Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!
Today was essentially a free day. Sabby pretty much put her foot down and said “You all have been practicing way too much – go have some fun and I don’t want to see a single dance out of any of you today. And Lily, you’d better not press any keys on that piano”.
I guess she’s not wrong.
So the four of us went out sightseeing.
I’d be lying if I said there was a lot to see here… so we all went down to the Riverwalk in San Antonio and, well, walked along the river Suzuka and Haruna did a lot of shopping (because of course they did), and otherwise we just kind of wandered around and took in the sights.
While we were there I asked Haruna what was wrong.
She… didn’t really seem like she wanted to talk, but she seemed like she did at the same time, if that makes any sense. I didn’t pry too hard, but something’s really bothering her.
Finally we got home this evening and I kind of cornered her.
“You know what they said about me being a walking shrine?”
She nodded.
“It’s not often a shrine comes to you, but that’s what’s happening now. Bow and clap and throw money at me if you must, but tell me what’s wrong.”
So… she finally opened up.
She’s scared. I mean, really scared.
Not of anything concrete. I mean, it’s not like she’s not safe or anything like that, but she’s scared of her future. Not having a husband is just a small part of it. She feels like she left the idol world and doesn’t have anything else, all she’s got now are odd jobs in entertainment and it’s hard to get by. She… feels like she’s already washed up. In her early twenties.
And the thing is… she may not be entirely wrong.
I asked her why she doesn’t go to school… she said she tried but failed her entrance exams and she just… gave up.
The worst part is, I didn’t know what to tell her.
But I didn’t have to. I got a message.
“Why… are your eyes glowing?” she asked, and I.. well, somewhat I… spoke. I don’t remember everything I said but she was sobbing after. I mean, ugly crying hiccupping curled up in a fetal position crying. But in between sobs, she said it was alright, she’d just never had a shrine actually talk to her before. It was something about how she keeps going to shrines and bowing and clapping and making a wish, but none of them really had any power, and the being that actually has power is talking to her, and everything’s going to turn out okay if she just trusts.
Suzuka came in too, and so did Yuki, and the three of us just cuddled her until she fell asleep.
I guess she needed that.
I went to buy her a chocolate milkshake after putting her in her futon. It always helps me, after all.
She asked again who I was enshrining.
I still don’t really know. But it looks like whoever it is has power.
She tried asking me a few questions, but I just shrugged. I told her that unless whatever I’m “enshrining” is speaking, I don’t know much more than she does. I did say that when she went to the shrine, her prayers were heard… just not by the kami enshrined there. Whatever that means.
Anyway, she seemed a little lighter after that. I hope she finds what she’s looking for.
Tomorrow is supposed to be stormy. Aww.