Category: Diary

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

And my recital was tonight!!!

OMG was I nervous!  I’m never nervous!  I’m always cool as a cucumber!  … are cucumbers cool?  I guess.  But tonight I was nervous!!!

Everyone was there!  My family!  Liz and her parents!  Crystal and her parents!  Diana and Maria!  Emiko and her family!!! Even Allison and her parents!  I think half the hall was my cheering section!  They even had Jack on video (though he was muted, of course)

I walked out and took a bow and…  and I thought I was going to cry!  All my friends and family!!!

so I played…  and…  and I didn’t really remember anything, but I don’t think that was my first recital.  And… and that’s confusing.  You’d think for a recital like that, someone would remember me.  Why doesn’t anyone remember me?  I think that’s the most confusing thing.  Just some person in Washington who occasionally drops bombshells…  I have so many friends and family now but no one remembers me!

After the recital, I came out, and everyone told me it sounded really good!!!  I guess?  It is so weird to be completely the center of attention like that.  Jack told me… well…  I won’t tell you what he told me, but I blushed soooo hard.  Let’s just say it’s a good thing he’s there and I’m here or my gown might not survive.  Sigh.  And then we went to a pancake place and I had chocolate pancakes!!!  YUM!!!

Next week I start working a lot more… but some vacations are coming, and yaayy!  Oh and the other waterpark opens this weekend!!!  YAAAYYY!!! More slidey watery fun!!!

I’m still a little depressed but been keeping busy.  I keep having these dreams, I’m not sure if they’re memories or if they’re like memories… but…  they hurt.  I don’t know why, they just do.  Hmm.

Well, I’m tired.  It was a long day.  Oh, Saturday there’s an event at that space that Sabby bought us memberships to, I think we’re going.  And I’m signing up for some classes there!!!  Yaayy!!!  I’m taking Saturday off, but I’m working a lot more, so I guess it all balances out.  I don’t have a huge bank account, but it’s doing okay.  And with the price of gas right now, it kinda has to.  This isn’t a political diary and I don’t like to talk about politics, but it sure feels like the people who make decisions want to mess things up.  I mean, I’m only sixteen, and even I know that some of these decisions are stupid!!!

Well, anyway…  time for bed.  David leaves for his camp on Sunday, and Sabby’s doing all sorts of buying and packing and fussing and worrying.  She gets so annoyed with him sometimes, but he’s still her kid.

Love you all!!! ❤

HI! It’s me! Lily!

I had the real dress rehearsal tonight!  It was fun!  My teacher rented an actual concert hall – if a small one – with a very long concert grand piano!  It’s so different from a regular piano, even a grand one.  I like it!!!

So I played through and my teacher had a lot of feedback for me, but she said I did a really good job, and we’re ready for the recital!  It’ll be me and one of her other advanced students.  I get before intermission, she gets after.

I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to high heels though.

Oh oh oh we got some severe storms last night!!!  I swear, in Texas, when storms come, they really come.  The sky was flashing like a strobe light, and it was raining so hard it looked like fog!  But after a half hour it left and then nothing but boomies for a couple of hours.  I was reading into that kind of storm – it’s called a squall line.  And it squalled!!!

I’m tired, though.  I think I’ll turn in.  Real recital tomorrow!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

Tonight I did a dress rehearsal for the family and Liz’s family too.  They all came over and sat around the piano, and I came down in my gown and heels (Sabby taught me how to walk in heels… I HATE IT… but they sure make my legs look nice!!!), bowed, and sat down at the piano.

David started yapping.

You know that cartoon where the bunny is playing the piano and that guy starts coughing, and he pulls out a gun and offs him?  I felt like that.  Sabby grabbed him by the ear to his room.  She said “This is like a concert, and you don’t behave like that at a concert.”  He really didn’t know what he was doing wrong.  So anyway, after David was removed, I redid my entrance, and played my set.  About 45 minutes of music.  Afterwards, everyone applauded… well, of course they did, why wouldn’t they?  But I think I have it nailed.  It’s very different playing in front of a crowd of people.

