This diary entry is part 9 of 11 in Lily's diary dated 01 - July 2021

Hi! It’s me again!  Lily!

I might not be as bubbly as I usually am.  I’m a little sad today.  Maybe it’s a let down after such a crazy weekend.  I’m not sad often but it does happen sometimes.  Lil’ miss exclamation point will have to save the exclamation points for another day.

I am so grateful to Dave and Sabby for taking me in, truly I am!  And I’m grateful that they want to take me into their family.  But I don’t know who I am.  I know I am Lily, but I chose that name.  I know Lily Day is July 25th.  I know… that’s all I know about me.  I don’t know who my “real” parents are.  I don’t know what my name is.  I don’t know what my birthday is.  I just… am.  Ever since they found me, that’s all I have to say.  I exist.

Existing is good!  But who am I?

In school they are teaching a little philosophy.  I think, therefore I am, an old guy named Descartes said a very long time ago.  I think, but I don’t remember.  I am, but am I?  I think, therefore I am, but I don’t remember, so who am I?

Some nights I have a hard time sleeping because I’m racking my brains for even the smallest scrap of memory, but I don’t have it.  It’s like it never existed.  It’s like I never existed.  Sometimes I cry out of frustration.  But I don’t let Dave or Sabby see.  I don’t want them to feel bad.

Who am I?

Well, maybe I’ll never know.  Maybe I just have to choose who I am, because nothing has been given to me except my body and some skills I don’t know how I got.

Sorry folks.  Maybe tomorrow I will be back to my bubbly and cheerful self.  But today I think I want to go back to bed.  Maybe Sabby won’t pick on me about being useful.  But she probably will.

I saw another stream with that dog-girl.  She’s hilarious!  She was playing a game called “Hidden Folks” and was going nuts with a bird noise!  Huuwwwwaaaaaaaa!!!! But she speaks a different language.  Japanese, I think.  Maybe I want to learn it.  Do you want to learn with me?  I did a little research and it’s a really hard language, but I have nothing but time right now!  There are some kids at school who are learning it, but I’m not sure I like them.  They act all weird about it, saying things like “kawai” and adding “des” onto the end of everything, and they wear cat ears and talk about cartoons.  I don’t understand them.  The other kids call them “weebs”.  But I don’t have to be a weeb to learn a language.  Right?

But dog-girl is funny.  I think I like dog-girl.

Anyway, I think I’ll either go back to bed or eat something disgustingly unhealthy.  Either way, catch you tomorrow.  Love you all!!! ❤️. Even if I’m sad today.

This diary entry is part 8 of 11 in Lily's diary dated 01 - July 2021

Hi everyone!  It’s me, Lily!

First of all, my tech guy did some maintenance last night.  It’s all really complicated and I didn’t understand any of it, but I guess there were some bugs that made it so that bullies can attack me!   That sucks!  I don’t know many bullies, but I don’t want them to attack me!  So he pushed some buttons and tweaked some knobs and spat on something, and it’s all working again.  I hope!  But if you have problems, well, we’ll get it fixed!

He says this will make things faster too, and I hope so!  I mean it was fast already, but I like even faster!  I don’t know how much he’s spending on this but he assures me not much.  I hope not.  He’s so nice to set this up for me.

Can you believe I’ve been posting here for a week?  It’s amazing, isn’t it?  So much has happened!  And so much hasn’t happened, too!  I really loved the Lily Day!  Did I tell you that?  I don’t remember.  Haha!  I loved it!  It was so great!  And I got to share it with you all!

I got my computer all set up, and maybe soon I can try out a stream or video.  I don’t know how all this works.  I see streamers online who like to play games, that kind of thing.  There’s even one dog-girl!  She’s cute but I don’t understand it.  But it seems like a fun thing to try.  I’m good at sudokus, maybe I’ll do a sudoku!  Even if I mess it up, it’ll be funny!  I think I’m smart, but computers are so hard!

Maybe my tech guy will teach me some tricks.

Oh, did I tell you?  At the waterpark, Liz fell in the water!  I know it’s a waterpark and you’re supposed to get wet, but that was funny!  We were posing for a picture, Sabby was just clicking the button, and she slipped.  Her foot went up in the air, her arms whirled around, and she just went in!  It was so funny!  She was embarrassed, but then she grabbed my leg and I went in too!  We had so much fun that day!  Sabby was clutching her tummy, she was laughing so hard!

Anyway, it was a boring day yesterday, too.  I went to see the social workers.  They didn’t have anything new to tell me, but they were very happy that Sabby wants to adopt me!  They recommended a good lawyer, and we’re going to call him soon.  I hope they can do that, I would be so happy to be an officially official part of the family!  Sabby assures me that I already am, though.  I feel it!  I feel like part of the family!  We don’t fight much, though.  They don’t ask unreasonable things of me, and I’m just grateful for them.  I feel bad when I’m in a bad or grumpy mood though.  It happens!

I use so many exclamation points!  People call me bubbly.  I don’t think I am.  I’m just a happy, lucky girl!  Even though I don’t have my memory.  Maybe because I don’t have my memory!  I think some people are weighed down by their memories, their memories hurt them, their memories trap them.  But I don’t have that problem!  I can be happy and not worry!  But I do wish I knew what my name was.  That’s all I really want from my memories.  My name, and a birthday.

I just got back from a run with Liz.  It’s so hot out right now.  I guess that’s summer here.  It’s been very wet, though, and this summer probably won’t last too long.  Before we know it, we’ll get another freak ice storm and the power will go out!  Dave and Sabby assure me that that’s historically unusual here.  But I don’t know.  It was my first winter.

I sure picked an awful time to show up, didn’t I?

Oh well.  Today’s another boring day.  Maybe I’ll practice streaming.

Love you all!!! ❤️. Oh, and here’s a chocolate one too!  🤎 I love chocolate!  Chomp chomp!