Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!
You know what? I’m an idiot!!! And I’m not even Canadian!!!
(whose line is it anyway joke, not dissing Canadians. Blame Canada!!!)
Liz had her Birthday on July 4th, and I didn’t say anything!!!
She was off with her parents, so we celebrated low-key, I just gave her a present and told her happy birthday. Her parents wanted to spend some time with her, before she goes to college, so they had a special day on their own. And we all went to the park and played frisbee and stuff, so it just kind of slipped my mind.
Liz is important to me. I mean, very important to me. She was my first and best friend, and we’ve gone through a lot together. And if Jack and I ever get married, she’ll even be my cousin-in-law! And I actually wish I could have done more with her on her birthday, but it just didn’t work out. Sometimes these things just don’t work out. But I told her how much I love her, and, well… she’s okay. She knows. She doesn’t need a lavish party or an expensive gift to know. She knows I’d give my life for her if she needed it.
But she’d better not need it. Apparently, I can’t be killed, so that’s an empty promise anyway.
I don’t always talk about things that happen in my life here. Sometimes I don’t even talk about important things! But it’s almost always just because I forgot or had other things to talk about and wanted to keep my diary short. It’s already at, wow. 530,000 words? That’s a lot. I’ve done a lot of typing over the last three years or so.
I have a neat little word count plugin on this site I can use to see how many words it has. It’s not perfect but pretty accurate.
Wow. 530,000 words.
Anyway, yeah. I feel bad sometimes when I don’t talk about things I meant to talk about, but you know, I’m not perfect. I’m just Lily. An imperfect, only a little smart, sometimes really dumb and gullible eighteen year old girl… woman… girl-woman? I don’t know what to call myself. Technically I’m a woman but I don’t feel like one most of the time. I still feel like that fourteen year old girl who was sitting in an unfamiliar guest room crying her eyes out because she couldn’t even remember her name.
I’ve come so far over the past three years, but I’m still not perfect. My sisters know that about me. In fact, sometimes they’ll make jokes about how, well, not perfect I am. But they love me anyway, and that’s what matters. Sometimes they give me chocolate, sometimes they write me songs, sometimes they write me poems, sometimes they just look me in the eyes and tell me they love me, and sometimes… we make a girl pile and they snuggle up close, close their eyes, and we drift off to sleep with our arms around each other. Not often, and not that way, silly billies, it’s all about sisterhood, nothing else… but… they do love me. And even when they get boyfriends and husbands and children and grandchildren, they will still love me. And I’ll love them just as much.
There were a couple of times when one of them had a very nice dream, though. boy, did she get embarrassed when she woke up… but it’s okay. It’s not on purpose. That’s part of being human. And, well, at least we’re not boys. The things they tell me…
When Liz is afraid of storms, she tells me she feels safe when I’m with her. Crystal tells me she feels safe when I’m around. Beth says she feels like I’m her big sister and will always look out for her and protect her. Diana, well, she loves that I love her cooking. And all my other friends and sisters and relatives love me too.
I’m a lucky girl. Maybe I’m the luckiest girl in the world.
And you love me too!!!
Love you all!!! ❤️
From the creator:
While I’ve striven to keep this diary (at least when you don’t subscribe) PG-13 at the most, I’ve never shied away from exploring parts of teenage (and female) life that might be a little… embarrassing, or, well… indecent isn’t the right word. Human, maybe? When you come right down to it, people have embarrassing things happen sometimes, like when Lily lost her top at the waterpark, or when unnamed girls fart when in a girl pile, or have, well, really good dreams. It just happens.
There is an anime I really like called “Onimai”, and one of the things I like about it is exactly this. It explores what would happen if a 20 year old guy was turned into a middle school girl – and it plays it straight. There’s not a lot of fanservice, it’s not written to be fetish fuel, it’s played completely straight. A 20 year old guy turns into a middle school girl and has to learn about what that means. That’s all it is.
And a lot of things happen to her that would, well, actually happen to a middle school girl. Like something that happens a month after she turns. It’s not shied away from, but it’s played straight.
I don’t know how much I succeeded at that, but that’s what I’ve aimed for when writing this. At no point have I ever had any feelings for Lily or her friends that are anything but, well, parental. But, I tell the story as realistically as needed, and sometimes that means her top falls off and folks get a glimpse of her floppy bits, well, boobs. But that’s just part of being human. Sometimes you’re at the waterpark and your top falls off. Or sometimes you’re at a sleepover with your friends and something, well, embarrassing happens. That’s just life. Or so I’ve been told, anyway.
Now, the fact that there is a fanservice section of this site. That’s kind of a failed experiment, if we’re being honest. I didn’t set that up because I’m ecchi – I set that up because many other people are ecchi and I was hoping that would attract people to read. It didn’t work. And I don’t know why I expected any different. I may continue to populate it, and I may yet just delete it. Truth is, each one of the girls is anatomically correctly 3d modeled – they’ve got, well, all the stuff that an actual girl would, rendered properly. I don’t think anyone will ever see that but me, and even me only because I have to in order to create the models.
Lily is a young woman, and young women have embarrassing things happen, and sometimes do embarrassing things, because either they don’t know better or their hormones are raging and their bodies want nothing more than to grow a baby. It’s just a part of life. If I shied too far away from that, it wouldn’t be real. If I leaned too much into it, it would just be gross. It’s a hard line to tread. I hope I did an okay job.
Maybe I didn’t, but 530,000 words later, and I really did try.
A little over a month and this all ends.