooms and lots of parmesan.  Sabby can really cook!  She made garlic bread too!  OMG that’s soo good!

After dinner, Dave took me aside for a little talk.  It was kind of similar to the one Sabby gave me, but it was from a man’s point of view.  I won’t go into details because this isn’t a PG post, but it was good to know.  Men are more complicated than they look!  It’s a little awkward, but I’m glad they’re telling me all of this.  It’s better to know it when you need it.

Anyway, no staying up tonight.  I have to work tomorrow!  Then next weekend I go to Orlando!  SQUEEEEEE!!!!

Love you all!!!! ❤️

This diary entry is part 8 of 32 in Lily's diary dated 05 - November 2021

 Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

So yesterday, Dave did grill.  I think I was right – he grills as a way to work things out sometimes.  He’s a very emotional man, but he’s not really all that good at expressing it.  I guess a lot of men are like that.  He’s not mean about it or anything, but you can tell when he’s upset.  He’ll rarely tell you why, though.  It’s not so much that he’s private, it’s just that he’s… reserved, I guess.  So he went outside with some meat and grilled up a storm.  I gotta admit, I LOVE it when Dave grills.  He’s just so good at it!  It’s not quite as good as chocolate, but it’s almost as good, and that’s really a compliment!!!  It really does taste like summer or fall or whatever, just soooooo good.

Sabby thinks so too, I think.  When Dave gets in a grilling mood, she makes potato salad and other fixins and we have a bit of a feast, and there’s always some left over for lunch too.  It’s not the most cost effective thing, I suppose, but it works out.  At least so far, if you shop wisely, meat isn’t so bad.

This evening, Liz is staying over, but her parents came to visit too.  This time they brought food for all of us.  Liz’s mother is such a good cook!  It’s just, she cooks things a little differently.  Sabby likes pasta and rich sauces, and they like veggies and light sauces and rice.  It’s still really good, though.  Even David cleaned his plate.  For dessert we had chocolate, though.  Neither Sabby nor I are willing to give that up for a cultural exchange.  Hah!

Afterwards, we all talked for a while.  I told them how excited I was to go to Orlando (in nine days!  SQUEEEEEE OMG OMG) and they seemed a bit uncomfortable with the thanks.  The thing is, they’ve been a little concerned about Liz too.  Even though they’ve pushed her hard to excel academically, she hasn’t had many friends, and they did notice.  Now that she has me as a friend and “other family” that obviously cares about her, they want to encourage that.  They acknowledge that maybe it’s a little overkill, but I’m not going to complain!  They are just happy to do it.  Honestly, they say, it’s not all that much more of an expense (they’d have to pay for the rooms and most of the flights anyway) and they’re just happy to see Liz have a friend.  We’re not just going to Disney World too!  There are other fun places!

I’d be a friend even without!

Liz could come over before, but she just doesn’t seem as… guilty… about it.  Her parents still expect her to succeed, but they don’t want to drive her to hate them in the process.  Even Liz thinks that’s fair.  She does like doing schoolwork and music and stuff.  She just doesn’t want that to be the only reason her parents love her.

We watched a movie, but it wasn’t really an interesting movie.  I don’t even remember what it was called.  Afterwards, Liz’s parents said their goodbyes and went back to their house, but Liz got into her pajamas, she’s going to sleep over!  We’re going to stay up way too late and talk and play games and eat chocolate, and Beth’s even invited!  It’ll be fun!  So I should go do that.  Girl time is fun!

Love you all!!!!  Tomorrow is Saturday!  So I can’t stay up TOO late because I have to work.  But I’m young and caffeine is a thing, so…  on to the fun!  Liz is yelling that the game is set up and Beth just made popcorn!!!  ❤️

This diary entry is part 12 of 32 in Lily's diary dated 05 - November 2021

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!  It’s Veteran’s Day, so we get school off today!  Yay!  I thought I’d write a bit early today, I just went for my run, and I’m all smelly and sweaty, but you can’t see or smell!  To you I smell like flowers and am sitting here in a formal gown with my hair all nicely done up!  But I’m not!

