Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!
So Yuki and I sent off a big ol’ crate. It contained some of our bigger stuff that would be awkward for me to pop over, and a few other things we could do without. I mean, I could pop some of it over, but I was cautioned not to overdo it because of how my “totem” works, so if we can do without whatever for a month, we just stuffed it in the container.
I’m actually starting to pack up some of the stuff I don’t usually use to put it in storage, etc. I mean, if I need it I can just come get it, but if not, just have a small pile of boxes in the garage or attic, I suppose.
This is really happening, I guess. I’m moving to Japan, even if temporarily. the visas are all straightened out (even though I technically don’t need one, Mrs. X. said it’s better that I go through the motions – pretty much they can’t deny me and I could just go anyway even if they did, but they appreciate the thought anyway). The plane tickets are purchased (again, I don’t need one, but I’m going with Yuki for emotional support), and, well… it’s happening.
It’s starting to sink in for the girls, too. Especially Crystal. She’s been clingier than usual lately. She hasn’t tried to kiss me or anything (I think she would if I let her, at least on the cheek), but she’s been hanging off my arm, sitting in my lap…. just really cuddly. She usually isn’t, well, quite like that. She’s a little more adventurous than the rest of us but this isn’t like that. I see tears in her eyes when she thinks I’m not looking. She’s been getting a lot of headpats from me lately.
Aww.
Crystal has a big heart. A wounded, nearly destroyed heart, but a big one, with a huge capacity for love that not all of us have, really. She feels so intensely, it’s actually a little unnerving sometimes. Diana’s a little more cheerful, Beth tends to be reserved and analytical, Liz is often guarded (not usually with me after, well, The Incident, but with most others, she is). But crystal wears her heart on her sleeve, and I don’t know how she’s going to handle it when I leave.
That rhymed. Heh.
I feel bad, but I don’t. This is part of growing up. Loving, leaving, reuniting, growing… when I come back after I graduate, none of us will be the same. I won’t, Crystal won’t, Diana won’t, Beth won’t… none of the girls I know and love and consider sisters will be the same. I hope we still consider each other sisters after. But if not, well… that’s a part of life too. As sad and frustrating as it is, sometimes.
I worry about Crystal the most out of all of us, but also the least. She’s the one, out of all of us, who knows how much people can suck. But she also knows how much life can be wonderful, too, even if she doesn’t see it sometimes through a haze of pain. I hope she finds someone she can love and trust and can move on and have a happy life.
But that’s not an easy thing sometimes, especially for her.
I asked Miki how her group can afford to stay in Houston for as long as they’re going to – their calendar is usually packed full. She said that they have some other events here too other than just the matsuri, and they want to take a little time to explore Houston. I suggested maybe they’d like to come to the waterpark. We girls do like waterparks… at least when my top stays on.
They’re also going to make a mini-documentary DVD where they travel around Houston and see some of the sights, like the space center, and I guess they might hit up a fair too. I hope we can go along, but some events are just for the idols. We’re a flash in the pan, they’re what the fans come for. She said we might take a day, though, and do a mini-documentary about “a day having fun with the train onee-chan girls”. That does sound like fun. Especially if they pay, haha.
When Yuki heard about that, she doubled down on the idol training. Haha!!!
But it makes sense. It’ll make for a good documentary if we all know how to act around a camera.
It’s been a bit challenging getting all the girls from Dallas, Houston, and LA on the same page, but we’re managing. It’s kind of a full time job for Yuki right now, but she’s kind of in her element, and she doesn’t mind. It’s fun for her, to feel like she’s getting back into the idol world a little. In fact, some of the training stuff, I’ve been recording, it’ll probably go on one of the DVDs.
After it’s all done, maybe they’ll never use it again. But I think Crystal and Beth will, at least. And Aika and Mika are cute enough, maybe they can actually make something out of it. They’re what, 11 and 12 now? Just at that cute age where everything’s just starting to blossom, and when Yuki’s training them, there’s “awwww!”s from everyone. I don’t think Emiko will let them be idols, though.
Not surprising, tbh. Don’t blame her in the slightest. But they’re still cute.
Anyway… gotta go.
Love you all!!! ❤️
