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This diary entry is part 24 of 30 in Lily's diary dated 06 - December 2021

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

There is subscriber content embedded in this post!  But you have to be a subscriber to see it!  But as usual, don’t worry, you don’t need it to enjoy the story, and if you’re under thirteen, you shouldn’t.

Tomorrow is Christmas!  And Santa is a silly billy! Making a list to find out who’s naughty or nice.  And reindeers with electrical issues flitting around dropping presents into houses with gas heating!  Okay!

But still.  Christmas eve is nice.

Sabby spent all day making goodies.  Sooooo many goodies.  Cookies, and cakes, and things for dinner tomorrow…  soooo much food.  There’s chocolate stuff, but sugar cookies and ginger snaps and, well, she goes all out!  I offered to help but she shooed me out of the kitchen and told me she gets lots more done when no one’s bothering her.  It’s like she dances around the kitchen!

I asked her why Dave doesn’t help.  She says she doesn’t want him to.  She says that men are perfectly welcome in the kitchen, but not her kitchen.  I guess she can be a bit old fashioned.  She says he can take care of the tree and the decorating and all that fun stuff, but the kitchen is hers.

And the food just kept piling up.  I swear, when that woman gets going, she gets going.  And there’s even more tomorrow.

I went over to Liz’s house with Jack’s presents, and he was there.  They had a fire going – for whatever reason I don’t know, because the temperatures are at record high.  If you want a white Christmas, Texas ain’t where to be!  But we sat by the tree and the fire and exchanged our presents.  They were nice enough to give us a little time alone.

Jack told me he’d been thinking very hard about what to get me – that I’m very difficult to shop for.  It’s not so much that he doesn’t know me, but he can’t think of anything I’d actually want.  So he thought and he thought and he thought some more, he thought and he thought till his thinker was sore, and he finally had an idea!  Hah, Dr. Seuss reference there.  He handed me a small box.

“What is it?,” I said, those same stupid words that every women everywhere from the beginning of time says to their man, and his response was the same response that every man everywhere says back.

“Open it.”

So I did.  As I was tearing into the package, he just kept talking.  “I didn’t think you liked jewelry all that much so I didn’t get you that, and clothing isn’t really a good gift, and electronics is something a boy would want, and…”

But he was just kind of droning on, my attention was totally on the package.  I tore into that, and…  oh my God.

Oh my God.

“Where did you find that?”, I said.  In my hands sat the most beautiful and intricate glass spider lily I’d ever seen.  It glimmered in the firelight, and seemed to shine inside with a light of its own.  “It’s beautiful,” I breathed.

“I had to order it special,” he said.  I think he wanted to say more but wasn’t able to as my lips were pressed against his.  I pulled back and looked in his eyes.  “I love it,” I said.  “I absolutely love it.”  I looked down.  “I feel bad that mine isn’t as nice.”

“That kiss was the best present,” he said.  I handed him his present, half ashamed, and he opened it.

“I love it,” he said simply.

“Really?  I didn’t spend a whole lot and I don’t think I thought as hard as you and…”

He kissed me.  “I really do love it,” he said.  It was an intricate painted figurine of a woman who looked a lot like me, in a magical pose.  “It’s beautiful.”  It’d cost me a pretty penny too.

“You don’t sound…”

“No, I do!,” he said.  “She looks like you.”

I blushed.  “But she’s beautiful.”

“And you don’t think you are?  My God, Lily, have you looked at yourself in the mirror?  One reason I never look at other girls is because none of them measure up to you!”

“You… you mean that?”  I melted.  Just melted into a little puddle of Lily-goo.

“I couldn’t be happier,” he said.  Liz walked in and sat down. “You lovebirds done?  Can I give Lily her present now?”

I didn’t leave his side, but she sat down next to us and she handed me her present.

“I forgot to bring over my present for you,” I said sadly.

“You’ll give it to me later.  Now open it.”

I tore the wrapping off, took one look at it, and blushed deeply.  “Liz!”

She grinned.  “I knew you wouldn’t buy those, so I did.  Maybe you’ll wear them for Jack later?”

Jack looked curious.  “What are they?”

I hid them. 

“Maybe you’ll find out soon,” Liz said, smirking.

“Liz, I can’t figure out whether to kiss you or slap you!”

“I’ll take a hug.”

So I hugged her.

Jack and I spent a couple of more hours together.  He didn’t mention Liz’s gift again, and thankfully.

Oh, and a little later, Jack’s parents gave me a gift too.  That was so nice of them, they didn’t have to.  They didn’t give me an actual box or anything, but they gave me their blessing.

“Lily,” his mother said, “You’re one of the best things to happen to our son in a long time.  Jack’s told us how seriously you take your relationship, and you seem like a nice, smart girl.  We approve.  We hope someday you’ll get married and give us cute grandchildren, but you’re young.” 

“Anyway,” Jack’s father said, “We approve of you.  Don’t hurt our son, but welcome to the family.”

“I’m not -“

“To us, being our son’s girlfriend is a serious thing.  We expect that the two of you will make it legal someday, and if not, then you’ll break it off sooner rather than later.  But it’s still serious, to us.  While you are with our son, you’re family.”

I hugged both of them.  “Thank you,” I said, sincerely.  I handed them Grace’s present.  “Will you make sure Grace gets this?  It’s nothing big but…”

Jack’s mother accepted it.  “Thank you for thinking of her.”

“It’s nothing special -“

“She’s four,” Jack’s father interrupted.  “She’ll break it in a week no matter how expensive it is.  She’ll just appreciate that you thought of her.  I’d let you give it to her personally but she’s napping.”

After a little more socialization, I went home.

Dave had been busy!  There was so much cardboard and stuff sitting around, and there was a brand new, shiny digital piano sitting next to the tree!  It was pretty high quality too!  I sat down and played a few chords.  Dave came in, hearing me playing.

“Merry Christmas,” he said.  “That’s your present from us.”

“Oh my God!”, I said, and hugged him.  “Thank you!”

Dave took all the cardboard out to recycling, and we had a very nice dinner.  After that, we sat around the tree, I played some carols (Sabby made sure to get me some music), and we just had a very nice night together.  Maybe Sabby’s right.  Family’s the most important thing.  I have so much family now.  Thanksgiving is a time to be thankful.  Christmas is a time for family.

And you all are my family too.  I don’t know everyone who reads this.  I don’t know how many people read this.  It could be five, it could be five thousand.  But I know you’ve been reading my diary, and following along with my life, and learning about me, and Sabby, and Dave, and Beth, and Jack, and all of the family I’ve been collecting over the past few months.  I don’t have a gift for all of you.  But you are all my family just the same, and as I say every single day when I end this diary, I

Love you all!!!  ❤ 

This diary entry is part 21 of 30 in Lily's diary dated 06 - December 2021

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

I’m trying something a little different today.  There is subscriber specific content stuffed into this post.  It won’t unlock unless you’re a subscriber!  But don’t worry, as with before, you can still enjoy the story without it, and if you’re under thirteen, you should.

