One of the people from our church with the virus died today.
Obviously there won’t be a funeral. Dave and Sabby are very sad. They didn’t know the person well, but they talked every now and then.
The other person is still hanging on but isn’t doing well. Several other people from our church caught it, but they’re doing okay for now.
I don’t feel like writing now. Maybe I’ll be a happy Lily tomorrow. Tonight I’m thinking about death. And I don’t like it.
Hi! It’s me! Lily!
I had a hard time keeping my mind on school. I know! Me, right? Sweet, studious Lily? Pfft. Silly Billy Lily is more like it most days. But today I’m kind of sad.
I know I don’t know how things were pre-virus, but I know how they are now, and I hate to see how sad it makes Sabby. I mean, she tries to hide it, and she tries to live life normally, but I can see it wears on her sometimes. I think it wears on Dave, too, but differently. Beth can still see her friends and her life is about as normal as they can make it, but even she feels the impact sometimes. It’s like things will never get better, and every time it looks like it’s going to, something else hit.
So this morning I found Sabby making breakfast. I think sometimes she cooks to take her mind off things. And she’s a good cook! But her mind seemed elsewhere. So I walked up behind her, turned her around, and gave her a big hug.
“What’s that for?,” she said, seeming puzzled.
“You’ve been there for me when I’ve been sad,” I said. “And you seem sad. Can I be there for you?”
“I’m your -”
“You’re someone who needs to cry,” I said simply. And I felt her body start to shake. I was right. After a minute or two, she sniffled and wiped her eyes. “How did you know?,” she asked, turning back to breakfast.
“I know crying,” I said, “And I know when someone needs to cry. Particularly -“, I choked up a bit myself. “Particularly someone I love.”
“Oh Lily!”, she said, and scooped me up in the biggest motherly hug I could ever want. “Don’t ever change,” she sniffled. “Please don’t ever change.” She rubbed my head. “I need to finish breakfast.”
“Don’t hold it in,” I said. “You don’t have to be strong for me.”
“I do,” she said, simply. “If not for you, then for everyone else. I have to… be strong.” Her lip was quivering. “But I know what you’re trying to say. I don’t have to be strong all the time.”
I nodded. “You don’t. You just have to be my mother.”
I think our breakfast was seasoned with a few tears this morning. It was still delicious.
Love you all!!! ❤️
Hi! It’s me! Lily!
Lily is still a little sad today.
Last night, Dave and Sabby ordered dinner in. They knew the people who had the virus, and were a little sad themselves, so we didn’t go anywhere and Sabby didn’t feel like cooking. She did the dishes and went to bed early.
Life with the virus is kind of normal to me because I didn’t have any memories before, but it’s still sad to see how people are affected. A lot of people in my church didn’t want to get vaccinated, they had some good arguments and some bad arguments, but now several people are in the hospital fighting for their life. And for what? Sabby was very insistent that we get vaccinated – and my social workers made sure I got it too. I was a little sick for a while, but got over it.
So now we wait. We wait to see if other people at church get it, and we wait to see if these people recover.
I don’t understand life, but I hate death, and I hate the virus. I want to Lily-stomp it, like Sabby did to that Karen. But what are we to do? We’ll just live our lives as best we can and hope for the best.
I went to bed early too. Beth knocked on my door and asked if she could join me. She didn’t want to be alone. I let her. We snuggled up and said goodnight.
I was half asleep when I felt Beth shuddering. She was crying! Poor Beth. It’s been hard on her, this virus thing. So I just held her tighter and let her cry. Finally, she fell asleep.
I couldn’t, though. What else is going to happen to us? To the world?
At least she smelled nice. It was nice to finally fall asleep with the smell of her hair in my nose.
Today was just school. Beth gave me a hug this morning and thanked me for letting her cuddle me. I kissed her forehead and told her I love her. She smiled, and then went off to do her schoolwork.
Love you all!!! ❤️ And remember every day could be your last 🙁
Hi! It’s me, Lily!
But today it’s a thoughtful Lily.
Church was cancelled today. Apparently a couple of people ended up with the virus that’s going around, and they are seriously ill. They might die. It’s true they are older people, and no one else seems to have come down with it lately, but it’s still sad.
