This diary entry is part 4 of 28 in Lily's diary dated 31 - January 2024

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

I GOT RID OF PATREON!!!

Yup, it’s gone.  All gone.  In its place is a subscriber mechanism. Up in the upper right corner you’ll see an account dropdown.  You can register with a new one.  It’ll give you a user profile and everything.  I might need to tweak it a bit, but I’ve never liked Patreon, and it’s gone.  Gone gone gone!!!  YAAAAAYYYY!!!!

And now I don’t have to follow their rules anymore, so I can be as honest as I want!!!!

That was a lot of work, though.  It was pretty mashed in there…

Anyway…

The aidols are back in Japan now.  I got a few different texts all saying they’re home safe and that they’re happy they met me and they can’t wait to meet up again.  They’re so nice!!!  I’ve got more sisters now!!!

Anyway, that was a lot of work, and I’m tired.  This will be a short one.  All that work and I practiced a lot today too.  Time to work up that piece for the concert…

Just so you can test your account if you sign up, I’ll put something right below that only subscribers can see.  Ready?

This content has been restricted to logged in users only. Please login to view this content.

Hahahaha!!!!!

Normally that box won’t be there, but I left it this time so you can see where it would go.

Love you all!!! ❤️

This diary entry is part 3 of 28 in Lily's diary dated 31 - January 2024

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Well, back to the grind.

I was looking back on more of my posts today… was I really like that?  Was I that…  young?  Or annoying?  Or…  lots of things, I guess.  I feel so different now.  I guess I feel like an adult, with adult problems… even if you adults would say “you don’t have adult problems, you’re just a stupid young girl”.

Maybe so, but my problems are important to me.

I tried so hard to do different things.  I tried doing YouTubes, I even did a twitch stream, I did lots of things to try them out… and this diary’s the only thing that stuck.  Maybe it’s because with them I was trying to be something I’m not, and here… I’m never something I’m not.  I’m just Lily.  I’m not a streamer, I’m not a video personality, I’m… Lily.

And I seem to be at my best when I’m talking about my life… and my friends.

Maybe it’s because my friends are the only really important thing I have.

There’s Liz… my best friend ever who knows me almost as well as I know myself…  has been there almost as long as my actual family… Beth… my sister in everything but name and even in name…  there’s Crystal, my little sister who’s been through so much and is one of the strongest girls I know… and Diana, for whom family is so important and her culture means so much to her.  There’s Rebecca, my half sister who I just got to know…  she’s pretty well off but doesn’t let it go to her head…  Ai, my cousin who is so Japanese and such a sweetheart too…  and so many others as well… all of them my sisters and my friends…  and they’ve been the only constant in my story.  Every day I think I say something else about my sisters, or my parents, or someone else that’s really important to me.  That’s what it’s all about, that’s what it’s always been about.

And Liz and Beth always remind me that somehow I make peoples’ lives better just by existing.  I mean, look at Minami.  she came here to Texas kind of a mess, and so sad because she saw how my family was and how broken hers was… and somehow she left with an audition with a Japanese recording studio…  and I know I didn’t have anything really to do with it, but somehow I also had everything to do with it.  And that happens all the time.  Yuki gets to be an idol a little bit here and she seems so much happier than when I met her… Crystal is such a broken girl but she’s also so strong and I’ve watched her blossom since the first time I met her, when she smushed food in Beth’s face (Beth deserved it!).  And Beth too… she’s learning to sing now and she wants to be in a band, and she’s gotten so much better with her jealousy…

I’m not really taking credit for it… but the aidols told me I was like a walking shrine, and maybe… maybe that’s what walking shrines do.

And of course there’s Jack, too…  who I love in a very different way, but just as much.  None of the girls will ever be allowed to touch me like he is allowed to.

Some days I wonder who will be there for me, when I’m there for everyone else… and then one of my sisters gives me a hug or talks about something silly with me or makes a girl pile and cuddles up to me and lets me hold them like a big teddy bear… and I know they’re there for me too and they love me too.

That’s what it’s all about, that’s what it’s always been about, ever since I started this diary, and before.  I’ve done a lot of things.  I helped start a business, I started going to community college classes, I performed piano in front of a lot of people…  but the only thing that really matters… and ever will matter…  are the people I know, the people who I love, and the people who love me too.

Love you all!!! ❤️

This diary entry is part 2 of 28 in Lily's diary dated 31 - January 2024

Hi! it’s me! Lily!!!

