Month: August 2023

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Jack’s parents invited me over today to help plan his birthday.  They said we’ve been together for over a year and a half now, so that pretty much makes me family, and I get to help plan my boyfriend’s party.

That’s nice of them.  But I’m not good at that kind of thing.

So I basically just nodded at all the right places and said “sounds good to me”.

We’ll have it next weekend, even though his birthday is on the 24th.  He has school, after all.

They were talking about having a party for me at the same time, and I said no, they’re invited to my party if they want to come, but this is for him.  They seemed satisfied with my answer.  I wonder if that was a test.  They’re not above testing me sometimes.  I think I fail a few, but pass a few too, so it works out I guess.  They never forbade us…

And after my birthday, they can’t.

But that doesn’t mean they don’t have leverage…

I just realized that I probably actually have enough money to buy a house, but I also think considering that I want to go to school in Tokyo, that might be a terrible idea.  But if I can afford it, maybe an investment property isn’t the worst idea.  I’ll talk to Dave and Sabby about it.  Even if I were to do that, maybe it’s not the right time.

It’s a little…  weird… having to make my own decisions now, isn’t it?

I owe it to them to be responsible, I think.  Sabby’s been really pounding that into me, and she’s right.  It’s too easy not to be, y’know?

Anyway… Allison left today (after we fed her grilled cheese sandwiches with sugar free maple syrup) but all the other girls stayed over.  We went to the mall and wandered around, and had something from the food court.  It’s always fun going with them, but we mostly just window shop.  Now we’re all full of pizza, playing games and about to get ready for bed.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

And it’s Friday!!!

You know, I don’t really know when it became a thing we do that all the girls come over on Friday, but that’s been the case most Fridays for a long time now.  We get into our jammies (and no, you silly-billies, they’re just flannel things that are warm and comfy, so stop imagining.  pppppppbbbbttttt) and play games and eat chocolate and leftover pizza and and share videos and photos and talk to all our friends in Japan and SoCal.  I look forward to it all week, spending time with my sisters.

And this week Allison’s over too!!!  She doesn’t get to come over often because she’s little and has other things to do, but her mother isn’t feeling well and she wanted to come over, so she’s here!!!  She likes her new school but feels a bit like a misfit, but I told her that’s okay, we all feel like misfits when trying new stuff!!! How do you think I felt the first time I went to Japan! I’m taller than most of them!  Even the men!!!

I’m teaching everyone how to play a card game called “doodle” I found online.  It’s so much fun!!!  You have to be fast.  It’s not one of those card games where you take turns and take tricks and go fish and all that.  It’s a free for all, arms are flying and girls are yelling “doodle!”  It’s hilarious.  The Aidols and Rebecca and Friends ™ can’t really play, so they just watch us and laugh their butts off at when we get going.  Smart-aleck Rebecca put on a cheerleader outfit and is doing silly cheers.  “I don’t want to eat your poodle but you’re killing it at doodle!  YAAAAAAAY”  Hahaha.  I didn’t know she could come up with stuff like that.  And girl did a backflip!!!

Anyway, They all have pizza too and the Aidols got some snacks at the konbini, so we’re all pigging out (even though it’s like morning in Japan) and having a blast.

I kinda miss when we were all together, tbh.

Maybe we can make that happen before I move to Japan.

Anyway, they’re calling onee-chan back to the game, they know I post here but they’d rather be doing silly girlie stuff.  So…  off I go!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

And it’s less than a week to Jack’s birthday, and a little over two weeks till mine.

I got a letter today from the trust administrator.  He asked me what I wanted to do with my trust, because it was going to become mine on my eighteenth birthday.  I have a lot of options – I can let it ride with them and let them continue to manage it.  After that other guy got fired, they’ve been doing an okay job, but I’m not sure I want to do that.  I can have it transferred into a bank account, which I’m not really sure I want to do because of inflation.  I can have my own investment account, which…  has its own risks.  I don’t really know.  I think I’m going to talk to my financial advisor.  Either way, I’m going to need a chunk of that for school.  That’s one advantage – at least school is paid for and I’ll have enough for the flights and stuff too.  All for the low, low price of my memories.

