Category: Diary

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

I’m pregnant!!

Well, no.  But April Fools was yesterday, and what’s the best April Fools prank than one not on April Fools?  …  that sounded better in my head.  Sabby will probably kill me for that.

Besides, you saw how I was when I was actually scared of that.  I wasn’t nearly this flippant.

Speaking of pregnant, Anathema wants me to be one of her bridesmaids.

I don’t know what a bridesmaid is.

I’ve never even seen a bridesmaid.

All the stuff I’ve seen on the net means they have to wear hideous outfits and do everything the bride says.

But Anathema doesn’t seem to care about all that.  She’s not even really interested in a fancy dress and all that stuff.  She says “I’m pregnant, I don’t even really know who the father is, why the heck would I wear white?”  Well, she used a slightly stronger word.  All she really wants is Joe and a nice memory, and she says she can get a nice memory without making everyone else do everything she says so she can have her special day.

… she really has changed.

So if I just have to support her, well, I can do that.  I’ve been doing it already, anyway.  She and Katie have been talking a lot too.  Katie’s baby is like, what, a year old now?  So she has a lot of experience at babies.  Heck, we all do, she brings little Sabrina over every now and then for us to babysit.  I don’t talk about it much because it’s so… well… common now.  She’s toddling around like a mad-girl and getting into everything.  Cat hates her.  Marie loves her.  She’s not great at throwing the ball, but, she does throw the ball.  And Marie’s very easy to please.

Besides, I’ve had so many other things to talk about and my posts get long enough as it is, without tossing a baby into the mix.

Katie’s letting Anathema babysit sometimes.  She took some convincing because she remembered how Anathema is, but we told her the story of how Anathema came to change, and, well., Katie’s not an awful person.  And Anathema does have a reputation.  But after giving Anathema some baby classes, she’s doing fine.

I wouldn’t want to be the guy that gave her the baby, though.  She gets this glint in her eye when she talks about finally being able to get that DNA test.  I’d say poor guy, but, well, he’s nowhere to be found, so…  yeah.  Throw the child support book at him.

I asked Miki how she felt about that concert, you know, with the bunny suits.  She just shrugged and said “the otaku pay for my chicken nuggets and matcha cookies.  Least I can do is show them a fluffy tail.”

Can’t argue that… I guess.  And while the bunny suits are sexy, they’re actually not very revealing, really.  Well, surprisingly so, anyway.

Anyway…  I practiced a lot today.  First rehearsal with the orchestra is next week.  I hope it goes well.

Love you all!!! ❤️

HI! It’s me! Lily!!!

I’m pregnant!!!

Hahaha!!! I’m not!  April fools!  I didn’t have time to think of something fun so that’s about all I could come up with.

Sabby got a little mad at me for posting anyway.  She says sometimes I skip nights, so it wouldn’t have mattered if I skipped a night.  I said it really didn’t matter, and she kind of ran off and slammed the door.  She hasn’t taken a bath because of me in a while.  She didn’t even go off on me, she just turned around without a word.

I think that hurt worse.

Finally she came in my room, and told me something like “You’re sad because you’re going to have a lot of lasts, how do you think I feel?”

And now I feel awful.

I mean, this was the last Easter we’ll spend together for a while.  And that’s what Sabby was protecting.  We made up, but I guess I need to be a little more careful.

Sabby offered to cater Joe and Anathema’s wedding.  She can’t offer gourmet food, but she can make the cake and some sweet treats.  They accepted gratefully.  They really don’t want anything fancy, just something meaningful.  And that’s good, because Sabby and I can only afford so much.  But we’re not in disagreement about any of it.

Sabby and I rarely have those kinds of issues with the business.  Yeah, we disagree sometimes, but each of us knows that the other has the best interests of the business at heart, so we work through it.  I haven’t been able to spend all that much time there lately, though, and I’ll probably become a “silent” partner by the time I go to Japan, but Sabby’s pretty competent, it’ll work out.

We had a really nice feast yesterday, after we went to church, and…  it was a nice day.  Even if I did piss off Sabby.  Today, though…  I just practiced.  A lot.  I have to make up for lost time.

