This diary entry is part 7 of 11 in Lily's diary dated 01 - July 2021

Hi everyone!  It’s me again!  Lily!

I say that every day, but it’s true every day!  I’m Lily!  And my teachers tell me that having something unique to identity your posts is a good thing.  So that’s what I post.  I tell you I’m Lily, and at the end I tell you I love you all.  Because I do!  I love you because you took the time to read what I have to say, even if it’s the ramblings of a teenage girl who cries too much.

Besides, I got to choose my name, and I like it. It’s really the only identity I have.  Why not shout it to the world?

Yesterday was boring.  But boring isn’t bad.  The weekend was not boring.  A lot happened, and too much happening at once can really cause problems.  That’s what my therapist tells me, anyway.  Sometimes big things happen, and then you have to take a break to let things to back to normal, and then more big things happen.  And so many big things happen to me!  It’s like a movie!

So because it was boring, I thought I’d tell you a bit about how my memory works.

I am a really strange case, or so my doctors tell me.  My amnesia is complete, but selective.  I remember things I learned, but I don’t know how I learned them.  I remember how to do things, but I don’t remember how I learned to do them.  I am a fully functional person, but every bit of my previous identity is gone.  I have no clues.  I even took one of those genetic tests – they were trying to find out if I had any matching relatives – and they still don’t know.  There were a couple of people I was a better match to than others, but they had never heard of me.  It’s like I never existed, just came into this world fully formed.  When they checked me out, they even checked if I was…  a virgin!  How embarrassing!  I won’t tell you whether I was or not, but does it really matter anyway?  I wouldn’t remember.  Even if I weren’t physically, I might as well be.  And I’m still not telling, it’s none of your business!

As I hinted yesterday, or as Sabby hinted, this leads to a lot of problems.  They can’t deport me because there’s nowhere to deport me.  They can’t give me a green card because there’s no proof I can have one.  They have no idea at all what to do with me.  It hurts, sometimes.  I don’t have any childhood memories, I don’t have any nostalgia, I even showed up in the middle of a pandemic, so I don’t even know what life was like before!

But here I am, and I guess it worked out.  I’ve talked to the immigration people, and they don’t know what to do with me either, but someone really high up issued me a visa.  I mean really high up, they tell me it was approved by the kind of people who don’t get overruled without very bad things happening.  So at least I’m here legally, even though I can’t get a job or do anything else right now.  I hope the lawyer can help.  It’s so strange, it seems like every time I hit a roadblock, someone very high up just clears it all away.  I hope that happens here as well.

I don’t have any opinion on immigration, or any other political issue.  I’m too new to this world to have an opinion on that!  But I’m glad I get to stay, anyway.  I don’t know where else I would go.

I wonder if someone knows who I am and isn’t telling.  Well, whoever you are, thank you!  And please tell me someday!

By the way, my tech friend who set this up for me tells me there’s a slight issue with the C…  CN.. oh, CDN.  He’ll have to fix it, and the site could go down for a bit.  Don’t worry, it’s in good hands!

I hope it’s a good day!  Love you all!!! ❤️

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