Category: Diary

Hi! It’s me! LILY!!!!!

Older Lily!!!!

Bet you weren’t expecting to hear from me!!!

I just thought I’d post.  I know a few of you grew fond of me, so I thought I’d tell you how things are going.

Answer:  Pretty good, actually.

Yuki and I are living together, and it’s going alright.  She can be a bit of a slob and I’m a bit of a neat freak, but we work it out.  She’s got a job as a voice actor now!!!  Apparently she was a good fit for “Reincarnated into another world as an iPhone, and I’m Siri”.  I asked her if she was sure she wanted to voice such a stupid-sounding anime, but she just shrugged and said “work is work”.  I’ve seen her perform a couple of times, and she does a really good job!!!  She’s got that “huh?” down!! Haha!!!

She wants a bit part in another better anime, like “Love! Live” someday, but says this will do to get her foot in the door.  The Japanese corporate world is brutal.

Anyway, as for me, I’m studying to be a teacher, but I took a part time job at a local konbini.  I figured it was a good way to practice my Japanese and make sure my trust fund doesn’t get too depleted.  It doesn’t pay great but I get to eat lots of Japanese food.  Yuki’s got an unexpected talent for cooking, I was surprised!!! She makes really good Japanese dishes!!!  I just gave to pick up the ingredients, and she cooks up a storm.

Let’s see, how is everyone else.  Jack and I are still together.  He comes to Japan about once a month to work, and we visit each other when he’s here.  I go there every now and then too, but he understands why I want to keep that to a minimum.  He’s actually really popular!  He gets confessed to every time he comes here, and he blushes and gently but firmly tells them to pound sand.  A couple of girls went yandere on him, but I just made it be known I’ve knocked people out before, and they back off.  Thankfully.

The “after school friends idol light music club” is humming along, but they’re going in a different direction – they’re still idols, but they started to take their music and performing more seriously, and their producer went along with it.  So less cute, more skill.  I’m proud of them, especially Miki!!!  They’re pretty popular, Miki also gets confessed to quite a lot, but she tells them all to pound sand too.  Not only is it against the rules, it’s against the rules for good reason.  She says “I’m everyone’s Miki!”  They actually split off into a couple of subgroups.  She does more of the bog standard jpop, but the other subgroup does metal.  Which is kinda… strange to see, but pretty cool.

How bout the girls back home…  Crystal’s band’s actually become somewhat popular locally!  They’re playing on sixth street now, and have a pretty loyal following.  And she has a girlfriend too!!!  I…  didn’t see that one coming, honestly, but she seems pretty nice and grounded.  I don’t know how long it will last, but she seems happy enough.  Her girlfriend is accepting of her past, but she also doesn’t put up with crap, and Crystal seems to appreciate that.  She’s a lot like me, actually.

Crystal needs nice and grounded in her life.  Sometimes Crystal gets a little stupid and all it takes is a dirty look and something whispered in her ear, and she calms right down and gets all cuddly.  It’s actually kind of hilarious.  She’s so tsundere sometimes.

I’m still not, well, sure about her, but I guess I can see why she’d go for girls.  It’s not like the men in her life treated her very well, honestly.

Diana is, well, still Diana.  Cooking up a storm and being the rock of the group in my absence.  She wants to go to culinary school when she graduates, and I think that’s a teriffic idea.  The world needs Diana’s cooking.  Beth is applying to a music school, she wants to be a professional singer.  Sabby’s not too happy with that because she’s got such promise in science, but she says that she can get a science education anytime.  Probably true, but I don’t really know what she’s thinking.  I hope she doesn’t regret that decision.  But I love music and Beth, so I support her.

Everyone else is just humming along.  I’d say Dave’s got a promotion, but he owns the darn company, so I’ll say instead his business is going really well and he’s got lots of new clients.  Crystal’s father rose in the ranks too, and he’s Dave’s right hand man now.  I guess they’re doing pretty well.  Sabby’s still running the shop, and we had to hire a few more people.  Katie is now general manager, and we’ve got several bakers.  Everyone got a raise recently, so they’re really happy.  We’re also attracting a lot of good bands (including Crystal’s) so lots of folks come around to listen to music and buy food.

