Series: 32 - February 2024

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

It’s 2/24/24!!!  Haha!! All the 2s and 4s!!!

Well…  today was Saturday.  Not a whole lot going on.  I played the concerto for the girls today.  It’s not the easiest thing with no orchestral part, but I guess it works out – they still thought it was really pretty.  I think it is too.  And pretty difficult, too.  Miki had the day off, so she was on a video call and listened too.

It’s funny how impressed they get.  Even Miki.  She’s a professional idol.  She’s been in front of 20,000 people, or more.  So has Yuki.  And both of them still seem to think I run rings around them.

Maybe I do?  Maybe we just measure success differently.  Maybe they have the right of it.  And, well, maybe not.

Later in the day we all went to help Anathema move.  She’d already boxed up all of the stuff that she didn’t want us to see (what, you expected her to just throw out all of her expensive costumes?)  and we helped pack up the rest of it.  Joe was around to make sure no one tried to mess with her while she was moving, and enlisted a few of his coworkers to make sure no one followed her to the new place.  She has a lot of stuff but it was pretty easy to box up, so it all worked out.  I guess she’s got the apartment for a little longer, anyway, but she’s not going to live in it anymore.

I don’t blame her.

It’s kinda sad.  I mean, it’s true, in a sense she brought it on herself by carrying on, but some people just take it way, way too far.

I do think she turned over a new leaf.  I really do.  But, at the end of the day, she’s still Anathema, and a little bit of cat-girl, and that will always be the case.  You don’t stop being you when you change, you just be a better you.  I guess.

She’s got a better security system at her new place than the shop, and, well…  I think it’s really necessary.  Unfortunately.

Anyway, Diana found a game at the drugstore called RoundRock-opoly, so we’re going to play it now.  I wonder who gets Dell Diamond?

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

It was a day, I suppose.  Much like any other day.  I got up, ran, went to church…  I didn’t really have a message but the pastor and I did a little skit, which was fun.  He’s not a bad guy, especially since he’s kinda pulled the stick out after the supernatural beatdown he got through me.  I practiced a little, and the girls came over to do our band practice.

Crystal is still improving so much.  She’s nowhere as good I am musically, but technically… she’s better than all of us at the guitar.  That’s not hard, I suppose… but she’s also probably better than all of us at songwriting, and she’s still improving.  She also wrote a song for Beth.  It was just as sweet as the one she wrote for me, but it was a little more…  friend-romantic, I suppose.  If that’s a word.  She’s not interested in Beth that way but her feelings run very, very deep and very, very broad.  She loves Beth.  I mean she really loves Beth.  She would do anything in the world to see Beth smile, and…  she said as much in her song.

In fact, she apparently feels really, really bad about… what she did a couple of years ago.  Because it hurt Beth.  She really hates that she hurt Beth.  Beth slapped her, and she thinks she deserves it, and thinks Beth should have done worse.

Anyway, I saw her give the song to Beth, and then she kind of turned away, blushing a little, and picking at her guitar.

Beth read it…. tears sprang out, she ran over to Beth, took the guitar, put it down, and then crushed her in the biggest hug I’ve ever seen, crying hysterically.  Then Crystal started crying too, and, well…  we all did too.  It was one of those beautiful sister moments that you can’t plan but you always treasure.

I’m Crystal’s big sister.  Beth is.. just Crystal’s sister.  In every meaning of the word, and a few that don’t apply to me (a few meanings of “big sister” don’t apply to her either, but they’re different).

She promised Diana one, too.

I don’t know how deep her feelings are about Diana, but if they’re anything like the rest of us…  sisterhood means something to her.

And I love that about her.  I really love that about her.  Crystal is such a rough girl sometimes… battered, beaten down, hurt, hurt badly…  to the point where any one of us might not have survived.  She almost didn’t.  But her heart survived.  Her heart survived and it is so big, and…  all of her sisters mean everything to her.

I hope Crystal puts all these songs to music.  I think….  those songs may be her ticket.

Beth wants to write one, now, too.  I wonder how that’s going to turn out.

