This diary entry is part 28 of 28 in Lily's diary dated 22 - April 2023

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

And I’ve got some adulty stuff to talk about tonight, so if you’re not adulty, please go watch Disney or something.

I…  got in trouble.  Dave is mad at me.  Dave has never been mad at me.  So… let’s start from the beginning.

I was late.

Late for what?  Well.. .you know.  Late.  Miss Flo isn’t on time.  My monthly visitor got stuck at the konbini and is starting at the pizza displays.  However you want to put it… I’m late  Or at least I was.

Now, let’s get one thing out of the way.  I’m not… you know.  Pregnant.  I went and got a test, and… it’s negative.  I’m told these things happen sometimes.  That’s not why I’m in trouble.

I’m in trouble because I didn’t tell Sabby I was getting the test, and, well, she found the test.  She was cleaning my bathroom and found it in the trash.

And… oh my God.

No one expects the Sabby inquisition.

She yelled at me, Dave yelled at me, everyone yelled at me for being irresponsible and for getting myself in this situation in the first place and if I really was then they’d wring my neck and reanimate my body so I could have the body and wring my neck again, and Dave told me he told me not in his house and I’d better not be giving him grandkids before my time and he doesn’t care how much money I have and how successful I am, we don’t do that.

I was crying hysterically at that point and told them Jack never, well… put tab A in slot B and the risks were very low, but..  but not zero and I was scared too, and…

and Dave just walked up the stairs and slammed the door to his room.

Sabby followed him up, but not before giving me the most disappointed look she’s ever given me.

I’ve never felt so alone.  Well, I have, but not recently.  But it’s close.

I actually called up Katie and told her.  She was very comforting.  She said that I’m probably just late, but if I’m not, then we can have a baby shower together, and…  and I broke down again.

She felt really bad.

I didn’t even write last night.  I just went to bed crying.  Sabby came in a little later, told me she’s still disappointed in me, and then let me cry on her chest.

She has a lot of chest to cry on.

This morning, well..  Flo finally visited.

I cried with relief.

Dave sat me down and had a very long talk with me.  I told him everything Jack and I did (editing for father, of course) and that we were following everyone’s rules.  He said, if I feel like there’s a risk of being pregnant, the rules aren’t good enough, and he’s going to have a talk with Jack’s parents.

Jack didn’t even know.

I didn’t even tell him.

Well, he does now.

I don’t know if I’m going to get to see Jack again before we’re married.

I’m pretty sure we’re never going to do, well, that again until we’re married.

That was scary.  Very, very scary.

I’m the one who’s grounded now.  And Sabby said it’s not even because of all the stuff we did, it’s because I wasn’t really honest with her and didn’t tell her what was going on, and that that’s not the kind of thing you mess around with and keep secret from your parents.

Jack…  knows better than to say too much about it.  He just said he’s glad I’m not, he’s not really to be a dad, but if I were then he’d do the right thing.  That makes me feel a little better… but it doesn’t.  He would.  I know he would.  But neither of us are old enough to know what the right thing is.  As proven by, well, me getting in over my head.

Dave’s still pretty angry with me, but he seems to be getting over it.  If that happens again, though…  they might rethink the whole adoption thing, I think.  They didn’t say that… but I think.

That would be worse than anything.

Jack’s parents aren’t angry.  They knew what was going on, and Dave was pretty upset with them about it.  I heard him saying pretty loudly into his phone something like “Jack’s not the one who’d be spending nine months carrying a baby and..” and that’s all I heard.  He’s right, I guess.  He’s not. 

I… ummm…  I guess I’m going to bed now.

Chocolate’s not gonna fix this.

Love you all…

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