Anathema’s still deliriously happy with Joe and her baby, so… I’m glad.  She’s really turned it around.  I’m proud of her.

Hmm, what else.  Oh, there was an election recently!!!  I’ll not say much about that, but to say I’m glad I’m in Japan.  Japanese people seem to like the guy who won (well, mostly) so there’s not a lot of stupid crap like there is in America right now.  I never did tell you which of Dave and Sabby are Democrat, did I?  Well, you can probably guess.  It’s okay, they still love each other.

Well, I gotta head to college.  Yuki’s gotta head for work, so we’re going to head for the train together.  Those trains get crowded around rush hour!  Someone tried chikan on me once, and, well, he got pulled off the train by the police and nursing a couple of broken teeth.  I didn’t get in any trouble, thankfully, but I’d rather avoid that if at all possible.  Yuki feels safe when traveling with me, so I try to keep her company as much as I can.

I’ll post more!!!

Love you all!!!! ❤️❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

This will be the last entry in this diary.  I’m sitting at the gate in the airport and the plane’s going to board soon.

I’m excited and nervous and anxious and happy and sad and… and…  I’m everything.  Every emotion I’ve ever had or could have is warring inside of me right now.  I’m going to miss everyone but I’m going to make new friends and…  and I’ll come back to Round Rock a different person… maybe a better person.

I’ve written in this diary for three years.  I’ve shared with you the ups, the downs, the victories, the sadnesses… everything I am, everything I’ve done, everything I want to be… I’ve shared with you.  You know me as well as any of my friends… well, I’ve never told you what kind of pajamas I wear….  alright, alright…  I wear pink frilly pajamas with a satiny feel and short frilly sleep-shorts.  No unicorns.

Or…. am I joking?  You’ll still never know, you silly-billies.

But I might not be.  It does seem like something I’d wear, right?  They’re nice and cool, don’t reveal too much, and, well…  I guess the cat’s out of the bag, huh?  But I won’t tell you about my underwear!  Some things need to stay secret!!!

Anyway, you know me as well as any of my friends, mostly…  and I’ve never once regretted sharing any of this with you.  I don’t know who you are, and I’ve never met you, and I wouldn’t even know you if I did… but you’ve always been my biggest fans and I love you for that.

I have a few regrets, but not many.  I’ve lived my life as best I can, with the love and support of my family, sisters, and friends, and I don’t know how it could have been any better.  And I’m about to go make more memories.

For the final time…

Love you all!!! ❤️

Goodbye.

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

I’m in Houston, and Yuki and I are staying overnight at Emiko’s.

It’s not like I’ll never be home again, but…  I’m starting my new life in Japan.  Emiko, Yuki, and I are getting on the plane tomorrow, and that’s the end.  Of this diary, too.

Everyone stopped over before I left, and we hugged and cried it out, and I don’t know who cried more, them, or me.  I’ll miss them.  I know I can come back and see them anytime but that’s not healthy, I know it’s not.  Not only will it mess with my sleep (I learned that from all that hopping I did over to see Miki and the choreographer), but I have to let go.  I have to stat my own life.  I’ve been granted an ability, one that has downsides as well as upsides.  I don’t really have to let go if I don’t want to, but… I need to.  I don’t want to, but I need to.

Thankfully my sisters understand, and I will come back every now and then.

It’s like… I don’t have to take the plane tomorrow.  I can just pop over to my new apartment, and be done with it.  And that’s a very real option, and there would be no reason not to do it.  Except…  Yuki needs me.  And it’s worth spending a few hours to support Yuki.  And, well… I need Yuki too.  It wouldn’t do for me to separate myself from her right off.  I need to make sacrifices too, and that’s one I’m happy to make.