And something else, that I don’t know what it is yet.  And I may never.

I know that’s a little, umm… privileged.  But I don’t feel bad about it.  I paid for it.  I don’t even know what the full price is, but I paid for it.

Remember when I first found out I had that trust?  Sabby told me that I’m not to spend it on other people.  Not even her.  She said that I’m too generous and would spend it on everyone else, and then have nothing left over for me.  And, she was probably right.  It’s really a temptation.  I could help so many people…  but then I’d regret it.  I have to take care of my future.  I’m very glad that those who know about it (I’m “loaded” by their standards, but not really) don’t ever ask for anything or treat me different.  Well, not like they could ask for it right now anyway, right?

At least it’s more than enough to let me go to school in Tokyo… if I can manage to get in somehow.

Oh…  and in other news, remember how I said Rebecca might be moving to Texas?  Well… she’s moving to Texas.  They’re buying a nice house in Dallas, and apparently they can buy a much nicer house here… and their house there is really nice!  Dallas is still a ways away but it’s a day trip away.  She’s really conflicted about it.  She likes Texas and she gets along really well with all of my folks, but she’s got her friends there, and they aren’t moving.  But they have their reasons… I guess Robert has just decided he’s had enough of California.

From what I hear, I don’t blame him.

I don’t know when she’s moving, though.  I’d guess around Thanksgiving, but he’s still in the process of buying a house here.

So…  I guess we’ll see how that turns out.

Ai (and maybe the Aidols) will come around on Christmas, and Liz invited me to her family vacation again at Thanksgiving.  I’ll be eighteen then, so Sabby can’t really tell me not to go, but… but we’ll see.  They’re not going to Orlando this time.  I guess they haven’t decided exactly where they’re going.  Lots of cool places to go in this country, right?

Sabby’s still my mother.  She gets a say.

Anyway, I guess I should go.  So many things are changing right now, and it’s just getting faster and faster… I wonder what the next year will bring.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

I didn’t write yesterday because it was another boring day and I’m lazy.  But here I am!  Your favorite Lily!

And if you use duolingo, I’d better STILL be your favorite Lily.  Haha!!!

Anyway, tomorrow is the first day of school for Jack.  He’s really nervous.  I don’t know why, if he’s anything, he generally gets along okay.  He was bullied in his school in Ohio, but he did pretty well in his high school here.  Maybe it’s because he’s starting a new school because he moved?  Anyway, we went out today, and he…  I’ve never seen him quite like this.  Well…  maybe when we were in Orlando Disneyland.  It’s like he didn’t know what to do with himself.  He isn’t confident with the classes he took, and…  he’s kinda taken the whole “find out what you want to do” thing to heart but he’s afraid it’s going to be too late now, and…   we went to IHop and he just picked at his food and looked all morose.

The thing is, though, I can’t solve that for him.  I can do a lot of things for him (BLUSH) but I can’t solve that for him.  He has to solve that for himself.  He seems jealous that I seem to have things so together… but do I really?  I don’t really know what I want to do either.  I kinda know a little bit, I want to study piano and I want to learn more Japanese and I want to go to school in Tokyo.  But…  I don’t know any more than that.  I’ve got all the resources I need and I don’t really know either.

I’m pretty good at business and accounting, but do I really want to do that as a living?  But Sabby told me I shouldn’t major in underwater basket weaving.  I asked her if that really was a major, and she said if it’s a major at the school I go to then maybe I shouldn’t go.  She’s probably right.  But I should have a marketable skill, right?

Anyway, I encouraged Jack to see a guidance counselor at his new school.  Maybe it’s a little late to go on a specific track, but a counselor can at least get him going in the right direction.  He’s not dumb…  he’s just a bit, I dunno.  Aimless.  Which is funny, because you’d think that, well… Liz is his cousin and sh’es, umm… not aimless.  His parents keep trying to get him to take things up and he just…  he goes through the motions but nothing really interests him.