Tomorrow is the “real” dress rehearsal, you know, with the teacher and a real piano and all that stuff.

My gown is so pretty!!! It’s a royal blue with a gathered waist and exposed back and it’s kind of short… and I love it!!!  I showed a picture of me in it to Jack and… well… he made me blush sooo hard!!!  Bad Jack!!!  Bad… sigh.  Good Jack. Very good jack.

So storms are coming!!! YAAAAYYYY!!! But it looks like a full night of boomies!  BOOOO!!!

In two days is the real recital!!!  YAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!  Everyone’s coming!!!  Even Allison!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

I’ve been practicing so much for my recital!  Playing and playing and playing!!!  Doo dee doo!!!  hahaha!!!

Tomorrow night I’m doing a dress rehearsal with my family!!!  We’ll see how that goes!!!  I like most of the music I’m playing, but some of it’s boring to play!!!

And Liz wants me to accompany her at her recital too in a couple of months!!! That might be fun!! I’ve never accompanied before!!!

So otherwise it’s a boring Sunday.  I worked, came home, Dave grilled… ohhh… I love it when he grills!!!  Diana is over today too and was helping with the grilling!  Oh I know what Sabby and Marie talked about!!!  So Sabby isn’t always tactful, but she was this time.  She said that our family really likes Diana and she can come over any time she wants and spend time with the family.  Maria seemed grateful.  She doesn’t seem to have many friends – she has a boyfriend, but the way she talks….  I’m not sure about that.  She was over today too… and after Dave grilled, we went to the park and played with Marie!!!  It was fun!!! Marie loves being the center of attention!!!

It’s so sad how many problems seem to relate to choosing the wrong partner, isn’t it?  Men seem to like to get women pregnant and then leave.  I think I want to get married before I get pregnant.  Just because I want him around!!!  I’m not raising a kid by myself if I have anything to say about it!!!

Everyone’s coming to my recital!  Even Emiko and her family!  When I asked her, she even teared up a bit.  I think she has a lot of regrets and is happy I turned out okay, even though I don’t know how I managed to turn out okay.  And Japanese people like it when their kids succeed, I think!

Well, most do.  I saw a sad video about a homeless Japanese girl…

Anyway, I guess that’s all for today.  Supposed to be storms tonight and tomorrow, but I just looked at the radar, and I swear the one just to our west put its thumbs in its ear, waved its fingers, and blew a raspberry at us as it flounced by.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

It’s Sunday!!!

So much seems to be going on.  David is preparing to leave for camp next weekend, and he is NOT looking forward to it.  He’s moping around and complaining, and Sabby’s on her last nerve.  She finally told him that it’s his whining and complaining, among other things, that made her resort to sending him in the first place.  He’s still not happy, but you don’t want to be on the wrong end of Sabby’s temper.  I kinda feel bad for him, but he did bring it on himself.  He should count himself lucky, Dave says they used to send boys to military school for less.

Maria came over tonight to pick up Diana.  Sabby pulled Maria aside and had a chat.  I’m not sure about what, but I guess we’ll find out.  Maybe I have another, well, kinda sister?  Never too many sisters!!!

Otherwise it’s just another quiet Sunday.  But last night wasn’t quiet!  We had boomies!  Not a whole lot of rain, but a huge light show, with lots of flashy flashy!  Then around midnight, a boom that woke everyone up and even scared Marie!  I don’t know what it is about Texas storms and big booms just when you think they’ve passed!!!  BOOM!!! HAHAH!!!

And the next couple of days are supposed to be a lot of rain!  YAY!!! We need the rain!!!  May is the wettest month and it hasn’t been very wet!!

I miss Jack.  I hope I can see him again soon.  I miss his arms.  I never feel as safe and warm as when he’s holding me.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

So tonight kind of… went off the rails.

