Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

So I think the drama’s over now.  For the most part.  I have had to do a lot of thinking and I guess I’ve been a little more moody than usual, because Sabby bought me a big chocolate shake.  You know how she says chocolate fixes everything?  I guess it doesn’t always.  But I still drank the shake!  And I did feel a little better.

Letting chocolate go to waste is a crime.  Ignore those puddings in the trash over there.  You didn’t see anything.

Beth seems a little shaken too.  I don’t think she realized what a bad influence her “friends” were.  Apparently they’d been doing stuff like that.  I don’t think Beth ever had to take a dare quite like that, but they really didn’t know when to stop.  Apparently her friends have already kissed boys!  I mean, really!  They were younger than Beth!  We did ask Beth during the game (she chose “truth”) whether she kissed a boy.  She turned beet red and said “I’m not sure”.  When all the giggling was over, we asked what she meant.  She answered, “Does the cheek count?”  Liz and I agreed that it really doesn’t.  After all, I kiss her forehead all the time, and that doesn’t count at all.

We begged for details but she wouldn’t spill.  All she’d say was she was dared to and didn’t go any further.  Apparently this wasn’t the first game of “truth or dare” she’d played, and, well, no wonder Sabby was annoyed.  But I’ll let Sabby extract that info if she wants.  Not my business.

Liz told me that we’d be meeting some of her family in Florida.  They’re coming to Disney World too.  Not quite a family reunion, but they haven’t seen each other in a while.  Apparently she has a cousin who is about my age.  Might be fun to make a new friend!  Liz wouldn’t tell me her name, though.  They haven’t talked in a long time, and she just mentioned her in passing.

Speaking of Florida, we leave in five days!  Sabby’s really fussing now.  She’s got plans on plans on plans, she told me she expects to be able to chat with me every night and wants me to tell her everything that happens, and she’s really being a mama bear.  Finally I had to tell her that I’d be fine, and to let me have fun.  She wasn’t too happy with that but seemed to realize she was being a little overbearing, and backed off just a little.   Only a little.  Sabby gonna Sabb.

Beth is still grounded, and no one’s told me what she and Sabby are going to do.  But I’ve had my own problems.  Sabby has been calling around church trying to set up outings with families that have girls about the same age as Beth.  Apparently, Beth is going to have new friends, and they are going to be Sabby-vetted.  I guess I can’t blame her.  Beth doesn’t seem too enthused, but oh well.  I’m sure Sabby knows what she’s doing.

Oh I forgot to mention, Allison lost her big game. I know, right!  So sad.  But you know what?  She got to whack the ball and everyone cheered.  Sometimes you lose something, but you get memories and experience out of it.  Next time she’ll whack the ball harder, and maybe even win!  There’s always a next time.

Oh oh oh I promised big news!  If you go to the front page of this site you’ll see a shiny new Patreon button!  I set up a Patreon!  You can join the site and get exclusive posts and stuffs from yours truly!  And I’ll have even more benefits as I keep working on it, like exclusive forums, all that kind of stuff!  It’ll be loads of fun, hope to see you there!  But if you can’t or don’t want to pay, fear not!  All the basic content here will always be free!  I want to share my life with you, and I don’t care if you pay or not!  I might remind you every now and then, and maybe put a button up, but otherwise, mums the word!  It would be nice to have some money for insurance, etc., but I want you to join because you like me and what I post, not because I guilt you into it!  That’s not fun!  That’s rude!

One reason I set up the Patreon is because I have a problem.  This site is always going to be kid-friendly, but I want to post some stuff that’s a little more…  PG13… sometimes.  Stuff that is fine for young adults and teenagers but not so much for children.   Having a Patreon seemed like the best way to do that – then the parents are responsible for getting access to it and I don’t have the children’s information!  It’s a win for everyone!  Isn’t it great when everyone wins?

But like I said.  That’s additional stuff.  My diary will continue to be free.  That’s me sharing with you!!!

Okay.  That’s done.  Whew.

I must go now.  I have schoolwork to do.  Just because next week is a vacation doesn’t mean I get to slack off!  So math and science and all that stuff, here I come!  YAAAAAAY!!!  Oh and Japanese too!  YATTAAAA!!!!!!!!  Love you all!! ❤️

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!  The one and only!

14 days to go to Disney World!  I’m soooo excited!  So much!  I can’t believe how much I’m looking forward to it!  Roller coasters!  Lots of sugary stuff!  Chocolate that looks like mouse ears!  Liz!  Who knows what else!  It’s so much fun!  Sabby is still fussing over me a little, she’s made a list and checked it twice and is telling me not to be naughty, but nice!  I’m always nice!  I’m a good girl!  Except when I prank Dave!  Muahahaha!