Speaking of which, Liz is also trying to figure out what she wants to do.  She’s significantly more driven, like I said, but that doesn’t mean she knows what she wants to do.  She’s really good at the violin, like I said, and pretty good at things like math and science, but I don’t know if she wants to make a career out of that.

Funny thing is, of all of us, Crystal is the one with the best idea of what she wants to do.  She’s not sure exactly what, but she wants to be a therapist or a doctor or a nurse or a veterinarian or something.  She wants to help things that are hurting.  Is it the most ironic thing that of all of us, she’s been hurt the most, but might have the biggest heart of all of us?

Or maybe that’s why.

Anyway… maybe I should see a career counselor too.  But I don’t go to the public school, I wonder where I can find one.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Well, I guess every day can’t be exciting, right?

I mean, I woke up this morning, ran, had breakfast, and then…  boring.

So Katie’s pursuing her “baby daddy” for child support, and he’s, well, not receptive is a nice way to put it.  Sabby’s helping her find a lawyer to pursue a paternity test and start the legal ball rolling, but it’d suck if he got away with that, wouldn’t it?  He really wants nothing to do with her or the baby.  How selfish can you be???  I think if Jack were to, well… he’d at least take responsibility.  His parents would probably force him!!!  So… that could be a bit of drama.  I hope it’s not too much more pressure on Katie.

Crystal’s “boyfriend”‘s trial is coming up soon.  They still don’t think she needs to testify, which is good.  They found, ummm… evidence.  And that’s all I’ll say about that.  Some men are stupid.  You don’t do illegal stuff and then make it easy to prove it!!!

Crystal doesn’t really want to hear anything about it, and I don’t blame her.  She feels really complicated about it because it wasn’t entirely unwilling on her part, but…  she also knows she was young and he manipulated her, so…  it’s for the best.

Beth’s back with her mentor, and they’re still running experiments and doing fun (for Beth) things.  She seems to feel so important when she wears her lab coat.  Haha!!!

Diana’s working on her Japanese tacos.  She’s not ready for us to try them yet, but I can’t wait!!!

And….  HEB sells onigiri now!!!

Okay… like I said, boring.  Nothing much else to talk about today.  With birthdays coming up and fall too, I’m sure it’ll get more interesting soon!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

And it was actually a pretty quiet Sunday.  Considering how busy the past few weeks have been, I’m kind of learning to value quiet, sometimes.  Sabby says she likes me to be doing useful stuff, but sometimes it’s useful to just sit and think.  I think so, anyway.  Or maybe read manga, or something else that’s quiet.

What happened on Friday has really made me think.  You know, with Katie.

I don’t really think of myself as anything special, you know.  I’m not.  I’m just Lily.  Your favorite seventeen your old, half-Japanese girl with an unhealthy love of chocolate.  I’m not perfect.  You know I’m not perfect.  My flaws are actually related to my greatest strengths, don’t you think?

But I’ve never thought about how I relate to my sisters.  To me, they’re just sisters, you know?  I don’t mean just sisters, but…  just sisters.  It’s not like I spend all my time thinking about them or wanting to be around them or anything, and it’s not even like they don’t annoy the heck out of me sometimes, like they did in Japan (I understand what they were doing, and it still annoys me just a bit).  And it’s not like I don’t annoy them sometimes.  Like when Beth got upset that I don’t include her in anything (I hope that’s put to rest for good now, Japan is being included in a lot of things).  But they’re my sisters.  I love them and I don’t know how I could not love them.  They’re…  my sisters.  It’s just how I am.

But Katie was acting like it’s kind of a superpower in a sense.  Do they not see their sisters that way?  Do they not love people who come along and need to be loved?  Why is it so out of the ordinary to love your sisters?  She thought so highly of that she asked me to include her baby.  Her baby, that’s not even two weeks old yet.

I don’t understand why this is so special.

