Category: Diary

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Well, I learned something.  Travelling halfway across the world is difficult.  Not because of the travel time, that’s not an issue now… but because of the time difference.

I went over to spend some time with Miki today, after her work.  It was like 4 AM for me.  We had fun and everything, but by the time I got home it was like 10 AM, and I was really tired.  I just took a nap.

Sabby wasn’t too happy.  I explained what happened, and she said she understood, but it’s still a weekday and it won’t do for my sleep schedule to get out of whack –  I still live in the US and my circadian rhythm is important.

Sigh.  She’s right.  She’s always right.

Maybe we can compromise on the weekends.  Evening for me is morning for her, so… well, we’ll see.  She’s an idol so she is busy.

You know, if you’d told me about this before, I might have thought it’s the best thing ever, but it’s really kind of a mendokusai.  I guess humans are really meant to just, well… kinda stay in one place.

I asked Mrs. X today what about popping around when flying (she finally gave me her cell number and told me to only use it to find out when she has some free time so I can pop over to see her or vice versa).  She said it’s possible but not pleasant.  I told her what I was told, and she said she suspected that to be the case.  A speed difference of 450 mph in unpredictable directions on top of everything else kinda bogs down whatever is doing all those calculations, and it, well, takes steps to reduce its load.  Like, apparently, plopping you in the sky, unaided, for a few seconds while the atmopheric drag lets your speed equalize and it can do the next calculation.  It can slow you down a little but that inertia takes a bit to bleed off it seems.  Apparently ATC does NOT like a transponderless bogey flitting through the sky on a ballistic trajectory, and neither do pilots.  Apparently we’re the cause of a few UFO reports.  It’s still safe because it knows what the weather is and where the planes are, so it won’t drop you in the middle of a storm, but she says it’s like the worst amusement park ride times a hundred.

She was telling me about the time she almost got intercepted by an F-16…  the pilots were so confused when she just vanished.

Note to self… that’s only for emergencies.  She agrees with that statement.

Yeah, the Boss is right.  Don’t mess with that.  It can be a bit unpredictable.

I call him the Boss because he’s the Boss and what else can I call him?

So… in more mundane stuff…  I’m going to college.  In Japan.  It’s all settled.  I’ve got a dorm and everything.  Well… it’s not really a dorm.  I’m going to be saving lots of money on flights, so I’m going to spend that instead on a decent (by Tokyo standards) apartment near campus.  I haven’t chosen my major yet, but I’ve got a little time before I need to register, so, well, I guess I’ll get it figure out.  As you can imagine, I’ve been a little preoccupied.

Just a little…

I could theoretically leave at any time, but…  I’m going to wait till the end of August.  That’s what I was going to do anyway, so why change my plans?

I asked Mrs. X if I could use my “skills” to supplement my income through arbitrage.  You know, buying goods in the US and selling them in Japan, or vice versa.  She, well.. frowned.

I guess I can.  But it’s a bit frowned on.  Especially if that’s all I use it for.  The Boss doesn’t mind if we have a little fun with it or use it for gain in a pinch, but we’re supposed to use it to further his goals… whatever those are.  So if that’s what I’m spending most of my time doing, well, I might get a scolding.  And keeping track of the import duties (which I would still owe) can be a pain.  Aww.

I don’t really want a scolding….  again…

Okay…  I’m still a little off… Sabby’s right about the time difference, so…  I’m going to bed now.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

And I had my first scolding today.

That’s not really fun.

You know how Beth has a scientific mind?  She got it into her mind that she wanted to test what I could do with my newfound ability.  I didn’t see anything particularly wrong with that, so we went to a quiet place, and she had a list of things she wanted to test.  Like, she wanted to test whether I could change elevation, or fly, or whatever.

So the first test was to just pop one foot off the ground, in the same location I was.  We even set up some pillows, and gave it a try.

Well, nothing happened.  At least, I didn’t pop.  Instead a voice came out of the air, a quiet voice.

