This diary entry is part 12 of 24 in Lily's diary dated 24 - June 2023

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

And I’m full of thinky thoughts today.  I’ve told you I’m not a thinky girl, not like Beth… but I do have my moments.  I’m not dumb!  Really!  I just… don’t think as much.

I wonder why I can play the piano.

I mean, I didn’t know I could play the piano.  Then I went to Orlando, and there was a piano, and I played, and… well… I could play piano!  I also found out I could do something like karate (though I haven’t pursued that a lot), and… I can ride horses, and who knows what else I can do.  When I was found, I could talk, I had all the skills that I’d had before, everything was there – except for my identity.  I had no memories of who I was.

Do I still have the same personality that I did?  I mean, maybe I was a mean, stuck up girl, but now I’m not!  Maybe I wasn’t, but I don’t know!  Maybe I’m better now than I was!

I don’t think about that much because it hurts a little.  There are so many people talking about identity right now.  Identity this and identity that and pride this and whatever.  I don’t care too much about all that!  And one reason is that they think they understand identity, and they don’t!  I understand identity.  It’s everything I don’t really hav.e.  I mean, I have an identity.  Is it my identity?  Or is it an identity I made after I lost everything else?

I am Yuriko.  But Yuriko is someone else too.  I don’t know Yuriko.  I never met her.  But she was me, one day, a long time ago.

Am I sad?  Yes.  No.  Not really.  A little.  I like my life, I love my family, I…  just keep thinking about how much that all cost.  Who else has to pay this kind of price for their life?

Well…  I guess some guy named Jesus?

I dunno.

I went to Liz’s lesson with her today, and we’re doing really good.  The teacher had some feedback for me, and a lot for Liz, but we’ll pull it together.  Oh, and Beth chose her song.  It’s a little beyond her reach, but it means a lot to her, so…  we’ll try to make it happen.

You know what I love?  What I really love?

I love that when I had that big concert, everyone who cared about me showed up, and… and everyone cares about me.  That’s the best thing.  I loved playing and the music and all that, but it was the best when I looked out at the sea of faces after I was done, and many of them were there for me.  Me.  That’s the best feeling in the world.

Better than… well… that’s the best feeling in the wfakksjakgjadkjg CAT WHY DO YOU HAVE TO RUN OVER THE KEYBOARD WHEN YOU GET THE ZOOMIES????


Anyway, that’s what my memories bought.

Love you all!!! ❤

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