But I have to admit it probably kind of is.  I mean, Sabby said that Beth isn’t like that.  I’d have to agree, even though I hate to agree.  She’s not.  She does love her friends, and she loves me too, but she’s very guarded with her heart.  She doesn’t let people in easily and it really hurts her when she does and they violate her trust.  I think she’s very fond of Diana and Crystal – they’re her best friends, like Liz is my best friend, and they’re my little sisters, like Beth is.  But the rest of them?  She accepts them, but I don’t think she really loves them.  Maybe she does!  But I don’t think she does.  Ai is my cousin, not hers.  Rebecca is my half-sister, not hers.  She likes them, but they’re not family.

Maybe I should be more guarded with my heart.  Maybe I’ll get hurt someday, and maybe it will hurt more.

But I don’t know how I can be anything other than Lily.  And would you love me less if I were any different?

I often wonder if the group chat would stay together if it weren’t for me.  Maybe it would.  I’m not saying it out of ego.  But there’s so many different groups of girls, and they all revolve around me.  Ai is my cousin, and her friends are her friends.  Rebecca is my half sister, and her friends are her friends.  Would, say, Chelsi and Minami ever meet and talk and get to know each other if I wasn’t around?  I’d guess… no.  Not at all.  So there are at least three distinct groups of friends who all only have me as their common denominator.

But they still get on zoom and chitter and chatter and talk about things and play games and share photos and videos.  They don’t need me.  And yet…  there they all are.

You might ask how Emiko and Robert got along on the trip to Japan.  Well, apart from the flight, we didn’t see a whole lot of Robert.  He did take her aside during the flight and chat with her in low voices, and while she didn’t look happy, she nodded and they didn’t say anything more to each other.  I asked her how she felt about him being there and she said “I have a husband.  Other than you, he’s a complete stranger, and I don’t know him.  He told me that he understands he hurt me and if he’d known, he would not have let me struggle as much as I did.”  She sniffled, and said “we both made mistakes.  I could have sought him out.  I didn’t.  So we agreed to let the past be in the past.  We both have our families now, we both have you, and that has to be enough.”

They’re not friends though.

I don’t expect them to be.

I have a family.  I don’t need them to be friends for my sake.  I just need them to stay off of each others’ throats.  And I think that’s not a problem.

I didn’t ask Robert.  I didn’t feel I needed to.

Anyway, as I said, a pretty quiet day.  Dave promised to grill when the temperature stops being so dang hot.  I can’t wait, I love Dave’s grilling.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

I was looking back at my old posts from a year ago, when I went to Japan the first time, and I was struck by the similarities between what Emiko did for me when I was missing my family on Lily Day, and what I did for crystal.  It was actually almost the same!!!  A year ago, I was crying and Liz comforted me, and this year Crystal was crying and i comforted her.  And then Emiko took me to a shrine to do an ema, and I Crystal did an ema too.  And Emiko took me to a Japanese garden and that’s when she became my family, and then I took Crystal to a Japanese garden and that’s where she found some peace.

Maybe Japan is a magical place… or maybe that’s the power of family.

Or maybe a bit of both.

Katie did get some sleep, and she’s doing better now.  And I know (a little) how to take care of a baby.  It’s easy.  Make sure what goes in is healthy and timely.  Make sure what comes out is quickly removed.  And make sure to listen when she fusses.  I mean, I’m sure there are advanced classes, but that’s not too bad, I guess.  Except, like I said, dirty diapers are FOUL.

Oh well.  Comes with being a woman I guess.  I’ll have my share of diapers someday.

Today I took Allison and her friends school shopping.  Her parents were really busy, with their move and everything, and I was glad to do it.  Allison has three neighborhood friends (that i know of!), two pretty Indian girls and one, well, pretty non-Indian girl.  All three of us and Sabby (just to be careful) went to the school supply store and they loaded up.  They all had papers saying everything they needed, and by the time they were done, I think they bought up half the store!!!

Allison’s a bit nervous about her new school, though.  I told her that she’ll make lots of new friends and find lots of fun stuff to do.  She told me she’ll miss choir, and I said maybe she should see if she can start her own!!!  I hear choir is fun.