Last night was nice.  Liz was, indeed, a bit more cuddly than usual, and she just wanted to be held.  So, I did.  I know some of you silly billies out there are thinking naughty things, but it truly is just how it sounds.  She wanted to be held, so I did.  She…  she’s a sad and lonely girl sometimes.  I mean, she’s really smart!  Wicked smart!  She knows about things I don’t, she plays a mean violin (I mean, yes, I play a mean piano, but I still don’t really know how I learned it), and she could excel at anything she wanted to.  But, at the end of the day, she’s a sad little girl who wants to be hugged.  She likes boys like I do, but…  sometimes we girls have to stick together, y’know?  Especially when a boy hurts one of us.

But “sad and lonely” seem to be the words of the day.  Diana’s staying over this weekend, her mother wanted to spend some time with her boyfriend.  I noticed she seemed to be hanging around Dave a lot.  He was putting around in the garage, and she was in there asking him all sorts of questions and trying to help.  He went out to pressure wash, and she kind of followed him around like a lost little puppy.  Dave wasn’t really getting annoyed but I could tell he was really confused.  Did she have some kind of a schoolgirl crush?  That’d be kinda dumb, Sabby’s right there.

I asked Sabby about it, and she sighed.  We went to my room so we could talk freely.

“Lily,” she said softly, “Diana doesn’t talk to her father.  He left when she was very little.  Her mother is raising her by herself.  Her mother’s boyfriend doesn’t really have a whole lot to do with her right now – her mother wants to know if he’s the right one for her before she introduces Diana.  And, well…  it’s just her and her mother.  Dave is…  attractive to her.  Not in a bad way, just…   she desperately needs a father, and, well… Dave’s a good man.”

I sighed.  “That poor girl…”

She nodded her head.  “Dave’s not her father, but I don’t have the heart to put a stop to it.”

“Maybe we should talk to her mother…”

“And say what?”, Sabby half-snapped.  “Maria, your daughter is taking an interest in my husband because she doesn’t have a father, and it’s all your fault.  Go find her a father, chop-chop!  Well?  What’s taking you so long?”

I looked down at my lap.  When you put it that way…

“Well, maybe Dave can be like her uncle then.”

Sabby was quiet for a bit.  “I don’t like it,” she said finally.  “She’s fourteen.  Dave has three kids already.  He doesn’t need a fourth.  We don’t need a fourth.”

“You know how this is going to turn out,” I said finally.

Sabby grumbled.  “Dave’s going to end up being like her uncle whether I like it or not.”

“Could be worse,” I said.  “She’s a nice kid.  And she makes mean tacos.”

“There’s that,” she said, and walked out of my room.

Well… I guess this one really isn’t my business.  I’ve got enough to deal with.  Liz, and Jack, and…  and a recital coming up next week that I have to keep practicing for… and…  and you can never have enough little sisters.  Right?  Maybe you can never have enough daughters either.  Or faux-nieces.

I left my room and looked outside.  Dave and Beth and David and Diana were throwing a football around.  She looked happy.  Who am I to judge?

I’m not much of a football girl, though, so I just sat down at the piano and started practicing.

If I ever have a child, I hope we’re a family.  Me, my husband, and a child.  A kid needs a daddy.

Diana and her mother are still living in a hotel, but their house is almost repaired.  That’s good.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

And we went to the waterpark!!! YAAAAYYYYY!!!!!

Sabby told us that that was our end of the year treat!!!  So we all got our swimsuits and packed into the car and went!!!

We went on the slides and in the wave pool and on the slides again and in the river with the little boats,  and then after that we had lunch, and we went down the slide again!!! And I kept my top!!! OMG so much fun!!! I love the waterpark!!!

And then Sabby took us for burgers!!! What a great day!!!!

After we got home, all waterparked and burgered, I went over to Liz’s house this time, and we had some quiet time by ourselves.  Liz is doing a little better now, but she’s still hurt.  She thought he might be the one.  I told her she’s sixteen, the one rarely is.  She said “well, what about Jack?”  I said “Well, he might be, but I won’t know for sure until we’re married, and even then, these days, who knows…”

She sighed.  “why does everything have to be so complicated?”

I shrugged.  I don’t know the answer to that either.