I bet I’d look so cute in a formal gown.  I should try one on someday.

Anyway, I’m doing a lot better today.  You might have wondered where Beth was in all of that.  Well, she was concerned, and I explained it to her the best I could.  She hugged me and asked if there was anything she could do, and I just said “be Beth”.  Honestly, though, I leaned a lot more on Sabby and Liz.  I didn’t want to put all of that on Beth, she has enough going on.  Sometimes you have to choose, not because you don’t want to share, but because you don’t want to relive it over and over with different people.  She seemed to understand.

I hope someday I find the answers I’m looking for, but I have to accept the possibility that I never will.  And if I don’t, well, life is okay.  I don’t know who I was, but I know who I am, and that’s a Smith.  I’ll never not be a Smith.  Maybe I’ll just add another name to that.  I think it’s most important to me, of all things, to just know if they loved me.  If I know that they did, if they’re alive, or dead, then that’s most important.  I just want to know I was loved.

Anyway, today’s Veteran’s Day.  It seems impactful to Dave for some reason, but I’m not sure why.  He’s never told me whether he was in the military or not, and I never asked.  I still don’t really know, I figure it’s not my business.  But for young folks like me, it’s a day off .  For him, it seems to be something different, not a happy occasion.  I asked last year on Veteran’s day why he seemed so contemplative.  He thought for a little bit, and then said, “I know a lot of people who served, Lily.  They were… never quite the same afterwards.  War is hell.  Respect that they cared enough to go through that, but never forget that war is hell.”

And that’s all he’d say.

Maybe that was enough.

It’s funny how he seemed a little less bothered by Memorial Day.  Maybe it’s because he’s more personally affected by those who lived through it.  I don’t know.  Dave is a good guy, but he’s hard to talk to sometimes.  Maybe he’ll work out some of his feelings with grilling.  It’s a win/win for everyone!

Ten days to Disney World!!!!  Oh I’m soooo excited!  But I’ve already said what I’m so excited about, so I guess I’ll just say I’m excited!  I still don’t know what Beth and Sabby are going to do, but Beth is really excited too!!!

Love you all!!!  And to all the Veterans out there…  I don’t know what it’s like.  I don’t understand any of it.  But thanks for caring enough to go through all of that. I’m sure for most of you your heart was in the right place.  ❤️

This diary entry is part 11 of 32 in Lily's diary dated 05 - November 2021

Hi!  It’s me!  LIly!

I don’t know what happened the past couple of days.  I really don’t.  I was just humming along, looking forward to going to Disney World, and bam.  One song and everything falls apart.  I wasn’t expecting that, either.  It’s just like everything hit at once and I had nothing to do but to ride it out.

I didn’t mention what I spent the rest of the day doing, yesterday.  I think I spent it grieving.  I don’t know if that’s the right word, but I think it fits.  I cried, and I laughed, and I thought about all of the things my “real” parents and I might do.  Liz came over a little later, she actually reads my site too!  I wonder about this site – I share so much about myself, but people seem to love it!  They… they seem to love me.  What did I do to deserve it?  Is that karma?  Did I gain a family and friends that love me, at the cost of everything I previously was?  Was that worth the price?

That’s a real question.  The answer might even be yes.

Anyway, Liz and I talked.  We talked, and we talked.  She really does care.  She doesn’t know what to say or do half the time, and she has her own demons, but she hugged me and we talked some more, and I started to feel a lot better towards the end of the night.  I don’t know who I was.  I don’t know who my “real” parents are, I don’t know if I had friends, I don’t know even how I got that little scar on the webbing between my right pinky and ring finger.  But I do know who my family is now, and who my friends are now, and…  and it doesn’t take away the fact that I love them, I love all of them, and they love me.

Maybe I’ll grieve again someday.  I told Liz that Disney World might be difficult for me in some ways, to watch all of the children running around having fun with their parents.  She told me she understood.  That maybe I can’t have it back, but I can make new memories, and she wants to make them with me.  And so do her parents.  That’s enough.  That’s plenty.