Then I took them for chocolate frozen yogurt.  Did I mention it’s hot!!!

After I took them back, Jack and I went on a date.  Usually I’d put subscriber content here, but it’s enough to say that there would be subscriber content if I wasn’t lazy, so fill in the blanks.  It was nice to spend some time with him, though, and I saw Grace too, who was chittering and chattering just like the rest of my sisters do!  She’s starting school too, and she’s looking forward to it!  I bet she’ll make lots of friends!  Everyone loves Grace, did I tell you that???

I think I’ll sleep well tonight.  Jack always has that effect on me.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

I…  It’s been a day.

Katie asked us to come over to visit today.  She’s still taking care of her baby and she’s really exhausted – even with all the help she’s getting – which is a lot – she’s still having a hard time of it.  She said something about… umm… what did she call it?  Postpartum depression?  Yeah…  she wasn’t doing very well.  I mean, she could still function, but she was a little weepy and teary and, well… wasn’t taking care of herself very well.

Sabby took the baby and started rocking it and told her to go take a shower.

She did.  She came out looking a little better, but still a little weepy.

No one blames her for that – don’t get me wrong.  It happens.  But it’s still sad to see.  She’s usually pretty happy and chipper, and, well, now she’s not.

But then she dropped a huge bombshell on both of us.

She wants Sabby to be her godmother, and for me to be her godsister.  That’s why she named her Sabrina Lily.

I was pretty speechless.  Sabby wasn’t.  She never is.  She asked why.

“Ever since I met the two of you,” she said, sniffling a little, “I’ve seen how much family means to you.  Sabby, you’re like a lion.  You’d tear people apart if they got in the way of your family.  I’ve seen you come close a couple of times.”

Sabby blushed a little (yes, she can blush, it’s just a little harder to see), but nodded.  She knows it’s true.

“And you, Lily… I’ve seen how much your sisters mean to you.  You have so many friends, and you treat them as your own.  You’re not like Sabby, you’re not a lion…  you’re a..  I don’t know what animal you are.  But you’re always protective.  Every time you interact with them, they come out better.  I… I want that for my baby.  I… I don’t know if I’ll make a good mother.  But between the two of you…  you’ll make sure she’ll come out okay.  Even…” she sniffled.  “Even if you have to smack me around a little.”

“We’re not going to -“

“No!”, she said, a lot more forcefully than she intended, because she kind of cringed back a little.  “No,” she said, quieter this time.  “I mean that.  I don’t mean smack me smack me, but I mean…  I mean this is my baby, and I…  I don’t know if I can do this.  I need…  I need…” and then she broke down crying.

Aww.

“I need to know my baby will be safe and protected.  Even…  even from me.” She wiped her eyes.  “Don’t let me ruin her…  not like…”

“Katie?”  Sabby put her arm around Katie, who sighed gratefully.

“She shouldn’t be here,” Katie said quietly.  “I’m glad she’s here, but she shouldn’t be.  She was a mistake.  Her father was a mistake.  Maybe… maybe if I’d made a better decision…” she hiccuped.  “But I didn’t, and here she is.  She needs better than me.  I’m not asking you to take her.  I’ll still be her mother.  I’ll still feed her and clothe her and take care of her.  I’ll always feed her and clothe her and kiss her owies.  But…  she needs more than I can give her.  Do… do you understand?”

Sabby looked at her, and looked at me.  “We’ll be right back,” she said, and handed Sabrina to Katie.

Then she took me out into the other room.

“Lily…  are you okay with this?  She’s… she’s asking a lot.  She’s asking for a commitment, from both of us…  to her and her baby.  Can you do that?”

“I…  If I go to live in Japan…”

“Not like that… just… to always be involved in her life, to make sure she doesn’t come to harm… in your case, to mentor her and be her big sister.  I know how good you are with your other sisters.  But if you make this commitment, you have to follow through.  You have to.  You can’t back out, you can’t drop her, you can’t leave her when it’s not convenient.  Can you do that?”