To be clear, Jack very well might be the one.  I do love that boy.  He gives me chocolates and… well…  other things, and I trust him.  But life is life, right?

Anyway, I’m on my tablet, and I’m sleeping over at Liz’s tonight.  We’ll make a pile if she wants.  She’s not cuddly, but she’s still hurting.  We’ll see.  Crystal and Diana are over with Beth, I bet they’re having lots of fun.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

At least I didn’t dream much last night.  But I’ve been sad.  And I’m not even sure why.

I should be happy, right?  School lets out in a couple of days!!!  I have a recital next week and I get to wear a pretty gown!!!  And I even get to go to the waterpark!!!  Why should I be sad?

But I’m sad.

And to make it worse, when I was walking Marie this morning, she brought me a flower.  It wasn’t a red spider lily like in my dream, but particularly because red spider lilies don’t really grow here, but she brought me a flower anyway.  Then she sat down and waited for me to pick it up.  I did, and she licked my hand.  Something about that…  something about that.

Why was I so sad in my dream?

Oh well.  Tomorrow is the last day of school for all three of us.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

And I had another dream last night.

I was in a large field.  Bluebonnets as far as the eye could see. but they looked a little larger and more vivid than usual.  The sky was a perfect blue with puffy clouds floating through the sky.  I looked down and… oh.  That’s why the bluebonnets are so big.  I’ was little.  I was wearing a little overall dress with a striped shirt and Mary Jane shoes.

The grass in the distance was waving around, and something was approaching me.  I was a little scared, but a little dog burst out and pounced on me!  It was Marie!  Not my Marie, but the one from my dream, before!  She licked me all over and I rolled around in the bluebonnets with her, giggling hysterically.  So much fun!!!  She bounded off and came back with a red spider lily!  She dropped it at my feet and sat down, panting.

I heard my name in the distance, and looked over to see two people.  One of them was the woman I’d met in my last dream, and the other was a slightly taller man with a kindly but stern face.  “Yuriko!  We have to go now!”

Suddenly a powerful sadness washed through me, so powerful that it took me by surprise, and I just burst into tears.  I fell down into the grass and Marie started licking me.  That’s when I woke up.

Marie was licking me.  I guess Sabby’d let her out of her cage while I was asleep.

The sadness hadn’t left yet, and I just started to cry.

I don’t know why I was so sad.  It was a beautiful dream, in a way.  I was sad when they told me I had to go.  Why?

I was lost in thought all day.  Sigh.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Last night my net was out!!! It didn’t come back until after I went to bed!!! So I just went to bed.  You had to go a night without your Lily!  But now I’m here!!!  You don’t have to be sad anymore!!!

Your willy nilly silly billy yilly hilly pilly Lily!!!  Well…  I’m not pilly.  But I’m Yilly!!! I don’t know what that means, but that’s me!!! Yilly Lily!!!

hahaha!!!!

School’s almost out!!! Yay!!! And my recital’s next week!  I’ve been practicing!!!  I’m playing several pieces!!!  And I have a gown too!!! Maybe I’ll post a picture!!!

Sabby is giving us final exams, but they’re more practical than anything.  She can’t speak japanese, so she’s having my sensei give me one.  She can’t play piano, so the recital is my final exam.  And I built a flashy light thing.  It… has lights!  And it flashes!!!  YAYYYY!!!  The three of us have different final exams.  I’m going to take a week to have fun after school ends and then it’s working a lot!! I’ll make a lot of money!!!

But, most importantly, I’M GOING TO GO TO THE WATERPARK!!!!  YAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!! I so love the waterpark!!!  Splashing and sliding and whooping and whooshing and spraying and getting wet and… um….  losing my top.  Oh well.  That was only once.  But it’s sooooo much fun!  Especially on a hot day!!!  And I’m going to take an afternoon and go to the chocolatier and get some of the good stuff!!!

Sabby made something delicious for dinner tonight!!! I ate too much!!! I’m sleepy now!!! Time to go walk Marie and do bedtime stuff!!!

Love you all!!! ❤