Diary

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

It’s been another quiet day.  I do like quiet days but they don’t make for a good story, do they?  I just go running, I eat breakfast, I do homework, sometimes I go to class… maybe I go to the shop after, or maybe not, depending on how much work I have to do.  I practice piano, maybe go to lessons, sometimes the girls are over or do something silly…  it’s not really all that interesting is it?  But I still write every day because it’s a good habit and because you like to read what I’m up to.  At least I hope you like to read what I’m up to.  Maybe you’re rage-reading.  Maybe you hate my guts and are reading here just to tell all your friends what a jerk I am.  I don’t think I am, but..  maybe?  I mean, do jerks always know they’re jerks?

Interesting question there, I suppose.

Karens don’t always seem to know they’re karens.

So, maybe I’ll tell you all the fun stuff coming up.  Well…  kind of.

Let’s see.  Rebecca’s about to move – I think she flies up to Dallas this weekend.  She’s a little nervous and she’s going to miss her friends, but she’s really popular and she’ll make lots of friends in Texas too.  And there’s always zoom.  Maybe I’ll add a few sisters.

Dave’s trying to figure some time to remodel the front of the store to add a small stage and some audio equipment.  We’ve ordered all the maid outfits and nobody seems to mind – except Baker.  Baker cursed a little in Spanish and said no way no how is she wearing a maid outfit – it’ll just get dirty and floury anyway.

She’s too good, so we just kind of backed off and asked her to at least wear a chef’s hat.

She grumbled a bit but agreed.

Truthfully, I don’t even know why we asked.  She’s in the back, no one sees her, and she prefers it that way.

What else.  Halloween is coming up and it’s only a minor big deal at the Smith house.  Dave’s starting to pull decorations out of the garage and attic, and we told him to buy a better ladder.  He grumbled but it’s on its way.  He’s been pretty injury free lately but is still clumsy, and pressure-washer accidents are never off the table.

I’m going with Liz’s family on vacation Thanksgiving week.  I still don’t know where.

And Ai is coming over for Christmas, and she might be taking at least one of the Aidols with her.

Well, that’s all the news that’s fit to type, I suppose.  Wonder what else will happen.  Guess we’ll find out!

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

The weather is finally breaking!  Next week we’ll have highs in the 70s!  I might even have to break out my track suit or hoodie in the morning!!!  I can’t wait, it’s been a very hot summer!!!

Summers in Texas aren’t the best.  Winters are great!!!  Well…  except for maybe three days in January.

So it’s a Monday.  Mondays aren’t great.  You know, like in that movie, “sounds like someone’s got a case of the Mondays!”.  I can’t remember the name of the movie, though.  Some creepy guy with a red stapler talking about married squirrels.  Oh well.

I’m not really depressed.  I mean, I’m happy enough, I guess.  I’ve got all my sisters and we’re spending lots of time together, and everyone’s getting along pretty well.  Rebecca’s even moving to Dallas or thereabouts really soon!  (she’s been packing and getting ready for the move for a couple of weeks now – they have a lot of stuff).  I’m…  not really all that happy with some things, though.  I mean…  that thing that happened in church.  Why should I be happy about it?  I mean, some people did get helped by it, and great, but it turned me into some kind of prayer warrior or something and now I feel a little guilty that I don’t pray for people, but what if I do and nothing happens?  What if I say I’ll pray for someone and forget to pray for someone?  What if whoever prayed through me never does it again and I stand there like an idiot?  It’s too much responsibility!  I don’t want to!  I don’t want any of this!

But a lot of things have happened to me that I don’t want and didn’t choose.  None of it’s fair and sometimes I wonder whether I really like God after all.  Even though he seems to have taken a personal interest in me for some reason, I still wonder.

But…  maybe it was him that gave me that chocolate milkshake, so I guess it’s something after all.

I just want to live life as a teenage gi – I mean woman.  That’s all I want right now.  I want to spend time with my sisters and boyfriend and go shopping and buy cute shoes and eat stuff that’s way bad for me, and maybe go to class and…  do class stuff and take lessons and… just be normal.

But life doesn’t really seem to have “normal” in mind for me.

And I hate that, really.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Ummm..  Sundays are pretty cool, I guess.  You get to laze around, and… well, not with Sabby around.  But I don’t have to do go school or do homework or practice or do lessons.  I just get to do what I want.  Sabby still expects me to be useful, but otherwise I can do what I want.

I didn’t go to church though.

I don’t think I want to go to church again.

I mean, I like church well enough, but after what happened last time…  I’m not even embarrassed…  I’m…  I don’t know what to call it.  Unnerved.  Whatever it is I am, if I go back, I’m going to have to deal with a whole bunch of trouble I don’t want to deal with.  Haven’t I had enough trouble?