So we took the aidols to Houston today.  It was bittersweet – they had a good time and they said they really liked spending time with all of us.  The aidols hadn’t really hung around many gaijin and they like how expressive and warm we can be.  They also think we’re a bit intimidating.  Maybe we are.  But they all gave us a hug before we went home, and I stopped in to say hi to Emiko and her family too for a little while.

I was looking through my old posts, and I feel a little sad.  It’s funny how much I’ve changed in the past couple of years.  I used to be so bright and cheerful and happy… I still am, but not in the same way.  I’d bounce around the mall and just be happy… and now I’ve got stuff to do and things to think about and a rapidly approaching graduation that frankly scares me.  And there were a few things that I talked about that I mentioned were going to happen and never talked about again.  Like David learning a language, for example.  I never told you how that turned out!  Basically, he tried for a few weeks, got sullen, and Sabby just gave up.  That was around the time she sent him to the summer camp too for the first time.

But they kind of gave up on trying to make me all mechanical too, so it all evens out.  Even though I did rebuild that engine.  I guess that was just a matter of necessity, though.  The engine needed to be rebuilt, and it was a good learning experience.  But I could say the same about David – he went to Japan and knew very little Japanese, and he could have learned a lot more!

I’ve written so much stuff here I’m compiling it into a kind of book!  So there will be some changes here once that’s done.  I’ll let you know how that turns out.

And I wonder when I’m going to stop posting here.  I can’t do it forever.  Eventually I’ll just have too much life.

Aww.

Maybe you’ll miss me.

Anyway…  I’m tired.  And a little lonely.  It was nice having four girls sleeping in here every single day.  They’d chatter or say “sharekoube” or just fall asleep and it was nice to hear them breathe.  They mostly didn’t girl-pile but that’s okay.  It was still nice having them here.  I’ll miss them.

But onwards.  There are a lot of things coming up.  There’s the culture festival, and sports day, and…  oh wait.  This isn’t an anime.  But there is a concert I need to prepare for, actually two, and then there’s Beth and the band, and applying to Meiji, and…  and it was a nice holiday, but it’s over.  Time to move on.

Love you all!!! ❤️

This diary entry is part 1 of 28 in Lily's diary dated 31 - January 2024

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

2024!  How about that!!!

So this morning we got up early – well, some of us did, the adults were pretty fried.  We got bundled up (it was pretty cold) and went to a nearby park to watch the first sunrise. It’s not something we usually do in America, but we have five and a half (Yuki stayed over) Japanese people here, so I thought it’d be a nice thing to do.

And, actually, it was.

It was like all the possibility of the year was in that sunrise.

Sometimes the Japanese do pretty cool stuff, I think.

So after that, we went back, and crashed some more.

We had a late breakfast.  They would have visited a shrine, but there isn’t one.  I let them bow and clap at me, and they were surprisingly not embarrassed to do it. I was, but I knew they weren’t doing it to me, they were doing it at me, and if nothing else, we know I represent someone, so it was fine.  I didn’t ask what they prayed for.  They didn’t tell me.  But sometimes that’s how it works.

I felt a little left out.  I can’t really bow and clap at myself.  I can’t have a shrine visit when I am the shrine.  Aww.

2024 will be a year of change.  I will graduate.  I will probably go to college.  Maybe even in Japan.  Something… will happen with Jack, and neither of us knows what.  And who knows what kind of stupid things those those Very Smart People in charge of countries will do.

But there’s no point in worrying.  Things will happen or they won’t.  At the end of the day… 2025 will come.  It is inevitable.  It’s just what our situation will be when it does that’s up in the air.

Tomorrow we’re taking the girls down to Houston to spend a day with Emiko.  I hope they have fun.  Emiko will take them to the airport.

I’ll miss them.  They’re fun to have around.  I don’t want them to miss me… but I hope they do.  You don’t miss people you don’t care about.

They spent much of the day packing their stuff up and getting ready to leave.  Minami was a little teary.  I asked her why.  She just said that she’ll miss being around a real family that cares.

I understand.  Maybe more than she thinks.

I did ask her why she doesn’t feel the same way about Mariko’s… or Yuuko’s… or even Ai’s family.  She just said they treat her fine, but they’re Japanese.  People don’t really work that way there.  They treat her like…  their daughters’ friend.  Not family.  That’s sad.

Love you all!!! ❤️

This diary entry is part 26 of 26 in Lily's diary dated 30 - December 2023

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Happy New Years!!!

You know I forgot to change the banner on this site, it’s said “happy new years” for a whole year.  But…  the great thing about that is, it all came around and now it’s correct again!  Haha!!!  We’ve got lots of people here, and lots of snacks, and a little booze, but that’s just for the adults.  I guess in Japan you have to be 20, but Yuki’s the only one old enough to drink there.  So it’s root beer for us.  I don’t mind!  I like root beer!  But… Japanese people don’t.  They say it tastes like medicine. Yuuko took a sip, and, well… we found something she won’t eat.