So I didn’t see Jack much today.  I guess his family went down to the big park downtown and had lots of fun.  I hear Grace loves the park!  She was running around and playing games and tired her sweet little self out!  I guess Jack can’t spend all his time with me, but I had plenty to look forward to!  I was nervous all day!  Why?

Anyway, I was fussing over what to wear.  Sabby even took me to get a very nice dress.  A woman dress.  I mean, I’ve had some nice dresses, but they were dresses girls or teenagers would wear.  This one is black and slinky and covers everything but I feel so… nice… in it!  She also took me to do up my hair and have my makeup done, and oh my God do I look good!  Even David’s mouth dropped open when he saw me!  She told me not to get it dirty, and to be careful, and to have fun!

Jack came over in a higher end rideshare!  He was wearing a suit!  He was so yummy!  I mean, he looked so good!  He took one look at me and forgot his words… he just looked me down… and up… and I couldn’t help it, I blushed!  It was how he was looking at me, like I was the only girl in the room!  He finally found his words but told me I looked very nice and I told him he looked very nice too.

We got into the backseat of the rideshare – I guess the driver saw how we were looking each other and said “No funny business, okay, kids?”  We both blushed, but nodded.

Where did he take me?  OMG the arcade!  The one over on 183!  It wasn’t too crowded, thankfully (we still have to be careful of the virus) but we went bowling and played arcade games and it was so much fun!  I’ve never been there!  He paid for all of my games, the silly billy!  I told him he didn’t have to, but he said “I’m not paying for your games because you’re a girl, I’m paying for your games because you’re my girl.”

“But we’re not -”

“We are tonight, at least,” he said.  “Let me do this for you.”

How could a girl say no?

After we got tired of that, we went to a steakhouse, one with outdoor dining, and he told me to order anything I wanted.

“How are you paying for all of this?,” I asked.  I was genuinely worried.

He shrugged.  “It seems my parents like you.”

“They do?”

“They don’t say much,” he said, “but they are grateful for you helping to improve our relationship.  Family is important to them, we’re Chinese but we’re also, well, family.  They felt really bad when they realized… how things were.”

“Are they better now?”

He nodded.  “We’re working on it.  Things don’t change overnight.  But they’re trying.” He shrugged.  “That’s all I can ask.”

Well, I felt bad ordering the most expensive thing, so I ordered something decently expensive but not too much so.  A nice steak and some fixins.  He had something with seafood.  I asked him about that.

He shrugged again.  “I’m Chinese.  I like steak, but I was raised on fish and seafood.”

“I wonder what I was raised on,” I said quietly.

“Maybe you’ll find out someday,” he said.

We ate our food in relative silence.  Not nervous silence, but companionable silence.  The steak was sooo good!  After that we were letting our food digest so we could eat dessert.

“So,” he said, “what did you want to talk about?”

“What do you mean?”

“You said there were things you wanted to talk about before you could say yes.  What were you thinking about?”

I sipped on my tea, and thought.  “What will college be like?,” I said finally.  “I don’t know where I’m going – I don’t even know if I can go.  And I’m sure you have some idea of where you want to go, and I bet it’s not here.  How would we make it work for at least six years?”

“You are taking it seriously,” he said.  “I hadn’t thought that far.”

I stared him right in the eye.  “I love you,” I said.  “Sabby wasn’t lying.  I could easily see being with you forever.  You’re so nice, and easy to talk to, and gentle, and…  and perfect.  But… but with some couples. the price isn’t clear.  The price is clear here.  I’ll have to move to Ohio, or you’ll have to move here, to Texas, or we might find another place, but… but that’s the price.  That will always be the price.  Can we pay it?”

“I love you too,” he said.  “But college is a couple of years away.  And we’ll live apart at least until then.  I don’t think either of our families are moving.”

I lowered my head.  “I just don’t want to be one of those couples who are apart forever, and who take forever to get married, and…  and…  I know we’ll have to wait a little while and I know we’re young but…  but I want family.  I don’t want to… I don’t want to be abandoned again.”  A lone tear brimmed on my right eye.  Damn tears.

His eyes went wide.  “Oh.  I see.  I hadn’t thought of that.  I understand now.”

“You do?”

He took my hand.  “I’m not going anywhere.”

“But -”

“No,” he said, a note of urgency in his voice.  “I’m not going anywhere.  I don’t know what’s going to happen in a couple of years.  But this area has quite a few good colleges.  I think I heard of one or two.”

I giggled in spite of myself.  One of the top colleges in the country was downtown.

“But there’s also distance learning, at least the virus gave us that, and… ” he frowned.  “I was about to make a promise I might not be able to keep.  Let me think about how to say this.”

I waited patiently.  He’s so cute when he thinks.

“Okay,” he said.  “I promise I’m not going to make any decisions without at least discussing it with you.  I promise that if we’re not going to work, we’ll leave each other mutually, but as long as you want me, as long as you want to make this work, as long as you keep loving me like you are and working at it… at us…  I’m not going anywhere.”  His face turned resolute.  “I think I can promise that.”

I thought for a moment.  How could I ask for more from him?  Was I being unfair?  I don’t think I was, but…  but there’s nothing else I could ask.  I couldn’t ask for a better promise than that.  Anything more wouldn’t be fair.

But…  but it was enough.  It was enough.

I put my hand over his.  “Yes,” I said quietly.

“Huh?”, he said as eruditely as I often am.

“Yes, I’ll be your girlfriend.”

He smiled, a genuine smile.

“I’ll promise the same thing,” I said softly.  “Any less wouldn’t be right, and any more wouldn’t be fair.  But I’ll promise that.  As long as you put as much into this as I am, I’m not going anywhere.”  I frowned.  “It’ll be hard,” I said.  “What do we do when it gets rough?”

“I guess…  we get through it?”

I shrugged.  “That’s all we can do.”

The server came at just that moment.  “Would you like some dessert?,” she said.

He smiled, a dazzling smile.  “What’s your richest, most chocolatey dessert?  And how big a slice can you give her?”

I melted.  Oh my God, I melted.  I can’t think of a more perfect thing to say immediately after he becomes my boyfriend.

And OH MY GOD was that a delicious piece of cake.

Anyway, after that, we took the rideshare back home.  I kissed him goodnight and his rideshare took him back to his hotel.

I was floating.  Seriously floating.  Sabby took one look at me.  “You said yes, didn’t you?”

I blushed and nodded.  “I did.”

“You know the risks, right?”

“We didn’t make any promises we can’t keep.  All we promised was to try, and not abandon each other as long as the other person was making the effort.”

She wrapped me in a hug.  “It’s going to be hard.”

“It is,” I said.  “I hope it’s worth it.”

“So do I,” she said.  “You could have chosen worse.  Just… I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Neither do I,” I said, and we let each other go.

“Oh, and Lily?,” She said, smirking.

“Yes?”

“Your dress is riding up.  I’d almost think you put it back on in a hurry.”

I blushed furiously and pulled it down.  “Sabby -”

“I trust you, Lily.  Don’t violate that.  Alright?”

“We went no further than we did in Orlando.  No risk”

She sighed.  “Just…  be careful, okay?”

“I promise,” I said.

