Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

I gave Jack my answer today.

It’s “Not yet.”  Or, “Yes, in a few years,” if you want to be a little more positive about it.  It all comes down to the same thing in the end, really.

I didn’t want to tell him no.  I didn’t tell him no.  I have no desire to actually outright reject him, but…  it’s not the right time.  And, well, he seems to know that as well.  He said his parents had a long talk with him, and, well, he thinks it’s not quite the right time either now.

I’m still his girlfriend.  I’m not going to be with anyone else.  And if he asks me at the right time, I’ll say yes, and I’ll say it without reservations.  But… it’s just not the right time.  it’s too much.  It’s not so much that we’re too young, it’s just that when we get married, when we finally get married, I want to actually be able to live with him.  Not get married or even engaged and then head off halfway around the world.  It just feels wrong to do that.

But I’m still sad.  Isn’t this, well, what every girl wants?  And I, well…  I turned it down.  For now, anyway.

Anyway, all us girls are still practicing our dances.  I’m still working with the choreographer and Yuki is helping them do limbering exercises and stuff.  Turns out Beth has a lot of natural grace, but Diana, well, doesn’t.  but Yuki thinks everyone can do it with a little practice.  Rebecca and the others have their tickets now and will be heading to Houston a week before, and, well, it’s going to be quite a spectacle, I guess.  It’s a once-in-a-lifetime kinda thing (for most of us, anyway), and I’d say I got my revenge pretty thoroughly.  They’re still a little, no, a lot, nervous about it.  But too bad!  They started it!!!  haha!!!

And… I have my ticket, along with Emiko and Yuki, to go to Japan.  It’s a one way ticket.  I guess I’m doing this.

The apartment I got in Japan is actually really nice.  I think Yuki and I will make a good life there.  For a while, anyway.  It’s got a nice bathtub, and tatami floors, and everything.  I took pictures and showed them to Yuki and she’s actually really happy with it.  I’ve already signed the lease but it won’t be ready for a little while – I’ll start shuttling stuff over there little by little when I get it.  But as I mentioned, a few things will either have to be shipped or delivered.  Yuki likes the idea of having some nice, fluffy futons, and they are comfortable.

Today…  Sabby told me she’s proud of me.

I think that meant more to me than almost anything else she’s ever told me.

Love you all!!! ❤️