Anyway, we have snacks, and ordered pizza, and it’s a party!!! We’re all playing games and waiting for the countdown and eating snacks.  Grace is here and trying to stay up, but she’s already getting droopy eyes, aww.  But we’re gonna let her try!  Allison is here too, with her parents, and she and Grace are having fun trying to stay up.  It’s cute.

I expect we’ll be putting blankets on them soon.

The aidols love Grace!  But everyone does, really.  Minami is playing with her and Marie, it’s cute.  Minami’s doing a little better.  I think she’s just kind of accepting how things are, and she’s looking forward to her audition when she gets back to Japan.  I guess they already have it scheduled and everything.  She told her father and he’s happy for her, though he’s too busy working to talk much, I guess.  He’s on her side, though.

Her mother isn’t too happy with it, but there was a bit of a yelling match on the phone, and, well, she’s doing it anyway.  She says it’s like she lives on her own anyway, if she has to actually live on her own, well, she won’t be taking care of her useless mother anymore.

Japanese people usually don’t say stuff like that.  She must be really annoyed.

I should go.  There’s a card game starting and I want in.

Love you all!!! ❤️

This diary entry is part 25 of 26 in Lily's diary dated 30 - December 2023

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

New years is almost here!  Can you believe it’ll be 2024?

A few years ago, I was wondering if we’d make it to 2024.  But so far I guess we have.

There’s a big eclipse coming in 2024, and I’ll be in the path of totality!!!  Woo!!!

Okay.  So today we went to Lake Travis and did lake stuff.  Dave rented a boat and we went out boating.  It was fun.  I mean, not like it was in Orlando, but it’s still a nice lake, and the Aidols had lots of fun.  I kind of wish there were like an amusement park or something but it is what it is, right?  We stopped at a place on the shore for lunch and Yuuko, of course, pigged out.  At least she’s pretty polite when she’s packing it away, David isn’t as much so.  Hah!!!

They’re taking a lot of pictures.  Hai cheee-zu!

Anyway.  Tomorrow’s our big party.  It’ll be a little less…  chaotic… than our Christmas event, but it’ll still be nice.  Jack is coming over, and Grace too!!!  We got a few of those 2024 cat ear headbands and…  I guess the adults will be boozing it up a bit.  I’m not worried, they’re usually responsible.  I’ve seen Sabby tipsy, but never really drunk.

She got close once…

Given her childhood, I guess I can understand why she doesn’t want to be truly drunk ever again.

Anyway, I guess I should go to bed.  It’ll be busy tomorrow and we’ll be staying up till midnight.  Often in Japan, people visit a shrine for new years, and will also go to see the first sunrise.  We can’t do the first.  We might be able to do the second.  I’ll see what the girls think.

But, if they’re right, and I’m a walking shrine… maybe I’ll let them pray at me.  Just this once.  I can dangle bells from my chest… okay, that’s too far.  Haha!!!

Pray at me.  Not pray to me.  I know what I am, and what I’m not.

Love you all!!! ❤️

This diary entry is part 24 of 26 in Lily's diary dated 30 - December 2023

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

And today was so much FUN!!!!

So yesterday morning we woke up, and they had a very nice breakfast waiting for us.  You know how in anime where one of the characters takes a bite of food, then exclaims “oishii” in that way that suggests that they just got a tingly in places that you don’t want tinglies in public?  Yuuko did that!  It was funny!!!  But it was delicious.  Robert was working from home, so he went off to his (rather fancy, actually) office and we just did our own thing.  We put on our swimsuits and used the pool for a while, and then hopped into the hot tub.  Mariko said it was like an artificial hot spring.  I guess so.  After that, we got dressed up and went to the arcade, and had a blast playing arcade games.  That’s the one thing Rebecca doesn’t have in her house.  We had lots of fun playing bowling and coin pusher and all the other fun stuff they had.  They did a “test your strength” and Larissa beat all of us.  Combined, I think.  I came closest, though.

We went to a steakhouse for dinner, and got to see Yuuko have a food paroxysm again.  But it really was delicious, and the aidols really enjoyed their steaks.  Then we came back, and we camped out in the big indoor tent again.  No pillow fights this time – Rebecca’s mother still isn’t a big fan of pillow fights.  We got yelled at a bit.  We drove back today, and stopped at Buc-ees again so Yuuko can load up on snacks some more, and now we’re home.  It was a lot of fun and everyone likes Rebecca and her friends.  They got added to the sister rotation and we’ll add them to our video calls when they’re available.

