This diary entry is part 5 of 31 in Lily's diary dated 14 - August 2022

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

Sabby was telling me about these things there used to be called “Soap Operas”.  They were… television programs that would be run during the day when housewives were home (back when that was more of a thing) and they were called that because they used to run soap commercials.  I don’t know if they really exist anymore, I guess they do, but I have no idea where I’d find them.  I said that, and Sabby told me I was making her feel old.  Well, she is!!!

But just to young people like me, I guess.  To Ojiisan and Obaasan, she’d be young.

Anyway, she was telling me how they’d kind of careen from one crisis to another, with people marrying, divorcing, being born, dying, etc., sometimes with no concern given to plot holes, and sometimes they’d have something at the end she called a “cliffhanger”, where they’d have some plot point that would come up, and then it’d end on an organ chord.

My life is a soap opera.

So today I got an email.  See, I made a mistake.  A huge mistake.  I actually wrote the name of my birth father on my blog.  Well, his wife was doing a google search, and found it.  And she thinks her husband is my birth father.  She wrote me an email and told me that, and told me about him.  Then she asked me if I wanted further information or to meet him.

I…  don’t know if I do.

She did say that he is a marketing director at a company somewhere.  I guess that would make sense.  It was the business folks that partied hard in college, right?  I guess he’s done alright for himself, not rich but not poor either, kind of like Dave.  He married right out of college and his daughter is about Beth’s age, give or take.  She seems nice, and he didn’t know, but…  but I was just a good time to him, you know?  At least Emiko had to carry me to term and birth me.  She knew me.  All my birth father knew was that Emiko, well…  let him do what he wanted to her.

Do I want to get to know him?  I don’t know.  I don’t think so.  But it might still be good to know about his medical history, etc.  I’m…  torn.  And a little sad.  Of all the people in my life, he’s one of the most impactful, and he never even knew I existed.  Maybe it’s not fair to him, maybe none of it was, but it’s not fair to me either!!!

Anyway, the girls are over, and they’re really loving my stories about Japan.  They really love the bunnies!  They want to go to ookunoshima now!  Maybe someday we can all go, but…  maybe even for me it was a once in a lifetime thing.  I hope not, but…  but it might be.  That makes me sad.  I loved it there.  In fact, all of this makes me sad.  But tonight’s not a night for sadness.  But sometimes sadness doesn’t care what night it is.  I wish my birth father’s wife hadn’t mailed me.  But she did, and now I have to deal with it.

All the girls do love their presents, though.  Allison’s wearing her bunny ears!!!  Now we’re going to make the first pile in three weeks!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

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