HI! IT’S ME! LILY!!!
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This morning everything was the same, but different. I got kissed yesterday! Not just a little kiss, but properly kissed! Like in the movies! I don’t feel any different today, but I feel very different at the same time. Jack is such a nice boy and he kisses well too!
I went down for my run and Jack was there. But I decided to just ignore him and run. I think I attacked that treadmill like Grace did her waffle yesterday. I just ran and ran until I lost track of time. Until I felt a gentle touch on the small of my back.
I looked back, and there was Jack. I removed my earbud.
“We’re getting breakfast soon.”
I nodded and started my cool down routine. He looked at me with a look I couldn’t quite read. It was a different look than yesterday. There was a… sadness… in it I haven’t seen before. Without another word, he sauntered out of the room.
Y’know, it’s funny. When you first arrive at a new place everything’s so fresh and new, but eventually even the best things get old… or at least normal. At breakfast, I went to the buffet, and actually got some stuff without chocolate. I love chocolate! I don’t want it to think I’m cheating on it! But sometimes you just feel like eating something else. I did get some hot chocolate, but I had some scrambled eggs and syrup, some sausage, and a couple of pancakes with fruit. Still delicious.
Grace had a cut up waffle and a sliced up piece of sausage. She was chattering about how great a time she had yesterday.
I was eating, and Jack said, quietly, “I read your site last night.”
I turned red. I couldn’t help it. “All of it?”
“All of it. I even signed up as a subscriber. I read that too. Nice pic of you in your swimsuit, by the way.”
I blushed harder, and gulped. “And…?”
“And I was right. You’re amazing.”
Oh God I melted. I just melted. I turned into a little Lily puddle and felt like I was going to slide out of my chair and oh my God.
“I’m… amazing?”, I said, not quite trusting my ears.
He nodded. “You’re amazing. You’ve been through so much. So many tears,” he said quietly. Everyone else at the table had stopped speaking and was listening to him, even if they were trying to pretend they weren’t. He blushed a little, but soldiered on. “So many tears, and you’re still amazing.”
I felt flustered. “I… I don’t know what to say.”
Liz’s mother spoke up. “I think ‘thank you’ would be in order, dear.”
I lowered my head, not really embarrassed but just flattered at his words. “Thank you,” I murmured.
Grace, thank GOD, spoke up right at that moment. ‘I GOTTA POOP!” The huge smile on her face completely belied the earth shattering importance of her statement.
We all laughed. The tension was broken. Her mother came and got her and took her to the bathroom. I couldn’t look at Jack anymore. I just couldn’t. Every time I did, I blushed.
After breakfast, we packed up our swimsuits and beach stuff and packed ourselves into the car. Jack and Liz traded places, so we could sit together. Liz is being soooo nice about the whole thing, it’s amazing. I asked her about that last night, and all she’d say was “You’ve been through a lot. You need some good things in your life. I don’t want to take this away from you.”
I love Liz.
Turns out Florida has lots of lakes, and quite a few around Orlando. We drove to one of the larger ones. The adults had all chipped in and rented a boat, and a nice one too. Jack and I spent the entire trip there talking and holding hands. He asked me about some of the stuff I’d talked about here, and I answered. I couldn’t quite read the look on his face, but it was softer than yesterday, somehow. Like there was some emotion that neither of us quite understood. Every now and then he’d rub my hand with his thumb and I’d just melt. He was just looking ahead and out the window and sometimes at me with that look that made me just crumble all over again…
Oh God, Sabby was right. Sabby was soooooo right. Liz’s mother was right. Everyone was right. I didn’t think I wanted a boyfriend but I’d give a lot to have this every day.
Oh no. I’m in soooo much trouble.
Finally we got on the boat. the lake was soooo beautiful and the air smelled soooo good! I even forgot about Jack for a while! We made our way back to the beach and I stripped down to my swimsuit and waded into the lake. Liz and Jack and Grace and I splashed and swam and had such a great time! Finally everything calmed down, and I laid in one of the sunbeds soaking up some sun. I know the sun can be dangerous but it’s sooo nice. Jack was near but he wasn’t within touching distance. I flipped over, and suddenly I heard the squirting of suntan lotion and felt hands on my back. I struggled to look and heard Jack’s voice.
“Ssssh,” he said. “Your back needs sunscreen.”
Oh no oh no oh no oh… yes. Oh yes. I relaxed into the sunbed and turned to putty. I think he kept going a little longer than he had to, but finally he stopped. Why didn’t anyone tell me it was so nice to have your crush put suntan lotion on you?
“Do you need your legs done?,” he asked innocently.
“No. Thank you. I’m okay.” He audibly shrugged and went off to catch some rays of his own.
After an hour or so, after I’d drifted off into a sleepy haze, he came over and said that it was time for dinner. I got up and put my street clothes on, and we packed up and piled into the car. He held my hand some more and it was the nicest thing ever.
After dinner we went back to the hotel. Jack and I shared a goodnight kiss. We both went back into our rooms. Liz was practicing violin and would be for about an hour, and I… I couldn’t think straight. I just kept thinking bout Jack, and how it made me feel when he was holding my hands. I sighed and laid there, just trying to get a handle on how I felt.
It wasn’t love. At least not really love. I think we had gotten to know each other and we really liked each other and I think it could be something if we weren’t a thousand miles apart most of the time. And that look he was giving me all day, it wasn’t just about my body, I’m sure of it. He read this site and still thought I was amazing. But today… he held my hand and rubbed suntan lotion on my back and kissed me, and I loved it. It made me want a boyfriend for the first time in my life. That I can remember, anyway.
I hope he reads this tonight. I hope he does. We need to talk about it.
Edit: He read it. He texted me just two words before I went to sleep. “I agree.”