I don’t understand church, or God. I really don’t. I mean I go to church, and I listen to the message, and sometimes it’s a very nice message. They say that God loves us, they say that God saves us, they say that he even sent his son to save us. But then people come down with viruses and get sick or die. What kind of love is that? Why do they tell us that God loves us and then people suffer and get sick or get hurt or all that? I kinda sorta understand the argument that when someone hurts someone else it’s their fault. But viruses aren’t peoples’ faults. They just are, and they try to kill us, and God must have created them too, right?
So today, we’re home. We’re not “quarantined” yet because we didn’t have extended close contact, but we did have to go get a test. It was negative, thankfully. But it could have been positive. I know we’ve all been vaccinated, but I don’t want to lose Dave or Sabby or Beth or even David! It’s not fair!
Happy thoughts, Lily. Happy thoughts. But I don’t have many happy thoughts today. Maybe Dave taking us for driving practice will help me forget. Maybe. I guess I should shower.
Love you all!!! ❤️
Hi! It’s me! Lily! Finally!
OMG I can’t believe I missed a post yesterday! Everything was just so busy! So much schoolwork, and then homework, and dinner, and we had a movie night too! It’s all fun, but I had no time to post! I’m sorry! I’m a silly billy! I’m a horrible silly billy! Willy nilly silly billy Lily!!!
But I’m here now, and you can gaze upon my running suit clad, sweaty, smelly visage of awesomeness! How’s that for a big word??? I wish I knew how I learned them. I know so much stuff that I don’t know how I know.
OMG there’s going to be so much fun stuff this weekend! Dave is going to let Liz and I practice driving!!! And I’m going to try riding Sabby’s old bicycle. Maybe I already know how to ride and forgot! That would be fun!
I did learn a few Japanese words, though. Ohayou! That means good morning! Ohayou Ohayou! There’s another thing they add to it but I can’t spell it yet. goza.. gozee… don’t remember. I guess I’ll remember in time! Japanese is a hard language! The word for mother is okaasan! Sabby is my okaasan! And my teacher is sensei!
I thought sensei is just something you call someone teaching you karate, but no, it’s a teacher.
Liz tells me school is a bit boring without me. She is going to the school building, but has to wear a mask all day, and apparently half the school already had to go home because of contact with someone with the virus. I don’t know how they plan to make this work. It’s like no one knows what they’re doing – wear a mask, don’t wear a mask, vaccines work, vaccines don’t work, you don’t have to wear a mask, wear a mask again… it’s confusing. I’m tired.
Well, I need to shower, there’s much to do today. Liz and I are going to spend some time together too, and Beth and I too, and… so many people to spend time with! I need to spend some time with Sabby also. She’s so good to me. Maybe she’ll let me brush her hair! It’s way curlier than mine, I think it’s an ethnic thing, but I bet she’d enjoy it anyway. I’ll have to ask her.
Anyway, shower time! ppsssh ppsssssssssssh!!!! We’ll get all the sweaty smelly stuff off of me and then I’ll smell like fruit and shampoo and Lily! Bye bye!
Love you all!!!❤️
Hi! It’s me! Lily!
It’s been another busy busy busy day. I looked up how to say “busy” in Japanese. Isogashii. I’ve been so isogashii it’s not even funny! Our teacher has been teaching us so many things, it’s like I’ve already spent several weeks in regular class. So much math and science and history and other things as well. Beth seems so happy! David, well, not so much. He got used to slacking off a bit, and now Sabby’s riding his rear. He can’t even sneak in a computer game, Sabby’s right on top of it. It’s good for him! But don’t tell him I said that. I’m still not exactly his favorite person in the world.
He’s nine, though. I’m not offended. If he still hates me when he’s twenty, then we’ll have words.
Liz and I are missing each other because she’s still going to regular school, but she understands that it’s just how things are. We’ll spend lots of time together this weekend! We will! I haven’t shown Liz my car yet. She’ll be so jealous! But I’m sure she’ll get a car of her own as well. Her parents may be strict, but they’re not mean. Who knows, she might get a nicer one than me!