And I have all of my Internet friends, too.  The people who read this, and laugh with me, and cry with me, and log in the next day and the day after to see what else went on in my life, with my story, and that’s good too.  Friends all over the world who love me as well.  Who else can say that?  And all I have to do is be me.  So many other personalities, on YouTube, on TikTok, all those places, who try to be someone else and pretend to have a perfect life and hide all of their problems, but you know my life and my family and my problems, and you love me anyway.  What more could a girl want?  To know her real parents, maybe, of course, but at least I’m loved.  What else is there, really?

11 days to Disney World!  YAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love you all!  Really!  Really truly!  Love Dave, and Sabby, and Beth, and even David, and Liz, and Allison, and Liz’s parents, and all the people who have come together to make my story what it is.  And my real parents, and my real siblings, if I have any, my previous friends who I don’t remember but am sure I loved, the cat, everyone!  Love each and every one of you!  Because you make me who I am!  And maybe someday I’ll find out more!  Who else can say that someday they might have twice the family to love them???

Maybe not.  But a girl can hope.

Love you all!!! ❤️

This diary entry is part 7 of 32 in Lily's diary dated 05 - November 2021

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!  The one and only!

14 days to go to Disney World!  I’m soooo excited!  So much!  I can’t believe how much I’m looking forward to it!  Roller coasters!  Lots of sugary stuff!  Chocolate that looks like mouse ears!  Liz!  Who knows what else!  It’s so much fun!  Sabby is still fussing over me a little, she’s made a list and checked it twice and is telling me not to be naughty, but nice!  I’m always nice!  I’m a good girl!  Except when I prank Dave!  Muahahaha!

But she worries anyway.  I guess I don’t blame her.  Momma Bear gonna mom.

You might wonder why I don’t call her “mom” and Dave “dad”.  Well, there’s a simple reason for that.  I love that they’ve taken me into their family, and they treat me as much like a daughter as I have any right to expect.  More, even.  And I love them, more than I’ve ever been able to express.  But they’re not my “real” parents.  I have a mom and a dad out there somewhere, though I don’t know who they are.  Are they alive?  Are they dead? Did they abandon me?  Did they want me?  I don’t know.  I wish I knew.

Maybe someday I will meet my real mom and dad and they will have had a good reason for having left me by the side of the road.  Maybe they were in the hospital, or dead, and whatever hurt or killed them is the same thing that caused me to lose my memory.  Maybe they loved me as much as Dave and Sabby, and we’ll meet and hug and I’ll have two more parents.  And if that someday happens, it kind of cheapens it to have two moms and two dads, don’t you think?

Or maybe they just abandoned me, or didn’t want me, and erased all traces of themselves just so they’d want nothing more to do with me.  I hope not, but it’s possible.  And if that happens, then, well, Sabby and Dave become mom and dad, and to hell with my real parents.  I hope it’s not the case.  I hope with everything I am that they do love me.

Sabby was an orphan too.  She understands.  She knows what it’s like to not know your real parents, and that it leaves a hole in your heart that others can’t live in.  She gets it.  That’s why she never pressures me.  She knows she’s Sabby, and Dave is Dave, and that doesn’t mean I love them any less.  I always, always will, even if I find my real parents and they love me too.  Always.

I don’t like to think about it.  I like to be a happy Lily, going to the park and twirling around with my new haircut.  I like to be bubbly and cheerful and happy and fun to be around, and I like to make new memories with the people who care about me now.  But sometimes I do lie awake in bed and wonder.  Who are they?  Who am I?  Why did they hurt me like this?  What did I do to deserve it?  Why don’t I know and why is no one telling me?  But then I look around my room at all the nice things Dave and Sabby have given me, even though they didn’t have to.  And I’ll cry.  Both at the loss, but at what I’ve found too.  Maybe losing my memory and my parents is the best thing to ever happen to me.

And that hurts just as much.

