Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Ummm…  kind of a bittersweet day, if I’m being honest.

We all went to church today.  Several things happened.

The first was, that guy’s wife approached Anathema and apologized (Joe was really on his guard, but stood down after a bit).  She said that she did not think her (soon to be ex) husband would ever behave that way, and nothing she did deserved that.

(I left out some details of what he was, umm… planning.  It wouldn’t have been good and, well… it wouldn’t have been good.  It’s bad enough he is probably going to be denied bond and get quite a few years.  If he can use his leg again, that is.)

She didn’t seem like she wanted to talk much, but the glare was gone.  It was replaced by…  defeat, maybe?

Anyway…  I decided to take the pastor up on his offer.  I don’t know why, but I felt it was the right thing to do.  So, after all the standing up and sitting down and stuff, He introduced me, and I went up to the podium, and looked at the congregation.  It seemed to be half split between people eagerly awaiting what I was going to say and people wondering what the heck I was doing up there.

“It seems…  I have a gift,” I said, a little softly.  “I don’t understand it, and I’ll be honest, I don’t really want it.  But I have it.  Sometimes God… or something… talks through me.  It doesn’t happen all the time, and I never know what I’m going to say when he does.  So…  I guess I’m just going to come up here and give God the chance to speak if he wants.

“And if he doesn’t, well, I’ve got this list of jokes that are almost as bad as the ones Bryan tells…”

The congregation laughed.

“Well, you wanted me up here,” I said, “this is what you get.”

The congregation laughed harder.

“Well, it doesn’t seem like he has a lot to say today, so, and I don’t have a lot of time, so I’ll just say something short.  Over the past few months, I’ve gotten to know a lot of people that, well, most people wouldn’t get to know.  I know quite a few celebrities in Japan.  Heck, I seem to be one, my sisters did something stupid on the train and it went viral, and now they know me as ‘densha onee-chan’.  Train big sister.  I was just over there helping to make a music video, for some reason they thought it’d be a good idea to turn it into an idol song…

I frowned.  “Anyway, there are these girls over there they call idols.  It’s not like the idols in the Bible, they’re just girls that sing and dance and are expected to be cute and funny and approachable.  They’re always smiling and laughing and cheerful, except…  I’ve seen what they’re like when they’re off stage and the cameras are off.  They’re so sad and lonely.  I met one who seemed so sad and forlorn.  She just performed at a concert with thousands of people and they all love her…  and I bet she went back home and cried.  She’s a friend of mine now.  She loves the fact that I care more about what she’s like when thousands of people aren’t watching.

“Don’t put people on a pedestal.  They’re just like you, and no human is meant for that.

“Not even me.  Especially not me.  I just have a gift.  I’m not God.  Don’t make that mistake.  Please.

“I guess that’s all.”

I went and sat down.  The pastor came up and thanked me, and the service continued.

Afterwards, the pastor asked if I was sure that wasn’t God.  I said I’m never sure, but I’m sure he wasn’t directly speaking at the moment.  He said it was pretty good, and we left it at that.

We took Anathema home, and Joe had to go back to his CO and report on the incident last night.  She still felt pretty safe…  Dave’s no military bodyguard, but he’s prepared.

The girls came over a bit later and we had our practice.  Crystal wanted to show me a new song she wrote.  She wrote the melody and everything, and it’s really good.  She called it “My Sisters can’t Save Me, But I Love Them for Trying”.

And that’s pretty much what it was about.  The lyrics were about how things are so dark sometimes and the depression gets overwhelming, but we’re all like a bright spot that lets her get through the day.

Dang, she’s a pretty good songwriter.  A bit rough around the edges, but with a few tweaks, I think we’d all love to perform that.

I still want to see what music she comes up with for “I Love You, You Pink, Frilly Bitch”.

Those lyrics are a lot more angry, but they’re also sweet, too.  I guess that’s Crystal.

Later, Jack and I went out.  We didn’t go back to his place this time, but we did go to a nice restaurant, and then spent a while walking around and talking.  It was a little cold and windy, but we held hands, and that helped a little.  We’re both still a little scared of the future… with and without each other.  But I guess that’s part of growing up.

Yesterday was Chinese New Year.  Liz had plans she couldn’t put off, so we’re going to do something in the next couple of days with our families.

Love you all!!! ❤️