[/um_loggedout]

Oh, that was such a nice time.  And I feel so good.  I love him so much.  My… my boyfriend.

My boyfriend.

My…  my wonderful boyfriend.

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEE

Love you all!!! ❤️

This diary entry is part 28 of 32 in Lily's diary dated 05 - November 2021

 Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

There is subscriber only content in this post.

OMG what a day it was!

So as I mentioned, today we went to Universal Studios.  It was fun.  I don’t think it was quite as fun for Grace as Disney was – she kept asking where all her favorite characters were, and we had to tell her they all hung out at Disney and Universal was a different park.  After a while she seemed to accept it.  We got her some choc’late ice cream, and that seemed to mollify her.  I really liked Diagon Alley.  Jack and I made up our own spells, and by the end we were just falling over laughing.  Liz just smirked.  That girl has such a great sense of comedic timing.  She just waited until we were all done, and then waved her fake wand at us and shouted “Sappius Lovicus”, and we fell over laughing again.  It was hilarious.  There was so much to see we could have spent a whole week there, but I guess that will have to wait for another time.

At dinnertime we went to Universal Citywalk and ate at an Italian place.  I love Italian food!  It’s not really heavy on the chocolate, but it’s still delicious!

After dinner we got back to the hotel, and Liz went off to practice violin.  I told her not to come back for a couple of hours, and asked Jack to come over.  He did, and I sat down with him on the couch, and we snuggled up together.

“I’m going to miss you,” I said quietly.  “We’re going to say goodbye and you’ll leave and I’ll cry and my heart will break and I don’t know how I’m going to get through the next week.”

He was silent for a moment.  “You’re still an amazing girl,” he said, softly.  “You’ll have Sabby and Beth and Liz and they’ll help you get through it.  And we’ll still talk.  Either we’ll get out of touch and I’ll find someone else and you’ll find someone else… or we won’t and someday we’ll meet again and then we won’t have to worry about being apart anymore.”  My breath hitched.  “I read your site last night.  Sabby was right.  We shouldn’t make promises we can’t keep.  I would have promised you things too, things I couldn’t deliver.  At least not right now.”

I felt a tear leak out of my eye.  He wiped it away.

“But there are promises we can keep.”

I laid my head against his chest.  I could hear his heart beat.

“I promise….”, he said..  “I promise to never forget you.”  I could hear his voice shaking.  “No matter what happens, no matter if we end up together, or apart, no matter if both of us end up with different partners, no matter how old I am and how old you are, no matter anything… anything at all…” his voice took on a tone that involuntarily made me start to cry,  “I won’t forget you.  And you will always, always, be my first love.”

I couldn’t help it.  I was blubbering.  All of the emotions were warring inside me, and all I could to was reach up and kiss him, kiss him with everything I had, everything that was inside me, nothing held back, nothing reserved.

“I…  I promise the same, Jack.  I can keep that promise.  Because you will always be my first love.”

He and I just laid there, my head on his chest, his hand on my back, and we forgot about everything but each other.  Until we both woke up, there was a blanket over us, and Liz was sitting in her bed reading a book.  I looked at her drowsily, and stretched.  Jack woke up to my movement.

“Finally awake, lovebirds?,” she said amusedly.

We both blushed.

She closed her book and walked over to sit next to us.  “I’m happy for the both of you.  Jack, you’re family, and Lily, you’re my best friend, and I love both of you.”  She sighed.  “Honestly, I’m a bit jealous.  I got a few nice kisses out of the guy at the front desk but there’s nothing there.  You two…  there’s something else there.  Something I really wish I had.”  She looked wistful.

I sat up, rubbing my eyes a bit.  Thankfully not too much time had passed.

“Jack, you need to go back to your room.  I won’t tell anyone.  You have to say goodbye tomorrow.  I understand.  But your parents probably wouldn’t like that you two were alone together.”

Jack gave me a quick kiss, and left.

I sighed.

Liz sat down next to me.  “I don’t know what it’s like, Lily.  You’re obviously completely and utterly besotted.  Are you going to be okay?”  She touched my shoulder.

“No,” I said, softly.  “I won’t.  I’ll never be okay again.”

She took my in her arms and put my head against her chest.  “I’m sorry, Lily.  I’m sooo sorry.”

And I cried.  And cried.  And cried.

We hadn’t even said goodbye yet and I was already feeling my heart breaking.

“Liz?”

“Yes?”

“Who does he have?  To support him?”

Liz frowned.

“Remember what you said about him being family?”

She nodded.

“And remember what I said about him teaching me how to love?”

Realization dawned on her face.

“He’s lonely, Liz.  I have you and Sabby and Dave and Beth.  Who does he have?  He doesn’t think his parents understand.  I don’t know if he’ll go to them.  Who’s going to help him with this?”

She sighed.  “I need to go talk to my parents.”

The door opened, and Liz was gone.

I was sitting there.  Alone.

And I put my head in my hands.

And cried.

This diary entry is part 26 of 32 in Lily's diary dated 05 - November 2021

HI!  IT’S ME!  LILY!

As with every other post in this part of my diary, there is a PG13 post that is available to subscribers that contains significantly more detail that is appropriate for teenagers and young adults, but not younger readers.  This post is safe for younger readers.  Still, as always, parents, please read first!

And it’s THANKSGIVING!!!

Well, nothing traditional this year, I think.  It’s a “free day” here today – nothing’s really scheduled except for meals.  We got to swim in the pool, or use the hot tub, or take walks, or read, or whatever we want.  There wasn’t even a “family” breakfast, we could just go eat whenever.  It’s nice to have one or two days during a vacation to just… vacay?  

I did my run in the morning as usual.  Jack wasn’t there, I guess he took a break.  Don’t blame him.  After which I got a shower and breakfast.  I texted Jack after.  He didn’t respond.  I guess he was sleeping in.  Don’t blame him for that either.  Liz was getting in some early violin practice.

So I just decided to do a little research for this site, and do some reading, and just kind of relax.  I love going places, but it’s nice to just… not… for a bit.  Finally, a little while later, Jack texted me.

Can I come by?

I paused.

Okay.  We shouldn’t be alone.  Behave.  Please.

Promise, he said.  I just want to talk.

OK, I said.

Soon I heard a knock on the door and he came in.  Finally he sat on the little sofa.  He looked pensive.

I sat down next to him and he lifted his arm, wordlessly inviting me to come cuddle with him.  You didn’t have to tell me twice!  I tucked my legs under my body, he pulled me tight and it was the best feeling in the world.  We just stayed like that for a bit.

Finally he spoke.

“This is nice,” he said, softly.  I had to agree.  “Let’s talk.”

“What about?”, I asked.  I shifted to be a little more comfortable, and his arm tightened around me.  Oh, this was nice.

“I told you were amazing.  But I couldn’t tell you why.  Not there.”

I reached up and booped his nose.  “Okay.  So tell me why I’m amazing.” I mimed a notepad, and he laughed.

