This diary entry is part 21 of 31 in Lily's diary dated 16 - October 2022

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

It’s Friday.  And I’m so glad this week is over.  It was awful.

Diana came over today.  She went right up to Beth’s room, and the door closed, and I didn’t see them since.  I guess I understand, Crystal is both of their friend.  I went over to Liz’s house, and we’re having a chill night.  Her parents got some snacks (heavy on the chocolate, bless them) and we’re eating snacks and… just being with each other.  There’s not really a whole lot of talking, I think we’re both just kinda talked out.

But it’s nice being with her anyway.

Tomorrow, Jack and I are spending some time together.  I don’t know what we’ll do.  I guess we’ll think of something, we always do.  And maybe Allison will come over with Milo soon for a doggie playdate.  Crystal’s going to be out of communication for a couple of weeks while she does her intense therapy thing.  I do hope it helps her.

I don’t have to walk Marie tonight, someone else is doing that.  After all, I’m over at Liz’s.  But it is bedtime, so I guess we’ll do that.

Love you all!!! ❤

 

This diary entry is part 22 of 31 in Lily's diary dated 16 - October 2022

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

Subscriber content in this post.  You know the drill.

It was a nice Saturday.  First of all, it’s cooler!  Yay!!!  Dave says that during summer, the rest of the country laughs at us because we’re so hot.  Then during winter, we laugh at the rest of the country because they’re so cold.

Except for those few days when we’re cold.  Brrr.

Dave’s been doing something he calls prepping, but I guess some people take it much farther.  He’s just got some supplies to last for a little bit, and things like a hand crank radio, etc., just in case power goes out for extended periods of time.  But it’s not like he has a whole garage full of supplies.  He says some amount of preparedness is good, but too much just means you’re spending all your time thinking about the future rather than the present.  He’s pretty smart.

This evening I went over to Jack’s house, and his parents took Grace and Lily for some family fun time.

We got some food and cuddled up and watched a movie.  It was so nice.  I don’t even remember which movie we watched, I think I fell asleep in the middle of it.  He just rubbed my scalp and let me sleep.  Oh, that’s so nice, when he does that.

Grace’s parents came home a couple of hours later, and we took Grace and Lily outside to play for a little while before I went home.  I love Grace!  Did I tell you that?  She told me about her new school and everything, she’s having a lot of fun!

It was such a nice time with Jack.  I wish we could do it more often, but it’s nice when we get to spend some time together.

I’m sleepy now.

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 23 of 31 in Lily's diary dated 16 - October 2022

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

It was a quiet Sunday.

I decided to go to church with the family, but only because I wanted to ask the pastor a very specific question.  And, honestly, I’m not sure he appreciated it, haha!

After services, he was in front of the lectern shaking hands, and when it came my turn, he looked surprised.  “Lily!  I’m surprised to see you,!”, he said.

I just nodded.  “I wanted to ask you a question.”

“What’s that?”

“I have a little sister.. not Beth.. who, well, tried to kill herself.  What…. what happens to her?”

He frowned.  “Let me greet all these people, and then we’ll talk.”

So, I waited patiently as the “pastor hand shaking line” grew shorter and shorter.  So did the family.

He finally beckoned me over.

“So…  what happens to her.”  He sighed.  “Honestly, I don’t know.”

“Huh?” I said eruditely.  “You don’t know?”

“Truth is, Lily, there’s a lot we don’t know.  We’ve got the Bible, which tells us some things, we think, anyway.  We’ve got prayer.  We’ve got theology..  but at the end of the day, it’s all a mystery.  But what I can tell you is…  that’s the girl who was homeless right and we had stay over at our house for a little while, right?”

I nodded.

He shook his head.  “Girl’s had a hard life.  And…  she got assaulted while she was homeless, right?”

I nodded again.

“Well, I’ll say this.  God is merciful.  He knows what she’s been through.  I… I think she’ll be alright.”

“But you don’t know.”

“I’ll tell you a secret, Lily.  I don’t know too much more than you.  I can recite the Bible and come up with interesting things to talk about every Sunday and I try to help where I can, but…  at the end of the day, none of us will know until we die.  All I can say is I have faith that God will judge us fairly, and hope that he’ll judge us very unfairly.  After all, we all want better than we deserve, right?”

I lowered my head. “I guess,” I said quietly.

He patted my shoulder.  “Don’t be a stranger, Lily.  I know church can be boring, but…  we all love you here.  And tell Crystal to not be a stranger too, alright?  We miss her.”

Suddenly I felt very small.  I just smiled wanly and we left.

I was quiet on the drive home, but I was pleasantly surprised when we stopped for pancakes.

Chocolate pancakes are YUM.

But after we got home I changed out of my nice dress and into some more sensible clothes, and just kind of sat in my room and thought for a while.

Maybe I haven’t been fair, either.

I don’t know how I feel about God, still.  And any God who’d send Crystal to hell for being tormented is no God of mine.  But the pastor has been nothing but nice to me, and my family, and Crystal, and even the homeless.  He seems to be trying, and I crapped all over them just because I was bored.  Maybe…  maybe I was selfish.

