Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!
I’m… still depressed.
I did my classes and homework and everything today, but I feel like a dried out husk that could get blown away if a gust of wind comes along.
Sabby got a little upset with me about it. I don’t care. I’ve seen her a lot of ways, but never depressed. Or at least not that she’s shown me. Maybe she doesn’t understand. Maybe she does. Whatever.
I know I’m just eighteen and that there could be many “fish in the sea”. I’m pretty cute and have a nice body and I bet I could attract any man I really wanted – but I want Jack! I wanted him ever since the first time I laid eyes on him, and I want him now! How am I supposed to just turn that off?
Shikataganai I guess. Can’t be helped.
The only thing I think Sabby was maybe right about is that it would be months before I have to really really choose, and a lot of things can happen before now and then. But that doesn’t really matter, does it?
Maybe I just need to go shopping and buy some cute shoes. Retail therapy does work… sometimes. Maybe not now, but at least it would be a good distraction, right?
Liz is a little worried, too. She’s over now. I think she’s trying to get me to cry. It’s annoying… but bless her anyway. Maybe she’s right after all.