This diary entry is part 11 of 29 in Lily's diary dated 10 - April 2022

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!!!

I had a dream last night.

I dreamt that I was in a house I didn’t recognize, and a woman I didn’t know was sitting next to me.  She was pretty, a little stern looking, dressed very professionally.  The house was spotless and very nice, but had an air of sterility to it.  Like nothing was to be touched.  A morning sun was filtering through the windows, but other than blue sky, I couldn’t see what was outside.

“Yuriko,” she said, sadly.  I could see a tear in her eye.

“Who are you?”

She frowned.  “I…  I don’t know.  Maybe that’s not important here.  But I know who you are.  You’re Yuriko.”

“No, I’m Lily,” I said, puzzled.

“No,” she shook her head vigorously.  “Yuriko.”  She frowned.  “And it wasn’t supposed to be like this.”

“What do you mean?,” I asked.  This was getting weird.  A small dog hopped into my lap, panting.  I absently scratched her.  Her?

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” she repeated.  “I… I’m sorry, Yuriko.  I’m so sorry.  I wish I could take it all back.”

“Take what back?,” I asked.  I absently scratched Marie on the head.  Marie?  The dog is named Marie?  How did I know that?  I looked down and said “Marie?”, and her tail started wagging.  Marie, I guess.  She licked my hand.

“What?  What are you sorry for?”

A crystal tear ran down her face, and fell off her chin.  She pulled something out of seemingly nowhere, and handed it to me.  It was a red spider lily.  Perfect.  Seemingly made of iridescent glass, but soft to the touch, like a real flower.  I looked at it, and I looked at her.

“Do you know?”, I asked, tears starting to well up in my own eyes.

She nodded.  “I know.  But I can’t say.  I’m not allowed.  But…  but I had to tell you.  I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry, Yuriko”.  She took my hand.  “I’m happy for you.  I’m glad you found a family who loves you.  Better than we could.  Better than we did.”

My mouth dropped open.  “You – You’re -“

She reached a hand up and stroked my cheek.  “I don’t know if I’ll be allowed to talk to you again.  I love you, Yuriko.  I always did.  And I’m sorry.  So sorry…”

The dream started to fade, and I started to scream.  “NO!  DON’T GO!!! I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!”

But then I woke up.

Oh no.  Oh God.  Oh no.

I ran over to Sabby’s room and knocked on her door.  “Sabby?  Sabby?  SABBY!!!”  i could feel the tears starting to form, and I couldn’t hold them back.  She opened the door, and I launched myself into her.  “Sabby, I… I… I SAW HER!!!”

But I lost my words right then and just started wailing.

Sabby took me downstairs so I didn’t wake everyone else up and just held me while I cried it out.  “Sabby,” I hiccuped, “I had a dream.  I saw her.  I don’t know who she was, but I saw her…”


“HER,” I said.  “I think she was my previous mother.”

“She… your…”

“Yes!  Oh Sabby it was a nice house and there was a dog named Marie and she was kind of plain but pretty and she kept telling me she was sorry and she loved me and… and… and she gave me a red spider lily!  Kind of like the one Jack gave me! And she said it wasn’t supposed to be like this.”

“Do you remember her?”

I frowned.  “No.  But I remembered the dog.”

“We’re calling the psychologist in the morning.”

I nodded.  It only made sense.  It was a small memory.  Just the dog’s name.  But it’s the first memory I got back.  The only memory.  A dog named Marie.  If it’s a memory at all.

Sabby finally took me back to bed, but I couldn’t sleep.

And…  and it got weirder!!!

Because I got a package!!!

And when I opened the package…  it was from that person that sent my the information for my trust account!  And… and… IT WAS THE LILY!!!


It came with a note.

“Lily, this has recently come into my possession.  I can’t tell you how I got it or where it came from.  But it belongs to you.  And you should have it.”

And that’s all the note said.

It was a beautiful lily.  The one Jack got me was beautiful, but this one was far more beautiful and far more intricate.  It seemed to shine with a light of its own, but it was just reflecting and diffusing the light.  It came in a little but extremely fancy box and I was almost afraid to take it out.  It wasn’t quite soft to the touch like the one in my dream, but it was just as intricate and beautiful.

A lily.  A red spider lily.  Lycoris Radiata.  And a dog named Marie.


We called the psychologist and damned if she didn’t clear out her schedule for me, we’re talking tomorrow.

Love you all!!! ❤

Series Navigation<< April 10, 2022 – A Sad DayApril 12, 2022 – What Dreams May Come >>