Anyway, enough of that, I guess.  Nothing interesting’s happened, lately.  I’m sure something will…  but I try to post every day, even when nothing’s happened and it’s boring… should I keep doing that?  We’ll see, I suppose.  At least Dave grilled this afternoon.  Yum!

Oh… did I mention that they fixed my car window?  I don’t remember.  I might have.  They did!  Yay!!!

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

I didn’t write yesterday because we were having too much fun!!!

Usually we all stay in and do stuff, but last night all the girls and me went out!!!  We had a girl’s night out!!! We dressed up and went to the game place and to get frozen treats and there’s a place in Austin that sells Japanese treats!!!  And after that we went to a movie!!!  It was lots of fun!!!

After that we came home but it was late so we just pretty much immediately made a girl pile and conked out.

I don’t know why we don’t do that more often.  I mean, we’re girls, right?  We like shopping!!!

Today was a little boring.  The girls stayed over, but we didn’t have anything we really wanted to do, so we just watched youtube and anime and played games and told stories.  It’s fun telling stories, and Crystal’s really good at it.

I wanted to go on a date with Jack tonight but he hired a tutor!  Can you believe it?  Jack!  He’s really taking his studies seriously now!  But…  we still should find time to go on dates, I think.  Well, I’ve been bugging him about it, so I can’t really complain, I guess.  And I’ve got my sisters so it’s not like I’m really lonely…  still… I miss him.

Anyway, I guess I should go.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

So…  it’s been a day, I guess. Thursdays are usually boring.  This one kinda wasn’t.

So… good news.  The glass repair people found a slot, and they were able to repair the glass in my car.  So it’s drivable.  I still need to get it to a body shop to get all the hail dents undented, but that can wait for a while.

The bad news.  Well… remember how I was telling you about those roofers?  Well, one came over today that wouldn’t take no for an answer.  Dave told them no.  A few minutes later they were on the roof and starting to remove shingles.

Well…  Dave’s a second amendment guy…  about twenty seconds later, which was all it took to get into his safe, he had them on the ground and the police on their way.

This is Texas. You don’t do things like that here.

The police came…  gave Dave a bit of crap but he knew his rights, and they took the roofers away – but not until getting their info so he could sue them for the further damage they caused to the roof.  He’ll be lucky to get a penny, I guess, but it’s the principle of the thing, right?

So now he *really* has to call a roofer though.  Sigh.

Why do people do stupid things like that?  Especially in Texas?

Otherwise, you know, the usual.  Studying, practicing, all that fun stuff.  Thursdays really are boring most of the time.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

It’s Wednesday!!!

A pretty boring Wednesday, I guess.

At least it’s not hailing!!!

Yuki’s over tonight.  Liz has a lesson or something, so it’s just me and Yuki.  She seems to like coming over, I think she gets lonely.  Her host family is nice but they don’t do a lot of things with her, they’re older so they just kind of keep to themselves.  I think they like that she’s going out more.  We watched some anime, and played some youtubes of her performing and I asked her what she was thinking about when she was on stage.  She said that she really doesn’t think about anything other than just doing her performance and not messing up too much.

“Too much?”, I asked.

She sighed.  “Being an idol is weird, if you make a mistake, it just makes them like you more.  Sometimes I made a minor mistake on purpose just to be cute.” she sighed.  “You know idols where special innerwear so that they don’t show their pantsu, right?”  She blushed.  “I forgot mine once.  That wasn’t intentional.”

I giggled.  “Well that’s fanservice.”

“I guess”, she said.  “Now twenty thousand of my closest friends know what my pantsu look like.  At least it was clean.”

I giggled a little.  Then I told her how I lost my top at the waterpark.  It was her turn to giggle.  “You didn’t have as much of an audience, but… I can imagine the look on those boys’ face…” she fell over giggling.  “And you’ve got so much… more…”  She squealed with laughter for a few moments, then recovered and sat up again. “I guess everyone has those moments.”

She was quiet for a moment.

“You know, I really would have liked to perform actual music…  I mean, idol music is music, but… not… music.”  She said this wistfully.

‘”Like this?”, I asked, and showed her the video of when I performed that Schumann concerto with an orchestra.

She watched it carefully, then when it was over, said “I am so jealous!”

“You’re jealous of me?” I asked incredulously.  “You’ve got an entire country full of fans.  You’ve sold out Tokyo Dome and Budokan.  You’re… jealous of me??”

She actually sniffled.  “I did all those things,” she said quietly.  “But none of them really meant anything.  I just sang silly songs and danced around and acted cute, and people ate it up.  But did that really require talent?  What you did requires talent”, she said sadly.