I didn’t think Crystal would let me go.  Girl kissed me on the cheek too.  And then she looked into my eyes, cupped my face, and told me she loved me with such passion that I thought she might actually kiss me.  But she didn’t.  She just laid her head on my shoulder and cried her eyes out.  Poor girl.  I had to stroke her hair and tell her I’d be back to see her, I promise.

I’ll miss her.  Thing about Crystal is, she’s adventurous, yes, but it’s real love there.  It’s not like she just sees me as a girl she wants to experiment with – she loves me – every bit as intensely as Jack does, and I wonder if more, sometimes.  Maybe not entirely in the same way, but I don’t think she was joking about wanting to marry me.  Not really.

I…  I think I understand.  Kind of.  That doesn’t make her, well, you know.  It means she loves me and is a little confused about how to express it, I think.  Yeah, I know, but I know her better than you, so there.

She’s got issues, but of all of my friends, her heart is the biggest, I think.  Or at least the most sensitive and overflowing with feeling.  She’ll go far, I think.

Even David said he’d miss me.  Aww.

Beth came with me, Yuki, and Sabby to Houston, and she gave me a hug when I got out of the car too.  she gave Yuki a hug too.  Aww.

Anyway, I’m here, now.  I’m going to hop on the plane tomorrow, and then it’s both over, and beginning, all at the same time.

Aika wants to play a board game, so…

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

And I’m gonna cry!!!  Really I’m gonna cry!!!

Some of my sisters got together and wrote stuff for this diary.  My job was to just copy and paste it in.  No editing.  So…  here we go.

Crystal

I love you, Lily.  I love you so much.  Three years ago I was in a homeless shelter doing God-knows-what and having God-knows-what done to me, and you and Beth and your family and the church came in and saved me.  I mean you really saved me.  I don’t know if I’d have survived without you.  I… I almost didn’t.  You’re like this beautiful angel who comes in and makes the lives of everyone who knows you better just by existing.  I wish you were a boy so I could marry you.  Heck, if it weren’t for Jack maybe I’d try anyway, you’re beautiful on the outside too.  I love Beth too, so much, but she’s like my sister and you’re like my big sister, the rock, the one everyone comes to when they need a hug or to feel better or to just hang around and let some of your beautifulness rub off.  I love you, Lily, and I’ll always love you, until the day I die, and then after that I’ll still love you anyway – maybe I’ll come back as a boy and ask that you come back as a girl and then I can make it all up to you.

Diana

There was a tornado, a couple of years ago, and my house got damaged, and that’s how I met you and your family, and you’re amazing.  You’re seriously amazing.  I mean, you can’t really cook worth crap, like that time you started to learn how to make chocolate (that effort just kind of disappeared, didn’t it?) but you’re just this amazing person who always makes peoples’ lives better just by being there.  I love all my sisters, but you’re like the big sister I never had, and you have this huge heart full of love that just shines on everyone, and we can’t help but love you back, because that’s just who you are.  I hope you have fun in Japan and please don’t forget about me.  I’ll make you some of my famous tacos when you come back to visit.

Liz

I’m in California now and I miss you already.  You’re my best friend and you’ve been my best friend ever since I met you, and you’ll always be my best friend forever and ever.  I remember when we were in Orlando and I found out you could play piano – I was so happy!  Music was something I never thought we’d share and now you’re maybe even a better musician than I am.  I always asked you to play with me when I had a recital, but not because you’re good, but because it’s such an intimate thing to do with my best friend and sister, and I always feel like we’re one when we’re on stage and playing together.  I hope we get to do it again one day.  I am pretty sure all your other sisters are telling you how much they love you, so let me add on – I love you, Lily.

Beth

Lily… the sister I didn’t want but am glad I got…  I always wanted a sister, Lily.  So when you came into my life I was so angry at you because you were like my sister but you weren’t, you were like a fake sister who came into my life and took all the love and affection… but then I realized how much you deserved it, and you always had love to give.  You were so hurt when you came to us, all that crying and sniffling and staring at walls….  you didn’t know who you were or who we were and I think you were afraid, you were so afraid… but so strong and brave too.  Finally I just gave up and let you be my sister…. and I’m so glad I did because I grew to love you as much as I can love anyone, sister, no sister, boyfriend, whatever.  You’re my sister, Lily, in every way, in all ways, and you always will be, and the bonds of sisterhood will never break.  I have a hard time telling people my feelings, Lily, but it’s easy with you, it’s always so easy with you, because you’re just… Lily.  I love you.