“Don’t push it, Lily.  There’s a lot that goes into the calculations to make this happen.  Gravitational distribution anomalies, differences in the relative speed of the earth in different latitudes, elevation differences, weather… it may be a very quick form of transport, but it’s not instantaneous, and if any one of those calculations go south you’ll be a splat on the side of Mount Everest.  It’s a safe form of transport if you use it properly.  Don’t be trying to push the limits.”

I nodded… I felt really abashed.  I didn’t think of what went into that kind of thing.  I just thought that I thought about something and went there.  I didn’t think about the fact that it still had to follow the laws of physics, even if it used laws no one knew about.

And then the voice talked to Beth.

“Beth, I know about you.  You are a very logical and scientific minded young woman.  There’s nothing wrong with that.  But don’t forget that just because you can doesn’t mean you should.  Remember how Lily got this ability in the first place – her parents were playing with things they didn’t understand and endangered themselves and her.  They’re dead now.  Maybe Lily would be very different now if they’d actually followed scientific protocols and didn’t have a fourteen year old girl in the room with them while they were trying things that they should never have tried.  Remember this, Beth.”

And then the voice addressed me again.

“Don’t be afraid of it, Lily.  I would never give you an ability that could hurt you if you use it properly.  Just use it to go from one place to another.  You can use it to go any place in the world that you’re allowed to by treaty or my dispensation at any time.  Don’t try to skydive, or go to space, or go underground, or do anything stupid like that.  It probably won’t work…  but it’s not guaranteed not to, and you could hurt yourself very easily.  Trust me.  Don’t try to do things I never asked you do to.”

And the voice was quiet.

I looked at Beth.  She looked embarrassed.  We were quiet for a bit.

“I’ve… never been scolded by God before,” she said, shaking a little.

“I have,” I said.  “it’s not fun.  But…  he’s right.  Even if he wasn’t God, he’d be right.  Neither of us understand how this works.  He does.  Maybe we could understand more if we experimented, but that might kill one or both of us”.  I sighed.  “Just leave it be.”

She just looked at me with a calculating look.  “You know, the experiment was a success, right?”

“Huh?”, I said, eruditely.  I imagine I sounded like Kumiko.

“Well, we know more than we did, right?  We know that it follows the laws of physics, we know there’s a lot of calculations involved, we know there are failsafes, and he told me some things about how it works.  Maybe I shouldn’t experiment with people… but maybe I can experiment with a potato or something, someday.”

“You have a issue with that?”, I said to the air.  Nothing.  But inside my head, I heard “No, but at least she’ll be careful now.  I wasn’t kidding.  What she was trying to do was dangerous.  If she tries something like that again, smack her upside the head and tell her it’s from God.  And your totem is OFF LIMITS.”  There was a pause.  “And tell her I didn’t tell her anything I didn’t want her to know.”

I giggled.

“What?”, she said.

“You might find out,” I said, giggling some more.  “He doesn’t have an issue if you don’t experiment on people, including yourself, and stay in your lane.  And he says he didn’t tell you anything he didn’t want you to know.  So it sounds like he’s alright with you trying to learn how it works as long as you’re not an idiot about it.  Stay here for a couple of minutes.”  And I popped out to get some shaved ice.

Beth really likes shaved ice  Especially coconut flavored.  You know how in an anime where they eat something delicious and squeak?  She does that.

Anyway…  I think she just found her life’s work.  I’m okay with that.  Learning how teleportation works would be good.  But I suspect she’s going to have to do it on her own.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

So…  I told Emiko today.

I know where Emiko lives, so I popped over to some out of the way place near her house and visited.

She didn’t react how I expected her to.

I told her.  She just looked at me.  Then she burst out crying.

“Why are you crying?”, I asked.

“I…  if I hadn’t done what I did, you wouldn’t have…”

She was right.  That’s objectively true.

But…  but I’m not angry anymore.  I haven’t been for a long time.