Larissa wanted to show us her horses but we didn’t really have time.  It’s alright, maybe next time.

Sabby’s setting up for our new years party – it’ll be a little less busy than the Christmas party was.  Then on Tuesday we’re taking the aidols to Houston to spend a couple of days with Emiko and her family – Emiko wants a little time with Ai and her friends are just… the more, the merrier.  Emiko will take them to the airport.

Yuki saw her parents off while we were gone.  They had a pretty good time, Yuki showed them some places around Austin, and I guess they had a lot of fun.  They want her to come back to Japan but she’s really afraid to.  And I don’t blame her, I’ve seen how some of her fans act, and they’re the good ones.  But I guess she can’t avoid it eventually.  I’ve kind of made up my mind that when she decides to go back, I’m going with her.  When she steps out of that plane, she needs someone to lean on.  Maybe we’ll hire Larissa to be a bodyguard.  Haha!  Only part kidding though.

I did see her acting a little bit like a baby with her parents though, it was hilarious.  She’s not really embarrassed, though.  She says “If you can’t act a little bit like a baby with your parents, who can you?”  I couldn’t really argue that.

Anyway, I’m tired, and we’ve got some stuff planned for tomorrow, so

Love you all!!! ❤️

This diary entry is part 23 of 26 in Lily's diary dated 30 - December 2023

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

We made it up to Dallas, and we’re at Rebecca’s house now.  It is HUGE.  The one in California wasn’t this big.  Rebecca tells me that Dallas is a lot cheaper than LA (especially in that area), so they were able to get more house.  Wow.  There’s a pool, and a hot tub, and a small movie theater, and even bowling and a tennis court!!!

Everyone’s amazed.  I gotta admit, even me.  I don’t really care about those things but when something’s amazing, it’s amazing.

Anyway, we stopped at the Buc-ees in Temple, and loaded up on snacks.  Everyone got something, but Yuuko pretty much bought the store out.  Haha!!!  They all got a souvenir with a beaver on it.  Anyway, after our pit stop, we finished driving up.  I’d never driven in Dallas by myself before, but with Beth telling me where to turn and get off and slow down and stuff, we made it safely.  Once we entered the metro area, the aidols were so busy looking out the window at all the sights that they forgot to be annoying, so it all worked out.

Rebecca was really happy to see me.  She invited some of her new friends, too.  She’s still friends with her other friends in LA but they don’t see each other as much, so she had to make some new ones too, because of course she did.  There were two girls – One about my age named Larissa, and one a little younger named Becky.  They’re both really nice, kinda down to earth.  Larissa is smaller, and Larissa’s really thick with lots of muscles.  I guess she’s into horses and does a lot of riding and stuff.  You know, a sports-girl.

They’re both down to earth, though.  I guess they’re good for Rebecca because she seems a little more down to earth too.  Like her little bubble in LA has been punctured.  I mean, she’s still got a huge house and lots of money and stuff, but Dallas isn’t full of rich people like Calabasas is, and her school is more… ummm.. diverse is a good word, I suppose.  Doesn’t hurt that Larissa doesn’t take crap and has a bit of a foul mouth, but they seem to be pretty good people.

They don’t speak Japanese though, so I ended up translating for the most part.

They got pizza though, which was a hit with everyone, and after we ate pizza and drank soda, Rebecca took us into the movie room to watch a movie.,  Of course, we chose an anime movie.  Rebecca wasn’t sure, but they were pretty engrossed by the end – it was one of those sad movies and we all cried.  Even Larissa.

So now we’re all camped out in the indoor tent with lots of blankets and pillows, telling stories and chatting.  The language barrier is a little bit of a problem, but we’re working our way through it.  Larissa and Becky are really interested in Japan and they’re asking all sorts of questions, which the aidols are answering with a lot of my help.  And the aidols are curious about high school life here too – I can’t really answer their questions about it because I’ve never gone to high school – I was found when the virus was in full swing and then Sabby took me out to homeschool me.  They were curious about the college classes I’m taking now, though.  We’ll probably go to bed soon.  I’m not sure what they’re planning for tomorrow but I’m sure it’ll be fun.

Maybe Larissa will let us meet her horses, but I’m not sure how that will work.  Ai did enjoy it when we took her riding last year.

Oops, gotta go…  turns out ten girls make for one massive pillow fight.   OW.