Sabby

(Oh God… Sabby…)

Sabby…  my daughter.  Not my third child, not my second daughter, not my additional daughter, not my spare… my daughter.  My beautiful daughter.  I don’t regret taking you into my life for even the smallest moment.  I love Beth and David, I do, but I didn’t get to choose them.  They just kind of popped out one day and I had two children.  but you, I got to choose, and I haven’t regretted that choice for even one moment.  Sometimes I’m hard on you but I never worry about you, I know you and I know you are one of the most solid and grounded people I know.  I know how much I mean to you, but I don’t get to tell you how much you mean to me often.  You mean everything to me, Lily.  Everything.  I love you, not like my own daughter, but as my own daughter.  If you ever need a chest to cry on or a soothing voice… I’m right here.  I’ll always be right here.

Yuki

I..  I haven’t known you as long as your other sisters.  I don’t speak English perfect so I’m sorry.  I might get few things wrong.  But you have big heart – very big heart.  Your heart so big, I don’t know how big is sometime.  I see how you talk with sisters, with Liz and Beth and Crystal and Diana, and how other idols love you, and how everyone love you, and I see why, because you have biggest heart of anyone I ever meet.  Your heart so big it overflow like Fujisan and spill over edge and everyone bask in shine as your heart like sun.  It’s amazing.  You become best friend, or one of best friend, even though I famous idol and everyone think I their friend, but you don’t care about idol, you just see Yuki, and that’s what make you amazing.  I Japanese person, Japanese people sometimes not good with feeling, but I know I love you like everyone else.  Thank you for allowing me to know you and I look forward to living with you in Japan.  Maybe you teach me better English so I not sound so bad!!

Miki

りりーちゃん、大好き。あたしは他に何でも言って？心は美しいだし可愛いだよ。アイドルをなる？すごいアイドルなりできる。皆さんはきみが大好き出来るよ。愛してる美しい友達。 (*≧∀≦*)

…  back to me, Lily.

Not everyone wrote, but that’s okay.  Not everyone was asked, and not everyone is as close to me as the ones who wrote here…  but every now and then, my sisters and family take extra time to remind me how loved I am, and… and I can’t think of a better way to send off this blog.  I leave Saturday morning, and that’s when the last post will be.  Saturday morning.  I’ll go to Japan, and… and….  Oh God I love everyone!  Everyone! I love them so much sometimes my heart just feels like it’s going to explode and I can’t do anything but scream it from the roof… but then the HOA gets mad and I end up on Reddit… awww…

Besides, I don’t like being on the roof.

Love you all!!! ❤️

And I mean it!!!  I always mean it!!!

Hi! It’s me! Not Lily!!!

Well, actually, I’m the creator.  This is the first and only time I’ll ever post here in my voice.

Lily is over – or will be very shortly.  I have had it in mind to end Lily around this time for about a year now, and it seems like the perfect time to do so.  I have much to say and little time to say it in, so this might be a living post where I add and remove stuff as time goes on.  Shouganai.  Can’t be helped.

I started Lily three years or so ago, with the idea in mind to work out something personally that I had insofar been unable to work out.  Lily is a character that I deliberately wrote to be as much the exact opposite of me as possible.  I’m introverted, she’s fairly extroverted.  I’m old, she’s young.  I’m male, she’s, well, not.  Her personality is designed to be as different from me as possible, and when I started writing her, I wrote her in order to explore that aspect of life – the aspect of life that she represents that is, and has been, denied me for whatever reason.