I just hugged her and let her cry it out.  And I told her I wasn’t angry anymore.

“Even though I was the one that… let those horrible people adopt you?”

I nodded.  “Even though.”

“I don’t deserve you,” she said softly.

“No, you don’t,” I said.  “But no one really deserves good things, do we?  But we have them, anyway.  You want any treats from Japan?”

I got her some daifuku and some bubble tea.

Anyway…  that was a little draining.  I asked her not to tell Aika and Mika.  I’m not that close to them, and besides, they’re a bit young to understand what all’s going on, and might blab.  You know how girls that age are, anything to be popular…

Though Sabby would say the same thing about me.

And maybe she’s right.

Maybe she’s right, after all.  Though, clearly, this doesn’t count.

Jack and I went on a date tonight.  We did it the old fashioned way.  He took me somewhere for dinner.  We talked about a lot of things.  I mentioned that I can come visit him whenever I want, and he said he’d like that, but maybe it’s best that we not semi-live together like a married couple.

Smart boy, I mean, man… I actually agree.  Just because we can, doesn’t mean we should.  I’m staying in housing in Japan unless there’s an emergency.  But there’s nothing stopping us from going out on dates or whatever.  It just means it’ll be morning for me, I guess.

Anyway…  so far so good.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

I didn’t post yesterday, because I’ve been thinking a lot.  Everyone’s fine, everyone I’ve told has been basically “You’re Lily, how could we have expected any different?”  I don’t know how to feel about that but I guess I shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth.

But I’ve been thinking a lot.  Remember all those “lasts” I was telling you about?  Last this, last that… well, a lot of that has gone away.  There aren’t nearly as many lasts as there were.

And I’m still going to live in Japan come September.

I mean, with this passport, I could anyway, but that’s not important.  I’m still going to live in Japan.

I’ve come to realize that the lasts are important.

Because without lasts you can’t have firsts.

I’m going to live in Japan, and even though I can travel back and forth to the US at will, with some exceptions, I’m not going to.

(Those some exceptions involve holidays, emergencies, and Jack. And maybe the occasional food run).

I was dreading the lasts.  They were depressing me, they were hurting me, but somehow they were important too.  Now I can let everything be the way it was, I don’t have to choose, and that is a different kind of hurt.  Maybe I don’t have to grow up…  but I do.  It’s important.  It’s important that I go to college and meet people and do all the college things…  and not behaving like some kind of around-the-world commuter.

I told Sabby my feelings.  She understood.  She was sad, but she understood.

Today was Father’s Day.  I didn’t know what to do for Dave.  He’s difficult to buy things for, and I don’t really like buying things for people anyway, it just feels like buying them off in a way.  And I can’t take him anywhere… so even with everything, it was just as difficult.  Eventually I just gave up and found some silly six-in-one shaving gadget with built in DVD player or something in Akihabara, and he actually really liked it.  Sigh.  I still feel like I cheated, though.

David came back yesterday, too.  But I’ll tell you about that some other time.  He’s pouting because he (and his girlfriend, she’s not innocent) were constantly supervised.  Kid deserved it.  Last year they were caught sucking face.  At eleven.  He couldn’t even go to the bathroom without someone standing outside the door, with an ear out for any, ummm… sounds.  Poor kid, but not.  He deserved it.

Oh yeah, I went to church today, too.  I told the pastor.  I did not tell anyone else.  I won’t, either.  He’s…. I don’t know what he’s thinking, but I have a feeling he would have kicked me out if he hadn’t already met the Boss…  I think he remembered when I was told I have my own calling.  I didn’t even know what it was at the time.  I kinda still don’t.

Anyway…  I’m still not feeling great.  I’m pretty down.  But at least I haven’t lost anyone, so there’s that.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Well..  I went and talked to Miki.

She was, umm… quite surprised.

She didn’t seem upset, though.