I guess so.  I’d never thought of it that way.  Maybe I didn’t sell out HEB Center, or anything like that, but it took a lot of work and it was really fun and not everyone can do it.  She can’t do it.  She’s a little more talented than some idols, she had some training, but…  she can’t do what I did.

Awww.

That actually makes me a little sad, if I’m being honest about it.  I guess everyone has a dream, and sometimes even the people who look like they’re living their dream really aren’t.  Or maybe they are but somewhere along the line they got another dream.

“So… what do you really want to do?”, I asked.

She…  just kind of froze and looked lost.  “I thought… I wanted to be an idol.  And now I was…  and then I hated it.  Would I hate doing anything else I wanted to do?”

“Maybe…  or maybe you haven’t found what gives you life yet.”

Maybe… maybe I haven’t either, if I’m being honest.  I like the stuff I do…  but…  how will that turn out?

Is life about doing what you love?  Or loving what you do?

“Why don’t you take some music lessons then?” I asked.  “I know you took some training as an idol.  Is there anything you’d want to do, like that?”

“I wish I could sing,” she said.  “Like… really sing.  You know, like the singers who do the anime openings.  They’re so good,” she gushed.  “I was never that good.”

Then she played an anime opening for me, and…  she’s right.  That lady can really, really sing.

“Beth’s taking voice lessons,” I said.  “Maybe you can see if you can work with her teacher?”

I guess she’s going to think about it.

An idol.  Jealous of me.

Amazing.

Anyway, I guess it’s bedtime.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

My car still isn’t fixed.  Awww.  But the window repair people did say they could come out early next week – they have the windows, they just need to find the time to come out.  They have a lot of business right now.  Awwww.

There’s a lot of damaged cars and windows and roofs around the neighborhood.  It’s not like snowpocalypse where you hear lots of chainsaws and stuff, though there is a bit of that because of the winds that came with it, just a lot of tarps over cars, etc.  I guess that’s what happens.

So Yuki, Sabby, cat-girl, and I have been negotiating about her job and what she is supposed to do.  We all went down to the shop and just talked it out.  Yuki suggested maybe we have some small karaoke rooms, but Sabby shot that down because she doesn’t think it’d be profitable, and she’s probably right.  I suggested we set up a few tables and chairs, and put up a stage like in Akihabara, and everyone could dress in maid costumes and sing and dance to idol songs.  Cat-girl wasn’t dead-set against it, but none of the girls know how to sing and dance, and she thinks it’d be a bit humiliating.  She’s probably right.  So what we eventually came up with, is that we’re going to turn it into a maid cafe, but Yuki will sing and dance and idol all over the place (we’ll schedule times and stuff) and otherwise the girls will do everything they used to, except they’ll say “irasshaimase goshujinsama” and be a little simpy.  We could all live with that, and cat-girl didn’t think it’d be a problem with the other girls.  We’ll have to have the servers wear the maid outfits too, though.  The costumes are pretty enough, but consistency is key.  And maybe we can have a cosplay night every week or so where the girls can let loose.  Cat-girl really liked that idea!

And of course if any of the girls want to learn to idol, Yuki can teach them.

Basically it’s a part time job for nearly everyone so no one has huge expectations, but it should be pretty fun.  I imagine all we’ll have to do to advertise is tell a couple of the Japanese tourists that somehow make their way over, and it’ll be all over Japan by the end of the day.  Hahah!!!

Yuki is really concerned about people getting out of hand, but I told her that all we expect from her is to sing and dance and do idol-like stuff, but all the lies and stuff that an idol is expected to do?  This is the US.  We don’t do that.  She seemed relieved.  If she’s not having fun it’s not worth doing.

I talked to Sabby on the way home.  She still has a few reservations, but she saw how popular the maid cafes were in Japan, and she thinks it could be a success if we market it correctly.  I mean, not like they’d market it in Japan.  This is Texas.  And at least it’s better than a bikini bar.

So we pretty much have to remodel the front end of the store, but we’ve made so much, it shouldn’t be a problem.  Just have to find the time to do it and shut the store down for a week or so while we do it.  Aww.

I think it’s kind of fun, though.  I’m trying to source some Japanese treats, I think it’d be cool to have some of those for sale too.  And Sabby seems interested in learning how to make some Japanese treats, like mochi, daifuku, and crepes.  Yum!!!

Okay.  Enough of that I suppose.

I didn’t go to church on Sunday.  I’m a bit scared to, to be honest.  No one’s pushing me, though.  That’s nice.

Maybe if I’d prayed the hail wouldn’t have hit.  No, bad me.  Don’t think like that.  That’s too much pressure.  Even when… that… happened… I wasn’t really the one praying.  I don’t think.  I’m so confused.

Anyway…  guess I should go to bed.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

And OMG did it hail last night!!!

Some big bad storm came in from the north and dropped softballs on us!!!