Maybe someday I’ll share the song she wrote for Beth, but they don’t want me to right now.  I guess it’s a bit personal for now.  I understand.

Anyway…  It’s a nice day out.  Marie got a long walk this afternoon, which, of course, she loved.  Dave grilled, which is always delicious.  And then the girls and I spent the evening watching anime.  They ended up going home, though, they have school tomorrow.

And I have school… and a LOT of practice.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

OMG I’ve been so BUSY!!!!

Practice practice practice practice practice practice eat sleep practice practice practice… and if I’m lucky, I get time to write a post.  Aww.

So… ummm…  what’s been going on.  Well, it turns out Anathema was right to move.  Someone broke into her old apartment.  It was empty.

But the security system at her new apartment is good.  They’ll detect someone trying to get in long before they succeed.  Joe installed one of those door stops too that prevent the door from opening at all if it’s locked from the inside.  So she’s feeling okay.  But I wish people would just give up.

The cops hanging around the shop seem to have deterred people there, anyway.  A couple of cops have taken to watching the bands perform, too.  It’s like free security… sort of.  We’re considering hiring an actual guard… but haven’t decided yet.

I’m going to play for the conductor again next week.  I think I’ll have it ready be then to work with the orchestra, but he wants to work with me a little first.  He and I both know why I was chosen, and it’s not because I’m the world’s best pianist.  But I’m good enough, I think.  He says he has faith in me.  I hope it’s not misplaced.

Yuki and Liz are over tonight.  They’re getting along pretty well… thankfully.

Well…  I guess time for bed soon.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

More practice today!!! I think it’s bugging the heck out of everyone, but there’s not a whole lot I can do about that, I guess.  It needs to be done.  Maybe I can see if there’s a piano or practice room at the college I can use… but I doubt it.  I don’t think they have a music program.

Aww.

They posted a video of one of Miki’s concerts on YouTube.  I’ve been watching it.  I also wathed some of Yuki’s concerts… and I’m a little conflicted.  I really am.  The thing is, I know these girls.  I know Miki, I know Yuki, I know Minami, and I know… a little, anyway… of the other girls in after-school friends idol light music club.  They’re such beautiful, sensitive souls who are so hurt, sometimes, by their life as an idol.

But…  their videos.  They’re amazing.  So much happiness, cheerfulness… they’re dressed in bright costumes, smiling, singing, dancing… and their audience loves them.  Waving their glow-sticks around, chanting, even doing wotagei in the audience.  I mean, I get it…  it’s kind of a cut-throat industry.  But I also get why they’re so popular.  Who doesn’t want that kind of happiness in their lives… and its their job to provide it?  Maybe I need to ask Yuki about it.  I can’t be the only one who wonders about this.  It’s such a… conundrum, I suppose.  Like two opposite things are true all at once.

So, in other news.  The police staked out Anathema’s old apartment… and they caught the guy who was trying to find her.  So that’s good.  I have a feeling – and Joe agrees – that it’s not like there’s this huge cabal of unbalanced men.  Just a couple who are causing all the trouble.  And, well, two are off the street now.  One was… well…  he had a personal reason, I guess.  Oh, btw… he hasn’t been released.  The judge set bail very, very high.

Well…  I’m not sure what else to talk about right now.  There hasn’t been a lot going on.  Just practice, practice, and more practice.  I can’t wait to actual play it!  You know how Miki said that there’s nothing like being on a stage in front of twenty thousand people?  Well, I wouldn’t know.  But… I kinda do.  I’ve been in front of a couple of thousand people, when I played that Schumann concerto last year.  And she’s right.  There.’s… nothing at all like it.  All those people cheering for me.  Well, and the orchestra, but me.  There’s no feeling like it in the world.  Not even when I’m with Jack.  No feeling at all like it.  I guess I understand why they stick with it even though it’s a hard and sometimes lonely job.