It’s funny.  All the girls see me as a “walking shrine” or something similar, so this doesn’t seem to faze them.  I’m just unusual, and they just see this as another Lily thing.  They’re more surprised than anything, but not really surprised.  It’s like they were expecting something like this, just didn’t know exactly what.

So Miki doesn’t really care.

I mean she kinda does, but she just said “so does this mean you’ll visit more often?”, and then we went for ramen.  She told me about all the stuff the after-school friends light music club is up to, but honestly, I was only partly paying attention.  But we hugged after and she said that now I have no excuse not to visit so I’d better.

I asked how I’d explain it to her group… she said “well, just give a day’s notice before seeing all of us and it’ll be fine.”  She’s probably right.  I can hop on a train to the airport and leave from some isolated station somewhere…  I hate having to be so sneaky but I can’t tell everyone.  It’s only going to be a problem if I find out someone’s having a hard time and appear five minutes later.

I actually don’t really understand why everyone’s being so sanguine about it.  I was expecting someone to get jealous or leave me, but so far, no one has.  Not even Crystal.

Speaking of whom, I told Crystal later today, after I came home.

She just looked at me, and said “I have enough trouble trusting people.  Don’t violate it.”  Then she gave me a hug.

Fair.  I guess that means warn her before coming over, respect her wishes if she doesn’t want me to, and for all that’s good and holy, don’t sneak up on her.

I told her that if there’s a genuine emergency, all bets are off and I’ll ask forgiveness afterwards, but everything short of that, I’ll remember.  She just shrugged.  “It’d better actually be an emergency.”  But I gave her some Japanese treats, and, well, like most of my friends, food covers a multitude of sins.

I’ll tell Diana this weekend, and everyone else, I’ll just kind of trickle it out as I need to.  It’s not like I’m going to hide it from Emiko, but I’m not going to be dropping everything either.

Father’s day is this weekend.  I need to think of something to get Dave.  Maybe I’ll find something in London…

or…  maybe not.

David’s coming home this weekend.  I might prank him.

Anyway, I’m going to bed.  I’m still a little depressed.  I kind of wish this hadn’t happened, but, well… nothing I can do about it.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

I feel so low.  I don’t think I’ve ever felt quite this low before.

But at least I don’t have to worry about Liz… or Beth.

I went over to Liz’s house today (the normal way) and told her.  I think I was near tears when I did.  I’ve heard of panic attacks before, and I’ve never had one before… but this time, I came close.  Very close.

I sat down on her bed and she sat next to me, and I told her.  Pretty much everything.  I then asked her what kind of Japanese food she liked, and I went and got her some.  She likes dango, it turns out.  I was probably a mess when I bought them, the Japanese person behind the counter looked at me funny, but oh well.

Sometimes they look at any foreigner funny.

Anyway…  she sat there for a little bit and munched on her dango.  I could see the wheels turning, and then she looked at me.

“Is that all?”

That’s not… really not what I was expecting.  I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t that.

“Has anything ever been ordinary for you?  Don’t you think if I was going to leave because you’re a little weird, I’d have left a long time ago?”

Well…  that did it.  I just broke down.  I mean really broke down, red nose, tears flowing like a KyoAni anime, I completely lost it.  And all she did was carefully set down the rest of her dango, and hold me.

I don’t think I could have handled losing Liz.  She’s the closest thing to a real sister I have that, well, isn’t a real sister.  I couldn’t have dealt with that.  But about fifteen minutes later, I finally pulled myself together…  I must have been a mess.  No, I was a mess.

So we talked.  We talked for an hour.  I made sure she knows everything.  And she said again that she didn’t care, I’m Lily and she loves me for Lily, not for how normal or weird or whatever I am.  And she put my head on her chest and soothed me until I fell asleep.  Or at least dozed a little.

That was… maybe the most intimate time I’ve ever had with a girl.  No, silly-billies, nothing like that happened…  but some things transcend that, don’t you think?