“So let me see if I understand your story.  You were found on the side of the road a year ago.  You had no memories, nothing but the clothes off your back, nowhere to go, no friends, no family.  Nothing.  They found you a foster family.  They took you in.  The kids hated you, you spent at least a week just crying your eyes out.  I can’t imagine how lonely that must have been.”  He chucked darkly.  “And I know lonely.”

I nodded.  A tear started to form.  When you put it that way…

“And yet, here you are. On a vacation with your best friend and her family, cuddled up with a boy you.. like?”  He looked at me questioningly.  I nodded.  “You’ve won over Beth, and even David, Dave and Sabby have adopted you, it looks like Liz’s parents have unofficially adopted you, you’ve found skills you didn’t know you had, and…  you still somehow manage to be happy and bubbly through it all.”  He sighed.  “I think that makes you the most amazing girl I’ve ever met.  Even if I weren’t attracted to you, I’d think that.  The fact that you’re so incredibly cute is just icing on the cake, to me.”

I was quiet.  I had to process what he was saying.

“When I first met you, yes, I thought you were very cute.  You said your legs were freakishly long, but I think that is gorgeous.  You said your face is too round, but I love it just the way it is.  But…  then I read your story, and now I don’t just think you’re cute.  I think you’re amazing.  I don’t think you’re amazing because you’re cute.  I think you’re amazing because you’re amazing.”

And I think it was right then that I actually fell for him.  Head over heels.  I almost felt my heart go “thoomp” as something fell into the emptiness that I didn’t know was there and it shone with completeness.

“This is one of the problems with having my site,” I said softly.  “You know so much about me and I know so little about you.”

“What do you want to know?”, he said.

“How you got to be so amazing,” I murmured.

He chuckled darkly.  “Lily, you’re not the only one who’s struggled.  After reading your site, I think that’s the only thing I’d even come close to criticizing about you.  You’ve struggled mightily, and you have had a lot of pain.  And I would too!  But other people struggle too, Lily.  Everyone has their own pains and their own troubles and their own problems, and some of them are pretty bad.  Other people cry themselves to sleep, other people hurt, and some people,” did he actually sniffle, “would give everything to have what you have.  I don’t mean just Dave and Sabby… but I mean freedom.  From the memories…”

And that’s when I learned, for the first time, that boys cry.

I kind of knew it before, academically.  But Dave is always so reserved, and David is nine, of course he’s going to cry every now and then.  But this was a sixteen year old boy, and the tears started streaming down his face, and what was I going to do?  Well, the only thing I could do.  I took him in my arms and I held him and I let him cry it out.  I stroked his hair and my heart broke for him.

“I’m so embarrassed,” he said finally, wiping his nose with a tissue I pulled out of a box next to the sofa.  “Boys aren’t supposed to…”

“Ssssh,” I said softly.  “It’s alright.  Are your parents -?”

“No,” he said.  “They love me.  They just don’t understand.  They think everything’s alright.  They always have.”

“Tell them,” I said.  “If you trust them.”

He nodded. “I do.  I think.”

“Then tell them.  And if they don’t, tell someone.  Don’t hold this inside.”

“You are amazing,” he said softly.

“Let’s go for a walk,” I said.

And we did.  It was different now.  We walked around outside the hotel in the Florida heat and humidity, and we held hands, and we talked.  We talked about everything.  Sometimes we were just quiet and stole looks at each other, and it was perfect.  Absolutely perfect.

It was only five days and I’d fallen for him.  Completely and utterly, head over heels, fallen for him.  Oh no.  Oh no oh no.  We’re going to have to split in a few days, and I already know my heart is going to shatter into little tiny pieces.  Oh no.

For lunch, the hotel put out a Thanksgiving feast.  They had all the fixins.  Turkey, cranberry sauce, gravy, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie, the works.  We all sat in the dining area and got ourselves some heaping plates of food.  Their tradition, apparently, was to go around the table and to say things they were thankful for.

Grace didn’t really understand the concept.  It was hard to explain it.  Finally she said “I’m thankful for Dithney an’ my daddy and my mommy an’ auntie Lily an’ choc’late!!!”  Girl after my own heart.

When it came Jack’s turn he said “I’m thankful for…” he was quiet.  “For my family and…  Lily.  Every boy needs to meet an amazing girl like her at least once in his life.”

Everyone went “awwww” and he blushed mightily.  But he didn’t take it back.

Finally it came around to me.

I was quiet for a moment.  “I’m thankful for…  for Dave and Sabby and my new sister Beth and David and… and my best friend Liz and her parents.  And for my new friend Grace.”  She grinned broadly and said “Friendth, auntie Lily!”. 

I continued, “I’m thankful for having new memories to replace the ones I’ve lost, and new family to replace the family I lost, and…”  and I paused for just a second.  “And for Jack, who…  who taught me how to love.”

I blushed so hard… and Jack’s breath hitched.  I’m not sure anyone else was expecting that, but Grace again to the rescue.  “CAN WE EAT NOW?”  she said loudly, and I chuckled.  “Thank you Grace,” I whispered.  She just grinned broadly.  And we ate.  We ate well, and heartily.  I didn’t see any reason to steal glances at Jack anymore.  I knew he was there, and that was plenty for me.

Later, Liz’s mother took me aside.  “You’ve fallen for him, haven’t you?”

I sighed.  “Head over heels,” I said, blushing.

She smiled. “He’s a good boy.  And you’re a good girl.  I hope it works out.  But long distance is hard.  Very hard.  And you’re both still so young.  Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”  She gave me a hug.

I hugged her back, but I was already lost in thought.  Don’t make promises you can’t keep.

…

Oh no.

I talked to Sabby.  Everyone was home from their trips.  Dave and David caught a few fishes, Beth looked amazing with her makeover and she and Sabby talked about a lot of stuff.  Sabby asked me about Jack and I told her everything.

She was happy for me.  She repeated that every girl needs a vacation romance once in her life, and she completely understood why I’d fallen so hard for him.  But she had a warning that matched Liz’s mother, and I was again lost in thought.  “Don’t make promises you can’t keep”.

They were soooo right.  I would have promised him almost anything.  I would have promised him that I’d wait for him, and that we’d get together in the future, and that we’d be a happy family with two kids and a white picket fence and everything that both of us was missing. But we’re still young.  That’s a promise I can’t keep, and neither can he.  Oh my God, Sabby is soooo wise.

But it doesn’t change the fact that I’ve fallen hard for Jack.  The fact that I’d even want to make those promises…  no.  Oh no oh no oh no.

LOVE YOU ALL!!! ❤️

This diary entry is part 25 of 32 in Lily's diary dated 05 - November 2021

HI!  IT’S ME!  LILY!!!

As with the past couple of days, a version of this entry that is only available to subscribers is up.  While this entry is as safe as possible for younger viewers, that entry is most definitely PG13.  Please sign up if you want to read it.  And as always, parents, please read first!

This morning everything was the same, but different.  I got kissed yesterday!  Not just a little kiss, but properly kissed!  Like in the movies!  I don’t feel any different today, but I feel very different at the same time.  Jack is such a nice boy and he kisses well too!

I went down for my run and Jack was there.  But I decided to just ignore him and run.  I think I attacked that treadmill like Grace did her waffle yesterday.  I just ran and ran until I lost track of time.  Until I felt a gentle touch on the small of my back.

