Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Last night, Jack and I did a lot more talking.  I really did screw up.  I mean, I really, really screwed up.

I didn’t treat Jack right.

I didn’t realize how badly I screwed up until Jack and I started talking so much.  He’s really hurt.  He’s mostly hurt because he really does feel like he’s just an accessory for me.  Someone I drag out when I’m in the mood, not someone I actually want to be with.  He’d be wrong about that, but it doesn’t matter, that’s how he feels.

I asked him why he didn’t take more of a lead, and he said he just didn’t feel like I’d be receptive.

Maybe he’s wrong about that.  But maybe he’s not, and that maybe is enough to make me wanna cry.  Hard.

Because I actually do care about him.  I’ve just really, really sucked at showing it.  A few fun times when his parents aren’t home isn’t showing that.  It’s fun, but not really showing that, not in the way he needs it.

I’ve spent so much more time with my sisters than him, and maybe it should have been the other way around.  Or maybe it shouldn’t, but it’s enough of an open question…

Anyway, today we worked on choreography again.  All of us.  It’s kind of controlled chaos, all the idols are in the middle of the room doing their thing, and we’re all kinda circled around doing our thing as well, and sometimes bumping into each other or falling on our faces.  We’re getting better but there’s a lot of practice and rehearsal needed.  The idols have been really nice about it, they know we’re not pros.  Except for Yuki, who’s taken to it like a duck to water.

But we’re a lot better, and the idols are very reassuring that the fans will be very supportive, especially in Houston.  There’s definitely a “hometown girls” kinda vibe to it, which they’re going to play up a little.

So tomorrow they’re doing their “Houston tour” thing, where they get on a bus and see the sights, and we’re going to do our interviews, get a lot of practice, and maybe kidnap the choreographer too.  We’ve already told her we want to do that, and she just giggled and said “oh well, I guess it can’t be helped.”  Which is a polite Japanese way of saying “I’m in!”  So maybe we’ll take her to a waterpark or something.

The producer’s all in too, but he wants us to bring along a camera crew, and he’s providing a bus, too.  So….  yeah.  It’ll be a thing.  Maybe they’ll make it a special mini-documentary “Our choreographer gets kidnapped and showed around Houston by a bunch of American girls!”.  I bet that’d actually be popular.   Yuki wants to come along too, so between her and I, there won’t be too much of a language barrier.

She protested she doesn’t have a swimsuit, so we’ll take her to buy one too, and probably have a camera crew for her to model different ones.  I don’t know how she feels about that, but the glint in the producer’s eyes when he realized the fanservice potential meant she probably won’t have much choice.  But she’ll get to choose the ones she wants to model, I’m going to make sure of that, anyway.  and the choreographer is an older lady, but she’s beautiful.  She doesn’t have anything to worry about, and the blushing will just make her cuter.

Plus she gets some extra pay for it.  You know Japanese media, never pass up a chance for fanservice…

Sadly, we’ll all probably have to model a few too, but I don’t care, as long as they pay for the ones we choose.

Never thought I’d be a gravure model, haha.  But, no, it won’t be quite like that.  It’ll just be come out, spin, say “yes or no”, and go back into the dressing room.  Anything more, and I’ll be putting my foot down, and Yuki agrees.

The producer knows not to mess with us too much, haha.

I’m sure they can make it interesting in editing, you know with the picture in picture, sound effects, Japanese text, and narrator…

I did tell the girls if they need to shave anything, well, now’s the time.  All the blushing, but they listened.  And they’ll probably have their hair done up tomorrow because some of the makeup crew won’t have anything to do, what with the idol group being out and about..

Anyway…  other than that, I’m really tired, and it’s about time to go to bed again and have more talking time with Jack.  He might come with us tomorrow, but he might not.  We’ll see.  Actually, the producer had a thoughtful look on his face when he met Jack… I wonder what that’s about.

Love you all!!! ❤️