Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!
I wonder about having sisters sometimes! I mean I love them, but sometimes! GRRRR!!! Sabby told us we had to go to bed at a reasonable hour last night, and she was right, but when Beth and Crystal get together it’s like the mischief is more than either one of them by themselves!
So earlier they were whispering amongst themselves and then Crystal came over and asked me a question. As I was answering, Beth ran over, pinched my floppy bits (not hard, but still!), yelled HONK HONK, and ran off giggling!
OH NO YOU DON’T!!!
See, Beth has a lot of good things to say about her, but she forgets things. She forgets that I run every day and work out, she forgets that I know martial arts, and she forgets that my floppy bits are sacred! So I caught up with her, slung her over my shoulder, took her over to Sabby, and while she was squealing and pounding on my back, I asked Sabby what I should do with her.
“What did she do?”
“Honked my floppy bits.”
Sabby frowned. “Beth?,” she said, her arms crossed. “Did you do that?”
“YES! LET ME DOWN!”
Sabby sighed. “Don’t hurt her permanently.”
“MOM!”
“Beth,” she said, “you know better than that. Either I let Lily dispense her own brand of justice, or I take over and do it my way. Your choice.”
Beth went limp. “Alright.”
I was thinking about what to do with Beth. That can’t go unanswered. “Sabby? I think Crystal put her up to it.”
“Oh, did she now? Well, looks like we both have our work cut out for us.” She stalked off to find Crystal. Soon I heard some muffled yelling.
I deposited Beth on the couch. I sighed. “You know I can’t let this go, right? Remember what happened to the last person that tried that?”
She fidgeted with her hands. “I don’t… I thought it’d be funny.”
“It wasn’t,” I frowned. “I really want to hold you down and tickle you until you say ‘uncle’, but I’m not going to. Tonight you’re going to wash my car, and it’d better be spotless.”
“Lily -”
“Beth, you’re my sister and I love you, but you’re getting off easy. You could be the one Sabby’s telling off right now.” There was the muffled banging of a door and Sabby came stomping back in.
She lowered her head.
“And don’t ever do that again or I will tickle you until you say ‘uncle’. Understand?”
She nodded. I patted her knee. “Wash my car – inside and out – and we’ll call it even.”
“Is that the punishment you decided on?”, Sabby asked.
“Yes, this time. If she does that again, I’m going to go the more direct route and tickle her until she says ‘uncle'”.
Sabby nodded. “I’ll hold her down. Beth, do not ever touch people like that without their permission. I thought you knew better than that.”
“I just thought it’d be funny!”
“Well, it wasn’t.”
Crystal came out. “I’m sorry, Lily,” she said, her head down.
I frowned. “You of all people should know how inappropriate that is.”
She sniffled, ran over to me, and gave me a hug. “I’m so sorry,” she blubbered. “I didn’t mean it. I thought it’d be funny.”
I sighed. “If you want to make it up to me, help Beth wash my car tonight.”
She nodded.
So tonight they washed my car. And actually they did a pretty good job. I forgive them. Actually I think they got more suds on each other than the car, but they got it done in the end. Oh my God, the squealing!! I went outside to see how they were doing and Crystal was chasing Beth around the car with the hose!
In other news, Sabby took me over to the DMV to get my learner’s permit today. It was so busy! We sat there for an hour until my number came up, then I handed them some documentation, and they gave me a piece of paper! Now I can drive as long as Sabby and Dave are with me! But it won’t be happening until after I’ve gone to driving school. Still, yay! I thought I’d have to get it after, but it turns out I need it to be able to go to school!
It’s quiet otherwise. Dave’s birthday’s coming up. Sabby’s going to take me to the mall this weekend to buy him a present. I can’t think of what to get him! I already got him a grilling set for Christmas! I don’t know what to buy a man! Maybe Sabby will have some ideas. Maybe Jack will have some ideas. After all, he is a boy.
Oh well. Time for bed.