I mean, mine is nice, but it’s not new and it’s not luxury. I know you’re reading this, Sabby. I love it! I’m not complaining! But these things are still true. It’s not new, and it’s not luxury. Liz’s parents have plenty of space to one-up us. Sabby’s not one to “keep up with the Tangs” though, so Liz will like whatever car she gets, and I already love mine.
Dave promised to take me out to practice driving this weekend, and I’m inviting Liz along too – Dave is okay with this. But, he says, on Friday we have to go to the liquor store and stock up. Like I said, he never drinks, but I guess after putting two inexperienced teenage girls in the driver’s seat, he’s willing to take one for the team. He’s also going to show us how to do basic car maintenance. Change a tire, change the oil, the appropriate hand gestures for when we’re cut off… KIDDING! But where I live, people drive completely insanely, so…
I told Liz to be ready to get dirty. So maybe she’ll wear one of her old Prada skirts and one of her ratty cashmere sweaters. Haha! Kidding, Liz! Sweatpants are the order of the day for that, I think.
I have to think about what kind of job I want to look for. Dave tells me that now is a really good time to look for a job, because no one wants to work. How does that work?? But maybe this weekend I’ll apply for a part time job. Of course, school takes priority, but I need to pay for insurance and driving lessons! When did I become so… normal??
Normally I’d apply for fast food, but I think since jobs are so plentiful right now I’ll try to find something a little more interesting. We’ll see how that works! Maybe I’ll work in a bakery, like dog-girl!
I learned another Japanese word too! Sayonara!
Love you all!!! ❤️
Hi! It’s me! Lily! BUSY Lily!
So now that school’s started, I’m just going every which way. The teacher Sabby hired isn’t letting us slack on everything, and she’s teaching us stuff much faster than she would teach a public school student. I’ve got sooooo much homework! But is it homework if I’m being taught at home anyway? Or is it just work? Sabby isn’t the best at math, but that turns out to be something Dave is really good at. But why would that surprise me? He’s a structural engineer! He’d better be good at math!
So we’re studying math and science and all sorts of other stuff, and it’s hard work, but fun.
After dinner, Dave is going to go take me to practice driving some more. He also tells me I need to get a job soon, but he’s going to make sure I know how to drive first. It’s a long process, but better start now, he says. I’m okay with that. Driving is fun. Or at least looks fun. It also looks hard!
I still need to find some time to learn how to stream and make YouTube videos. Maybe my teacher knows someone who can help!
Well, gotta go. Short entry today, but there’s so much to do! Sabby just said dinner is ready and I’m starving! Well, not really, but… okay. Gotta go!
Love you all!!! ❤️
Hi! It’s me! Lilly! Silly billy Lily!
OMG what a busy day! I didn’t even get a chance to write here until this evening! I woke up and went for my run, and then Sabby told me that school was going to start promptly at 8, and chop chop! So I took a shower and got on zoom, and got to know our teacher! She is going to teach us so much! She told us to forget about all of the stuff that school was teaching, it was useless anyway, here’s some math lessons! She made it fun!!! We’re going to also use one of those online sites that teaches visually, and, well, I’m going to learn so much this year!!!
She’s a little strict, but at least I’m getting individual attention!!!
So at lunchtime Sabby ordered pizza! She said we deserved a pizza! I don’t know why, but I love pizza! It’s so oooey and gooey and delicious and… and greasy. Eww. But it’s good as a treat! I like hawaiian pizza, but everyone else hates it. She still bought me one! I love Sabby!
So in the afternoon, I found out that Sabby hired me a Japanese teacher! Oh wow! I can’t wait, this will be fun! We’ll chat once a week and she’ll give me homework!
It’s time for dinner now. Since we had something heavy for lunch, it’s a light dinner. That’s okay, I’m still so excited! We’ll eat dinner, and then I’ll do homework, and then Beth and I will brush each others’ hair, and… and… squeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!
Love you all!!! ❤️
Hi! It’s me! Lily! Vroom vroom!
Well, it was a day, I guess. I went to church with my family, and the pastor actually announced that I’d been officially adopted! It was a bit embarrassing because I was rocking out on my headphones and didn’t even hear him. Finally sabby jabbed me in my side, and I jumped and squealed. My headphones fell off and everyone was chuckling. The pastor just said something like “I guess the spirit’s moving today,” and everyone started laughing. Except me. I was beet red.