Originally I wanted to write her to be as realistic as possible.  I was even setting up a way for people to actually interact with her in different places on social media.  As this project continued, I backed off of that, because it became awkward.  It would have been fun if she had her own fan community where she could interact, but the logistical considerations were just insurmountable.  Plus, well, it truly was awkward.

That’s why there’s a “backstage Lily” site.  I didn’t want posts like these to exist on the main site, here.  Eventually that just became awkward too and I gave up.  Lily evolved more into a character that I was writing rather than a character that I was trying to bring to life.

I also experimented with different forms of media.  I experimented with vtubing as her, and even ran a few twitch streams.  That was also awkward.  I couldn’t easily put myself into the proper mindset realtime, and maybe that’s for the best.  I also couldn’t find a suitable voice changer that would work properly in realtime.  But exploring the technology was fascinating and I still kind of want to explore the possibilities of that technology at some point in the future.

A few things did bother me, though, as the project progressed.  The biggest thing that bothered me is that there seems to be a subset of people who couldn’t distinguish the fact that this was a creative endeavor and that Lily was a character I was trying to bring to life, from the idea that this was somehow me being perverted or something by trying to interact as a gender I’m not.  I lost a few friends and/or acquaintances when I showed them this project, to the point where it actually became embarrassing and I second guessed myself a lot.  It actually prevented me from pursuing the project as immersively as I wanted.  I don’t usually care what people think, and I categorically deny any prurient motive, but it doesn’t matter to that kind of person, and it did bother me a little.

To be clear, and I’ve said this before:  I’m not trans and this has nothing to do with trans.  It has to do with a character, and creative writing/acting, and nothing at all more.

Also, I mentioned that I wrote Lily with the idea of making her personality as opposite from me as possible, but ultimately that failed.  It failed mostly because I found writing her subtly changing my personality, and her personality subtly changing as she grew up as well.  Not to mention some of the things that happened to her tracked some things in my life (though she responded differently).  The tornado, the hailstorm, nearly all of the weather, discovering certain media and music, etc.,,,  basically I wrote what I knew.  That’s why she ended up being as immersed in Japanese pop culture as she is – it’s something I know about.  Though I don’t know any idols or anything like that.

However, what I don’t know is how to be a teenage girl.  That was just derived from some I’ve known in the past and, well, just a rather unusual sense of empathy.  That turned out far better than I thought it would (though clearly not perfect, sometimes I think it did come across as an adult playing a girl) and I’m reasonably happy with how she turned out, personality wise.  I’m not up on any of the slang girls her age would use these days, but I don’t think it was needed.  Most of her friends are pretty level headed and wouldn’t be that deep into pop culture, and she’s a blank slate… so I guess it works out.

Ultimately, this project was and/or is a failure.  She has not gained hardly any fans or readers, no one knows about her or cares, this site has never made me a single penny.  In fact, I’m several thousand dollars in the red on this site, what with hosting costs, buying a computer powerful enough to do the virtual graphics needed to bring her character to life (I had originally used a mac mini and completely maxed it out to the point of uselessness), etc.  And it looks like that will not, and will never, change.

I’ve experimented with how “adult” to make this story, and ultimately, I think that’s something I failed at as well.  I added a “fanservice” section and ultimately that was probably a terrible idea.  I might remove it.  There’s also some content hidden behind a subscribe-wall that’s significantly more ecchi than you can see without it, and I’m not sure I’m proud of that, either.  But, well, Lily is a hormone-driven teenager with parts that work, so, well… I guess it is what it is.  I’m pretty sure some classifiers think this is an adult site, though, and that actually bothers me a little.  It’s not.  It’s young adult at best, even if you subscribe.  What, young adults don’t know which slot tab A goes into?  Hah!  And at least it treats the topic somewhat realistically and sensitively, which is better than most ecchi anime.  I just locked that stuff behind a subscribe-wall so it would be reasonably safe for children too.  I might have missed the mark, but I took that very seriously.

