This diary entry is part 5 of 29 in Lily's diary dated 10 - April 2022

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

Jack and I actually had a bit of a fight tonight. It was our first one.  I know, you’d think it was because he was… being a boy, right?  Being insensitive, or demanding something from me, or this or that.  But no!

We had a fight because he…  agreed with Sabby.

I told him what Sabby told me, and he said that he loved me, and he respected me, and he didn’t want me to do things that made him respect me less.  I told him that how I dress shouldn’t have anything to do with how he respected me, and he said that whether it should or not, it does.  He asked me if I would still respect him if I found out he was flirting with women, even if he thought it was entirely innocent?

I countered back that I wasn’t flirting with anyone and that wasn’t a fair comparison, and he said that wearing sexy outfits was flirting in a way, even if I didn’t have any target in mind.  I got angry with him, and told him that he didn’t have any right to tell me how to dress.  He said no, he doesn’t, but he does have a right to have an opinion about how I dress, and that it’s not fair to him to expect to have my chocolate and eat it too (yes, he said that, the silly billy!).  I don’t think we were really mad at each other, but we signed off in a huff, and I was sad.

I went to talk to Sabby about it and she sighed.  I don’t understand what they’re trying to tell me!  Why should it matter if I wear a maid outfit or not?  Isn’t it my choice to wear what I want???

Sabby just stood up and went to her room.  A few minutes later, she called me up.  I went in, and she was wearing a very skimpy outfit, that left very little to the imagination.  She looked very good in it, and I blushed.

“Sabby!,” I said.  “That’s not decent!”

“Why not?”, she said, and sat down on the bed, well, giving herself a wedgie.  “It’s my right to wear what I want, right?  Why should it matter if I wear this?”

“Because… because… GRRR!!”, I said.  I couldn’t think of a reason.  But it did.

“Now how would you feel if I wore this into the supermarket?”

“I’d be embarrassed!”

“Why?’, she asked.  “It’s just clothing!”

I sighed.  “But it’s not decent!  People might… get the wrong idea! … ooooooohh.”

“And you think people would get the right idea if you were walking around wearing a maid outfit?”

I sighed.  “They might think I was… wearing it for their entertainment.  Even if I wasn’t.”

She pointed down at her…  proud assets.  “Wear these things for people you want to enjoy them,” she said.  “Not for people you don’t care about.  Because they won’t care about you.  Now scoot, this thing is tight and I don’t like wearing it for very long.”

I went back to my room, and called up Jack.

“Jack?”

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Why?”, he asked.  Typical boy, dragging it out.  Like him being right wasn’t bad enough.

… “Because this is only for you,” I said, looking down.

“I’m not a jerk, Lily,” he said, quietly.  “I know you like to dress nicely, and I know you have a nice body.  There’s nothing wrong with that.  But…  let some things be just for us.  Please?”

“Do you want me to take my swimsuit pic off my diary?”

“It’s a swimsuit.  It’s not the same thing.  You wear it to swim, not to show off.  I hope, anyway.”  He smirked.

Why is Sabby so smart?  I hate it when she’s smart!

Jack and I are okay now.  I think.  I know I can wear what I want.  But some things…  are only for him.

I guess a part of growing up is knowing what you’re allowed to do… and knowing when not to do it anyway.

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 4 of 29 in Lily's diary dated 10 - April 2022

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!!!

Sabby’s not mad at me anymore for wearing the maid outfit, but somehow I think it’s worse, now.  She’s disappointed.

She asked me if I’d ever seen any of those, well, unsavory sites.  You know, with women doing not so nice things.  I said I had accidentally, but it’s gross.

She asked me if those women ever regretted what they put on the net.

I thought for a bit, and said I didn’t know, but maybe some did?

She nodded.  “Some don’t,” she said, “but far too many do.  But that’s the thing about the net.  Once something’s out there, you can’t take it back, and you will never know where it is.  If you’re lucky, it’ll get lost somewhere, but if you’re not, then you’ll get people stopping you in the street. And like it or not, that’s all they’ll ever see you for.”

“But – it’s just a costume”.

She sighed.  “It is, Lily.  By itself, it’s probably not too big a deal.  People wear worse than that to conventions.  But the problem is that you don’t understand..  You just see it as something fun to dress up as.  But the net doesn’t forgive, Lily.  One mistake and you’ll regret it forever.”

I frowned. “It sounds like you”re talking from experience,” I said.