I nodded.  “Never too many sisters.”

Sabby wiped her eye.  “I knew you’d say that, Lily.  You always say that.  But what makes you special is…  you mean it.  You have a lot of sisters, and every time you call someone your sister, you live it.  You have… no idea how special that is.”  She gave me a big hug.  “No idea at all.  Beth’s not like that.  I love her, but… she’s not like that.  She’s grown so much since she got to know you.  They all have.”

I sniffled a little too.  She patted my head (heh) and we went back into Katie’s room.

We sat back down on the edge of Katie’s bed.

“Katie,” Sabby said, “You’re asking for a big commitment from us.  If we’re going to do that, we need as big a commitment from you.  You’re asking us to make your daughter, in a very real way, a part of our family.  We take that seriously.  You know how seriously Lily takes it when she accepts someone as her sister.  ‘Never too many sisters,” she always says.  But that means you can’t take her away from us.  You have to actually let us treat you like family.  That doesn’t mean we don’t disagree, that doesn’t mean we don’t have fights, but it means you will never take her away from us or hold it against us.  I don’t think you would, but…  but I want to make sure you know what you’re asking for.”

Katie nodded.  “I know what I’m asking.”

“I want you to make one more promise to us,” Sabby said.  “If you’re serious about this.”

Katie nodded.  “Anything.”

“Well, we’ll see.  I want you to promise that, when you find another man, that you will take our opinions of him seriously.  You…  already made one bad choice, and…  I will not have my goddaughter having a, well… you know… as a stepfather.”

Katie’s face contorted a little, but then she relaxed and nodded.  “I hate that.  It makes me a little angry.  But…  you’re right.  It’s best for her.”

Sabby blew out a breath.  “That was not fun to say,” she said.  “I know I have this reputation as a lion, and Lily likes to say I ‘go all Claire Huxtable on people'” – I giggled and she shot me a look – “but it’s not an easy thing to do,” she said, rather softly for her.  She looked at me.  “I hate doing it,” she said, “and if you tell anyone else, I’ll deny it.  But I hate having to say these things, I hate having to be a lion.”  She actually deflated a little.  “But I’ll do what I need to do for my family.  For family I have, and…  and for family I chose.”  She reached down, and in an uncharacteristic gesture for Sabby, she stroked Katie’s face a little.  “This makes you family too,” she said, softly.  “And I’ll be a lion for you too.”

Katie broke down again.  I don’t think anyone’s ever said that to her.

“But,” I said, trying and mostly succeeding at keeping a giggle out of my voice, “that doesn’t mean you can slack off at work.”

Katie giggled.  “If anything I’ll work harder because I know you’ll take care of me.”

Sabby sighed.  “Lily’s got a point.  Work is separate.  It has to be.  I can’t show anyone favoritism.  That could get me in a lot of trouble, legally.  But…  no matter what happens at work…  it won’t change this.  That’s all I can promise.  Do you understand?”

Katie nodded.  “I won’t let you down.”

“I know you won’t.”  She held out her arms for Sabrina, and Katie gave her back to Sabby.  “Now, you sleep, and I’m going to teach Lily how to take care of a baby.”

Katie smiled, murmured a thank you, rolled over, and was snoring within minutes.

And I learned how absolutely foul dirty diapers are.

Ewwww.

But it’s what we both signed up for.

But I also learned how absolutely adorable a sleeping baby is.  Now I want one.  Sabby shot me a look, like she knew what I was thinking.  Crap.  Now I’m going to get another talk.

We came home after a few hours, and now all the girls are over, but I’ve been thinking all night about what Sabby said.  How I always say “never too many sisters”, and how I treat my sisters once I’ve accepted them as a sister, and how Crystal’s mother said “thank you for giving me back my little girl”, and…  and now I’m watching Beth and Liz and Crystal and Diana playing games in their pajamas and chattering and chittering about everything and nothing, and there’s a group video call going on on my tablet with the Aidols and Rebecca and her friends…  and they’re my sisters.  They’re all my sisters.  And I love them so much.