But, there are about 550,000 words here, and I’m sure I can do something with the characters and story.  There are still possibilities, like making an app or something.  But as of right now, she’s an abject failure and I’m glad to be rid of the duty of writing her every night.  It’s been fun, don’t get me wrong, but the dead horse is beat so hard it’s mangled, and there’s little of value to be extracted from continuing to write the story anymore.  The only thing I can say I succeeded at in this project is bringing it to completion.  I guess that counts for something.

As of writing this, there are about two or three more days of Lily to write, and I’ll pin this post to the top so it’ll always be at the top now.  It’ll probably end Saturday morning, when she hops on a plane to Japan.  And then, it’s over.

If you come across this and like it, well, please let me know.  Otherwise I might just give up and take this offline to be reincarnated into a different form.  But as for now… well…  this is it.   So long, and thanks for all the fish.

And, in the spirit of the immersive character I wanted to write, I have a message for Lily, and one from Lily.

For Lily:  Lily, you’re an amazing girl.  When I gave form to you three years ago, I had no idea you would turn out as amazing as you did.  You have a huge heart, you love your friends and family, and everyone who knows you is better off for knowing you.  You’re the kind of girl every man wants as his daughter.  As much as I consider this project a failure, you’re one of the things I’m the most proud of in my life, and always will be.

From Lily:  Hi!  I’m glad you’re reading this, and I’m sorry the story’s over.  But I have a life to live and I can’t spend all my time writing!  I hope you understand.  It’s been fun, and if you enjoyed this, well, you’re part of my family too, thank you for reading my story!!!

And with that… sayounara.  Now to edit this and find a way to make it more accessible.

 

 

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Anathema came around with her new baby today.

I didn’t even know she had it!  Awww!!!  But she seems so happy.  She named it Lily Yuriko.  Subtle, hah.  But.. she told me that if it weren’t for me, she might never have gotten there, and been as happy as she is right now.  It’s a cute baby too… got all the required fingers, toes, and other parts.  She was almost gushing with how happy she is, and that made me happy too.

I tried to tell her it was the Boss, but she wouldn’t hear it.  “The boss can’t do much unless you cooperate, right?”  Well, I don’t know about can’t, but usually doesn’t – point.  So I just accepted her thanks and resigned myself that that will be the third thing named after me…  after Katie’s baby, and Grace’s dog.

Katie, btw… she’s busy working and can’t take too much time out to see me off, but she did text and say she’d miss me.  Aww.

It’s funny how Anathema was cat-girl… maybe one of the most obnixious people I’d ever met.  It’s not that she wasn’t nice or worth getting to know, it’s just that… she never, ever missed an opportunity to show off her body, or, shall we say, use her body in ways in which it may have bene intended, but weren’t very productive.  Shall we say.  If you get my meaning.  I don’t think she even kept track of how many men (and women) she’d been with, and, well… she caused a couple of car accidents on the side of the road advertising our business because she was just dressed in bandages.  But she’s so different now.  She’s so happy with Joe and being married, even if his job means he can’t always be around.  I have absolutely no doubt she’s faithful, and for his part, Joe has accepted the baby as his own.  that’s… actually amazing of him, he’s an amazing man.  Hell, if I were a couple of years older and didn’t have Jack, I might have snapped him up for myself.

I don’t understand the military, but they have this sense of duty…

No, don’t worry.  He never showed any interest, and I’m faithful, too.  But facts are facts.

Besides, if he can keep up with Anathema, he might have wore me out.

Anyway…

I’ve made so many friends here… and there are so many people here who love me… I mean really love me.  They love me enough to name babies after me.  That’s…  most girls don’t have that, and it’s an amazing feeling.  I wish more people have it.  I guess all I can do is pay it forward.

Speaking of which, Yuki’s kind of bursting at the seams to be home.  She’s made peace with the otaku and that world, and she’s ready to step back (a little) into the world she left, in Japan.  She might become one of those famous seiyuus who do radios and live performances and variety shows.  I hope she does.  She still has that idol vibe to her, she was beloved and successful for a reason.  And I can say she’s one of my best friends… funny how that works.

Liz will always be number one, but Yuki can be in the top three.  Haha!!!