“Not quite,” she said, “but close.”  And she wouldn’t say anything more about that.

I guess I have something to think about now.

Maybe thunder tonight!  Yayyy!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 3 of 29 in Lily's diary dated 10 - April 2022

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

today after work I went over to Liz to eat dinner with her and her parents.  Liz spends a lot of time over at my place but I wanted to spend a little time with her and her parents.  No Beth.  Nothing against Beth at all, but Liz is my best friend, not Beth’s.  Besides, Crystal and Diana came over this afternoon to spend some time with Beth.  She’s got friends!! YAY!!!  They went to the mall and did stuff that fourteen year old girls do at the mall.  Like…  giggling, I guess.  Lots of giggling.

Sabby took them, and I guess makeovers for everyone!!

Liz and I talked a lot.  We don’t get to talk as much as I’d like.  She has a boy she’s into, and she thinks he might be into her, but I guess Liz isn’t quite as direct as I am… she’s having a hard time finding out for sure.  Poor Liz.  I offered/threatened to find out for her and she smacked me, but there was a kind of hope in her eyes too.  So I might.  And if it works out, I won’t get smacked more.

I don’t know how to do that, though.  “Hi, random boy Liz likes.  You have a girlfriend?  No?  Want one?  NOT ME, SILLY BILLY!!!”  Yeah.  I think I need to choose a slightly more diplomatic approach.  IF I DO.  Don’t smack me yet, Liz.  Wait till I actually do something!

I’m tired.  I think I’ll go to bed.

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 2 of 29 in Lily's diary dated 10 - April 2022

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!!!

You know, there are some things I don’t talk about.  One of those things is my coworkers.  I don’t know why, I just don’t feel the need to.  They’re pretty nice for the most part but I just go to work and do my job.

The other thing is that time between the time that I was taken on that first shopping trip, and the time I started this diary.  I’ve said very little about that time.  I’m not really sure why.  Maybe just because it’s not that interesting.  I mostly just spent that time holed up in my room, honestly.  I mean, Dave and Sabby tried to include me in their family as much as they could, but Beth and to a lesser degree David just wasn’t having it, and I didn’t really feel like I belonged.  It’s not that Sabby let Beth get away with it – she didn’t – but she couldn’t be there all the time, and Beth is nothing if not creative.

To Sabby’s credit, if I fired back every now and then, she didn’t yell at me.  Her attitude was, if Beth could dish it out, then she could take it.  I remember one time when Beth was making fun of me for something, and I just told her that maybe I wasn’t the prettiest girl, but she was ugly in a way makeup couldn’t fix.  She went running to Sabby, and all Sabby said was, “You deserved it.”

It wasn’t a fun time and I prefer to not remember it.

There were some fun times, though.  Sabby really did try.  She took me on a few more shopping trips – though none of them meant quite as much to me as that first one.  She got me chocolatey things every now and then – I think that’s one reason I like chocolate soooo much.  It was Sabby’s way of including me.  But it took a long time before I started to feel like a part of the family.

And I went to a lot of doctors and psychologists and psychiatrists.  None of them could figure out why I’d lost my memory, and they told me that the way I lost my memory was really strange.  They ran tests and poked and prodded me, and I spent a lot of time trying different things, the doctors hoping that maybe it would jog my memory.  But it never did.  Finally they just kind of gave up.  They started shifting to trying to help me to cope with my life as it is, rather than trying to find my past.  This diary was supposed to be a way to do that.

And, well, it seems to have worked pretty well, I think.

I made a few friends in virtual school, like Liz, and my tech friend that helped me set this site up, and a few other people I haven’t talked to much lately.  I think my tech friend was sweet on me, to be honest.  He was so nice, but I didn’t want to feel like I was using him, that’s why I pay for it myself now.  I truly didn’t want a boyfriend.  Jack was an accident.  A happy accident, but an accident nonetheless.

Well, that’s the story.  Not too interesting?  Maybe I’ll think of some stuff that happened then.  But, honestly… I’d still just rather forget.

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 1 of 29 in Lily's diary dated 10 - April 2022

Hi!  It’s me!  Yuriko!

April Fools!  I’m Lily!

But you knew that.  It’s all over this diary…

So I was honestly more happy that it was Friday than April fools.  Yay for Friday!!