I looked back, and there was Jack.  I removed my earbud.

“We’re getting breakfast soon.”

I nodded and started my cool down routine.  He looked at me with a look I couldn’t quite read.  It was a different look than yesterday.  There was a… sadness… in it I haven’t seen before.  Without another word, he sauntered out of the room.

Y’know, it’s funny.  When you first arrive at a new place everything’s so fresh and new, but eventually even the best things get old… or at least normal.  At breakfast, I went to the buffet, and actually got some stuff without chocolate.  I love chocolate!  I don’t want it to think I’m cheating on it!  But sometimes you just feel like eating something else.  I did get some hot chocolate, but I had some scrambled eggs and syrup, some sausage, and a couple of pancakes with fruit.  Still delicious.

Grace had a cut up waffle and a sliced up piece of sausage.  She was chattering about how great a time she had yesterday.

I was eating, and Jack said, quietly, “I read your site last night.”

I turned red.  I couldn’t help it.  “All of it?”

“All of it.  I even signed up as a subscriber.  I read that too.  Nice pic of you in your swimsuit, by the way.”

I blushed harder, and gulped.  “And…?”

“And I was right.  You’re amazing.”

Oh God I melted.  I just melted.  I turned into a little Lily puddle and felt like I was going to slide out of my chair and oh my God.

“I’m…  amazing?”, I said, not quite trusting my ears.

He nodded.  “You’re amazing.  You’ve been through so much.  So many tears,” he said quietly.  Everyone else at the table had stopped speaking and was listening to him, even if they were trying to pretend they weren’t.  He blushed a little, but soldiered on.  “So many tears, and you’re still amazing.”

I felt flustered.  “I…  I don’t know what to say.”

Liz’s mother spoke up.  “I think ‘thank you’ would be in order, dear.”

I lowered my head, not really embarrassed but just flattered at his words.  “Thank you,” I murmured.

Grace, thank GOD, spoke up right at that moment.  ‘I GOTTA POOP!”  The huge smile on her face completely belied the earth shattering importance of her statement.

We all laughed.  The tension was broken.  Her mother came and got her and took her to the bathroom.  I couldn’t look at Jack anymore.  I just couldn’t.  Every time I did, I blushed.

After breakfast, we packed up our swimsuits and beach stuff and packed ourselves into the car.  Jack and Liz traded places, so we could sit together.  Liz is being soooo nice about the whole thing, it’s amazing.  I asked her about that last night, and all she’d say was “You’ve been through a lot.  You need some good things in your life.  I don’t want to take this away from you.”

I love Liz.

Turns out Florida has lots of lakes, and quite a few around Orlando.  We drove to one of the larger ones.  The adults had all chipped in and rented a boat, and a nice one too.  Jack and I spent the entire trip there talking and holding hands.  He asked me about some of the stuff I’d talked about here, and I answered.  I couldn’t quite read the look on his face, but it was softer than yesterday, somehow.  Like there was some emotion that neither of us quite understood.  Every now and then he’d rub my hand with his thumb and I’d just melt.  He was just looking ahead and out the window and sometimes at me with that look that made me just crumble all over again…

Oh God, Sabby was right.  Sabby was soooooo right.  Liz’s mother was right.  Everyone was right.  I didn’t think I wanted a boyfriend but I’d give a lot to have this every day.

Oh no.  I’m in soooo much trouble.

Finally we got on the boat.  the lake was soooo beautiful and the air smelled soooo good!  I even forgot about Jack for a while!  We made our way back to the beach and I stripped down to my swimsuit and waded into the lake.  Liz and Jack and Grace and I splashed and swam and had such a great time!  Finally everything calmed down, and I laid in one of the sunbeds soaking up some sun.  I know the sun can be dangerous but it’s sooo nice.  Jack was near but he wasn’t within touching distance.  I flipped over, and suddenly I heard the squirting of suntan lotion and felt hands on my back.  I struggled to look and heard Jack’s voice.

“Ssssh,” he said.  “Your back needs sunscreen.”

Oh no oh no oh no oh… yes.  Oh yes.  I relaxed into the sunbed and turned to putty.  I think he kept going a little longer than he had to, but finally he stopped.  Why didn’t anyone tell me it was so nice to have your crush put suntan lotion on you?

“Do you need your legs done?,” he asked innocently.

“No.  Thank you.  I’m okay.”  He audibly shrugged and went off to catch some rays of his own.

After an hour or so, after I’d drifted off into a sleepy haze, he came over and said that it was time for dinner.  I got up and put my street clothes on, and we packed up and piled into the car.  He held my hand some more and it was the nicest thing ever.

After dinner we went back to the hotel.  Jack and I shared a goodnight kiss.  We both went back into our rooms.  Liz was practicing violin and would be for about an hour, and I…  I couldn’t think straight. I just kept thinking bout Jack, and how it made me feel when he was holding my hands.  I sighed and laid there, just trying to get a handle on how I felt.

It wasn’t love.  At least not really love.  I think we had gotten to know each other and we really liked each other and I think it could be something if we weren’t a thousand miles apart most of the time.  And that look he was giving me all day, it wasn’t just about my body, I’m sure of it.  He read this site and still thought I was amazing.  But today…  he held my hand and rubbed suntan lotion on my back and kissed me, and I loved it.  It made me want a boyfriend for the first time in my life.  That I can remember, anyway.

I hope he reads this tonight.  I hope he does.  We need to talk about it.

Edit:  He read it.  He texted me just two words before I went to sleep.  “I agree.”

LOVE YOU ALL!!!  ❤️

This diary entry is part 24 of 32 in Lily's diary dated 05 - November 2021

HI!  IT’S ME!  LILY!

As with last time, there is a subscriber-only content in this post which has a little more detail geared towards teenagers and young adults.  This one is for younger readers.  As always, though, parents please do read first!

Such a confused Lily.

So last night after I wrote my post, I did my nightly stuff, got into my pajamas, and went to bed  Liz was already in bed and snoring in the other bed.  She’s even pretty when she sleeps!  It’s not fair!  It wasn’t too late, but it was a long day.

I was just settling in when my phone buzzed.  I looked at it, and there was a message.

Lily?

It was Jack!  OMG!!!  I forgot that we exchanged contact info that morning!

It’s me, I typed back.

There was a long pause.

Can we talk?

In the morning, I replied.

There was another pause.  Okay.  Goodnight.

Goodnight, I replied.  I put the phone down, turned out the light. and was asleep within seconds.

That morning, before my run, I texted Jack.

I’m in the lobby.  Come see me if you want to talk.

There was no reply, but five minutes later I felt someone sit down next to me.

“Hi,” he said, quietly.

“Hi,” I said.  My hands fidgeted in my lap.

“My father had a long talk with me last night.”

“Liz’s mother had a talk with me, too.”

He was quiet.

I couldn’t stand it anymore and the words just started gushing.  “I’m sorry Jack I know we just met but I’m so attracted to you and I don’t know why and I know it’s not love but I loved our time last night and I don’t want it to end and Sabby warned me and…”  a tear leaked out of my eye.  “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”  I wiped the tear away with the back of my hand and sniffled.

