Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Happy Leap Year!!!

Ummm… what’s leap year?  The last one was…. before the “accident”.  So I don’t remember.

Oh well.

So Yuki came over tonight and I asked her about my question.  You know, the one I had last night.

She took a while to think about her answer.

“No idol ever becomes an idol because they want to be part of the idol industry”, she said.  “Or very, very few do.  Most idols become idols because they like singing and dancing and being famous for singing and dancing, and… if you’re an idol, you get to do all those things.”  She looked a little wistful.  “You get to shine,” she said softly.  “Thousands of people you are shining for.  You’re in the business of making people happy.”  Then her face turned darker.  “Then producers get their hands into it, and you, and…” She sighed.  “That wasn’t your question.”

“And you?”

“Some producers aren’t nice people,” she said.  “My parents taught me martial arts.  They only tried it once.”

She was quiet for a bit.  “You get to shine,” she finally said.  “I miss shining.  A lot, sometimes.”

We just sat there for a little while.  She said, finally, “I watched you play, last week.  You play very well.  You play better than any idol I’ve ever met.  But… you don’t dance.”

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t dance,” she said.  “We dance to express things through our bodies, to say things that we can’t say with words.  You do that with music.  But you don’t dance.  Your fingers don’t dance, your body doesn’t dance, your piano doesn’t dance.  Here, let’s go play something.”  So I went downstairs with her, and she told me to play something.  It didn’t matter what, just something.  So I played the opening chords of the concerto I’m practicing.  And she started dancing.

I don’t think she was doing anything really special.  Just an idol dance where she waved her arms around and pranced a bit.  And…  it made the music better.  It was like she was taking everything the music was saying and turning it into motion, and it was so fluid.  I just stopped playing and looked at my fingers and the piano.  She was right.  It was dull.  The music was dull.  I wasn’t dancing.

“Dance,” she said, softly.

“I don’t know how.”

“No,” she said.  “Sit there, play, and dance“.

And… it was like the music exploded.

Things came out of it I’d never heard before.  Textures, colors…  it was beautiful.  And it was coming from my fingers.

She just looked smug.  “That  is why I became an idol,” she said.  “Maybe… maybe there were better ways.  But…  that’s why.  That’s why we become idols, that’s why we sing and dance for producers who don’t care about anything but money and just use us until we can’t be used anymore and toss us away with a big, fake tearful graduation concert.  That’s why we do it.  We get to sing and dance, and we get to make people happy with our smiles.  Do you understand now?

“Not exactly,” I said, softly.  “But I think so.”

Now I had to completely start over with my piece.  Thankfully I don’t have to relearn any of the notes.

Sigh.

I called my piano teacher and asked her about it, and she just sighed.  “Sometimes…  there are things we can’t really teach.  We try, but sometimes…  we have to wait for a time when you’re able to listen to what we have to say.  You weren’t there yet.  But I’m glad Yuki was able to explain it to you.  Now I’m really looking forward to your concert.”

“Yuki…  do you want to dance again?”  I asked her, later.

She looked wistful.  “Maybe someday.”

“I’ll talk to the conductor.”

“That’s…  ”  she ran up and glomped me.

“He’ll probably say no,” I said, while being glomped.  “That’s not really typical for a classical concert.  It’s… unheard of if it’s not ballet.”

“But I love you for trying”, she said, softly.

Putting idol style dancing in a classical concert.  That might be a hard sell.  But I’m going to try anyway.  Not just for Yuki.  Not just for anyone who might be dancing with Yuki.  But because, maybe, sometimes…  you do something that’s never been done before.  Maybe it’ll work.  Maybe it won’t.  But at least it’s never been done before.

As far as I know, anyway.

Love you all!!! ❤️