This diary entry is part 4 of 28 in Lily's diary dated 21 - March 2023

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

I think, not having memories isn’t always a bad thing.

Today, Beth told me about a memory she had when she was little.  It wasn’t a very good memory.  Not all her memories are bad, obviously, but they’re not good either.  And Jack has told me in the past that there are memories he wishes he didn’t have.  And I… I got a clean slate!  I started over when I was fourteen!  I remember my first taste of pizza!  I liked it!  I had a lot of firsts, that were probably not firsts, but to me they were!  So… so I got a first time on a lot of things twice!!!

I mean, I’m sure I had pizza before!  Maybe not, but I think I did!  I mean, what kid doesn’t get pizza at least once?  Even if their parents are strict!

And I went to Japan when I was 9, apparently.  But I don’t remember it, or even really know what I was doing there!  So…  I went again!  And I had a really good time!

I…  I have mixed feelings anymore about not having memories.  Oh, sure, I’d like them back.  But I think… I think I’m okay with not having them.  Sure, I don’t remember anything.  But I never lost my skills, I lost a family that it seems didn’t really love me (from what Mrs. Doily said), and I gained one that does.  I gained a boyfriend, I gained a trust account (at least I think that’s why), and…  and…

And maybe it was worth the trade.

Maybe it was.

I’ll still seek, I’ll still try to find out, I’ll still hope to get my memories back…  but if I never do…  I think I’m okay with that.  I love my family, I love my boyfriend, I love my life, and that’s why I have all these things.

It’s been nearly three years since I was found on the side of the road, and…  and I’m starting to be glad for that.  I wish it hadn’t happened, but…  but…  but life is so good now, and…  maybe that’s the price I pay for such a wonderful life.

Everything comes with a price, as Dave says.

Today was pretty boring, but Jack is taking me out tomorrow!! Yay!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

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