Miki had an Easter concert.  In typical Japanese style, they didn’t mention “He is risen” or have a cross or anything like that, but they did dress up in bunny suits (you know, the moderately ecchi kind that are skin tight leotards, fishnets, and bunny ears with a puffy tail) and ran around the stage collecting eggs.  I saw a video.  It was somehow cute and hot all at the same time.  Which, I guess…  that’s Japanese idol culture for you.

It got really funny when two idols found the egg at the same time and started fighting over it…  let’s just say the producer wasn’t to anxious for them to stop, all that was missing was pudding…

Hah.

Anyway, I gotta go.  Much to do this week.  And some storms are fixin’ to come…

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Tonight we’re having a family night because it’s Easter Sunday, so Sabby doesn’t want me to write tonight.

I guess I understand.

See y’all tomorrow!!!

PPPBBBTTT Sabby!  I wrote anyway!  HhaaahaEEEPP LET GO OF MY EAR

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

And I’m still a bit annoyed with Sabby!!!

But…  I guess I understand.

I asked her about it.  Well, more accurately, I told her to sit down and spill.  She got that “don’t talk to me that way” look on her face, but I wasn’t going to back down on this one.  That’s important.

Finally she sighed and told me the story.

Yes, she was a rocker chick.  A drummer rocker chick.

Apparently that was one of the things that fueled her, well, lifestyle, when she was young.  She picked up the drums for much the same reason that Crystal picked up the guitar – insecurity, popularity, well, you know.  And it did make her popular.

But when she met Dave, she gave it up.  She gave up the lifestyle and if she kept drumming it would be a lot harder to leave it.  And then she just kind of… became ashamed of it.  She hasn’t told many people up until now.

And then she, well, turned the tables on me.  She read last night’s blog post, and told me I was being stupid for thinking they don’t need me anymore.  She said that the reason you need someone, I mean really need someone, isn’t because of what they can do for you, but it’s because you need them.

I guess she’s right.

It’s still difficult.

Anyway, in other news, Joe popped the question to Anathema.  Can you believe it?  He’s being really careful, though.  It’s not that he doesn’t trust her, it’s more that she has done a lot in her life that makes it difficult to trust her, but they’ve been talking about that at length lately.  And, well, I guess she convinced him, because he gave her a ring and everything.  But he said if she goes back to her old behavior, they’re through.  It’s not because he wants to tell her what to do, so much as that’s something she resolved to do, and he loves the Anathema he knows now, but doesn’t love the Anathema we all used to know.

That’s fair.  She thinks so too.

Yes, it’s the same Anathema, but the old one was destructive.  Even she knows that.

I guess I might have a wedding to attend, if it happens before I leave for Japan.  It might, they want to have the wedding before the baby is born.

It’s not his baby, per se, but…  he doesn’t want it born without at least a father figure.

Oh…  as expected, the performance last night popped up on LINE.  I guess there’s someone who attends all the bands hoping something Japanese happens.  Beth isn’t famous, but there were a few comments saying she did very well for a gaijin, etc.  She’s preening a little.  I hope it doesn’t go to her head.  She’s not like that, but that’s also a bit new to her.

And, of course, Yuki.  All’s going to plan.  I guess the idols are going to show up sometime next month and they’ll do a lot of rehearsals, a few with the symphony too.  Yuki can’t pay them, but they will get a bit of a stipend so they can pay for travel, see the sights and all that.  I guess they’re pretty happy with that.

So…  let’s see.  Next month… the eclipse (the glasses arrived a few days ago, YAY), Jack’s prom, the symphony concert…  and who knows what else.  Busy!

Jack and I would have gone out but Easter’s tomorrow and we’re all doing sunrise services.  Awww..  Guess I’d better get to bed.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

I don’t know whether to hug or choppu Beth!!!  THAT GIRL!!!

So here’s what happened.

We practiced a little today, and made sure we were all warmed up, then changed into our “rocker” outfits (Crystal is HOT) and went over to the shop.  There were a couple other bands lined up for tonight too, but we were near the beginning.

So…  When it came our turn, we got on stage, tuned our guitars, and did a decent job.  People clapped politely, there wasn’t a lot of screaming or anything, but no one seemed upset, which is good.  We played a couple of our original songs.

