Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!
I’m in Houston, and Yuki and I are staying overnight at Emiko’s.
It’s not like I’ll never be home again, but… I’m starting my new life in Japan. Emiko, Yuki, and I are getting on the plane tomorrow, and that’s the end. Of this diary, too.
Everyone stopped over before I left, and we hugged and cried it out, and I don’t know who cried more, them, or me. I’ll miss them. I know I can come back and see them anytime but that’s not healthy, I know it’s not. Not only will it mess with my sleep (I learned that from all that hopping I did over to see Miki and the choreographer), but I have to let go. I have to stat my own life. I’ve been granted an ability, one that has downsides as well as upsides. I don’t really have to let go if I don’t want to, but… I need to. I don’t want to, but I need to.
Thankfully my sisters understand, and I will come back every now and then.
It’s like… I don’t have to take the plane tomorrow. I can just pop over to my new apartment, and be done with it. And that’s a very real option, and there would be no reason not to do it. Except… Yuki needs me. And it’s worth spending a few hours to support Yuki. And, well… I need Yuki too. It wouldn’t do for me to separate myself from her right off. I need to make sacrifices too, and that’s one I’m happy to make.
I didn’t think Crystal would let me go. Girl kissed me on the cheek too. And then she looked into my eyes, cupped my face, and told me she loved me with such passion that I thought she might actually kiss me. But she didn’t. She just laid her head on my shoulder and cried her eyes out. Poor girl. I had to stroke her hair and tell her I’d be back to see her, I promise.
I’ll miss her. Thing about Crystal is, she’s adventurous, yes, but it’s real love there. It’s not like she just sees me as a girl she wants to experiment with – she loves me – every bit as intensely as Jack does, and I wonder if more, sometimes. Maybe not entirely in the same way, but I don’t think she was joking about wanting to marry me. Not really.
I… I think I understand. Kind of. That doesn’t make her, well, you know. It means she loves me and is a little confused about how to express it, I think. Yeah, I know, but I know her better than you, so there.
She’s got issues, but of all of my friends, her heart is the biggest, I think. Or at least the most sensitive and overflowing with feeling. She’ll go far, I think.
Even David said he’d miss me. Aww.
Beth came with me, Yuki, and Sabby to Houston, and she gave me a hug when I got out of the car too. she gave Yuki a hug too. Aww.
Anyway, I’m here, now. I’m going to hop on the plane tomorrow, and then it’s both over, and beginning, all at the same time.
Aika wants to play a board game, so…