I had to work today, but the rest of the family went to watch Allison play a baseball game.  I’ve never been to a baseball game.  Is it fun?  They went to the park and Allison really whacked that ball!  It went flying and she ran and ran.  She was soooo happy!  After the game Sabby dragged David over to Allison and made him apologize to her.  She was so happy at whacking the ball that she forgave him.  I don’t think there’ll be any cute kid crushes in the near, far, distant future, or ever, but at least she doesn’t give him the stink eye anymore.  That’s something.

Then they all went to a chain restaurant and had dinner.  I was still working, but that was okay.  I still had leftover grilled meat I could put in the microwave and it’s just as good the second time around!

So we start another week.  More school…. oh!  I forgot!  Remember that $20 bill that Sabby keeps trying to give me back?  Well, somehow she got hold of my bank account info, and guess what I found in my account?  Point to Sabby.  Why is it that they’re so much better at these kinds of things?  Dave got me so good with that cayenne pepper, and Sabby is just a force of nature, I can’t keep up!  I’m not sure I want to try anymore.  Not to say I won’t jump (hah) at the chance to get Dave back if it comes up, but maybe I should just admit defeat.  Maybe next time he’ll put chocolate in a little cage, light a blowtorch, and tell me to back off or the chocolate gets it.  I wouldn’t put it past him.

I love chocolate too much.  No, I don’t.  No such thing.  I’d marry it but I don’t want kids that melt in the bathtub.  Hahaha.  Guess it’s a boy for me.  Someday.  But he’d better not get between me and my chocolate!  He can have hobbies, and prank me, and joke with me, and be a silly billy all he wants.  But he touches that chocolate and it’s the doghouse for him!  Hahah!!!

I’m only somewhat kidding.  Poor guy.

I’ve been thinking about boys.  I still feel like I’m not ready for a boyfriend or anything.  But…  there’s this emptiness inside me I can’t explain.  It’s like there’s a piece of me that’s missing and only someone who loves me that way will ever fill it.  Will someone kiss me someday?  What will it be like?  Will it be fun?  I don’t know.  Maybe someday I’ll find out.  I hope at least the first time it’s all sweet and romantic.

I should go!  Beth needs her hair brushed!  Love you all!!! ❤️

This diary entry is part 5 of 32 in Lily's diary dated 05 - November 2021

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

OMG IT’S FRIDAY!!!  It’s been so nice outside!  Cool and sunny and… and… SQUEEEEEE!!!! Such nice runs in the morning!!!

I love Fridays because everyone’s happy on Friday!  It’s even better than Saturday because it’s anticipation that makes things better!  Speaking of which, 16 days to Disney World!  OMG OMG I CAN’T WAIT!!!! SQUEEEEEEE!!!!

Liz is so happy too, she’s been to Disney World before but never with a friend!  She wants to show me all the sights and smells and attractions… and ROLLER COASTERS!!!  OMG!!!!!!  I want to ride a roller coaster!  Or two!  Or three!!!!!  And eat junk food like elephant ears, ice cream, and cotton candy!  I better bring a heavy-duty toothbrush!!

I’m bouncing around!!!

My tablet arrived today!  OMG it’s soooooo cool!  I can doot doot on it like the cash registers at work, but I doot doot my stuff instead of prices for customers!  I downloaded a bunch of cool apps!  There are even games!  But Sabby told me I shouldn’t spend all my time with them.  Awwww!  Candy Crush is soooooo great!!!

But it’s so convenient too!!!

We’re going to watch a movie soon!  I don’t know what we’re going to watch.  I hope it’s good!!  Liz is coming over too to watch with us!  Her parents seem to be relaxing a little – she still has to do her classes and stuffs but she can come over and eat and watch movies with us!  It’s soo nice!! Liz is so nice to spend time with, and she seems to be relaxing a little too!  I’m glad for that!

Anyway, I have things to do before the movie!!  Love you all!!! ❤️

This diary entry is part 8 of 11 in Lily's diary dated 01 - July 2021

Hi everyone!  It’s me, Lily!