Love you all!!! ❤️

This diary entry is part 22 of 26 in Lily's diary dated 30 - December 2023

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Rebecca asked us if we (meaning me and the Aidols) wanted to come to Dallas for a day to visit.  I thought that was a pretty good idea, and no one else had any objections, so we’re going tomorrow! We’ll stay for one day and come back on Friday.  I think it’ll be fun.  Liz wants to go too, but the other girls have their own things to do, so I guess it’s me, the Aidols, Beth, and Liz.  That’s seven girls.  I think we can fit into the big car…  Sabby said I could take it but to be careful and she told the aidols too to be good and let me drive.  The bowed and said of course.  They’re Japanese!  They can be silly and goofy, but they know when to behave!

We’re all packing up and deciding what to take.  Apparently her house has a big pool and hot tub, so all the swimsuits are coming out.  It’s nice having a rich half sister, haha.

I told the Aidols what pool etiquette is here – it’s a little different from Japan.  I think they understand.  They’d better understand, haha!

Well, I should get some sleep so I’m rested enough to drive.  Liz can drive too if needed but Sabby prefers I do.  None of the Aidols are licensed yet, but that’s alright, I think they prefer to see the sights anyway.  We’ll stop at the Temple buc-ees and let them see one of the biggest gas stations in the country.  Haha!!

And, of course, make sure Yuuko has snacks.  Yuuko needs snacks.

In case you’re wondering, I’m going to spend New Years with Jack.  I don’t mean by ourselves, necessarily, but we’re having a party and he’s invited.  I’m getting my kiss!!! We haven’t spent a lot of time together lately…  but we still chat a lot and it’s okay.  I think we’ll make a little more time after the new year.  There’s been so much going on…  for both of us.  He has to study for his exams and stuff too.

Love you all!!! ❤️

This diary entry is part 21 of 26 in Lily's diary dated 30 - December 2023

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

It was a nice Christmas.

This morning we got up… well, a little early I guess… and sat under the tree opening presents.  Even the Aidols.  Yuki wasn’t around, she spent Christmas Eve with her parents.  Which, of course, is fine.  That’s important.  She did come over with her parents for the Christmas day feast, but more about that later.

The aidols just basically traded trinkets with us, but that’s fine, it’s the thought that counts.  We got Yuuko some snacks, which were gone in pretty short order, Mariko got some new guitar picks, which she appreciated, and we got Minami a printed still of her singing, which she burst out into tears when she saw (don’t ask how we managed to get that done so quickly, but Sabby has her ways).  But they were happy tears.  They gave us all some small stuff too, which was fine.  We didn’t expect anything at all, and like I said, it’s the thought that counts.  We gave Ai a printed still of me sitting in the train with all the girls clustered around me in their cosplay outfits and me looking completely annoyed, and she bust a gut laughing and said it was the best present ever.  We didn’t go overboard this time, but, well, you know.

And then I showed Minami the letter I got from the Japanese talent agency, and she glomphugged me and burst out crying again.  But again, happy tears.  I’m okay with happy tears.  She chattered for a full hour about it before she finally calmed down, and even called her grandparents, who apparently do treat her well enough.  She said she’d tell her father when she sees him.

The feast was, of course, a feast.  Sabby really went overboard, as she always does, and everyone was invited.  It was a full house. There was, of course, all of us, Ai and the aidols, Yuki and her parents, Diana and Crystal and their parents, Jack and his family, Liz and her family, Emiko and her family…  and even some of the people from work, like Katie.  It really was a full house but we made it work.  There was turky and stuffing, and all the traditional things, and enough for everyone too.  It was really close to fifty people, and I really have no idea how we even managed to pull seating off, much less enough food.  But we did.  Helped that people brought food as well, it wasn’t just us.  Some folks were sitting on the arm of the chair, some just lounging against the wall, and David and a couple of the Aidols camped out with his console and were playing games and eating at the same time.  Usually we’d be upset but that was three chairs we didn’t have to set.

I don’t think I need to say that Yuuko downed a lot more than you’d think could fit into that little body, haha.

Anyway, Yuki’s parents seem nice.  They speak very little English but there were enough Japanese speakers there that they were entertained, and Yuki and I could translate as needed.  They seem really proud of her, and seem to regret that Yuki’s experience as an idol was as negative as it was.  But they did see her performance, and they were really pleased with Minami’s performance too.  I said that Minami was really happy to get an audition with a talent agency, and I guess they saw her eyes, because they said she should come and visit sometime.  I guess the house is a little empty without Yuki there.  Awww.

I hope she does.  She could use some good parental figures.

Everyone went home with full stomachs.  It was a good day, with family and friends, and what more could you ask for?

Love you all!!! ❤️