She said I’ve comforted her when it was storming lots of times, it’s the least she can do.

But I’m still depressed.  I’ve got a whole bunch of other sisters to tell, and they might not be nearly as understanding.

Other than that brief excursion to Japan to get some dango for Liz, I didn’t go anywhere.  I was serious about not liking doing that.  It’s… actually a little traumatic, in a way.  Maybe I’ll get used to it.

I also told Beth.  Or at least told her formally (she did wonder where the okonomiyaki came from).  She said I’m still her sister, but I’d better get her snacks every now and then.

That’s Beth.  I wouldn’t expect any different.

So two down, quite a few more to go.  Ai and I talked it out a bit… she’s OK, she was just a little shocked.  She said when I come over next time I’d better bring her an American burger as a peace offering.  Sure, why not.

All my sisters love to eat…

Mrs. X also came over and we talked some more.  She’s changed subtly.  She used to be very formal and standoffish, or at least professional with a government bearing.  Now she’s being a little more motherly.  I guess she needed to keep it from me until it was time, and she couldn’t get too close.  She told me some stories about some of the trouble she got into – I guess it’s a temptation to do stuff you’re really not supposed to, and she got slapped down a few times.  She also told me which countries I should stay out of (the usual suspects, along with a surprise or two), and a few more rules that the treaties require.  Like, you know, don’t get involved in local politics, don’t smuggle stuff, don’t try to turn people against the government, etc.  Our role is “ministerial”, it seems, and as long as we stay in our lane it just is what it is.  They’d kind of prefer we didn’t exist, but there’s not a whole lot they can do about it, so they try to keep us regulated.  It seems our Boss allows that, as long as they don’t interfere with our core mission.

Whatever that is.

Mrs. X was a little cagey about that, she said all of our missions are a little different, and my job right now is to get used to it and come to terms with it, I’ll get my “marching orders” sometime in the future.

I get the idea that the governments weren’t always so sanguine about it, but our Boss is kinda powerful, and everyone came to something of an uneasy truce.

She told me about a couple of times when a government got a bit too uppity.  I’d heard about those events.  I thought they were natural disasters.  But it was made very clear to the government that they weren’t and there’s more where that came from, so we’re willing to play ball, they’d better as well.  After all, we don’t have to play by their rules.  We do by choice.  Well, the Boss’s choice, but still, by choice.  If we really wanted to we could topple governments, and pretty easily.  But that’s not why we’re here.

Well, most of the time.  I guess there were some folks in WW2 who were actively opposing moustache man.  Desperate times and all that.  But she made absolutely clear that if that situation ever occurs, we’ll be told, and to never, ever, ever take that into our own hands.

You remember those books I got Allison a long time ago?  “Support your Local Wizard?”  It kinda feels a bit like that.

I asked Mrs. X what the president is like.  She refused to talk about that, except to say that sometimes it’s very difficult to do her job when she has to be a babysitter for an elderly man.

Anyway…  I need to go.  I’m going to go talk to Miki.  I mean, literally, go talk to Miki.  I told her I was coming and I would explain when I get there.  She’s expecting me to fly.  Won’t she be surprised…

And maybe we’ll be fine, too.

I did tell Jack, btw.  He just shrugged.  “Some guys have psycho girlfriends, some have crazy girlfriends, some have dumb girlfriends… I just have one with a built in airline.”, he said.  He’s a keeper.  We need to have a long talk, though – this does change a couple of things.

Oh my God.  It changes a lot of things.  I didn’t even think of that.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

So… ummm…. I did go to Japan.  For dinner.   I poked away on Google maps until I found an out of the way place that looked like there wouldn’t be many people, and popped over.  I think someone saw me pop in, but it turns out if you just act like nothing happened, they won’t actually believe their own eyes.  And who could blame them?

