Series: 34 TOC April 2024

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Anathema’s wedding is coming up in a couple of weeks!!!  It’s actually May the 4th – Star Wars day!!!  Yes, they did that on purpose. When Anathema figured out it was on a Saturday, well, how could she resist? 

She’s not having us buy any special dresses or anything like that.  She wants us to wear nice outfits and everything, but she’s kind of well past that whole “special day” thing.  In fact, I think a part of her kind of feels like she doesn’t deserve a special day.  I mean, to hear her say it, she’s been like the town bicycle – you know, everyone gets a ride? – and she doesn’t really think she even deserves what she’s getting now.  She’s happy she is, don’t get me wrong, but she’s just kind of seems grateful for what she’s getting rather than feeling like she deserves any of it.

It’s kind of sad, really.  Makes me kind of glad that I insisted on that red line with Jack, and that he was strong enough to keep to it even when I wasn’t.  We’ve done a lot of stuff together, some of it pretty adult, but Jack, well… doesn’t know how to ride a bike.  If you get my meaning.

He knows how to grease the wheels, adjust the brakes, make sure the tires are all inflated…  maybe sit on the seat and make vroom vroom sounds… but no riding.  If you get my drift.

And seeing how torn up Anathema is…  I’m kinda glad about that.  Even though I’m really curious. Plus Liz told me she regrets it a little, too…  I dunno.  It’s such a complicated thing for such a simple thing.

We’re closing the shop and having the ceremony there.  I asked Yuki if she and her friends could do a performance for the reception, and they’re happy to do it.  It’ll be a closed reception, though we’ll probably post it on LINE just so the otaku don’t kill us.

I’m not entirely joking about that.

I’ll be the pianist, and Liz is going to do some violiney stuff too.  We’ve been working on some pieces for her recital, we’ll probably do some of that.  And Crystal wants to do a set with her band, too.  I wasn’t sure, but Anathema just said “this is supposed to be a celebration, right?  The more, the merrier.  Let them play.”

It’s really going to be a kind of mishmash of stuff, but both Anathema and Joe are perfectly happy with that.  Anathema says she probably won’t dance much, she’s really showing now, but she wants all of us to have fun, too.

So I guess this is happening.

So, speaking of the shop, we’re going to look at a new facility this weekend.  If we like it, we’re going to do it.  We want to keep the homey feeling of the current shop, just we want a little more room.  And we kinda want to decorate a little differently.  Guess we’ll see.

Anyway… time for bed.  Suzuka and Haruka are already out like a light.  Those girls sleep deep.

Love you all!!!

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Liz reminded me that graduation is coming up for me, her, and Jack.

And I’m not going to lie, I’m a little depressed.

All these lasts are coming up on me, closer and closer, and…  and it’s a lot.

But tonight… the girls are over, and I can’t be sad.

I can’t be sad.

I…

I’m sad.

Love you all!!!

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

The girls figured out I was sad.  It wasn’t really all that hard, I suppose… usually I’m kinda bouncing around, but today I just felt like there was a haze over my eyes, and I didn’t really feel like playing or doing anything.  And the sniffling and wiping my eyes might have been a small clue…

I got lots of hugs… I love that, but they didn’t help all that much.  It… just made me cry harder.  Who’ll hug me when I’m in Japan and all by myself, and everyone I know and love will be ten thousand miles away???

It was Yuki and her friends that really helped, though.

Of all my friends, they’re the ones who’ve graduated.

Yuki said graduation is hard, and it’s an end to some things, but it’s a beginning to others, and even though everything is going to change, change is all it is.  You don’t lose your friends, well, you don’t have to lose your friends, and… well…  Yuki and Suzuka and Haruka and Ai and the Aidols and…  Miki and her group and Ai’s parents and even Yuki’s parents… they’re all there and they’re on my side.

She’s right, of course.  It doesn’t help all that much, but it helps a little.  I’m not alone.

I asked Yuki if she cried at her graduation.

She asked which graduation, then said it didn’t matter, she cried like a baby at both, but her idol graduation, there are Blu-Rays of her tears, and they’re all over YouTube, and I should be thankful mine are just amongst my closest friends.

I asked if that bothers her, she said a little but not really. As obsessive and intrusive as her fans can get, they really are on her side, and everyone who was at her graduation concert was there to see her off, and, well…  it was embarrassing but they deserved to see her tears, too.  After all, twenty thousand people waving glowsticks and chanting “Yu-KI Yu-KI Yu-KI” means something, right?

I think I mentioned that’s not really her name, but it has the same number of syllables, so..

The idol business is complicated, isn’t it?  So many conflicting emotions and motivations.   When I first got to know Yuki, I thought she hated her time as an idol.  She hated some of it… but it’s far more complicated than that.  She really does love her fans… she just wishes they’d respect her boundaries.  and sometimes when an idol cries, it’s one of the few times when you see them for who they are.  Not all the time – some can cry on command – but not all.  Yuki’s the type that can’t.  when she cries, she really means it.  She said she couldn’t help it when she was wearing her very beautiful dress, and the spotlight was on her and her alone, while all the other girls were singing (even Suzuka and Haruka)… and she saw all the glowsticks and heard all the chanting… and it was for her and no one else.  Who could stay dry-eyed at a time like that?

