Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

We’re in Houston.  Well, at least some of us are.  the rest of them are filtering in over the next day or so.  The LA girls already have their rooms (Britni, Kari, Yu, Chelsi), Rebecca’s coming down tomorrow, and, well, it’s happening.  We’ve got a pretty full schedule going – apparently the local news wants to do an interview with the “girls who were a sensation in Japan”.

But the news you probably are waiting for – I took Jack with me.

See, we talked with Allison’s mother, and we figured out some of the problem:  Jack feels left out.

Looking back on it, how can I blame him?  He’s been like the rent-a-boyfriend for me, I guess you could say.  There when I need him, but I’ve done all this stuff without him.  I went to Japan without him – twice.  I went to LA without him.  I went on a road trip, well…  he was there, so there’s that.  But all this fun stuff I’ve been doing, and I either didn’t include him or couldn’t include him.

And then I come up with this whole “totem” thing and can go all over the world – again… without him.

And I feel so, so bad about that.

I don’t feel bad about the fact that I “left him out”, because, well, it wasn’t on purpose, and most of the time I couldn’t take him along (not all the time, but most of the time).  But I feel bad about the fact that he feels left out, because, let’s face it, he has every friggin’ right to.

Poor guy.

I say I love him…. and I even mean it… but I’ve left him out of almost everything that means anything to me.  It’s been the girls this and the girls that and my sisters this and my sisters that, and, oh, I guess I have a boyfriend too.

The problem is, I don’t know how to fix it, because I can’t actually change much.  I’m still going to Japan, and he’s still not.  And everything I’m doing in Japan, he won’t be included.  And even if he comes to Japan, it’ll be like a completely different world for him that he has no part in except that, well, he’s with me.

I don’t think he likes that feeling, and I don’t blame him.

So…  we at least know what the problem is now.  We’re going to talk about what to do about it.  A lot.  There’s going to be a lot of talking.  And, well, Emiko has given us our own room and she, well..  doesn’t really care what we do in it.  So…  maybe we can, I don’t know…  bond a little, I guess.

She said, basically, “after how I had you, I really have no right to say anything, and you’re adults too… but remember what happened when I did have you, and why you are where and what you are now…  and be responsible, because I know you don’t want to follow my example”.  And, well, she’s right.  Jack and I agree.  Red line applies.

But that doesn’t mean we’re not going to make a not-fully-clothed girl-boy pile, because, dang it, if that’s the kind of thing it takes to save our relationship, then I’ll do it gladly.  Not just that, but…  I like it.  He’s warm and smells like boy and I feel really safe when he’s holding me.

Beth gets to sleep with Aika and Mika, and, well, I’m hoping they can bond as sisters a little.  They’re not bad girls, and maybe Beth could use some more little sisters.

So the aidols… AND the idols… come to Houston tomorrow morning.  I might meet all of them at the airport.  This is going to be an amazingly chaotic time… but fun, too, I think.  And I’m going to introduce Jack to the idol group.  I’m not sure who’s going to explode first.

Jack and I are… ok, right now, I think.  We have a lot to think about and talk about and discuss, and our future isn’t guaranteed, but… at least we have an idea now, and that’s important.

Love you all!!!