You know, that’s actually pretty jarring.  I mean, really jarring.  The angle of the sun changed, it’s morning there when it’s night here, and, well…  you know the word “liminal”?  It kind of felt like that.  Like it wasn’t supposed to be something I was supposed to be doing.  But I found a food stall, bought some okonomiyaki and taiyaki for everyone, and popped back.

And you know… I don’t really want to do that too often.  I actually don’t.  It doesn’t hurt or feel bad or anything, but it’s kind of not emotionally pleasant in a way and I don’t really like it.

And now I have to find a way to tell the girls, too.  I think some are already a little jealous, will this just make it worse?  I just want to be one of the girls.  I don’t want to be a walking shrine or whatever it is I am.  And every time something like this happens, it just sets me apart more.  I wouldn’t blame them if they were jealous or didn’t like me anymore – I might feel the same way if the roles were reversed.

They liked the taiyaki though… so I guess there’s that.

Maybe I’ll just do that next time the girls are over.  “Here, have some taiyaki!” “It’s warm, where did you get it?”  “A little street stall in Osaka”.  “It’s… still warm.”  “Yeah, about that…”

You know…  I’m not usually a depressed girl.  I’m really not.  Crystal can get depressed pretty often, and she deals with it by learning guitar.  But I usually don’t get depressed.  I’m usually pretty happy, and cheerful, and like life.

But right now…

I think I might be depressed.  Or nearly so.  It’s not really fair!!!   All I want, all I ever want, is to have fun and spend time with my friends! but something always happens to make my life all serious and not fun, and… I don’t like it.  In fact, I hate it.  I hate it a lot.

I think I’m going to tell Liz tomorrow.

Or maybe tonight.

Maybe she’ll still be my best friend after. I need a hug.

You know what the worst thing is?  There are so many ways I could abuse this.  I can think of about ten right now without even trying.  But even if I wanted to, I dare not.  And isn’t the only thing worse than not being able to do anything you want, being able to do almost anything you want, and not being allowed?  Not that I want to, really, but still.  I doubt I’d have been given this if I did.

At least if I could take other people with me, I could share it, but I can’t even do that.  I don’t want to be selfish, but I have to be selfish.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Well… ummm.  A lot has happened.  And I guess that’s putting it mildly.

I still don’t know how much I understand and I might understand none of it.  Or some of it.  Or something.

So yesterday morning I was having a video chat with Ai.  She’s having a bit of a hard time of it right now.  Nothing awful, but she’s starting college and it’s a different world for her, and, well…  we were talking and I was kind of wishing I was over there so I could give her a hug, and… well…  I was over there.  It was almost instant.  No swooshing sound or seasickness or anything like that.  Just one moment I was looking at Ai through a video screen, and one moment there she was.

She looked at me…  I looked at her…  then she, well, sighed.

“Walking shrine?”, she said, sounding utterly defeated.

“I have no idea,” I said.  “This is… completely unexpected.”  Then I sat down on her bed.  “And I have no idea how to get back.”

Thankfully, that problem solved itself.  Mrs. X, well, popped in too.

Ai looked at her, then at me.  “Maybe I should get a snack”, she said.  “You… umm… want anything?”

I didn’t know what else to do, so I just said “I… ummm…  This is Mrs. X…  I think she has something to talk to me about.  I’m sorry…”

She just walked out of the room.  I couldn’t quite read the look on her face, it was something like a combination of “How could I have expected anything different?” and “I didn’t just see that, if I get a snack and come back maybe everything will be normal again.”

“I suppose you have questions,” she said without preamble.”

“I just travelled ten thousand miles in less than a second, you could say I have questions!”, I said, just a little annoyed.

She sat down in the chair that Ai was just sitting in.  “Well, I guess I should start from the beginning.  As you’d guessed, I think., I’m like you.  I have one of those ‘gateways’ inside of me.  I don’t remember getting it either, my parents were, well.. a lot like yours.  They also liked to experiment with things they should have just left alone.”  She sighed.  “How do you think I knew what had happened so quickly?  I was already watching your parents.  I couldn’t exactly stop them without revealing more than I wanted to, but I was pretty sure something bad would eventually happen.  And, well, it did.  By the time the ‘experiment’ happened, I already had plans to deal with the situation.  But, as always…  humans are unpredictable, and they dropped you by the side of the road before I had a chance to come pick you up.”