I don’t think I could, honestly.  I really don’t think I could.

Maybe everything’s complicated, like that.  Maybe graduation is a time for loss, and tears… but also a time for new beginnings.

Anyway, Liz only gets like six tickets guaranteed, and I’m getting one.  She’s going to try to get tickets for everyone else too, but it might not be possible.  Everyone understands.  After all, I am Liz’s best friend.

Jack only gets six tickets too.  Thankfully their graduations are like two days apart, so I can attend both.  I’m getting a ticket for that, too.  He’ll have at least two more… I wonder who he’ll give them to.

Grace is having her first grade graduation, and Allison – I think?  – her fifth grade graduation.  I’ll go to both if I can.

The rest of the girls don’t really get graduations for their grades, but we’ll probably have a party for everyone anyway.

Golden week starts Monday!! I asked Yuki and friends how they feel about missing it.  They shrugged.  I guess there are fun fireworks festivals and stuff, but otherwise, it’s just a holiday, and they can spend their holiday here, so everything’s fine.

We took them to one of the good BBQ places today, and it’s official, they want to live here.  Haha!!!  I don’t really understand what Japanese people find so fascinating about the US… but maybe they feel the same about us, as well.

Oh, speaking of Jack… apparently he’s been made an honorary member of the Anime and Japanese Culture club, becauee train onee-chan is his girlfriend.  He didn’t get a chance to accept or reject, he just came to school one day and he was a member.  There was talk about making him the president, but he put his foot down at that.  I don’t blame him.  jut a member can just not show up.  The president has actual responsibilities, and… well…  he’s not really a weeb or anything like that.

They keep trying to get him to go to meetings, and he refuses.  It’s kinda hilarious.  Besides, he thinks they just want to use him to get train onee-chan (and maybe some other idols too) to come to the meetings, and he refuses to use me that way.

That’s one reason I love him.  He’s not perfect… not anywhere near perfect… he can be a little neglectful, lazy, unmotivated, all those things (he’d agree, so It’s not like I’m talking out of turn)… but he respect me and he protects me.  What more can a girl want?

Love you all!!!

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Lots of planning today!!!

Tonight Suzuka, Yuki, Haruka, and Diana all started planning for their costumes.  Diana came up with a design that everyone loves.  It’s kind of cheerleadery, but designed to be cute, like an idol outfit, with some Japanese design elements.  So they all went to the fabric store and got a bunch of fabric and they’ve been busily cutting and pinning and patterning and sewing.  Diana’s pretty good at it!

The way undersized top hat with a little ribbon might be too much, though.  Hah.

I asked what they’re going to do about panties.  I’m actually not kidding about that, Yuki told me a bunch of horror stories and those dresses are pretty short.  They said they’ve got it covered, there are special shorts for that kind of situation, and the dresses are going to have all sorts of frills and stuff too, so it’ll be hard to see anything even if they have their heels to their forehead.

And… I’ve seen them practice.  They do, a couple of times.  Geez.

And Anathema’s planning for her wedding this weekend too.  She’s…  not really in a good place.  She seems to feel like she doesn’t really deserve it, or Joe, or anything.  I mean, she wants to go through with it, and it’s not that she doesn’t love Joe or anything, but… I guess her past is coming back to haunt her.  I mean, every day she carries a reminder of her past, inside of her.  She has really mixed feelings about everything.  She’s trying to keep a brave face, but… it’s showing through.

I think maybe she needs to talk to Crystal.  Crystal might understand more than the rest of us.  It’s not like I think Anathema’s going to, well, do what Crystal did, but…  the rest of us haven’t been in quite that… shape before.

It’s really sad.  Cat-girl was having all that fun, and such a great life…  full of, well…  physical satisfaction and not much else, I guess… right up until it all fell apart.  And I feel a little bad about that.  I had a part in it, however small..

Oh well,  What’s done is done and frankly I don’t really have control over anything I do in that realm anyway.  It’s better if I cooperate, but even then…

More storms on Wednesday and Thursday.  I guess this is the stormy season.

I still don’t know what a bridesmaid does.  Sabby says don’t worry about it, our job is just to make sure the bride is supported and to not upstage her.  I can do that.  It’s not like Anathema has one of those dresses with the long train, so at least we don’t have to be carrying a train around.  She’s got a black dress with see through lacy mesh on the chest, spaghetti straps, and a plunging back with criss-cross straps. It’s short and tight but covers everything well.  Somehow she managed to go for beautiful, sexy, classy, and just a little bit, well, cat-girl, all in the same dress.  That girl knows how to fashion.  It doesn’t quite have the same effect with the baby bump, but she makes it work.

Joe’s gonna love it.

I should ask her for advice for my next formal outing.  Whatever that is.

Love you all!!!