Then Beth told me to stand up, and Sabby took my place.  SABBY!!!  Miss “I don’t know how to play anything” Sabby!!!  She grabbed the drumsticks, twirled them around, and just smirked at me.

Well, that shocked me enough, but then Liz came up and plugged a keyboard in.  Well, that’s not too much of a surprise, really, she’s not a pianist like me but she’s had enough lessons that she can find her way around a keyboard if she wants.

Then Beth said “I’ve been keeping this from Lily, my big sister over here, all week.”  Then she handed me a comically large box of tissues, like in my birthday “convention”.  “We’ve been practicing in secret all week.. Well, sort of secret, because we’ve just been kicking her out and telling her to eat some chocolate and leave us alone.”

Everyone laughed.

“So…  here you are, Lily.”

Sabby clicked her drumsticks together, and they started playing “U & I”.  You know, from K-on.  I heard those first few notes and, well… opened the box of tissues.

I was kind of a mess by the time they were done…  If you don’t know, “U & I” is kind of a love song between sisters.  In the K-On anime, Yui wrote it for her little sister Ui after Ui took care of her when she was sick.  But I knew what to do… I clapped hard, and said “You guys aren’t very good, are you?”

Everyone who’s seen K-on laughed.  Which isn’t a lot of people in the audience.  But no one seemed to care because I glomped her right after I said that, and didn’t really let her go.  “Can’t… breathe…”, she said, and the mic picked it up.  The audience giggled.

Then we all said our thanks and got off the stage, to slightly more enthusiastic than polite applause.  I needed to cry anyway.  OMG.

Sabby playing the drums was not the only notable thing.  Beth sang the song in perfect Japanese.  I know she doesn’t speak Japanese, at least not well, so she had to learn it phonetically.  That’s… not easy at all.  That’s almost as impressive as Crystal picking up the guitar as fast as she did.  I’ve been teaching her diction, but she wasn’t that good two weeks ago.

I… feel conflicted.  I love Beth for that.  I mean, I really love Beth for that.  It was the best, most wonderful love song anyone’s ever sang to me, and I know she was singing it to me as well.  But I’m conflicted…  they did that without me.  They found the song (well, we did watch K-On), Beth learned the lyrics, Crystal learned the guitar, Sabby learned the drums… everyone learned that… and didn’t need me.  At all.

I’ve kind of been the glue holding our group of sisters together ever since that group formed.  That’s not just my ego, it’s a fact, and my sisters have told me that over and over again.  That it wouldn’t be the same without me.  I love them so much, and they love me too… and they don’t need me anymore.

I’m going to go to Japan for school, their lives will go on, and they won’t need me.  They don’t need me.  I’m…  I’m not the glue holding all the sisters together anymore.  They don’t need me for that.  They…  don’t really need me for anything.

But the song Beth sang was all about how much she needs me.  And she had to know that, I mean, she didn’t pick the song because it sounded nice.  She knew what it meant.  So she was telling me how much she needed me, all the while showing me how much she doesn’t need me.

We’re all growing up.  I should be happy about that.  I am happy about that.  But…  it hurts a little, too.  Well, it hurts a lot.  When I go to Japan… will anyone remember me?  Will it be like when I was found on the side of the road, and didn’t know who I was, and the only people who did weren’t telling?

Anyway…  tomorrow, I’m going to corner Sabby and make her tell me why she was hiding the fact that she could play drums so well from me all this time.  I mean, she was good.  It wasn’t like she spent the last two weeks practicing and got that good.  That was years of experience.

In those wild years she was telling me about… was she a rocker chick?

I guess I can understand why she’d want to leave all that behind, but…  why now?

I don’t want to seem ungrateful.  I really don’t.  Everyone tried their hardest to give me a nice surprise.  And it was nice.  I loved it.  I love Beth and Crystal and Diana and Liz and Sabby for doing it.  And now I just want to stare at a wall and cry.

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Lots of practicing going on right now.  Me for my concert, the band for, well, its concert tomorrow, and Liz and Beth have to get their time in too.  Hopefully this quiets down soon.

