Hi! It’s me! Lily!
And today… is just a day. Nothing big going on. Boringly boring. I talked to Sabby about what to do about our Japanese fanbase, and… she doesn’t know either. It’s not like it’s a huge fanbase, just a few people that Ai told and their friends or parents or something, but… they really like their cookies, I guess. And then there’s my “benefactor” too… I think we’re agreed that we don’t want to grow too quickly, but we do need to grow. Maybe I can talk Sabby into going on a business trip to Japan with me.
Wouldn’t that be something???
Maybe I should ask Robert. He’s a marketing guy, so maybe he knows some things about business.
You know, I’ve been writing this diary for.. actually nearly a year and a half now. And I’ve been thinking a lot about how much I’ve changed, how much my life has changed… since I was found, since I started the diary. I remember when I was found, and Dave and Sabby took me in. I had nothing. I didn’t even have my memories. I didn’t know who I was, how I got there, it was like a big blank. And I told you about how I spent over a week just crying. I was so sad, and so scared. What would become of me? Who was “me”, anyway?
But then I had social workers who actually cared, and Dave and Sabby took me in and adopted me, and I found out more about who I was and where I came from – and even got glimpses of my memory – and something about a red spider lily too. And I learned how to drive, and they gave me a car, and I found out about Emiko, and went to Japan, and Jack and… so many things. But… but sometimes I wonder what’s actually mine, you know? I have… so many things, and so little at the same time.
I… I owe them so much. I owe everyone so much. But my benefactor keeps saying I’m owed a debt too. Who owes it to me? And why it is such a huge debt that they can give me something like half a million bucks and still say I’m owed such a huge debt? I don’t understand. I’m grateful, but… don’t understand. What price did I have to pay, and don’t even know it?
And what would’ve happened if…. if I wasn’t found? Would I be one of those nameless bodies they find by the side of the road and can’t even identify?
I’m a lucky girl… I’m an incredibly lucky girl. And… and sometimes that makes me very sad.