There appeared to be a war going on in Jack’s face.  So many different expressions were battling with each other.  Finally he turned his head and looked at me.  He looked just as uncomfortable as I felt.

“I didn’t either, Lily.  I’ve thought you were amazing since the first time I laid eyes on you.  There’s… just something about you.”  He sighed.  “This is so awkward.”

I giggled.  “Why would we think it’d be anything but?  Would it be like one of those books my sister is always reading, where the boy and the girl just see each other and it’s love at first sight and a year later they’re getting married?”  I scoffed.  “I don’t think it works like that.”

He took my hand and rubbed the back of it with his thumb.  If he did that much more I was going to just melt.

“There’s something here,” he said.  “Maybe nothing, maybe something, maybe everything.”  He looked at me, his eyes boring into mine.  “I’d like to find out.”

OMG.  His eyes.  His…  EEP!  He put his finger under my chin, lifted it, and pecked me on the lips.  Nothing deep, just a peck…  and it was everything.  He pulled his face back, and let go of my hand.  “I’d like to find out,” he repeated, then he stood up and went off to the exercise room.

I don’t think I moved for like five minutes, my mind was whirling and everything was spinning around all topsy-turvy, and you could have hit me with a feather and I’d have fallen over.  Finally I shook my head and ran off to the exercise room.  I had to get my exercise for the day.

Somehow I pulled myself together in time for breakfast.  Grace was a wonderful distraction anyway, she had another waffle that her mother had cut into little bites and put some fruit and syrup on it, and she was shoveling it down like an excavator on a construction site (how’s that for an analogy?). Between bites she was chattering on and on about all of the characters she met the day before.  Apparently she ran into Gaston and gave him a piece of her mind!  All the adults were laughing but she defended Belle’s honor like you wouldn’t believe!  Belle even came over and thanked her, but promised she had Gaston well in hand.  There’s no fury like an angry four year old!

After breakfast we went back to Disney World. This would be our last day there, but everyone agreed that one day wasn’t enough to see the whole thing.  This time Grace’s parents wanted a little time to themselves, so she was put in the care of me, Liz, and Jack.  As we walked around the park, she was chattering and bouncing around everywhere.  Every time she saw a character she liked she insisted  on going to talk to it.  We got her some ice cream (choc’late, of course) and she ate her ice cream and chattered and was just having a grand time.  A part of me was jealous, actually.  To her, the park was magic, it was real, and I didn’t remember any of that magic in my own life.

Jack could tell something was bothering me.  He didn’t know what, but he squeezed my hand anyway.  I gave him a grateful look.

This time we just had whatever lunch we felt like having.  So the four of us found a little fast food place and had some (honestly pretty good) burgers.  Grace got a kid’s meal, and was bubbling and burbling with happiness as she munched.

As we walked the park, I could tell Grace was getting tired, so I picked her up.  She fell asleep in my arms!  How adorable!  I had Jack call his parents and find a place to meet them so we could hand her off.  That accomplished, the sun was setting and it was time for the fireworks again.  Yet again, Liz had to use the bathroom, and I was seriously starting to think she was doing it on purpose.  Spoiler:   She absolutely was.

As the fireworks were popping off, he looked at me.  “Lily, do you remember this morning?”

“How could I forget?  You kissed me!  I couldn’t concentrate after that!  I… mmmmmmm.”  He kissed me again.

This time it wasn’t a peck.  It was a real, honest to goodness kiss.

It was soooo nice.  Finally, I laid my head on his shoulder and he stroked my hair.  It felt soooooo good.

“Lily?,” he said, quietly.

“Hmm?,” I said, my power of speech quite handily taken away from me.

“That was my first kiss.”

“Mine too.”

“Was it good?”

I chuckled and disentangled myself from him.  “Jack, I know for a fact I will remember that kiss for the rest of my life.”

He reached up and moved a stray wisp of hair out of my eye.  “So will I.”

The fireworks had just ended and Liz came running up.  “Hey!  Are you –  YOU KISSED, DIDN’T YOU?”

We both blushed mightily.

“YOU DID!!!!!  OMG!!!  Was it good?  Lily, you have to tell me all about it!!!”

I looked helplessly at Jack.  “It’s a girl thing,” I said apologetically.  He just waved his hand.

“Girls gonna girl,” he said sagely.  All of us cracked up.

Before we stood up, I whispered in Jack’s ear, “It was a wonderful kiss.  If you want to kiss me again…  I think I’d like that.”

He squeezed my hand and we both stood up.  We found the adults and took the shuttle back to the hotel.  We had a nice dinner, and then Liz went to practice violin.  Jack and I just sat in the lobby.  He held my hand but we didn’t dare kiss there.  We just talked.  We talked about everything.  I told him about what happened after I was found, and how Dave and Sabby adopted me, how Liz became my friend, and how Beth became my sister.  He told me how he was bullied in school, and had a few girls he liked but none of them like him, and how sad and lonely he was sometimes.  At one point during his story I gave him a hug.  He looked genuinely uncomfortable.

Turns out he doesn’t get many hugs.

I resolved to help him make up for lost time, at least for the next few days.  And I was going to talk to Liz’s parents about that too.

I showed him where to find this site.  That was a gamble on my part.  But I’m going to make it available to the public, at least I can make it available to my first crush.

Finally, it was time for us to go back to our rooms.  He walked me to mine.  He took my hand and gave me a very brief, gentle, but meaningful kiss.  Then he went off to his room.

I felt like I was floating.  Floating on air.  It was such a wonderful feeling.  He kissed me!  And we talked, and got to know each other, and…  it was soooo wonderful!  Why do I not want a boyfriend again?  I don’t remember!  Something about wanting to know who I am?  I still feel that way, but… but…  it’s so amazing!

Liz came in a little while later and demanded to know everything.  So we talked and giggled and I felt so much like a girl.  Like a real bona fide normal loved girl.

I called Sabby before bedtime and we chatted.  I told her everything.  She was a little concerned but told me that she knew I’d make the right decisions and that she trusts me.  She also told me that she was happy for me.  Every girl needs to have at least one vacation romance in her life, and she thinks I picked a good one.

So do I.

Goodnight!  Tomorrow we’re doing something different!!! 

LOVE YOU ALL!!!! ❤️ 

This diary entry is part 23 of 32 in Lily's diary dated 05 - November 2021

HI!  IT’S ME!  LILY! 

There is subscriber content available in this post.

Oh Florida is soo much fun!!!!  I’m so glad that Liz and her parents brought me along!  Even if some things are sooo confusing!

So this morning I put on my exercise clothes and went to the exercise room to run, because I don’t know the area here.  They have a great exercise room!  And there was Jack!  He was running too!  He had no shirt on and… and…  omg!  I avoided looking at him and found a running machine and started my exercise.

I forgot about him for a while and started running and zoning out like I usually do, it was just me and my music and my headphones, when I felt a tap on my shoulder.  I turned and looked, and it was him!  I took out a earbud and was still running.  He was watching me with what I can only describe as an enraptured look.  I’ve seen that look before.  It’s the same look I got when I lost my top at the waterpark.  Except this was more… personal, somehow.