“Okay,” I said, “But I think there’s a more important question.  Why am I in Japan?”

She leaned forward.  “People like us have certain… abilities.  We’re given a totem, I guess you could call it, that acts as a transportation network and anchor as well.  Yours looks like a lycoris radiata.  I won’t tell you what mine looks like.  You were already told it’s indestructible.  As long as you’re alive, there is nowhere you can’t go, and no one can keep you anywhere.  It’s really handy,” she said softly.  “It’s also a major thorn in the side of every government.  in exchange for not hounding us and making our lives a living hell, they just demand to be able to track us wherever we go, and that we not abuse it.  Not that they could really stop us, but they could make lives difficult for our loved ones.”

She must have seen the look on my face, because she said, quickly, “That’s why you have that passport.  As long as you can be tracked and have that passport, you don’t have to worry about that.  Every government is aware of our existence and there are many secret treaties out there that govern what we’re allowed and not allowed to do.  If we violate those treaties, it could cause wars, so don’t mess up.”

“Why don’t you -“

“You can’t take anyone with you.  This is for you and you alone.  You can take with you whatever you can carry on your person, but there are limits.  You probably shouldn’t test them.  I don’t usually travel like this because I can’t take my bodyguards with me.  Besides, it’s nice to have some downtime to read while I’m in the plane.”  She sighed.  “A couple of times I’ve tried to take people out of a bad situation.  It didn’t work.  Don’t get into that kind of situation if you can help it, I can’t think of a more powerless feeling than not being able to get someone out of a situation you can get yourself out of.  These are the kinds of things you have to learn to manage.  It’s not…  simply good.”

“How do I get back?”

“You just have to really want to be wherever you’re going.  Intention is key.  There aren’t any words you can say, and you can’t be forced to go anywhere against your will.  You just have to intend to be there, and, well, you’ll be there.  Today I guess you just finally wanted to be somewhere enough to go there, and I’ve been noticing your totem has been gaining power lately.  That’s why I got you the passport.  I had a feeling you’d be needing it.”

I sighed.  “Just what I need.  Something else to set me apart…”

“It’s as much a blessing as a curse,” she said.  “With great power comes great responsibility, and I’m sure our Lord will have things he wants you to do with it, but for now, just get used to it and try to avoid getting into trouble.  One of the reasons we can get away with this as much as we can is that we’re regulated.  If we screw up we get a talking to, and not from the government.”

I gulped.  “Have you -“

“A couple of times,” she said sadly.  “People think he’s vengeful and mean and punitive… but he’s not.  He just gets disappointed in you, and tells you exactly how and why he’s disappointed in you, and you end up feeling like a small child who’s getting scolded by a parent.” She shuddered.  “I don’t suggest you find out.  Try and warn people first unless it’s an absolute emergency.”

She looked at her watch.  “I think that’s everything you need to know for now.  I need to head back.  I was in a meeting with the president.  Fortunately, this one… wouldn’t even know I’m gone.”  She sighed.  “Why we elected… nevermind.  When you’re ready to go back, just intend to go back.  We’ll be in touch.”  And she popped away.

Ai came back in with some daifuku.  “Lily?”

I sighed.  “Walking shrine.  That’s… pretty much what happened.  Walking shrine.”

She set the daifuku down, and bowed and clapped.  I sighed.  But it’s hard to blame her.  I just popped into her room with no warning.

I gave her a hug.  “It’s alright.  It’s just one of those things that come with being me, I guess.  I’ll come visit soon.  I promise, but next time I’ll ask first.”

She hugged me back.  “It was nice to see you anyway,” she said.