Oh, btw.  Speaking of Miki.  It seems their group had a team meeting… without the producer.  They were talking about their future… what they want out of it.  They decided they were going to try to be more unified in the future… to enjoy themselves as a group… as friends.  I don’t know how that will turn out, but I have a feeling it will be…  a very different group if they can pull that off.  A much better one, too.  You can have a group full of rivals singing and dancing and they can be cute and fun… but a group of friends looking out for each other?

I think the audience will be able to tell.

And I wonder if Nakamoto-san will know what hit him, haha!!!!

Anyway

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Happy Leap Year!!!

Ummm… what’s leap year?  The last one was…. before the “accident”.  So I don’t remember.

Oh well.

So Yuki came over tonight and I asked her about my question.  You know, the one I had last night.

She took a while to think about her answer.

“No idol ever becomes an idol because they want to be part of the idol industry”, she said.  “Or very, very few do.  Most idols become idols because they like singing and dancing and being famous for singing and dancing, and… if you’re an idol, you get to do all those things.”  She looked a little wistful.  “You get to shine,” she said softly.  “Thousands of people you are shining for.  You’re in the business of making people happy.”  Then her face turned darker.  “Then producers get their hands into it, and you, and…” She sighed.  “That wasn’t your question.”

“And you?”

“Some producers aren’t nice people,” she said.  “My parents taught me martial arts.  They only tried it once.”

She was quiet for a bit.  “You get to shine,” she finally said.  “I miss shining.  A lot, sometimes.”

We just sat there for a little while.  She said, finally, “I watched you play, last week.  You play very well.  You play better than any idol I’ve ever met.  But… you don’t dance.”

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t dance,” she said.  “We dance to express things through our bodies, to say things that we can’t say with words.  You do that with music.  But you don’t dance.  Your fingers don’t dance, your body doesn’t dance, your piano doesn’t dance.  Here, let’s go play something.”  So I went downstairs with her, and she told me to play something.  It didn’t matter what, just something.  So I played the opening chords of the concerto I’m practicing.  And she started dancing.

I don’t think she was doing anything really special.  Just an idol dance where she waved her arms around and pranced a bit.  And…  it made the music better.  It was like she was taking everything the music was saying and turning it into motion, and it was so fluid.  I just stopped playing and looked at my fingers and the piano.  She was right.  It was dull.  The music was dull.  I wasn’t dancing.

“Dance,” she said, softly.

“I don’t know how.”

“No,” she said.  “Sit there, play, and dance“.

And… it was like the music exploded.

Things came out of it I’d never heard before.  Textures, colors…  it was beautiful.  And it was coming from my fingers.

She just looked smug.  “That  is why I became an idol,” she said.  “Maybe… maybe there were better ways.  But…  that’s why.  That’s why we become idols, that’s why we sing and dance for producers who don’t care about anything but money and just use us until we can’t be used anymore and toss us away with a big, fake tearful graduation concert.  That’s why we do it.  We get to sing and dance, and we get to make people happy with our smiles.  Do you understand now?

“Not exactly,” I said, softly.  “But I think so.”

Now I had to completely start over with my piece.  Thankfully I don’t have to relearn any of the notes.

Sigh.

I called my piano teacher and asked her about it, and she just sighed.  “Sometimes…  there are things we can’t really teach.  We try, but sometimes…  we have to wait for a time when you’re able to listen to what we have to say.  You weren’t there yet.  But I’m glad Yuki was able to explain it to you.  Now I’m really looking forward to your concert.”

“Yuki…  do you want to dance again?”  I asked her, later.

She looked wistful.  “Maybe someday.”

“I’ll talk to the conductor.”

“That’s…  ”  she ran up and glomped me.

“He’ll probably say no,” I said, while being glomped.  “That’s not really typical for a classical concert.  It’s… unheard of if it’s not ballet.”

“But I love you for trying”, she said, softly.

Putting idol style dancing in a classical concert.  That might be a hard sell.  But I’m going to try anyway.  Not just for Yuki.  Not just for anyone who might be dancing with Yuki.  But because, maybe, sometimes…  you do something that’s never been done before.  Maybe it’ll work.  Maybe it won’t.  But at least it’s never been done before.

As far as I know, anyway.

Love you all!!! ❤️