This diary entry is part 7 of 28 in Lily's diary dated 04 - October 2021

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!  And I’m in a Friday mood!

Tomorrow, I work, but tonight, we’re doing another movie night!  YAY! Beth seems a little better today, I talked to Sabby about it.  She sat down in a chair and put her head in her hands.

“What’s wrong?”, I asked.

“I should have figured that out,” she said quietly.  “How did I not figure that out?  Of course it would bother her.  Just because it doesn’t bother you doesn’t mean she’s going to be as… ”  she sighed.  “Sometimes I feel like I’m failing with my kids.”

I sat down next to her.  “Why?”

“I… I don’t feel like I know them anymore.”

I rubbed her back.  “You’re Beth’s mother.  You know her better than anyone.”

“I used to,” she said.  “I remember when she was a little girl and I caught her hiding in a closet with a flashlight, reading.  But I also used to kiss her owies and put bandaids on her knees and… what happened?”

“You used to have a little girl,” I said.  “Now you have a young woman.  you’ll always be her mother, but… maybe it’s time to be her friend too.”

She looked at me.  “How are you so smart?”

I shrugged.  “Sometimes you just have to look at people straight.”

She looked puzzled.  “What does that mean?”

I thought.  “Well, people are just this big tangled mess of thoughts and feelings and emotions and they don’t always know what they want or what they feel, and sometimes they lie to themselves, and… and… well, sometimes you just have to see through all of that and figure out what’s actually going on.”

She touched my cheek.  “You’re a special girl, you know that?”

I shrugged.  “So is Beth.”

She sighed.  “She is.”

“You’re not a bad mother,” I said.  “You’re human.  Just keep trying.  She’ll understand.”

She sighed.  “I need to take her out again.  And have a talk with her – woman to woman.”

I nodded.  “Sounds like a good idea.  I’m going to bed now.”

We hugged goodnight and I went up to bed.

Today was just a nice, ordinary, Friday.  YAAAAAAAY FRIDAY!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOO

Love you all!!!  Especially my family!!!  But all you silly billies too!  I hope Allison is feeling better!!!

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