This diary entry is part 6 of 31 in Lily's diary dated 14 - August 2022

HI! It’s me! Lily!

And today was Lily Day!!!  Yay!!!

But they did it a little differently this year.  Last year they said I could do anything I wanted, but Sabby didn’t think that made a whole lot of sense this year, and considering Yuriko Day and my birthday coming up, I kind of agreed.  I want to be wanted, not so much spoiled, y’know?  So instead, this morning, they took us all into a very crowded living room (my family, all the girls who stayed over, Liz’s parents, and even Emiko and her family and ojiisan and obaasan and Ai and Jack and Grace and everyone else on zoom).  And all Dave and Sabby did was say that it was one year since the last Lily day, that they didn’t at all regret adopting me, and that they were very proud of me.  And they started a new ceremony – the shoving in of the chocolate.  I had to open my mouth and they fed me a piece of chocolate, with all the ceremony of being knighted by the Queen.

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry hysterically.  I just settled for blubbering a little and hugging everyone in the room.

And then we went for chocolate pancakes.  Well, My family and all the girls did.  Everyone else, well, that would have really taxed the pancake place, I think!  Allison’s mother came to pick her up, though.  Sadly she can’t really eat pancakes.  But I think she’ll get a grilled cheese sandwich later!

I talked to Sabby about my birth father.  She said of course she’d support whatever I decided, and I wasn’t wrong to kind of resent him, but he was a young man at the time, and he didn’t have a clue about me.  So, maybe I should at least hear him out.  Maybe I should.  But…  I still… I don’t know.  I don’t like the idea of not meaning anything more to someone than a faint echo of a good time seventeen years ago.  I mean, I guess I can understand a little how he feels – finding out seventeen years later you have a daughter you never even knew about has to be…  a bit of a shock.

Maybe he would have done the right thing if he’d known.  I guess there’s only one way to find out.

So this afternoon Beth and I studied for the TSI, after all the girls made their way home.  I missed them!!!  It’s so much fun playing games and chatting about boys (such as it is, we’re careful when Allison’s around) and the piles are very warm and smell like girl (and sometimes things other than girl when someone’s had tacos… eww).  But life goes on.

I’m sooo happy to have all the friends and family that I do, though, and I just keep finding more friends and family, and my life is sooo different than it was even a year ago!  I went to Japan, and found out who I was, and met family I didn’t know about, and there’s still more to discover!!!  So many people I love!!!  Life is hard sometimes but as long as I have my family and friends, it’ll be fine!!!  Lily day isn’t just about me.  It’s about everyone who loves me, and everyone I love.  I hope every year has a Lily Day.

And to the random person who mailed me – Liz isn’t pregnant.  😐 She just had the same thing I did.  I told her that and she cracked up so hard.  She says, and I quote:  “There’s a certain thing you have to do in order to get pregnant and I dumped the last guy who tried!”  So hah.

Love you all!!! ❤

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