Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

I don’t know whether to hug or choppu Beth!!!  THAT GIRL!!!

So here’s what happened.

We practiced a little today, and made sure we were all warmed up, then changed into our “rocker” outfits (Crystal is HOT) and went over to the shop.  There were a couple other bands lined up for tonight too, but we were near the beginning.

So…  When it came our turn, we got on stage, tuned our guitars, and did a decent job.  People clapped politely, there wasn’t a lot of screaming or anything, but no one seemed upset, which is good.  We played a couple of our original songs.

Then Beth told me to stand up, and Sabby took my place.  SABBY!!!  Miss “I don’t know how to play anything” Sabby!!!  She grabbed the drumsticks, twirled them around, and just smirked at me.

Well, that shocked me enough, but then Liz came up and plugged a keyboard in.  Well, that’s not too much of a surprise, really, she’s not a pianist like me but she’s had enough lessons that she can find her way around a keyboard if she wants.

Then Beth said “I’ve been keeping this from Lily, my big sister over here, all week.”  Then she handed me a comically large box of tissues, like in my birthday “convention”.  “We’ve been practicing in secret all week.. Well, sort of secret, because we’ve just been kicking her out and telling her to eat some chocolate and leave us alone.”

Everyone laughed.

“So…  here you are, Lily.”

Sabby clicked her drumsticks together, and they started playing “U & I”.  You know, from K-on.  I heard those first few notes and, well… opened the box of tissues.

I was kind of a mess by the time they were done…  If you don’t know, “U & I” is kind of a love song between sisters.  In the K-On anime, Yui wrote it for her little sister Ui after Ui took care of her when she was sick.  But I knew what to do… I clapped hard, and said “You guys aren’t very good, are you?”

Everyone who’s seen K-on laughed.  Which isn’t a lot of people in the audience.  But no one seemed to care because I glomped her right after I said that, and didn’t really let her go.  “Can’t… breathe…”, she said, and the mic picked it up.  The audience giggled.

Then we all said our thanks and got off the stage, to slightly more enthusiastic than polite applause.  I needed to cry anyway.  OMG.

Sabby playing the drums was not the only notable thing.  Beth sang the song in perfect Japanese.  I know she doesn’t speak Japanese, at least not well, so she had to learn it phonetically.  That’s… not easy at all.  That’s almost as impressive as Crystal picking up the guitar as fast as she did.  I’ve been teaching her diction, but she wasn’t that good two weeks ago.

I… feel conflicted.  I love Beth for that.  I mean, I really love Beth for that.  It was the best, most wonderful love song anyone’s ever sang to me, and I know she was singing it to me as well.  But I’m conflicted…  they did that without me.  They found the song (well, we did watch K-On), Beth learned the lyrics, Crystal learned the guitar, Sabby learned the drums… everyone learned that… and didn’t need me.  At all.

I’ve kind of been the glue holding our group of sisters together ever since that group formed.  That’s not just my ego, it’s a fact, and my sisters have told me that over and over again.  That it wouldn’t be the same without me.  I love them so much, and they love me too… and they don’t need me anymore.

I’m going to go to Japan for school, their lives will go on, and they won’t need me.  They don’t need me.  I’m…  I’m not the glue holding all the sisters together anymore.  They don’t need me for that.  They…  don’t really need me for anything.

But the song Beth sang was all about how much she needs me.  And she had to know that, I mean, she didn’t pick the song because it sounded nice.  She knew what it meant.  So she was telling me how much she needed me, all the while showing me how much she doesn’t need me.

We’re all growing up.  I should be happy about that.  I am happy about that.  But…  it hurts a little, too.  Well, it hurts a lot.  When I go to Japan… will anyone remember me?  Will it be like when I was found on the side of the road, and didn’t know who I was, and the only people who did weren’t telling?

Anyway…  tomorrow, I’m going to corner Sabby and make her tell me why she was hiding the fact that she could play drums so well from me all this time.  I mean, she was good.  It wasn’t like she spent the last two weeks practicing and got that good.  That was years of experience.

In those wild years she was telling me about… was she a rocker chick?

I guess I can understand why she’d want to leave all that behind, but…  why now?

I don’t want to seem ungrateful.  I really don’t.  Everyone tried their hardest to give me a nice surprise.  And it was nice.  I loved it.  I love Beth and Crystal and Diana and Liz and Sabby for doing it.  And now I just want to stare at a wall and cry.