Sabby’s still pretty ticked at me, but she’s getting over it.  I probably shouldn’t have done that.  I knew she didn’t like it.  And I think that’s why she was upset more than anything else.  Buuuuuttt…  it was April Fools!  I mean, apart from Halloween, what other day can I do that, and, well, not mean it?  I can’t imagine wearing that kind of outfit non-ironically.  I like pretty, fashionable things.  Not, well… that.

The big problem is, Jack did like that.  Really, really liked that.  I’m probably going to have to model it for him at least once.  Sigh.  I told him if I do that for him, he’d better dress like one of those BTS boys for me.  He gulped, but I guess he thought it’d be worth it.  I guess we’ve got our Halloween costumes figured out someday.

So, anyway, Sabby told us no girls over tonight.  Awww.  But I guess I understand that.  We haven’t had any actual family time in a long time.  It’s Liz, or Crystal, or Diana, or Allison,…  always girls in and out and I think Sabby’s a bit tired of it.  She likes them, don’t get me wrong, but she’s also kind of right.

And I think David’s a bit relieved.  Poor kid.  He doesn’t say much, but all those girls hanging around makes him a little uncomfortable.  Should we find him another friend too?

So we had a nice dinner and watched a movie.  Just the five of us.  Well, six, if you include Cat.  And it was nice.  I love my sisters, but…  I love my family too.

And you all too.

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 31 of 31 in Lily's diary dated 09 - March 2022

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!!!

I put out an April Fools video!!!  And Sabby is MAD.

She’s not mad because I put out an April Fools video, but because of what I’m wearing!!!

I put on a maid outfit!!!

You see, what I thought was that an April Fools video meant that you had to do something that was entirely unlike you, or something like that.  And putting on a maid outfit and having blue hair and cat ears is entirely unlike me!  I’d never do that normally!  So I thought that’d make a great April Fools!!!  And Liz had one from Halloween that, well, kinda fit me.

Sabby, well, doesn’t agree.

I kinda wish I’d done what I’d originally thought and had the Texan Tinkerer (that guy I know) just ramble on about silly stuff like I would.  But we agreed that it just seemed… weird.

Like wearing a maid outfit isn’t?

Umm…  I think I messed up.

Oh well.  Sabby made me serve dinner in the outfit.  She said if I was going to dress like a maid, I might as well act like one.  After dinner she made me change out and then sat me down and had a long talk about how boys are silly billies and those kinds of things don’t go away even after I change out of the clothing.  I don’t understand.  It’s just a maid outfit!!!  It’s not like it’s a swimsuit or that lurid purple thing we don’t talk about!!  We didn’t fight, I just agreed, but I still don’t get it.  Why was she so upset?

Anyway, I guess I know what I’m not wearing for Halloween.

Irasshaimase, goshujinsama!!! Hahahaa!!!

I know Sabby’s pissed.  But…  I am cute as an anime character.

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 30 of 31 in Lily's diary dated 09 - March 2022

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

So I didn’t post yesterday.  Frankly, I was busy.  I went over to see the guy who I’m going to do the April Fools crossover with, and we recorded some stuff.  He gave me this script to read – and it was insane!!!  It had some words that he had to teach me how to pronounce!  But it’s funny.  He explained that it’s an engineering in-joke, and I guess I understood it once he explained it to me.  The way he explained it is, the way it sounds to engineers is the way real engineering talk sounds to ordinary people.  We’re still working on what he’s going to do for my channel though, that’s a bit harder to figure out.  I wish I know what a marzlevane or a dingle arm is.  Haha!  Dingle arm!!!  I still giggle at that.

He showed me his lab too.  OMG it’s like the lab that Dave built for us, but with so much more stuff!  He showed me some gadgets that I still don’t know what they do, but they look really impressive!!  He told me about some projects he wants to do, and…  maybe I’ll help him!!!  Or maybe not.  I do have a lot to do.  But he seems nice.  Many guys like to, well, stare at things they have no business staring at.  I could tell he noticed, but he didn’t make a big deal about it.  I appreciated that.  It’s okay if they notice!! I mean, I’ve got things they’re programmed to like!  But, just move on.  He did that.  That’s all I ask!!!

He gave me some ideas for stuff to do on my channel, though.  I guess I’ll have to think about it.

Oh!  I forgot to tell you!  My piano teacher wants me to do a recital!!!  Apparently I’m good enough to do a full concert!!!  So I’ve got a few pieces to learn!!  But I’ll have to do a bit more practicing than I have been!!!  It’s in a couple of months, so I have lots of time!!!