“Bye for now”, I said, and, well, popped back into my room.  We kept up the video call like nothing happened for a little while, except Ai looked a little shell shocked.  I hope she gets over it.

After we hung up, I went to find Sabby and told her everything.

She listened, then shook her head.  “Only you, Lily.  Don’t go overboard.  You don’t know what the limits are and it sounds like Mrs. X was saying that those limits are important.”  She shook her head.  “I actually don’t really envy you.  Your world just got a lot smaller, but now everywhere in the world is like your backyard, so…  all the fun of travelling just went away for you.  Now it’s only about the destination, and…  I wonder what you’ve lost.”

“Maybe that’s why Mrs. X. still takes a plane.”

“Maybe so,” she shook her head.  “Remember what I said about not giving any of your money away?  You promised me, remember?”

I nodded my head.

She got a serious look on her face.  “Don’t let anyone take advantage of you.  It seems like this ability isn’t very easy to take advantage of, but people could still find a way, and you know you would let them.  Don’t do it.  Don’t be afraid to say no.  There’s not much they can do to you anyway if you refuse, but there are things people can do that don’t involve directly hurting you.  Just stay out of the bad situations as much as possible.”

I gulped.  It’s true.  Sabby’s always wise.

So, anyway… that’s what happened.  I can apparently travel anywhere in the world in the blink of an eye… with limits.  My world just expanded.. and changed.  A lot.  It feels a little like I won the lottery – but winning the lottery isn’t always good.  It’s life-changing always, but not always good.  I just hope I can keep being me.  You know.  Lily.  Not the ark or walking shrine, or the gateway or whatever it is I am.  But Lily.  I’m just Lily.  I’ll always be just Lily.

I need to talk to Jack.  He’ll probably wonder why I can’t come see him more often.  I don’t think his parents would like me popping into his room unannounced, and I can’t take him with me.  There’s a certain decorum to all of this, isn’t there?

And I have to decide what and how to tell people.

So…  I guess I have a lot to think about.   But, it’s morning in Japan, I have a few leftover yen, and I’m hungry for a okonomiyaki.  Maybe I’ll head over to Osaka and find a food stall.   I… never thought I’d say that – heading over to Osaka as casually as going to the konbini.  But, I guess that’s my life now.

Anyway…

Love you all!!! ❤️

And… I hope you still love me too.  I don’t blame you if you don’t, anymore.

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

I went to Japan today.

For about twenty minutes.

I did not fly.

I still am not quite sure what happened, or how.

I will write later.  I’m very, very confused, and a little scared.

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Crystal and her band came over this afternoon to practice.  They’re really getting good!!!  I just kinda sat there and listened to them whaling on stuff.  They’re better than they ever were with us girls.  That makes me happy, we were never a good fit.

Sabby took me to see the new live house this afternoon too, and it’s really coming along well!!! The contractors are working really hard, and all of the stuff is built, but not painted or decorated yet.  The stage is pretty big and there’s an actual soundbooth and everything.  All of the electronic stuff is in boxes waiting to be installed, and there’s a lot of it – an actual lighting rig too!!!

David’s looking forward to learning how it all works, but he’s still at camp.  Thankfully staying out of trouble.  For now, anyway.  He seems to be having a good time, and Sabby alerted the staff to his “relationship”, so they’re not letting him have a single minute alone with her.  Haha!!!

Anyway…  Crystal is really thriving, and she’s really getting to be good, like I’ve said.  Give her a few months and she’ll be good enough to, well… Bocchi all over the stage.  Haha!!!  She’s so driven it’s almost Japanese.  I admire that about her.  She even found a teacher online and has been taking lessons.

Anyway, now that all of the really important stuff is over for now, I’m going to take it “easy” for a bit – or at least as easy as Sabby will let me.  I can’t run yet, so I might sleep in a bit tomorrow.  But at least the pain is gone, as long as I don’t try to do anything cute.

Love you all!!! ❤️