Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!
It’s coming up fast, isn’t it? The next stage of my life.
It doesn’t feel like it’s been this short a time, does it? Or this long a time…
Jack’s been a little quiet lately. He’s himself, he’s not angry or acting out or anything, he’s himself and not putting on airs or fake smiles, he’s just… quiet. I think I hurt him. I didn’t mean to and it was never meant to be a permanent “no”, but… maybe that doesn’t really matter. Maybe I’d be hurt, too. But what else could I do? Say “yes” when I didn’t think it was the right time or the right reasons?
Maybe I should take him some food. Maybe I should make it myself. I’m not the best cook but I need to show him I still love him, I think. Because I do.
There are other ways, but, it doesn’t feel like a good time. Like I’m just buying him with my body. That’s not what bodies are for.
I don’t really know what to do. People don’t come with an instruction manual.
We’ve all got our reservations in Houston, which is nice. I’m going to stay with Emiko for the week with Beth, but the other girls are going to have to find their own way. They don’t mind. Miki wanted to let someone stay with her or one of the other idols, but there’s going to be camera crews around so that doesn’t really work. They’re going to do a mini-documentary, and also about us as well, so that’ll be interesting. Girls wanted to make me famous? Hahah!!!
Well… to be fair, they didn’t. It just kinda happened.
Crystal and Diana are going to hole up with Rebecca (Emiko doesn’t really want Rebecca staying over, and that’s understandable, she’s a reminder of wounds of the past), and the LA girls are going to get a room of their own, so it’ll all work out.
Emiko doesn’t hate Rebecca. Don’t get the wrong idea They get along alright. Emiko even asks about her sometimes. It’s just… there’s still some history there, and Emiko doesn’t want to be put in a position where she’ll take anything out on Rebecca.
Emiko’s not a bad woman. She just…. has her past, too.
We’re going to put Yuki’s and my big stuff into a crate and send it off to Japan this weekend. It’ll take a month or so to get there by boat, so… I’m going to buy some Japanese style furniture when I get there, but there’s still a few things we want to send along. Fortunately not a lot.
Hmm, what else… oh, Yuki might have something lined up when she gets there. there’s a prestigious voice acting school she wants to attend and when they found out it was her applying there was a lot of virtual bowing and “yoroshiku onegaishimasu” and “tuition? What tuition! Just let us use your name and image in our promotional materials” and, well, she’s going to learn how to voice act anime. That’s cool, really. she’s got a good and expressive voice, I think she’ll do well. She has the “huh?” down. Haha!!!
Heck, that sounds like fun. Maybe I’ll join her in my off hours.
Okay!!! Gotta go!!!