But she worries anyway.  I guess I don’t blame her.  Momma Bear gonna mom.

You might wonder why I don’t call her “mom” and Dave “dad”.  Well, there’s a simple reason for that.  I love that they’ve taken me into their family, and they treat me as much like a daughter as I have any right to expect.  More, even.  And I love them, more than I’ve ever been able to express.  But they’re not my “real” parents.  I have a mom and a dad out there somewhere, though I don’t know who they are.  Are they alive?  Are they dead? Did they abandon me?  Did they want me?  I don’t know.  I wish I knew.

Maybe someday I will meet my real mom and dad and they will have had a good reason for having left me by the side of the road.  Maybe they were in the hospital, or dead, and whatever hurt or killed them is the same thing that caused me to lose my memory.  Maybe they loved me as much as Dave and Sabby, and we’ll meet and hug and I’ll have two more parents.  And if that someday happens, it kind of cheapens it to have two moms and two dads, don’t you think?

Or maybe they just abandoned me, or didn’t want me, and erased all traces of themselves just so they’d want nothing more to do with me.  I hope not, but it’s possible.  And if that happens, then, well, Sabby and Dave become mom and dad, and to hell with my real parents.  I hope it’s not the case.  I hope with everything I am that they do love me.

Sabby was an orphan too.  She understands.  She knows what it’s like to not know your real parents, and that it leaves a hole in your heart that others can’t live in.  She gets it.  That’s why she never pressures me.  She knows she’s Sabby, and Dave is Dave, and that doesn’t mean I love them any less.  I always, always will, even if I find my real parents and they love me too.  Always.

I don’t like to think about it.  I like to be a happy Lily, going to the park and twirling around with my new haircut.  I like to be bubbly and cheerful and happy and fun to be around, and I like to make new memories with the people who care about me now.  But sometimes I do lie awake in bed and wonder.  Who are they?  Who am I?  Why did they hurt me like this?  What did I do to deserve it?  Why don’t I know and why is no one telling me?  But then I look around my room at all the nice things Dave and Sabby have given me, even though they didn’t have to.  And I’ll cry.  Both at the loss, but at what I’ve found too.  Maybe losing my memory and my parents is the best thing to ever happen to me.

And that hurts just as much.

I had to work today, but the rest of the family went to watch Allison play a baseball game.  I’ve never been to a baseball game.  Is it fun?  They went to the park and Allison really whacked that ball!  It went flying and she ran and ran.  She was soooo happy!  After the game Sabby dragged David over to Allison and made him apologize to her.  She was so happy at whacking the ball that she forgave him.  I don’t think there’ll be any cute kid crushes in the near, far, distant future, or ever, but at least she doesn’t give him the stink eye anymore.  That’s something.

Then they all went to a chain restaurant and had dinner.  I was still working, but that was okay.  I still had leftover grilled meat I could put in the microwave and it’s just as good the second time around!

So we start another week.  More school…. oh!  I forgot!  Remember that $20 bill that Sabby keeps trying to give me back?  Well, somehow she got hold of my bank account info, and guess what I found in my account?  Point to Sabby.  Why is it that they’re so much better at these kinds of things?  Dave got me so good with that cayenne pepper, and Sabby is just a force of nature, I can’t keep up!  I’m not sure I want to try anymore.  Not to say I won’t jump (hah) at the chance to get Dave back if it comes up, but maybe I should just admit defeat.  Maybe next time he’ll put chocolate in a little cage, light a blowtorch, and tell me to back off or the chocolate gets it.  I wouldn’t put it past him.

I love chocolate too much.  No, I don’t.  No such thing.  I’d marry it but I don’t want kids that melt in the bathtub.  Hahaha.  Guess it’s a boy for me.  Someday.  But he’d better not get between me and my chocolate!  He can have hobbies, and prank me, and joke with me, and be a silly billy all he wants.  But he touches that chocolate and it’s the doghouse for him!  Hahah!!!

I’m only somewhat kidding.  Poor guy.

I’ve been thinking about boys.  I still feel like I’m not ready for a boyfriend or anything.  But…  there’s this emptiness inside me I can’t explain.  It’s like there’s a piece of me that’s missing and only someone who loves me that way will ever fill it.  Will someone kiss me someday?  What will it be like?  Will it be fun?  I don’t know.  Maybe someday I’ll find out.  I hope at least the first time it’s all sweet and romantic.

I should go!  Beth needs her hair brushed!  Love you all!!! ❤️