“Yes?,” I said, trying to sound nonchalant.  Hard to do when you’re being stared at like a particularly fluffy piece of chocolate cake.

“Want to get breakfast?,” he said.  “They have a buffet.”

“Give me a half hour,” I said.  “I need to finish my run and cool down.”

He nodded.  “We’ll be in the dining area in half an hour.  Grace wants to say hi to her ‘auntie Lily’,” he said bemusedly.

“Why does she call me that?”

He shrugged.  “Ask her.  She’s four.  I don’t know why she does half the things she does.”

I nodded and put my earbud in, mentally dismissing him.  Or trying to, anyway.

A half hour or so later, after finishing my run and having a quick shower, I headed over to the dining area.  Everyone else was waiting for me, and Grace a little impatiently, and now that I was there, we went in and ordered the buffet.  So much food!  I know at some cheaper hotels they have free breakfast, but this one didn’t.  But it was soooo delicious!  They had such great food!  I was so happy, they had chocolate waffles and chocolate syrup and hot chocolate!!!  I sat down with my heaping plate, and Jack smirked at me.

“Like the chocolate, huh?”

I laughed.  “Don’t get between me and chocolate.  You might get whatever is in my way bitten off!”

“Noted,” he said, with a smirk.  Everyone laughed.  They think I was kidding.

Grace had a small plate of stuff, and she was wearing her mouse ears and a princess outfit, but with a towel over it so she didn’t get food everywhere.  She didn’t quite have using the fork down but she was good enough to get the food into her little mouth.  She was soooo excited. 

Jack asked me about myself, and I told him I didn’t have any memories past a year or so ago.

He frowned.  “No memories at all?”

“I know, I’m a freak,” I said quietly.  Where did that come from?

“No,” he said.  “I kind of envy you.”

I took a bite of chocolate waffle.  “You envy me?”, I said.

He nodded.  “The thing about memories is the good ones are really good and you want to keep them, but the bad ones you just want to get rid of and never think of again.  Like…  like getting rejected by girls,” he looked at me meaningfully.  “Or other things.  We all get the good ones and the bad ones, and we like the good ones and hate the bad ones.  But you…  you don’t get either.  You don’t get the good ones, but the bad ones are gone too.”  He frowned, and sipped on his orange juice.  “Maybe you got the better end of the deal.”

I frowned.  That was a really good way of thinking about it.  “Maybe I did,” I said quietly.  “But I still think I’d rather have them all.”

He nodded.  “I don’t think I’d want to give mine up,” he said.  “No matter how bad some of them are.  The good ones are better.”  He frowned.  “Like meeting you.”

“What do you mean?”

He looked shy.  “That’s a good memory.”  I blushed.

I asked him about himself.  He told me he lives up north, in Ohio or some place like that.  Where it’s getting cold and snows a lot.  He likes it there, but…  I don’t know.  When he talks about it, he seems a little sad.  Or lonely.  Or something.  He doesn’t seem poorly adjusted or anything like that, just…  just lonely.  I wonder what his story is.

I asked Grace what her favorite thing is.

“Choc’late,” she said, without even hesitating.  “I love choc’late.  Choc’late candy an’ choc’late milkthakes an’ choc’late thyrup an’ choc’late ithe cream an’ choc’late everything!” she said proudly.  She was so little she still had trouble pronouncing some words, and it was terribly cute.

“Me too!,” I said, beaming.  “I love chocolate too!!!”

She beamed.  “I like you auntie Lily.  You’re nithe”

“I’m not your auntie,” I said gently.

“No,” she said, “but you’re old an’ you’re nithe an’ I like you an’ I want to call you auntie.”  She declared it like it was truth and I was just along for the ride.  “Tho you’re auntie Lily.”

Jack spoke up.  “She doesn’t like everyone,” he said softly.  “I’ve learned to trust her judgement.  If she likes you, you’re worth liking.”  He turned a little red.  “That’s what I meant last night.”

“Well, then,” I said, “I’m honored to be your auntie Lily.”  My eyes were just a little moist.  What was happening to me?  “I think we’ll be good friends.”

“Friendth!”, she said, with a wide grin that showed a smile with most of her baby teeth.  She went back to attacking her waffle like it had insulted her and taken her teddy bear.

After breakfast we all packed up and took the shuttle to Disney World.  Grace was so excited she was bouncing around and chattering nonstop about how she wanted to meet Mickey and Minnie and Pluto and all her favorite princesses and other characters.  The thing was, to her, all those characters were real.  Utterly, completely real.  When she met them, she’d be meeting the actual characters, and it’d never even occur to her that they weren’t what they claimed to me.

That’s really the innocence of childhood.  It’s not just being trusting, it’s not being able to tell the difference between fantasy and reality.  I sniffled a bit thinking about it.  That’s where magic comes from.

After we got there, and got through the ticket area, we made sure all of us had each other’s contact information, so we could call or text if needed.  Then we split up.  Liz, Jack and I went off to do our thing, Grace and her parents went off to make sure Grace got to see all the things (and characters) she wanted, and Liz’s parents just wanted to stroll around and see the sights.  I kind of wanted to hang out with Grace, but I guess I’d deal with hanging around with Liz and Jack.  Yes, hanging out with my best friend and a hot boy who was clearly into me would be such a horrible fate.

Oh no.  Oh NO.

So we spent the day just walking around and seeing the sights and chatting amongst ourselves.  I rode a couple of roller coasters but the lines were sooooo long.  Early afternoon we all got together for lunch, and while it was a bit overpriced, it was pretty good.  After that we wandered around a little more, until the sun started to go down.  I’d heard there were fireworks and wanted to see them, and we found a good place to sit.  Liz looked at me and Jack, said she had to go to the bathroom, and left.

We were sitting close.  What was happening to me?  I caught him sneaking glances at me.  I called him out on it.

“Why do you keep sneaking glances at me?”

He turned red.  “Same reason you keep sneaking glances at me.”  Even through his blush, he smirked a little.

“Oh.”

He was quiet for a bit.  “I just met you.  But you’re really pretty.  And nice.  And Grace likes you.”

“Me?,” I said, “with the freakishly long legs and the round face and…”  I trailed off as the first flashes of fireworks appeared in the sky. “Oh, that’s beautiful,” I said, having forgotten all about my long legs and round face.

“It is,” he said.  But I looked at him.  He wasn’t looking at the fireworks.  I found myself turning red and stammering.  “I – I…”

He tentatively put his arm around my waist.  I jumped at his touch  It felt soooo good and soooo awkward and…  and I just leaned my head against his shoulder and sighed.  It was perfect.  Absolutely perfect.  Oh no..

“What was I saying?,” I murmured.  I heard his laugh rumble through his body, and it made me shiver.  And so warm inside.  It was like there was this part of me that was missing and it was right there, where he touched me.

