Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!
Yeah, ummm… last night was really sad. I don’t know what happened, but we all kind of piled together, you know, like we do… and then someone started sniffling, and then someone else started sniffling… and it didn’t take long before everyone was sobbing and head-petting and fetal-positioning and…. well… it got ugly for a while. I don’t even know who started it, it could have been me, but… I know how it ended. About twenty minutes of wailing and then we all just passed out. I’m pretty sure someone was even sobbing a little in their sleep.
Parting is difficult. We’ve spent the last three years, give or take, together. We lived through COVID, through Crystal trying (and thankfully failing) to kill herself, a couple of attempted assaults… and everyone learning how to drive, and getting our first jobs, and going to Japan together, and… all the stuff that makes us sisters. I tried to tell everyone that we won’t stop being sisters… and we won’t… but it didn’t make it better.
We love each other. I mean, we really, truly, love each other. And no amount of distance will change that.
… is what I’d like to say, but can I say that for sure? I mean, we’ll talk, and I’ll come visit, but can I say it for sure?
Emiko wants to come with me and Yuki to Japan. How can we say no? So she’s going to tag along. She’ll just come and visit her relatives and go home, but I think she doesn’t want me to have no family when I leave. Is she family? Yes… I think she is. I don’t know if I would have said that two years ago, but I do now. We don’t see each other a lot, but she’s family. Imperfect family, but family. I forgave her a long time ago.
Am I sad? Not as much as the others… not yet. But I am. I’m sad. I’m very sad. The life I knew is about to be over, replaced by a life I don’t know… mostly without my sisters.
Dangit… the tears are threatening again.
And it’s worse because it’s my decision that causes that. I can always come back. Travel around the world is instantaneous for me. But I don’t think that’s healthy. My sisters agree with me. But… like Kanade said… “That and my frustration are two different things”.
But Crystal does seem to have found other friends with her band, and maybe they understand her a little more than I do. Beth still has her vocal lessons and band stuff, and she’s kinda making more friends too. And Diana, well, she’s never been a loner, she just likes hanging around us more than her other friends. Everyone has friends… but are they sisters?
I guess that’s why we all cry.
Love you all!!! ❤️
From the creator:
Let’s get a little personal here: I’m glad Lily’s ending. I don’t think I want to do this project anymore. The idea of doing the next month and a half is actually, well, I wonder if I’ll make it that far.
When I started this project, it filled a need in my life. I was trying to understand something about myself and Lily was a pretty good avenue to do so. It’s not like she’s a lot like me – she’s not – but she expressed something I was trying to come to terms with. But three years later, I don’t need her anymore. I’ve grown up a little, and, well, so has she. She’s going to head off to Japan, and she doesn’t need me anymore, any more than I need her.
A part of me is seriously considering taking this site down a little while after I do the last post. I probably won’t do that, but I want to. She served a purpose, but I consider her a failure, and I’m not sure I want to keep her on the web anymore. What I will more likely do is convert this site to a much lighter weight site with fewer images and features, and just have her story out there to read, and consider it static.
It’s time for this phase of my, and Lily’s life to be over.
How do I feel about Lily? She’s like a daughter to me, in a sense. And it’s time for her to leave the nest.