Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

I feel so low.  I don’t think I’ve ever felt quite this low before.

But at least I don’t have to worry about Liz… or Beth.

I went over to Liz’s house today (the normal way) and told her.  I think I was near tears when I did.  I’ve heard of panic attacks before, and I’ve never had one before… but this time, I came close.  Very close.

I sat down on her bed and she sat next to me, and I told her.  Pretty much everything.  I then asked her what kind of Japanese food she liked, and I went and got her some.  She likes dango, it turns out.  I was probably a mess when I bought them, the Japanese person behind the counter looked at me funny, but oh well.

Sometimes they look at any foreigner funny.

Anyway…  she sat there for a little bit and munched on her dango.  I could see the wheels turning, and then she looked at me.

“Is that all?”

That’s not… really not what I was expecting.  I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t that.

“Has anything ever been ordinary for you?  Don’t you think if I was going to leave because you’re a little weird, I’d have left a long time ago?”

Well…  that did it.  I just broke down.  I mean really broke down, red nose, tears flowing like a KyoAni anime, I completely lost it.  And all she did was carefully set down the rest of her dango, and hold me.

I don’t think I could have handled losing Liz.  She’s the closest thing to a real sister I have that, well, isn’t a real sister.  I couldn’t have dealt with that.  But about fifteen minutes later, I finally pulled myself together…  I must have been a mess.  No, I was a mess.

So we talked.  We talked for an hour.  I made sure she knows everything.  And she said again that she didn’t care, I’m Lily and she loves me for Lily, not for how normal or weird or whatever I am.  And she put my head on her chest and soothed me until I fell asleep.  Or at least dozed a little.

That was… maybe the most intimate time I’ve ever had with a girl.  No, silly-billies, nothing like that happened…  but some things transcend that, don’t you think?

She said I’ve comforted her when it was storming lots of times, it’s the least she can do.

But I’m still depressed.  I’ve got a whole bunch of other sisters to tell, and they might not be nearly as understanding.

Other than that brief excursion to Japan to get some dango for Liz, I didn’t go anywhere.  I was serious about not liking doing that.  It’s… actually a little traumatic, in a way.  Maybe I’ll get used to it.

I also told Beth.  Or at least told her formally (she did wonder where the okonomiyaki came from).  She said I’m still her sister, but I’d better get her snacks every now and then.

That’s Beth.  I wouldn’t expect any different.

So two down, quite a few more to go.  Ai and I talked it out a bit… she’s OK, she was just a little shocked.  She said when I come over next time I’d better bring her an American burger as a peace offering.  Sure, why not.

All my sisters love to eat…

Mrs. X also came over and we talked some more.  She’s changed subtly.  She used to be very formal and standoffish, or at least professional with a government bearing.  Now she’s being a little more motherly.  I guess she needed to keep it from me until it was time, and she couldn’t get too close.  She told me some stories about some of the trouble she got into – I guess it’s a temptation to do stuff you’re really not supposed to, and she got slapped down a few times.  She also told me which countries I should stay out of (the usual suspects, along with a surprise or two), and a few more rules that the treaties require.  Like, you know, don’t get involved in local politics, don’t smuggle stuff, don’t try to turn people against the government, etc.  Our role is “ministerial”, it seems, and as long as we stay in our lane it just is what it is.  They’d kind of prefer we didn’t exist, but there’s not a whole lot they can do about it, so they try to keep us regulated.  It seems our Boss allows that, as long as they don’t interfere with our core mission.

Whatever that is.

Mrs. X was a little cagey about that, she said all of our missions are a little different, and my job right now is to get used to it and come to terms with it, I’ll get my “marching orders” sometime in the future.

I get the idea that the governments weren’t always so sanguine about it, but our Boss is kinda powerful, and everyone came to something of an uneasy truce.

She told me about a couple of times when a government got a bit too uppity.  I’d heard about those events.  I thought they were natural disasters.  But it was made very clear to the government that they weren’t and there’s more where that came from, so we’re willing to play ball, they’d better as well.  After all, we don’t have to play by their rules.  We do by choice.  Well, the Boss’s choice, but still, by choice.  If we really wanted to we could topple governments, and pretty easily.  But that’s not why we’re here.

Well, most of the time.  I guess there were some folks in WW2 who were actively opposing moustache man.  Desperate times and all that.  But she made absolutely clear that if that situation ever occurs, we’ll be told, and to never, ever, ever take that into our own hands.

You remember those books I got Allison a long time ago?  “Support your Local Wizard?”  It kinda feels a bit like that.

I asked Mrs. X what the president is like.  She refused to talk about that, except to say that sometimes it’s very difficult to do her job when she has to be a babysitter for an elderly man.

Anyway…  I need to go.  I’m going to go talk to Miki.  I mean, literally, go talk to Miki.  I told her I was coming and I would explain when I get there.  She’s expecting me to fly.  Won’t she be surprised…

And maybe we’ll be fine, too.

I did tell Jack, btw.  He just shrugged.  “Some guys have psycho girlfriends, some have crazy girlfriends, some have dumb girlfriends… I just have one with a built in airline.”, he said.  He’s a keeper.  We need to have a long talk, though – this does change a couple of things.

Oh my God.  It changes a lot of things.  I didn’t even think of that.

Love you all!!! ❤️