And now I have another, new sister.  Who’s so little she doesn’t even know I’m her sister.  I guess I’ll be Auntie Lily or something as she grows up.  And I love her too.  Just as much.  I love them all.

They just said they want “onee-chan” to come over and be a part of the group.  Onee-chan.  I… maybe I wasn’t fair to them.  Maybe that was their way of treating me like a big sister….  maybe… maybe I’m a jerk.  Maybe I’m the biggest jerk in the world.  I…  I think I’d better go apologize to them.  To all of them.

They’re my sisters.  But I’m their sister too.  Their big sister.  Their…  their big sister.  Their onee-chan.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

School is starting up again!!!  I start the 21st, Jack starts next week, everyone’s doing their school stuff!!!

For those who don’t know, I homeschool, but a part of that is that I go to Austin Community College, and take some courses.  They’re hard but not too hard, and I’ve been doing pretty well, though Beth is smoking me.  Haha!  It’s okay.  She’s always been smarter than me.

My birthday is in less than a month and it’s time to start thinking of things to do!!!

What a summer this has been.

I guess after Japan, I don’t really feel like going many places right now, I’m just kind of being an introvert.  But that’s okay, sometimes it just is what it is.  Oh well.  I’m usually a pretty extroverted girl but sometimes it gets to be too much.

And it’s still hot outside!!! It’s been like 105 for the past month!!! And it’ll be 105 for longer. Aww.  This is one thing I don’t like about Texas.  I wonder if I can talk Sabby into taking me to Ohio or Maine.  Probably not.  We already spent too much in Japan.

Anyway, short entry today, I guess.  Time for bed!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

And… I hit a wall today.  Aww.

I was just tired all day.  I didn’t feel like doing anything.  I just wanted to sleep.  So… I did.  Sabby didn’t mind, she knows that the vacation took a lot out of us.  And it’s so hot outside, just unendingly hot.

I don’t think I ever left my pajamas today.

Crystal’s mother called me today and asked me why Crystal seems… different.  So I told her.  Everything.  She just listened and when she spoke, her voice was breaking.

“Thank you for giving me my little girl back”, she said.

I didn’t… know what to say.  I wasn’t trying to give her a little girl back.  I was just… trying to be a good big sister.  But maybe that’s what good big sisters do… right?  I asked her to let her wear her kimono when she wants and to maybe see if she can find a peaceful place for her to zone out.  She said she’d see what she could do.

Crystal’s parents did fail her.  I can’t sugar-coat that.  They did.  But they weren’t trying to.  They didn’t set out one day and say “We want to mess up our daughter, muahahaaha” and twirl their mustaches like some cartoon villain.  They did the best they could and it ended up severely damaging their daughter.  That’s just how life is, I guess.  Maybe my adopted parents before Sabby were the same..  The Rittenhouses?  I don’t remember.  Maybe they just found themselves in a situation that they couldn’t easily get out of, and…  Crystal was hurt.

They really do want what’s best for Crystal.

I hope they help her hold on to the peace she found in Japan.

Peace is fleeting.  It really is.

Anyway, the group chat is really hopping right now.  Everyone’s talking about the trip or how their parents and siblings liked their presents or picking on me about being onee-chan (sigh)…  and Ai’s friends English isn’t that good but they’re asking all sorts of questions about America.  They want to go to a Buc-ees.  Big surprise there.  Everyone seems to want to go to a Buc-ees.

And Britni’s dropped all pretense and is now trying to figure out how to be herself without making everyone else feel stupid.  She’s been acting stupid for so long she’s forgotten how to be smart.  And Rebecca and friends are already planning on how to use their anime uniforms for fun and profit…  or at least to play a huge prank on their school when it starts.

The Aidols are tentatively planning to come to the US for Christmas.  That’ll be fun.

Oh well.  I’m going to bed.  Lots to do tomorrow – every day can’t be a lazy day.

Love you all!!! ❤