This diary entry is part 10 of 28 in Lily's diary dated 19 - January 2023

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

And today… is just a day.  Nothing big going on. Boringly boring.  I talked to Sabby about what to do about our Japanese fanbase, and…  she doesn’t know either.  It’s not like it’s a huge fanbase, just a few people that Ai told and their friends or parents or something, but…  they really like their cookies, I guess.  And then there’s my “benefactor” too…  I think we’re agreed that we don’t want to grow too quickly, but we do need to grow.  Maybe I can talk Sabby into going on a business trip to Japan with me.

Wouldn’t that be something???

Maybe I should ask Robert.  He’s a marketing guy, so maybe he knows some things about business.

You know, I’ve been writing this diary for.. actually nearly a year and a half now.  And I’ve been thinking a lot about how much I’ve changed, how much my life has changed… since I was found, since I started the diary.  I remember when I was found, and Dave and Sabby took me in.  I had nothing.  I didn’t even have my memories.  I didn’t know who I was, how I got there, it was like a big blank.  And I told you about how I spent over a week just crying.  I was so sad, and so scared.  What would become of me?  Who was “me”, anyway?

But then I had social workers who actually cared, and Dave and Sabby took me in and adopted me, and I found out more about who I was and where I came from – and even got glimpses of my memory – and something about a red spider lily too.  And I learned how to drive, and they gave me a car, and I found out about Emiko, and went to Japan, and Jack and… so many things.  But…  but sometimes I wonder what’s actually mine, you know?  I have…  so many things, and so little at the same time.

I…  I owe them so much.  I owe everyone so much.  But my benefactor keeps saying I’m owed a debt too.  Who owes it to me?  And why it is such a huge debt that they can give me something like half a million bucks and still say I’m owed such a huge debt?  I don’t understand.  I’m grateful, but…  don’t understand.  What price did I have to pay, and don’t even know it?

And what would’ve happened if…. if I wasn’t found?  Would I be one of those nameless bodies they find by the side of the road and can’t even identify?

I’m a lucky girl… I’m an incredibly lucky girl.  And… and sometimes that makes me very sad.

Love you all!!! ❤

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