I did have a meeting with the conductor and played through my piece.  He says it still needs some work but it’s coming along really well, and he wants to start practicing with the actual orchestra next week.  That’s pretty cool.  I hope I don’t screw up too badly.

Today we went shopping and got clothes for our performance tomorrow.  You know us girls, we love shopping for clothes.  Crystal wanted us to go wild, but I put my foot down and said that I wanted to wear something I wouldn’t be ashamed to see plastered all over LINE, because, let’s face it, chances are high it will be.  Crystal backed down on that, she forget I was semi-famous in Japan. So we got some edgy t-shirts and skirts that are a little shorter than all of us are comfortable with, but not so short that Sabby told us to stop slinging parts from one side of the room to the other.  It’s a pretty good compromise.  I don’t usually wear short skirts, but I made an exception for this time.  Even Jack didn’t mind, and he can get a bit prickly when I wear stuff that’s too revealing.

So, well, tomorrow’s our concert.

Beth’s been kicking me out of the practices for about half an hour everyday.  It’s truthfully getting a bit annoying, but she’s throwing chocolate at me, so I can’t be too mad.  Sabby’s being a bit cagey too, I wonder what’s going on.

Oh well.

I might post late tomorrow.  Our concert is tomorrow and then there’s an afterparty of sorts, and…  well…  might as well enjoy it because it’s all ending soon.  Right?

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

MEIJI ACCEPTED ME!!!

I wasn’t expecting it to be that fast.  But, they’d already interviewed me, and I guess the fact that I’m “train onee-chan” kind of was a tick in my favor.   I…  I guess I’m going to Japan this fall.

I’m happy.  But….  but I’m not.

I guess they’re going to send an orientation packet, and a few other things, and all that kinda stuff.  Thankfully, there’s very little I have to do actually in Japan, so I’ll just fly there when it’s time.  I guess I have some visa stuff to do with the Japanese government too, and… and…

and…

and I’m going to Japan.

I’m happy.  I should be happy.  This is what I wanted.  I…  then why am I crying?

I told Jack, too.  He…  he’s taking it well.  Better than me, I guess.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

I still don’t know what Beth’s up to, but she’s really preparing for something.  The girls came over this evening so we could practice, and then after a while she kicked me out again.  Awww.

Oh well, I went to get a chocolate shake, she even threw money at me so I’d go, so… win-win, I guess.  Maybe I should be upset.  I’m not, though.  I don’t know why.

Otherwise, I’m going back to practicing, but not quite as intensely as before.  I mean, I’ve got it memorized, I can play it through, it’s not like I’m not going to be prepared.  So I’ll be alright I guess.

Sabby promised she’d take me to the waterpark after my concert.  SCORE.

Anyway… ummm… nothing else big going on.  Just the usual stuff.  Practice, school, other practice, even more other practice (Liz has her concert coming up too), and…  ummm…  yeah.  Just a lot going on, and most of it musical.

Wonder how that happened?

Oh well.

I think it started with Bocchi the Rock.  Crystal got inspired, and, well…

Sigh.

Oh, it turns out, everyone else forgot if we made a band name, so we just took a bit of time and thought of a new one.  We’re “Crystal and the Rockiest Rocking Rockers that ever Rocked in Round Rock”.  But we just abbreviated it to “Crystal’s Rocking Rockers”.  None of us care that she gets top billing.  It’s pretty much her band right now anyway.  We all just did it for her.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Beth kicked me out today!! Awww!!!

The girls came over for our weekly practice and we were doing some practice, then after an hour she told me to get out and go to the mall or something, there’s something she wants to surprise me with.

Awww.

Is there anyone else who can play the drums?  I guess we’ll find out.

So I went to the mall or something.  When I came back she was looking really satisfied with herself, but I guess we’ll find out.  She wants to book next weekend at the shop/venue for a concert…  but I guess we’ll see what she’s cooked up.

All the other girls weren’t telling me a thing. AWWWW.