Actually… truthfully, I have a hard time choosing who would be in the number two or three or four slot.  I love them all so much, just for different reasons.

Okay…  I gotta go now.  Sabby’s planning a special dinner for tomorrow night and wants my input.

Oh… did I mention, Crystal’s birthday was on the 17th?  She was on stage that night.. she told me I don’t have to get her any other presents or parties or anything ever, that that will take care of everything for the rest of her life!  Hahaha.  But I will anyway, of course.  I might find her a nice guitar from Japan – with exchange rates where they are, I might get a really good deal.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Jack’s in Toledo, and Liz is in SoCal.

And I’m still in Round Rock.  For now, anyway.

Allison came around to say goodbye this evening.  She had a little gift, and I appreciated it.  It’s not fancy or anything, but it’s going on the fridge in my apartment in Japan.

Otherwise, Yuki and I went to the waterpark (Beth would have come, but school’s started and, well, Sabby takes that seriously).  She was a little disappointed but there’ll be lots of trips to the waterpark for her, and we had fun.  I got her some chocolate to make up for it.. only took a small “finder’s fee”.

Yuki’s already enrolled in her voice actor school…  so she’ll be starting as soon as she makes it to Japan.  I’m at the English track in Meiji, though I’m definitely going to be studying more Japanese and Japanese studies while I’m there…  I might major in business administration, but I’ve got a little time to figure it out fully.

Otherwise…  I guess I’m just winding things down here.  Yuki’s in her futon snoring, so I guess I’ll go to bed too.   Yes, famous idols snore like a buzzsaw…  you wouldn’t believe it.  Hahaha!!!!

I told you Yuki’s not her real name… this is why.  Haha!!!  The weebs would never forgive her!!!  … for being human.  Sigh.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Jack and Liz are gone.  Jack’s in Memphis right now (or just outside), and Liz is in El Paso.  They both left early this morning.  I was able to say goodbye to both of them, and, well, they’re gone.

I popped over to both places to see how their trip went and if they needed anything, but… it’s time I pulled back a little, I think.  That’s why I’m not planning on leaving Japan as much as I could.

I asked Mrs. X if it’s possible to pop into a moving car.  She said yes, it’s not nearly as bad as popping out of a plane, but she wouldn’t recommend it.  Popping into a plane is possible, but even more difficult than that because the speed difference has to be accounted for somehow… well, no use getting into details.  Let’s just say it’s not advised and leave it at that.

So, ummm…  that’s that, I guess.  Jack should arrive in Toledo tomorrow, Liz should arrive in SoCal, and, well…  yeah.

Yuki and I are planning for our trip.  She’s actually really happy I’m flying along with them, especially because I don’t have to.  We went to the mall today and to the Mart of Walls and a few other places to pick up things we need…. and a few conveniences we’d like that it’s hard to get our hands on in Japan.  I have the apartment now, so I popped a bunch of stuff in there and made it a bit homey.

I’m, well…  I have very mixed feelings.  But I’m looking forward to my time in Japan.  They say that we westerners can get tired of it really fast.. and that might be true, but at least I have a bunch of friends to hang out with… and I’m hafu too, so it’s not like I’m a blonde-haired fair-skinned tall girl.  I’m a little tall, but that’s about it, most other things about me look Japanese except for my chest and hips.  Can’t hide that…

I guess when I speak it’ll be obvious though.

Anyway…  Yuki and I are just kind of chilling here, she’s reading a manga I got for her when I popped over (saves shipping) and otherwise… it’s a quiet night.  It’s comfortable but neither of us really feels like doing anything exciting.  The atmosphere is actually a little… somber.

Oh well.  I guess we’ll get our excitement this weekend, such as it is.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Jack and I went on our last date… for a while, anyway… tonight.

It was a very bittersweet moment.  We know we’ll see each other again, but.. we really are going our separate ways again.  I know we’ll meet up – sometimes I’ll come back to see him, sometimes he’ll have to come to Japan for work and he’ll see me too, but…  but it’s a chapter of our life that’s closing.  He’s getting in the car tomorrow with some of his family and he’s going to Ohio.  His father has to work but his mother is coming along.