I don’t know if I want to go back to church, but maybe I should think about it.

This evening Dave grilled.  It was nice.  It’s always nice when he grills.  Jack’s family came over too, and Grace and Jack and David and Beth and I (and Lily and Marie) played around in the backyard until it was time for them to go.  It was nice.  Our families don’t spend enough time together.

Bedtime.

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 24 of 31 in Lily's diary dated 16 - October 2022

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

And it STORMED!!!!

It went BOOM!  And rained!!! And more BOOM!!! LOUD booms!!!!

Jack told me Grace was kinda scared!  Texas storms aren’t like Ohio storms!!!  But they know how to take care of Grace, it was fine, she’s asleep now.

I haven’t heard from Crystal, but that’s expected.  She’s doing her thing.  I hope she comes out better afterwards.

Other than the storms, today was quiet.  Beth and I went to class.  Oh did I tell you we had midterms???  We did well!!!  Which is surprising considering the stuff that went on last week.  But it turned out alright.

Beth still seems a bit subdued.  And a bit cuddly.  Aww.

Anyway, Gotta go.  Now that the storms are over, Marie needs to go out, and it’s time for bed.

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 25 of 31 in Lily's diary dated 16 - October 2022

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

Well…  there was another tornado last night.  The good news is… not here.  Up around Jarrell, I guess.

Back in the 90s there was apparently a very strong tornado in Jarrell.  The tornadoes seem to like Jarrell for some reason.  Poor Jarrell.

But we just got a lot of wind and rain and boomies.  But this morning the weather was really nice, so there’s that.  I took Marie out for a walk and it was really cool and damp and nice.

Marie’s getting big.  We need to get her spayed soon.  Poor Marie.

Beth kind of isn’t the same right now.  She’s still withdrawn and sullen.  Not angry or salty or anything like that, just… quiet.  I take her to class and the car rides are really quiet, and…  I don’t know.  I think Crystal’s near death affected her a lot more than she’s saying.  Maybe I should talk to Sabby about getting her someone to talk to.  I’m not sure she’s depressed…  just really affected.

I’m not going to be a bad big sister to Beth too.

Jack got a promotion!  They moved him up from cart pusher and bagger to cashier!  Now he’s doot dooting too!!!  It’s a tough job at a big store like that, but I’m sure he’ll do fine!!!

I should go through his lane and buy some embarrassing items!  That’ll be funny!!!

Okay, I’m going to go talk to Sabby about Beth.

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 26 of 31 in Lily's diary dated 16 - October 2022

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

So remember how I was saying that I haven’t pranked Dave in a while?

I got a terrible, awful idea.

But I thought it might be too much.  So I ran it past Sabby.  She said I’d better not do that if I ever want to see Jack again, but she suggested an alternative, which was almost as funny.

So after dinner I sat Dave and Sabby down, and told them I got Jack pregnant.

Hahaha!!!!!

At first Dave looked shocked, then angry, then…  the wheels started turning.  Sabby was just falling over laughing.

“You got me,” he said, “I owe you one”.

Ooops.

Well, I guess it’s been a while.  I just hope he leaves chocolate alone.

Yes, you guessed it, the prank was originally going to be telling him I was pregnant, but Sabby was probably very right, considering the very angry look on his face before he figured it out.  She said it’s playing with fire, and, well… she’s always right.

In other news, Halloween is coming up!  We did the decorations a little while ago – Dave didn’t fall off the ladder, so it was a success.  We’re going to throw a Halloween party for everyone on Sunday, it’ll be fun.  I’m going to wear my cheerleader outfit!  I’m sure Jack won’t mind, it’s Halloween, after all, and at least it’s not a maid costume!  I wonder what he’ll dress as.. if he can come, anyway.

I talked to Sabby about finding someone for Beth to talk to, and she agreed.  She’s going to ask Allison’s mother for a referral.

Bedtime, Marie is whining.

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 27 of 31 in Lily's diary dated 16 - October 2022

 Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Today’s one of those days where there’s not much going on.  You know.  Run.  Walk Marie.  School.  Homework.  Dinner.  Just the usual stuff.

But of course I’m watching Dave like a hawk, and he’s just smirking at me.  I know he’s gonna get me!  I shoulda never pranked him!!!  But.. I always say that.

Jack’s okay with me wearing a cheerleading outfit for Halloween, but he says I have to model it for him privately later.  That made me blush, but I’ll do it!!!  He can come to the party, yay!!!  Dave came home with a bunch of wood panels and stuff and we’re going to make a haunted house in the backyard!  That’ll be fun!!!  But a lot of work, we’ll probably be spending all Saturday on it.  We’ll go to the Home Depot maybe tomorrow and pick up lots of haunted house decorations!!!