We watched the fireworks together, his arm around my waist, my head on his shoulder.  I could feel him breathing, smell him…  I couldn’t help it.  I melted.  It was the best feeling I’d ever experienced, just being with him like that.  I barely knew him!  But…

Oh no.  Is this what Sabby was talking about?  Is this what she meant about…  my heart betraying me?  I didn’t want it to end.  I’d only met him yesterday and it was so fast and…  I didn’t want it to ever end.

But like everything, it had to.  Right when the show ended, Liz showed up with a smirk on her face.

“Getting to know each other?”, she said, with a giggle in her voice.

We both blushed, and I quickly but very reluctantly pulled my head off his shoulder.  We both stood up and we went to find the rest of the group for our shuttle ride back.  He took my hand.  I didn’t resist.  Grace was tired, and had fallen asleep in her mother’s arms.  It was sooo cute.  The adults noticed us holding hands.  Liz’s father’s eyebrow went up, but they didn’t say anything.

We got back to the hotel, and our goodnight was soooo awkward.  He didn’t know what to do any more than I did.  Finally he just gave my cheek a light peck and went up to his room.  I just touched my cheek, my eyes wide.

I ran back to my room and flopped down on the bed. I heard a knock on the door.  When I opened it, there was Liz’s mother.

“Can I come in?,” she said.  She was fidgeting.  I nodded.  She sat primly on one of the chairs at the fancy desk we had.

“Jack’s father is talking with him as well,” she said.  “I’m not your mother… or Sabby,” she said quickly, “But we’re kind of in loco parentis right now… that means acting like your parents.”

I turned red and nodded.

She fidgeted.  “I thought I’d be having this talk with Zhi Ruo first,” she said.

I saw my chance to get Liz back. “You might want to anyway, there’s this guy at the front desk…”

She looked surprised.  “Really now?  I’ll have to keep that in mind.  But…  about Jack.  We saw the two of you holding hands.  Be careful, okay?”

I nodded.  “I will.  Sabby already made me promise.”

She blew out a breath.  “Good.  I don’t need to say anything more.  As long as you just hold hands and make googy eyes at each other, there’s nothing wrong with a little vacation romance.  Now -“

I fell over laughing.

“What?”, she said, looking puzzled.

“That’s exactly what Liz said.”

Her mother grinned.  “Yes, I imagine so.  Now, as I was saying, and doubly so now,  if you’ll pardon me, I need to talk to Zhi Ruo.”  She left with no further comment.

A half hour later, Liz came in, beet red.  She stomped over to me and punched my arm.

“Ow!,” I exclaimed.  I didn’t need to ask her what that was for.

“Why did you tell my mother about the guy at the front desk?  She just spent fifteen minutes giving me a refresher course on being careful with boys.  I could have just died!”

“You had it coming for Jack,” I said, rubbing my arm.  Girl packed a punch.  “I love you, Liz, but you can be pretty awful sometimes.”

She deflated.  “I guess.”  She flopped onto her bed.  “Did she give you a talk too?”

“Yeah.”  I didn’t say anything else.

“You got it bad, don’t you?”

I flopped back on the bed.  “Let me put it this way.  If he wants to kiss me, I won’t stop him.  Not even the littlest tiniest bit.”

Liz squeeed but then her face turned somber  “Just be careful,” she said quietly.

“I will,” I said.  “I promised.”

I called Sabby a little later.  She’d read my post from yesterday.  She told me to have fun, to be careful, and to remember what we talked about.  I understand now.  I didn’t understand before, but I understand now.  It’s not love.  I don’t love him.  It’s too soon to love him.  But if she hadn’t been so insistent, if she hadn’t told me… I would think it was.  And then what?  I told her not to worry.  I also told her about my conversation with Liz’s mother and she seemed grateful.  Both of them had some good advice, and I appreciated it.

On her end, she and Beth were having a smashing time, they had gone to the Galleria, eaten quite a bit, shopped till they dropped, Beth got her makeover, and Sabby was really glad they’d done it.  No word on how many fish Dave and David had caught, but their trip was still early.

Oh no.  Oh no oh no oh no.

LOVE YOU ALL!!!  ❤️

This diary entry is part 27 of 28 in Lily's diary dated 04 - October 2021

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

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This post is rated PG.  I know I have some children who read this, so parents, please read it first!

So today was a day.  Liz stayed over, but went home in the morning.  I went to work, I doot dooted and Karen wrangled and shelf stocked and all the stuff one does at my job.  The owner really likes me.  When I told him I wanted to take some time off for Thanksgiving, he said “Go!  Go!  You’re young!  Enjoy being young!”  Besides, he said, the station will be closed on Thanksgiving anyway.  OMG he is so nice, he even gave me a little money to have fun with!  I love working there!!!

When I got home, Sabby called me and Beth out into the living room and sat us down.

She looked a little unsure of herself.  “Do you remember that talk I gave you?  A while ago?”

“Which talk?,” Beth asked, confused.

I flushed red.  “THE talk, Beth.”  Her skin complexion looks very nice with a blush.

“Well, Lily, you’re going to be away for a week, and I think I need to add something to that talk.  I told you how everything works…  but I didn’t tell you the other part.”

“What other part?  You don’t think I’d do…?”

She sighed.  “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.  Both of you.  I told you how everything works.  What your parts are for and what a boy’s parts are for and what happens when they meet.”

We fidgeted and nodded.

“But I didn’t tell you that when the situation comes up, it will be really difficult to resist.”

“How?”, I asked.  “I don’t want a boyfriend and I don’t want a baby!”

“I know.  I believe you.  But trust me, Lily.  I have two children.  There will come a time when you will meet the right boy, and you will want nothing more, than… to…”

Beth was beet red, now.

“And I’m telling you this in advance because if you’re not expecting it you could make a very bad decision.  There’s nothing wrong with wanting to.  If no one wanted to, there would be no babies.  But…  but…” she put her head in her hands.  “I hate having this talk.  It makes me sound like I don’t trust you.”

“Do you trust us, Sabby?”, I asked.

“Let me put it another way.  Let’s say you took a vow not to eat chocolate.”

“NOT EAT CHOCOLATE?”, I said, scandalized.  “I’d NEVER do that!”

“Just say that you did!,” she said a little forcefully.  I quieted down.  “Now say someone dangled some chocolate in front of you, and said ‘Look at this delicious chocolate.  You can have as much as you want.  It’s natural to want chocolate.’  Would you take it?”

I thought.  “I’d like to say no.”

“But you would.”

I nodded.  “I would.”

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you.  You don’t want a boyfriend or a baby and I completely believe you.  But someday someone might dangle that chocolate in front of you…”

I nodded.  “I think I understand.”

“Do you?”

“My heart might betray me someday.”

She nodded.  “Your body, too.  But exactly that.  Do you understand too, Beth?”

“I think so.”

Sabby sighed.  “I might have to have this talk again with you in a year, when you’ve grown up a bit.  Do you have any questions?”

Both of us shook our heads, blushing like the schoolgirls we are.

“Okay then, let’s have dinner,” she said, and we did.

I wonder what brought that on.  But I guess it was good information.  It’s easy to resist something when you don’t want it.  But when you really, really want it…

Love you all!!! ❤️

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