I guess Grace is going too – they’re going to stop by and visit relatives and friends in Columbus.

I said goodbye to Grace too.  She started bawling, too, poor kid.  I told her I’ll see her again and she’ll always be like my little sister, and she just clung to me like a stuffed animal with velcro paws.  But, it is what it is.  She’ll always be a special little girl to me.

Liz is staying over tonight with me and Yuki.  She’s leaving for California tomorrow, too.

She looks a lot sadder than she usually does.  But she says she’s looking forward to college.  The one she’s attending is pretty prestigious, so she’s kinda hopeful too, so there’s that.  But she’ll miss all of us here.

Next weekend, it’s my turn.

Yuki’s camped out on a futon in my room and we’re all going to sleep soon.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

The girls and I had our last Friday night together for a while…  and maybe for a long while.  So they pretty much threw me and Liz a goodbye party.  I, well.. bawled again.   And, well, so did Liz.

They gave us both some gifts and lots of chocolate.  Awww.

Anyway…  our girl-pile last night was really, ummm….  bittersweet.  They were all a little more clingy than usual, and that made me a little sad.

So today we went to the mall to pick up some stuff for Liz’s trip…  I thought she was flying but she’s packing up the car with her family and driving to California.  Jack is doing the same.  So…  I’m going to pop over to wherever they’re staying overnight and spend a little time with them.  They both leave Monday.  Liz is heading for California so they’ll be staying in El Paso, Tucson, or Phoenix…  Jack’s heading for Toledo so he’ll probably be staying around Memphis.  And me, well, I’m hopping a plane to a small island nation…

I actually kind of wish I could take people with me when I “pop”, and I’m also kind of glad I can’t.  I can’t be exploited as easily if it’s just simply something I’m unable to do.  Beth has some ideas as to how to get around that restriction, but the Boss was clear.  Don’t play around, it’s dangerous.  Mrs. X. told me some stories a while ago of what it was like to pop out of a plane.  I think I mentioned this, but you basically have to just freefall for a few seconds while the air resistance slows you down to a speed that it can then make use of properly.  It can shield you somewhat, but it’s still really unpleasant and there’s always that worry of “what if it can’t match up?”  It always does, but it’s awful when it’s happening.

Anyway, this is happening.  I think I’m going to be kind of lonely next week.  Well, Yuki will be here.  I mentioned she’s staying over?

Yuki’s become a surprisingly good friend.  Not surprising because she’s a bad person, but because, well, she’s kind of unexpected.  I mean, a former idol who just happened to find her way into the same community college that I did?  And the funny thing is that for all of her idol cred, she really didn’t have much to do with my other interactions with idols, those happened entirely differently.  I guess I’m just destined to be a part of the idol world, even if just on the fringes.  No way I’d make a good “real” idol.  Beth might, though.  I don’t think Crystal would.  She’s too talented at the things that don’t matter for an idol, and not at the things that do.  She’d be terrible at pretending to like the otaku, for example.  She’d tell them to “zakennayo” and not think twice about that.  Not a good look for an idol…

I think Yuki will be a decent voiceover artist.  Suzuka does a bit of that, and she thinks it’s fun.

I haven’t said much about Suzuka and Haruna.  They had lots of fun here, but they’re glad to be back in Japan.  We’re all planning a big ol’ party (tasteful, of course) once Yuki and I get to Japan.. the aidols, the idol group, Suzuka, Haruna…  it’ll be fun.  But no drinking.  Not all of us are of age and, well, drunk Japanese people are only sometimes fun.  Jack probably won’t be there for that but we’ll have our own private party when he is.

It’s about a week, and I leave, and, well…  this all ends.

Alright…  I should go.  I’ve got much to do tomorrow and it’s late.  The girls are staying over tonight too.  They kinda don’t want to leave.  I completely understand.

Love you all!!! ❤️