It was awful!!!  THUMP!! BANG!!! CRASH!!!

That crash…  was our cars’ back windows.

Awwww.

Thankfully the main car was spared because it has the kind of back window that’s vertical, but everything had dents and… awww.  And the power went out last night too, so I couldn’t post!!! We got out the flashlights and candles and…  read, and stuff.  Until it was time to go to bed.  Then… we went to bed.  The power came back on sometime during the night. The good news is after the last power outage Dave had a thinky moment and got some beefy power cells.  So we had enough power for phones and emergency lights too.  Yay!!!

So today was calling insurance and trying to find a place that could replace the windshields, which was a problem because everyone else was too!  It looks like it might be a week or two before they can fix it!  Dave went to the hardware store and got some plastic sheets and taped them over, so at least there’s that.  I guess I can drive it but it’s awful!!!

Liz’s car was damaged too… everyone’s car was damaged!  Awww!!!!

Oh well.  That happens in Texas sometimes.  Remember the tornado last year?

Some people went door to door offering to fix our roof, and Dave told them to buzz off.  Apparently those kinds of people are scammers.  But it does look like our roof does need some repairs, so Dave’s been calling the insurance company for that, too.

So that’s been our day.  Sabby took me and Liz to school and back so I didn’t have to drive a car with broken windows.  I bought her a milkshake.  She seems to consider that a somewhat fair trade.

Okay, well…  I guess that’s the big news right now.  Lily gets hit by monster hail!  Film at 11!

Time for bed.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Beth, Diana, and Crystal are off at Crystal’s house, so today it’s just me, Liz, and Yuki.  It’s a little quieter than usual, and that’s not a bad thing.  Rebecca is busy packing (they’re moving soon!) and it’s a bit early for Ai, so it’s just the three of us.

We had an impromptu musical party, I guess you could say.  Liz brought her violin and we did a little concert…  and then we played something Yuki sang as an idol, and… she’s really not half bad, really!  I mean, I know some idols can’t really sing to save their lives, but Yuki took some lessons, and while her singing is more poppy than classical, it actually came out pretty well.  She can even sing “idol”!  How cool is that?  It’s a really hard song.  Some songs phrasing isn’t important, this one it really is.

She told us she wants to take the job at the shop, but she still has some reservations.  I don’t think she wants to be treated like she was as an idol.  I told her that we want her experience in entertaining, but we’re not asking her to be an idol, just to help us build out the shop as an entertainment venue and not just a bakery.  She seemed kind of excited at that.  We’re not going to be some kind of underground band place or something, but karaoke, etc., might be fun.  Sabby and I still haven’t exactly decided what we’re going to do, but we’ll work it out.

Anyway, other than that, we ate pizza and chocolate (Yuki really loves pizza, she says they have it in Japan but not like here, it’s just so much better here) and now we’re watching anime.  We started watching “Bocchi the Rock”, and it’s… so cool.  We haven’t gotten too far but she met Kita, and that’s pretty neat!  She’s a really good guitarist.

I don’t know why I didn’t watch anime earlier.  Maybe I just thought it was all cute cat-girls going “nya nya, master”.  Well, sometimes, I guess… but not all of them!!!  Yuki was telling me there are some with a cooking theme, some with a biking theme… seems anime just seems like a way to take hobbies and set them to video.

Sometimes.

Anyway, we’re going to watch a few more episodes and go to bed.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Autumn is here in a couple of days!!!

… and it’s upper 90s.

I like Texas in winter…

So anyway, not much interesting to talk about today.  Allison’s mother is pretty sick, aww.  I hope she takes care of herself, because I told Allison I’d go over there with a rolled up newspaper and say “bad Allison’s mother!” and bop her on the nose.  When you’re sick, you have to rest and eat ice cream and ginger ale and let people take care of you!!!  And of course I’d bring cookies because you don’t bop people on the nose with a newspaper without offering cookies.  It’s just bad form.

Yuki’s still thinking about whether she wants to work at the shop.  It could go either way,  But Sabby and I were talking, and if she chooses to, well, she really would bring a lot of entertainment experience to the table, and we could learn a lot from her.  But we’re not pushing, we know she stopped being an idol for a reason.  But then… this isn’t really being an idol.  It’s being an entertainer using her idol skills.  That’s a little different, I think.

I watched the third episode of “Akebi’s Sailor Uniform” today.  It’s really cute..  But… umm…  Sabby thinks it was written for men.  She might be right.  But it’s still cute!!!  this episode was Akebi trying to decide which club to join.  Everyone wanted her!!! And who can blame them?  She’s adorable!!!

Anyway…  umm…  I don’t know what else to talk about.  It’s a quiet day.  I like quiet days, but they don’t give me a lot to talk about.  And I like talking!

Love you all!!! ❤️