Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!
You know, there are some things I don’t talk about. One of those things is my coworkers. I don’t know why, I just don’t feel the need to. They’re pretty nice for the most part but I just go to work and do my job.
The other thing is that time between the time that I was taken on that first shopping trip, and the time I started this diary. I’ve said very little about that time. I’m not really sure why. Maybe just because it’s not that interesting. I mostly just spent that time holed up in my room, honestly. I mean, Dave and Sabby tried to include me in their family as much as they could, but Beth and to a lesser degree David just wasn’t having it, and I didn’t really feel like I belonged. It’s not that Sabby let Beth get away with it – she didn’t – but she couldn’t be there all the time, and Beth is nothing if not creative.
To Sabby’s credit, if I fired back every now and then, she didn’t yell at me. Her attitude was, if Beth could dish it out, then she could take it. I remember one time when Beth was making fun of me for something, and I just told her that maybe I wasn’t the prettiest girl, but she was ugly in a way makeup couldn’t fix. She went running to Sabby, and all Sabby said was, “You deserved it.”
It wasn’t a fun time and I prefer to not remember it.
There were some fun times, though. Sabby really did try. She took me on a few more shopping trips – though none of them meant quite as much to me as that first one. She got me chocolatey things every now and then – I think that’s one reason I like chocolate soooo much. It was Sabby’s way of including me. But it took a long time before I started to feel like a part of the family.
And I went to a lot of doctors and psychologists and psychiatrists. None of them could figure out why I’d lost my memory, and they told me that the way I lost my memory was really strange. They ran tests and poked and prodded me, and I spent a lot of time trying different things, the doctors hoping that maybe it would jog my memory. But it never did. Finally they just kind of gave up. They started shifting to trying to help me to cope with my life as it is, rather than trying to find my past. This diary was supposed to be a way to do that.
And, well, it seems to have worked pretty well, I think.
I made a few friends in virtual school, like Liz, and my tech friend that helped me set this site up, and a few other people I haven’t talked to much lately. I think my tech friend was sweet on me, to be honest. He was so nice, but I didn’t want to feel like I was using him, that’s why I pay for it myself now. I truly didn’t want a boyfriend. Jack was an accident. A happy accident, but an accident nonetheless.
Well, that’s the story. Not too interesting? Maybe I’ll think of some stuff that happened then. But, honestly… I’d still just rather forget.