Anyway, I trust Beth, she won’t do anything too embarrassing.  I almost said she won’t do anything embarrassing, but then, I’m not a minor celebrity in Japan (and at anime conventions) because she wouldn’t do anything embarrassing…

She wanted to practice “Idol” too.  Girl’s really gotten good at singing.  I mean, she’s not professional, but I’d feel comfortable on a stage with her.

She’s gotten okay at guitar, too.  Nowhere near Crystal levels, but she can strum out a few chords, so she’d be okay at rhythm guitar.  I guess she goes over to Crystal’s house sometimes after school and practices with her.  If we were to Bocchify our roles, I’d be Nijika, Beth would be Kita, Crystal would be Bocchi, and Diana would be Ryo.  I have no idea how they managed whatever they were doing without a drummer, but…  Beth wouldn’t have looked so self-satisfied if she didn’t have that covered…

Diana’s getting a little more into the band stuff.  It’s still not her first choice, but I think she likes spending time with her friends and making music.

Oh… and Crystal keeps improving by leaps and bounds.  At this rate she’s going to be a top-rated guitarist in a couple of years.  How she pulled that one off, I don’t know, but I admit… I had discounted her.  Maybe she’s found her calling.

Anyway… Sabby’s booked us, for better or for worse.  I guess I’m going to have to make sure to have brushed up on the drums, too, amongst everything else.  Oh well.  Of all of us, I have both the easiest and most difficult job, so I think it’ll be okay.

Next Friday night!  Come see us!  … come to think of it, did we ever actually name our band?  Hah!!!  If we did, we’ve never really used it, so I genuinely forgot.  I should ask the girls.

Oh, ummm…  dangit.  We have to talk costumes.  Maybe Anathema can hook us up.  I refuse to wear anything too rocker chick though.  Torn leggings and knee high boots…  okay.  Jean skirt and tube top… okay.  Temporarily dyed hair… eh, but okay, I guess.  KISS style makeup and leather body?  NO.

Sabby would kill me, anyway.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Beth had a surprise birthday party today!!!

My job was to keep her busy.

So she and I had a sister spa day.

I took her to the spa and we had a massage and all that good stuff… and then she came home and, well… got surprised.

Girl burst into tears and started blubbering about how much she loved everyone.

Her best friends came over, but also her singing teacher, my other sisters, Jack and family, Anathema and Joe, and Emiko and family came over too!!!

(i haven’t seen Emiko in a while so it was nice to catch up)

She had a very big chocolate cake and lots of presents.  Lots of books as well, but Sabby also told her she’s getting good enough that she can perform something at the shop soon!

She had a really good time.  She says she doesn’t feel any different now that she’s seventeen (on Monday) but that she’d better get cracking on finding a boyfriend.  Dave looked a little sick at that, and she just smirked.  She knew what she did!!!

In other news, Miki’s coworker wanted to chat with me about how to practice to get better.  Apparently Miki has been showing the video of me performing that Schumann concerto to everyone who’ll watch, and they’re really impressed.  They all seem to be of the opinion that while they’re more famous and better at being idols, that I’m by far the better musician.  I don’t know if they’re right, but I guess they might be?  So I just told her to practice a lot, find people who can teach her what she doesn’t know, and be sure to take breaks.

Japanese people can be very bad at taking breaks, sometimes.

I’m actually a little surprised she’d ask.  Apparently, while they get training, most of what they do is “sink or swim” – they get taught basic strength training and the things they need to be idols, but not so much the things they need to excel at being idols, or the things that might help them springboard their career.  They’re on their own for that.  The Japanese idol industry isn’t… great… sometimes.

All the girls are over now, we’re full of chocolate cake and are whittling down what’s left (it was a big cake, Sabby had baker make it and spared no expense), and everyone’s kinda rubbing their belly and in a sugar haze.  Anathema has the night off (last night was the big concert night so tonight’s more laid back), so she’s here too and giving makeup and beauty tips to Beth.  I guess that’s her present.  She’s darn good at it, though, and all the girls are listening very, very intently.

Sugar hazes are the best kind of haze to be in, I guess.

Whoever Beth eventually ends up with is going to be a very lucky guy.

This…  might be the last birthday I get to celebrate with Beth for a few years.

I…  I…  oh damn it.  Damn it all.

Love you all!!! ❤️