Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

The girls figured out I was sad.  It wasn’t really all that hard, I suppose… usually I’m kinda bouncing around, but today I just felt like there was a haze over my eyes, and I didn’t really feel like playing or doing anything.  And the sniffling and wiping my eyes might have been a small clue…

I got lots of hugs… I love that, but they didn’t help all that much.  It… just made me cry harder.  Who’ll hug me when I’m in Japan and all by myself, and everyone I know and love will be ten thousand miles away???

It was Yuki and her friends that really helped, though.

Of all my friends, they’re the ones who’ve graduated.

Yuki said graduation is hard, and it’s an end to some things, but it’s a beginning to others, and even though everything is going to change, change is all it is.  You don’t lose your friends, well, you don’t have to lose your friends, and… well…  Yuki and Suzuka and Haruka and Ai and the Aidols and…  Miki and her group and Ai’s parents and even Yuki’s parents… they’re all there and they’re on my side.

She’s right, of course.  It doesn’t help all that much, but it helps a little.  I’m not alone.

I asked Yuki if she cried at her graduation.

She asked which graduation, then said it didn’t matter, she cried like a baby at both, but her idol graduation, there are Blu-Rays of her tears, and they’re all over YouTube, and I should be thankful mine are just amongst my closest friends.

I asked if that bothers her, she said a little but not really. As obsessive and intrusive as her fans can get, they really are on her side, and everyone who was at her graduation concert was there to see her off, and, well…  it was embarrassing but they deserved to see her tears, too.  After all, twenty thousand people waving glowsticks and chanting “Yu-KI Yu-KI Yu-KI” means something, right?

I think I mentioned that’s not really her name, but it has the same number of syllables, so..

The idol business is complicated, isn’t it?  So many conflicting emotions and motivations.   When I first got to know Yuki, I thought she hated her time as an idol.  She hated some of it… but it’s far more complicated than that.  She really does love her fans… she just wishes they’d respect her boundaries.  and sometimes when an idol cries, it’s one of the few times when you see them for who they are.  Not all the time – some can cry on command – but not all.  Yuki’s the type that can’t.  when she cries, she really means it.  She said she couldn’t help it when she was wearing her very beautiful dress, and the spotlight was on her and her alone, while all the other girls were singing (even Suzuka and Haruka)… and she saw all the glowsticks and heard all the chanting… and it was for her and no one else.  Who could stay dry-eyed at a time like that?

I don’t think I could, honestly.  I really don’t think I could.

Maybe everything’s complicated, like that.  Maybe graduation is a time for loss, and tears… but also a time for new beginnings.

Anyway, Liz only gets like six tickets guaranteed, and I’m getting one.  She’s going to try to get tickets for everyone else too, but it might not be possible.  Everyone understands.  After all, I am Liz’s best friend.

Jack only gets six tickets too.  Thankfully their graduations are like two days apart, so I can attend both.  I’m getting a ticket for that, too.  He’ll have at least two more… I wonder who he’ll give them to.

Grace is having her first grade graduation, and Allison – I think?  – her fifth grade graduation.  I’ll go to both if I can.

The rest of the girls don’t really get graduations for their grades, but we’ll probably have a party for everyone anyway.

Golden week starts Monday!! I asked Yuki and friends how they feel about missing it.  They shrugged.  I guess there are fun fireworks festivals and stuff, but otherwise, it’s just a holiday, and they can spend their holiday here, so everything’s fine.

We took them to one of the good BBQ places today, and it’s official, they want to live here.  Haha!!!  I don’t really understand what Japanese people find so fascinating about the US… but maybe they feel the same about us, as well.

Oh, speaking of Jack… apparently he’s been made an honorary member of the Anime and Japanese Culture club, becauee train onee-chan is his girlfriend.  He didn’t get a chance to accept or reject, he just came to school one day and he was a member.  There was talk about making him the president, but he put his foot down at that.  I don’t blame him.  jut a member can just not show up.  The president has actual responsibilities, and… well…  he’s not really a weeb or anything like that.

They keep trying to get him to go to meetings, and he refuses.  It’s kinda hilarious.  Besides, he thinks they just want to use him to get train onee-chan (and maybe some other idols too) to come to the meetings, and he refuses to use me that way.

That’s one reason I love him.  He’s not perfect… not anywhere near perfect… he can be a little neglectful, lazy, unmotivated, all those things (he’d agree, so It’s not like I’m talking out of turn)… but he respect me and he protects me.  What more can a girl want?

Love you all!!! ❤️