Well, short entry tonight!  That makes up for the long ones I write when something big is going on!!!  I’ll go walk Marie and go to bed.  Maybe storms in the morning!  BOOM!  Hahaha!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 28 of 31 in Lily's diary dated 16 - October 2022

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

It’s Friday.

Usually we’d have girls over, but Beth didn’t want to tonight.  I mean, Crystal is still in her program, and Beth didn’t really want to have Diana over, so it’s just a family night.  Liz is over but Beth isn’t really being social, so it’s just me and Liz.

I’m a little worried about Beth, actually.  She’s not herself.  Sabby found her a therapist and she has an appointment for next week.  She didn’t want to go, but she folded really quickly.  Another sign that something’s wrong.  Usually when Beth doesn’t want to do something, there’s yelling and stomping and name-calling.  But she just kind of wilted and went back to her room.

But we had dinner, and watched a movie, and now it’s nearly time for bed, and that’s, I guess, tonight.

Liz and Marie are best friends now.  Whenever Liz comes over Marie bounces over to her and demands to be petted, and Liz just play-wrestles with her until she gets tired of it and brings a toy.  Then it’s a game of “throw the toy” for a bit, and then everyone’s happy.  While we were watching the movie, Marie was on Liz’s lap, sleeping.  That was really cute.

Cat wasn’t anywhere to be found.  As usual.

It’s a busy weekend.  Our party is on Sunday.  everyone’s coming over.  Even Emiko and Aika and Mika.  Ai says she’s interested, so I’ll do a virtual tour for her.  I asked her what she’d dress up as, and she said Konata from Lucky Star.  I didn’t know she was Otaku.  Well, maybe she’s not, but she knows Lucky Star!!!

I’m looking forward to Ai flying here around Christmas!  It’ll be fun!

Dave hasn’t gotten me back yet.  Oops.

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 29 of 31 in Lily's diary dated 16 - October 2022

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

TIRED Lily!!!

So today we built that haunted house.  Dave erected a small temporary building, and we put some black plastic tarps on the walls, we set it up like a maze and put a lot of decorations inside.  It’s actually kinda creepy!!!

Sabby put an invite out on our neighborhood’s social media groups.  I suggested she put an age limit on it, and she agreed.  So tomorrow we’re going to have a party, and tomorrow night we’re going to do a haunted house!!!

It’ll be fun!!!

I think I’ll come out and say “I… I’m pregnant…”  haha!!!  That’ll scare all the guys!!!

Nah, I won’t do that.  That’s mean.

Jack came over and helped, too.  It was nice working on something with him.  He’s pretty handy!  He helped Dave put the little building up.

Liz wants to scare people.  I’m not sure what she’ll do, but I’m sure she’ll think of something.

Okay, I’m tired!  That was hard!  I’m going to get some sleep.

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 30 of 31 in Lily's diary dated 16 - October 2022

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

And I’m TIRED!!!!

OMG what a day!!!

So first off we had a Halloween party, and everyone showed up.  Dave dressed as Elon Musk!  Hahaah!!!!  But it looked like a lot of work carrying a sink around.  Sabby was Oprah Winfrey!  She just ran around yelling “You get a car!  You get a car!”  Hahaha!!!  Beth was… well, I wasn’t sure what she was at first.  She didn’t really seem like she wanted to do it, so she just wore a crown and said she was Queen Elizabeth.

“She’s dead,” I said.

“So?  Seems to be going around lately,” she kind of semi-sneered, and then went off to do whatever.

Sigh.

Oh, I didn’t tell you what I was.  I was a cheerleader!  I ran around telling cheers!!!  It was…  well, kinda lame, if I’m being honest.  And Jack was the captain of the football team!!!  Though…  he’s not exactly bulky.  I guess he pulled it off, though.  He even started talking with one of those California surfer accents1  Hahah!!!

Emiko dressed as a geisha!  She was really good at it too!  And Aika and Mika dressed as Sailor Moon and Sailor Venus!!!  I thought David’s eyes were going to bug out.  But, he dressed as Goku from Dragon Ball Z, and Aika and Mika were…  actually impressed.  I guess they found something in common after all.

So we had lots of Halloween themed snacks (Sabby’s been busy, as usual), some booze for the adults, and some sparkling cider for all the kids.  We played games and everyone had fun.  They gave me a little bit of wine.  I didn’t really like it, but it wasn’t horrible.  Not something I’ll be going out of my way to drink.  But I guess being seventeen, they figured I might as well have a taste.

A bit later, though, we set up the Haunted House.  And we scared the SNOT out of people!!!  Dave dressed as a Zombie, Sabby as a mental patient, and I just sat behind the scenes and controlled all the controlley stuff.  A few of the neighbors came around and got properly scared!  Hahaaha!!!!!  I had sound effects!  Like a gunshot!  A creepy laugh!  A creaking door!  Sabby saying “I won’t have it!”  Well,, maybe not the last one.  But that’s scary too!!!

So after it got dark, we shut everything off and went back inside.  We’re all really tired.  I guess I’m going to walk Marie and do bed stuff.

Love you all!!! ❤