Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!
Umm… why is life like this?
Life is so full of wonderful highs, and crushing lows, and the worst thing is sometimes those come from exactly the same event.
I remember when I first met Jack. It was in Orlando, and I was attracted to him at first sight. It was actually a little maddening, I don’t know what I would have done if he hadn’t felt the same way about me. Every glance, every little touch, it drove me absolutely nuts, and I’d never experienced something like that before. He had the power to completely fell me with a word. He still does. I’m not going to talk like some lovestruck teenager and say I’d follow him anywhere or anything like that… but he has a lot of power over me, and sometimes I don’t even know if he realizes it. Maybe he does. The power doesn’t come from anything bad… I just love him. Isn’t that kind of what love is? A little, anyway. When you give someone your heart so completely that they could crush it, and you allow them that power, because the only way you can express it is to give them your heart for safekeeping, and trust that they’ll put it in a little velvet box and store it somewhere safe and climate-controlled and sometimes take it out and just gaze at it… maybe feed it some chocolate. Do hearts eat chocolate?
But sometimes life goes in, guns a-blazing, and steals that box with your heart in it, and then crushes it right in front of both of you, and neither can really do anything about it, because that’s just how life works. Isn’t it?
Yuki is over tonight. She knows something’s wrong but she’s not prying. Thankfully. Liz actually really annoyed me last night. I still love her, she’s my best friend, but when she’s actively trying to get me to cry like that, it just pisses me off. Thankfully, she backed off and fed me chocolate. Good Liz.
You know how they say “it’s better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all”? “They” are full of crap.
I guess… no matter what happens, I’ve still got at least a few months with him. Might as well make the best of it.