Hi! It’s me! Lily!

A… lot of people read this, I guess.  I don’t know how many strangers, but a lot of people I know.  Last night I wrote what I wrote and went to bed.  Honest truth is, I wasn’t very sad.  Just… a bit introspective, I guess.  How’s that for a big word?  See, not a dumb girl!!

But I guess it didn’t come across that way.  Maybe it was the last couple of sentences.

Anyway, Jack came over tonight after work, and he wanted to talk.  Not about anything bad – “we need to talk” is often code for “you’re doing something wrong”, but in this case, it really was just that.  He read my diary and…  he was worried about me.

I told him I wasn’t really sad.

He only partly believed me.

And… and maybe he was right to.  To only partly believe me, I mean.

He told me that even if I was sad about some things that happened to me, that he wasn’t.  Because if it weren’t for any of that, he would never have met me, and he would never have fallen in love with such a wonderful girl as me…  and I melted.

He always knows just the right thing to say.

And it’s even better that he means it.

And I guess he’s right – I wouldn’t have met him, either.  Right?  Maybe I would have met someone just as good, but… but he wouldn’t be Jack.

And that’s all great…  but…  but it still hurts a little.

But Jack said something smart.  He said everyone has that little hole in their heart.  Some peoples’ are small, some are huge and gaping, but everyone has one.  Everyone thinks about what was and what could be, everyone has someone who ripped something out of them, and everything has a flower that grew out of that…  fertilizer.  And he said, for me, it’s a licoris radiata.  A spider lily.

I still don’t know what that means.

But I love him for it.

I really, truly, love him for it.

Friends…  and more than friends… really matter.

Love you all!!! ❤

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