Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!
The girls figured out I was sad. It wasn’t really all that hard, I suppose… usually I’m kinda bouncing around, but today I just felt like there was a haze over my eyes, and I didn’t really feel like playing or doing anything. And the sniffling and wiping my eyes might have been a small clue…
I got lots of hugs… I love that, but they didn’t help all that much. It… just made me cry harder. Who’ll hug me when I’m in Japan and all by myself, and everyone I know and love will be ten thousand miles away???
It was Yuki and her friends that really helped, though.
Of all my friends, they’re the ones who’ve graduated.
You know how I sometimes tell my friends to “spill”? Well, they pulled that on me, this time. Yuki sat me down, and said “spill.”
I mean… it’s only fair, right?
“I’m graduating soon,” I said, sadly. “I feel like everything’s going to end.”
Yuki thought for a moment. “Maybe some things will. But other things will begin. Sometimes one thing has to end for another to begin. In fact, all the time one thing has to end for another to begin. If everything began and nothing ended then what good would beginning be?”
Yuki’s surprisingly smart sometimes. Well, not surprisingly, but… you know.
She looked wistful. “You know, I was lucky,” she said, sniffling just a little. “I had two graduations. One of them was at my high school. That was a pretty normal graduation.”
“You went to high school?”
“Yes,” she said. “By the time I became an idol. they were pretty used to me, and the teachers kept everyone in check. I had to do events at the auditorium every now and then, but… high school was actually one of the more peaceful places for me. They were really nice and let me take the time I needed to be an idol, and make up the tests after.” She shifted to make herself more comfortable. I’ve heard that men can’t do that pose where we kinda sit on our legs?
“My other graduation was in front of twenty thousand people. I… was standing there, at the end of a runway, all those people waving glowsticks and chanting my name… the spotlight and cameras on me, and the music started… I almost lost it right there. But it wasn’t just because I was sad. I was… happy. So happy. Twenty thousand people, all there for me… just me. Do you have any idea how it feels?”
I thought back to the concerts I’ve done. Maybe it’s not exactly the same, but…
“Maybe I do, a little.”
She nodded. “I got through it somehow. I went backstage after. I cried my eyes out. It was the worst, and the best, time of my life. But you know what else? I changed into my street clothes, and I went outside, and I looked up at the buildings and the sky and breathed the air… and I wasn’t sad. I was hopeful. One thing had ended. It was over. And… if it hadn’t ended, I wouldn’t have met you.”
My breath hitched. “Yuki…”
“And then I saw the hundreds of people standing there waiting for me to come out to hound me for an autograph… and I was very glad I was graduating.” She smirked.
I giggled.
“Don’t be sad, Lily. Be happy. Now you get to find out what comes next.” And she gave me a hug.
Maybe everything’s complicated, like that. Maybe graduation is a time for loss, and tears… but also a time for new beginnings.
Anyway, Liz only gets like six tickets guaranteed, and I’m getting one. She’s going to try to get tickets for everyone else too, but it might not be possible. Everyone understands. After all, I am Liz’s best friend.
Jack only gets six tickets too. Thankfully their graduations are like two days apart, so I can attend both. I’m getting a ticket for that, too. He’ll have at least two more… I wonder who he’ll give them to.
Grace is having her first grade graduation, and Allison – I think? – her fifth grade graduation. I’ll go to both if I can.
The rest of the girls don’t really get graduations for their grades, but we’ll probably have a party for everyone anyway.
Golden week starts Monday!! I asked Yuki and friends how they feel about missing it. They shrugged. I guess there are fun fireworks festivals and stuff, but otherwise, it’s just a holiday, and they can spend their holiday here, so everything’s fine.
We took them to one of the good BBQ places today, and it’s official, they want to live here. Haha!!! I don’t really understand what Japanese people find so fascinating about the US… but maybe they feel the same about us, as well.
Oh, speaking of Jack… apparently he’s been made an honorary member of the Anime and Japanese Culture club, because train onee-chan is his girlfriend. He didn’t get a chance to accept or reject, he just came to school one day and he was a member. There was talk about making him the president, but he put his foot down at that. I don’t blame him. just a member can just not show up. The president has actual responsibilities, and… well… he’s not really a weeb or anything like that.
They keep trying to get him to go to meetings, and he refuses. It’s kinda hilarious. Besides, he thinks they just want to use him to get train onee-chan (and maybe some other idols too) to come to the meetings, and he refuses to use me that way.
That’s one reason I love him. He’s not perfect… not anywhere near perfect… he can be a little neglectful, lazy, unmotivated, all those things (he’d agree, so It’s not like I’m talking out of turn)… but he respect me and he protects me. What more can a girl want?