First of all, my tech guy did some maintenance last night.  It’s all really complicated and I didn’t understand any of it, but I guess there were some bugs that made it so that bullies can attack me!   That sucks!  I don’t know many bullies, but I don’t want them to attack me!  So he pushed some buttons and tweaked some knobs and spat on something, and it’s all working again.  I hope!  But if you have problems, well, we’ll get it fixed!

He says this will make things faster too, and I hope so!  I mean it was fast already, but I like even faster!  I don’t know how much he’s spending on this but he assures me not much.  I hope not.  He’s so nice to set this up for me.

Can you believe I’ve been posting here for a week?  It’s amazing, isn’t it?  So much has happened!  And so much hasn’t happened, too!  I really loved the Lily Day!  Did I tell you that?  I don’t remember.  Haha!  I loved it!  It was so great!  And I got to share it with you all!

I got my computer all set up, and maybe soon I can try out a stream or video.  I don’t know how all this works.  I see streamers online who like to play games, that kind of thing.  There’s even one dog-girl!  She’s cute but I don’t understand it.  But it seems like a fun thing to try.  I’m good at sudokus, maybe I’ll do a sudoku!  Even if I mess it up, it’ll be funny!  I think I’m smart, but computers are so hard!

Maybe my tech guy will teach me some tricks.

Oh, did I tell you?  At the waterpark, Liz fell in the water!  I know it’s a waterpark and you’re supposed to get wet, but that was funny!  We were posing for a picture, Sabby was just clicking the button, and she slipped.  Her foot went up in the air, her arms whirled around, and she just went in!  It was so funny!  She was embarrassed, but then she grabbed my leg and I went in too!  We had so much fun that day!  Sabby was clutching her tummy, she was laughing so hard!

Anyway, it was a boring day yesterday, too.  I went to see the social workers.  They didn’t have anything new to tell me, but they were very happy that Sabby wants to adopt me!  They recommended a good lawyer, and we’re going to call him soon.  I hope they can do that, I would be so happy to be an officially official part of the family!  Sabby assures me that I already am, though.  I feel it!  I feel like part of the family!  We don’t fight much, though.  They don’t ask unreasonable things of me, and I’m just grateful for them.  I feel bad when I’m in a bad or grumpy mood though.  It happens!

I use so many exclamation points!  People call me bubbly.  I don’t think I am.  I’m just a happy, lucky girl!  Even though I don’t have my memory.  Maybe because I don’t have my memory!  I think some people are weighed down by their memories, their memories hurt them, their memories trap them.  But I don’t have that problem!  I can be happy and not worry!  But I do wish I knew what my name was.  That’s all I really want from my memories.  My name, and a birthday.

I just got back from a run with Liz.  It’s so hot out right now.  I guess that’s summer here.  It’s been very wet, though, and this summer probably won’t last too long.  Before we know it, we’ll get another freak ice storm and the power will go out!  Dave and Sabby assure me that that’s historically unusual here.  But I don’t know.  It was my first winter.

I sure picked an awful time to show up, didn’t I?

Oh well.  Today’s another boring day.  Maybe I’ll practice streaming.

Love you all!!! ❤️. Oh, and here’s a chocolate one too!  🤎 I love chocolate!  Chomp chomp!

This diary entry is part 3 of 11 in Lily's diary dated 01 - July 2021

Hi again!  It’s me!

Oh my God, yesterday was so much fun!!!  Liz and I went to a local museum, and afterwards we went to a burger place and had a burger and shake!  Normally I don’t get to eat out much, It’s very important to Sabby that we eat at home, but every now and then I’m allowed a treat.  I love chocolate!  It’s my favorite thing!  It’s like if you were to take sunshine and rainbows and skittle and kittens and mix them all up into a glass of chocolatey goodness!  OH MY GOD it’s so good!  But it’s not healthy to eat too much of that kind of food.  So it’s a treat.

Liz doesn’t really like chocolate, can you believe it??  She was raised on Chinese food (she’s very vocal that Chinese food is not “kung pao chicken”, but heavy on rice and veggies).  But every now and then she does enjoy a nice burger.  Where we live, there are lots of burger places.  She just has a plain vanilla shake.  I love her anyway.