But lots of people I didn’t even know congratulated me, so that’s nice. I don’t really get church, honestly, but it’s nice that they at least try to be friendly and supportive. So many hugs and handshakes, so much hand sanitizer…
You’d think they’d be a bit more careful, but they just seem to have the attitude of “if I go, I go”, and I guess it could be worse. I’m not sure I’d ever want to entirely give up hugs, though we came pretty close when I was found.
After I got home I spent some time with Liz. She seemed a bit more pensive than usual, and I asked her what was wrong. You know, Liz isn’t all that expressive, right? So it kinda shocked me when she jumped at me, glomped me, and started crying. I was about as confused as Dave usually is, so I just hugged her and asked her what was wrong.
Well, this is a public diary, so I’m not going to tell, so nyah.
But we talked for a long time, and I forgot how nice it was, just spending time with her. With all the stuff going on I’d forgotten. She really is a sweet soul. A bit hurt by life, but a sweet soul. And I love her.
She wanted me to stay for dinner, so I checked with Dave and Sabby… no, my parents… omg! And they said it was alright. Liz’s parents are distant, but nice. They are very big on what’s proper, and don’t really like it when people deviate from that. So we don’t talk much at the table. I did learn to use chopsticks, though, so that’s nice. After dinner, Liz and I went up to her room and we brushed each others’ hair and talked for a while. It was nice.
But Liz starts school again tomorrow (and so do I, but differently) so I went home relatively early. I guess today we’ll find out how school’s going to work. It might be interesting.
Love you all!!! ❤️
Hi! It’s me! Lily!
Umm… I’ve never been at a loss for words before. I’ve been happy, I’ve been bubbly, I’ve been excited, I’ve been… everything. But never speechless.
It started as a normal day. I was going to spend some time with Liz and maybe Beth, play on the computer, maybe go to a museum. I didn’t have any concrete plans. Around noon, Dave yelled at me to come down, there was something going on in the driveway and they needed my help.
I was confused – what could possibly be going on in the driveway that needed my help? Did Dave have a pressure-washing accident? I wouldn’t put it past him, that clumsy silly billy. ❤️
So I went downstairs and opened the front door and there was a car in the driveway! And it had a bow on it!
I walked out, trying to figure out what was going on, and Sabby yelled “Surprise!” and handed some keys to me.
“What?,” I asked, eruditely.
“It’s yours!,” she said, beaming. “For when you get your license, of course. But -“
She didn’t get to finish. I power-glomped her. I think I got a running start. I even backed up a bit. I ran at her, wrapped my arms and legs around her, and started bawling. She laughed and told me to get down, her back couldn’t take it.
I then glomped Dave as well, and he patted me on the back. He seems confused sometimes when I glomp him and start crying, but that’s life with a girl, you big ol’ loveable silly billy you!
They told me I’d have to get a job to pay for upkeep and gas, etc., they would help me out with some of the initial costs but I had to do the oil changes and stuff. I didn’t care, I was sooo happy. It’s not that they got me a car, it’s that they got me a car!!! Dave even said he’d teach me how to change the oil!!! I’m not really the most mechanical person, but it sounds fun!!! Lots of things to learn!!!
It’s not anything fancy. It’s one of those reliable older cars without many frills, but it is nice and has all of the necessities – AC (we need that here!), power windows, even a sunroof! Sabby made me promise never to stand up and stick my head through.
I can’t drive it yet. I have to get all my papers and then get a license and stuffs. But I have a car! I can’t believe it!
Dave and Sabby are the best! And not because they buy me things! Because they want to buy me things!
Beth made me promise to take her places. I told her I would, but not every time she asked. She seemed happy with that. She wants to go to the big library downtown and she doesn’t get many chances to.
I’m going to take a shower, then sit behind the wheel and pretend to drive! Vrooom vrooom! Then we have to go to church, but I’m going to spend the afternoon with Liz. Liz time is important, and more so now than ever.
Love you all!!! You virtual silly billies you!!! ❤️. I’m gonna hug you and love you and squeeze you until the end of time! (I’ve been reading Beth’s book so I know when that is now!)