No time to waste, though!!!

I wonder if there are Japanese recitals.  Hah!  Probably not.

Ever get that feeling that something big is going to happen soon, but you don’t know what??

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 29 of 31 in Lily's diary dated 09 - March 2022

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

And tornadoes do suck!!!

So today Maria went back with the insurance adjuster while Diana was at school to start getting approval for repairs on their house – I guess insurance was slammed and this is when they could get the appointment.  It’s going to be a few months before it’s back to normal, but the good news is that the insurance has found them some long term housing until their house is livable again.  Aww.  But at least there’s that.  They don’t have to stay with us anymore.  I’ll miss Diana.  I told her she has to teach me or Sabby how to make those delicious tacos.  And she said that we’re going to have to have some chocolate together someday.

That settles it.  She’s my sister.

Anyone who wants to share chocolate is a sister.

Jack couldn’t apologize enough for having such a bad idea of what a slumber party is, but I told him it’s alright.  He didn’t know.  And it’s not like boys are told much about the inner lives of girls, especially boys that don’t have teenage sisters.  But I told him he knows now, so he’d better get those ideas out of his head.  MISTER.  He said that I probably have ideas about how boys are too.  I said, yeah right, you just think about girls, eating, cars, and sleep.

He got quiet.  Then said I wasn’t wrong.

It’s not that boys aren’t complicated, but they’re complicated in a different way.  Not that way.  That way they’re dead simple.  Keep them fed and… well… fed…  and they’re pretty happy campers.

Oh and I video called with Grace tonight!  She wants choc’late!  And she’ll get some!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 28 of 31 in Lily's diary dated 09 - March 2022

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!!!

DAVE GRILLED!!!

I think I’ve told you in the past that I love it when Dave grills.  He’s so good at it!  Maria and Diana joined us for our grilling and they loved it too!!! Everyone loves Dave’s grilling!!!

But Diana made us some chips and homemade guacamole too, so we had a different set of fixins.  They also took the chicken he grilled, pulled it apart, seasoned it, and turned it into tacos!!! OMG!!! Soooo good!!!  I had no idea you could turn Dave’s grilling into something even better!!!

But otherwise it’s been a pretty quiet day.  We all pigged out on leftover cake too, and otherwise I just worked and did lazy Sunday stuff.  Well, except for me – after I got home from work, you saw what I did!!!  Giving this site some love has been long overdue!  I’m not entirely happy with it, the colors could use a bit of tweaking, but it’s good enough for now.

I don’t have too much out of the ordinary planned for this week.   You know, school, lessons, that kinda stuff.  I hope that’s not…  umm, what do they call it?  foreshadowing…

Anyway, I’m going to go now!!!  Liz is over and we’re playing games!!!

Oh oh oh!!!  I know what I’m going to do for April Fools!!!  I found a guy who lives locally who has a YouTube channel too, and we’re going to collaborate!!!  He’s a friend of Dave’s so he’s alright.  I don’t understand any of his videos but he can be funny!!!  Dave showed him my videos too and he thinks I have a cute snicker!!! Hahaha!!! It’ll be fun!!!

And don’t be jealous, Jack!!! He’s older than Dave!!!  He just wants to do something funny for April Fools!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 27 of 31 in Lily's diary dated 09 - March 2022

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

I REDID THE PAGE!!!!!!

It’s got a new picture of me!!!  The diary is now scrollable!!! And the most obvious change – it’s my handwriting!!!  YAAAYYY!!!!

I’m a little concerned it might be hard to read, though.  If you think it is, please tell me – I’ll leave comments open on this page only for a while – and I’ll tweak it as needed (I turn comments off not because I don’t want to chat with you, but because I prefer to do it on Facebook, where it’s easier to deal with spam!).  Dave was telling me about a concept called “friction”, and he said my diary has a lot of friction.  I think I know what he means.  So I tried to reduce it!!!  I don’t know if I did completely, but we’ll keep trying.  I might do some color tweaking.

I’m wearing the same dress now that I do sometimes on YouTube!!!  And… and I added a header image!!! So fun!!!

I’m going to have to go through my old posts and make a few tweaks, turn a few knobs, push a few buttons, spit on some stuff… but I’m trying!!!

Well, I have to go now, I’ve got things to do.  It’s warm and Dave wants to grill!!! YUMMMMMM!!!!!!

Love you all!!!! ❤️