Every Friday night Dave likes to have a movie night, where he watches movies that I haven’t seen before with the family.  Or at least I don’t remember seeing before.  He likes silly comedies, like “Airplane!” or “Blazing Saddles!”.  Everyone was laughing so hard at Blazing Saddles, but I didn’t see what was so funny.  That poor Sheriff!  And why did they end up in modern Hollywood?  The ending made no sense!  But Airplane! was funny.  Dave says that they don’t make movies like those anymore.  I don’t know if he’s right, but I hope they don’t make another like Blazing Saddles!

But just because Dave’s choice in movies is suspect doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy.  He is very family oriented.  It’s important to him and Sabby that we do things as a family, and they see me as a part of their family.  So we’ll watch a movie tonight.  Dave tells me it’s by a guy called “Monty”… ummm… Viper?  Rattlesnake?  I don’t remember.  But maybe it’ll be funny.  I know I didn’t think Blazing Saddles was funny, but I do like funny things!  Honest!  I just didn’t understand the jokes, I guess.  Sabby makes popcorn on movie nights, and some yummy things to drink, so even if the movie’s not all that great, I love just spending time with everyone.

Oh, while we were at the museum, a boy was checking Liz out!  She was so embarrassed!  She doesn’t know what to do with boys, they are almost as confusing to her as they are to me.  He even told her she was pretty, and he was really shy about it.  She said thank you and giggled like a maniac!  The boy looked disappointed for some reason, I don’t know why.  She is pretty though!  I don’t know what I would do if a boy were to do that to me!  I don’t want a boyfriend.  How can I give a boy all of me when I don’t even know what all of me is?

I want my memory back.

But if I got my memory back, what would happen?  I would remember my real parents and my real family, and would they be as nice as Dave and Sabby are?  I don’t know.  I want it back, more than anything else in the world, but it would hurt my family now.  I love them.  They are so kind to me.

Look at me, wiping tears from my face while I write.  I’m such a… girl!

Anyway, I need to shower.  Today I don’t have any real plans.  Maybe I’ll do some chores and go to the library.  Love you all!!!  ❤️

This diary entry is part 2 of 11 in Lily's diary dated 01 - July 2021

Hi!  It’s me again!  I’m Lily!

I just got back from a run with Liz.  Running is not my favorite thing in the world, but my foster parents think it will be good for me, and I do feel better after.  And it’s fun to run with Liz.

Liz is Chinese.  That’s not her given name.  I’ve tried to pronounce it a couple of times and gave up, and she likes to be called Liz anyway.  She has long, black hair, is shorter than me, and has a very pretty face.  I think she is prettier than me.  My hair is not as long as hers, and my face is too round.  But she thinks I am prettier than she is, so maybe we both are hard on ourselves?  I could have long hair, but I keep it short because long hair is harder to keep pretty.  Boys seem to look at both of us, so maybe they think we are prettier than we do.  Or, maybe they’re just boys and think almost anything is pretty.  I don’t understand boys.  But they don’t understand us either.

My foster parents are not strict like Liz’s parents are.  Her parents are always sending her to classes and school to make sure she gets good grades.  She loves her parents and they love her, but it seems hard for her sometimes.  I hate to see her cry.

My foster parents only have a few rules for me.  I can’t be out past ten PM without their permission, which is fine with me.  I have to eat what they put on the table and eat dinner with them, which is also fine with me.  I’m grateful to have food, and Sabby is a pretty good cook.  And I have to go to church on Sundays. I don’t mind this either.  All they ask is that I go.  I can read a book or listen to music on my headphones or do whatever I want as long as it’s not disruptive.  I don’t understand most of what they teach anyway.  God is confusing to me.  They tell me He loves me, and I am well taken care of, but I lost my memory.  How can He love me if I’ve lost everything that makes me who I am?  And I have to keep my room clean and do a few chores.  Other than that, as long as I keep busy and find something useful to do, they let me do what I want.  Today I’m going to go to a museum with Liz and we will eat after.  It sounds so much fun!

I have to shower now.  Running makes me smelly.  Love you all!!!  ❤️