This diary entry is part 1 of 29 in Lily's diary dated 10 - April 2022

Hi!  It’s me!  Yuriko!

April Fools!  I’m Lily!

But you knew that.  It’s all over this diary…

So I was honestly more happy that it was Friday than April fools.  Yay for Friday!!

Sabby’s still pretty ticked at me, but she’s getting over it.  I probably shouldn’t have done that.  I knew she didn’t like it.  And I think that’s why she was upset more than anything else.  Buuuuuttt…  it was April Fools!  I mean, apart from Halloween, what other day can I do that, and, well, not mean it?  I can’t imagine wearing that kind of outfit non-ironically.  I like pretty, fashionable things.  Not, well… that.

The big problem is, Jack did like that.  Really, really liked that.  I’m probably going to have to model it for him at least once.  Sigh.  I told him if I do that for him, he’d better dress like one of those BTS boys for me.  He gulped, but I guess he thought it’d be worth it.  I guess we’ve got our Halloween costumes figured out someday.

So, anyway, Sabby told us no girls over tonight.  Awww.  But I guess I understand that.  We haven’t had any actual family time in a long time.  It’s Liz, or Crystal, or Diana, or Allison,…  always girls in and out and I think Sabby’s a bit tired of it.  She likes them, don’t get me wrong, but she’s also kind of right.

And I think David’s a bit relieved.  Poor kid.  He doesn’t say much, but all those girls hanging around makes him a little uncomfortable.  Should we find him another friend too?

So we had a nice dinner and watched a movie.  Just the five of us.  Well, six, if you include Cat.  And it was nice.  I love my sisters, but…  I love my family too.

And you all too.

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 2 of 29 in Lily's diary dated 10 - April 2022

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!!!

You know, there are some things I don’t talk about.  One of those things is my coworkers.  I don’t know why, I just don’t feel the need to.  They’re pretty nice for the most part but I just go to work and do my job.

The other thing is that time between the time that I was taken on that first shopping trip, and the time I started this diary.  I’ve said very little about that time.  I’m not really sure why.  Maybe just because it’s not that interesting.  I mostly just spent that time holed up in my room, honestly.  I mean, Dave and Sabby tried to include me in their family as much as they could, but Beth and to a lesser degree David just wasn’t having it, and I didn’t really feel like I belonged.  It’s not that Sabby let Beth get away with it – she didn’t – but she couldn’t be there all the time, and Beth is nothing if not creative.

To Sabby’s credit, if I fired back every now and then, she didn’t yell at me.  Her attitude was, if Beth could dish it out, then she could take it.  I remember one time when Beth was making fun of me for something, and I just told her that maybe I wasn’t the prettiest girl, but she was ugly in a way makeup couldn’t fix.  She went running to Sabby, and all Sabby said was, “You deserved it.”

It wasn’t a fun time and I prefer to not remember it.

There were some fun times, though.  Sabby really did try.  She took me on a few more shopping trips – though none of them meant quite as much to me as that first one.  She got me chocolatey things every now and then – I think that’s one reason I like chocolate soooo much.  It was Sabby’s way of including me.  But it took a long time before I started to feel like a part of the family.

And I went to a lot of doctors and psychologists and psychiatrists.  None of them could figure out why I’d lost my memory, and they told me that the way I lost my memory was really strange.  They ran tests and poked and prodded me, and I spent a lot of time trying different things, the doctors hoping that maybe it would jog my memory.  But it never did.  Finally they just kind of gave up.  They started shifting to trying to help me to cope with my life as it is, rather than trying to find my past.  This diary was supposed to be a way to do that.

And, well, it seems to have worked pretty well, I think.

I made a few friends in virtual school, like Liz, and my tech friend that helped me set this site up, and a few other people I haven’t talked to much lately.  I think my tech friend was sweet on me, to be honest.  He was so nice, but I didn’t want to feel like I was using him, that’s why I pay for it myself now.  I truly didn’t want a boyfriend.  Jack was an accident.  A happy accident, but an accident nonetheless.

Well, that’s the story.  Not too interesting?  Maybe I’ll think of some stuff that happened then.  But, honestly… I’d still just rather forget.

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 3 of 29 in Lily's diary dated 10 - April 2022

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

today after work I went over to Liz to eat dinner with her and her parents.  Liz spends a lot of time over at my place but I wanted to spend a little time with her and her parents.  No Beth.  Nothing against Beth at all, but Liz is my best friend, not Beth’s.  Besides, Crystal and Diana came over this afternoon to spend some time with Beth.  She’s got friends!! YAY!!!  They went to the mall and did stuff that fourteen year old girls do at the mall.  Like…  giggling, I guess.  Lots of giggling.

Sabby took them, and I guess makeovers for everyone!!

Liz and I talked a lot.  We don’t get to talk as much as I’d like.  She has a boy she’s into, and she thinks he might be into her, but I guess Liz isn’t quite as direct as I am… she’s having a hard time finding out for sure.  Poor Liz.  I offered/threatened to find out for her and she smacked me, but there was a kind of hope in her eyes too.  So I might.  And if it works out, I won’t get smacked more.

I don’t know how to do that, though.  “Hi, random boy Liz likes.  You have a girlfriend?  No?  Want one?  NOT ME, SILLY BILLY!!!”  Yeah.  I think I need to choose a slightly more diplomatic approach.  IF I DO.  Don’t smack me yet, Liz.  Wait till I actually do something!

I’m tired.  I think I’ll go to bed.

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 4 of 29 in Lily's diary dated 10 - April 2022

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!!!

Sabby’s not mad at me anymore for wearing the maid outfit, but somehow I think it’s worse, now.  She’s disappointed.

She asked me if I’d ever seen any of those, well, unsavory sites.  You know, with women doing not so nice things.  I said I had accidentally, but it’s gross.

She asked me if those women ever regretted what they put on the net.

I thought for a bit, and said I didn’t know, but maybe some did?

She nodded.  “Some don’t,” she said, “but far too many do.  But that’s the thing about the net.  Once something’s out there, you can’t take it back, and you will never know where it is.  If you’re lucky, it’ll get lost somewhere, but if you’re not, then you’ll get people stopping you in the street. And like it or not, that’s all they’ll ever see you for.”

“But – it’s just a costume”.

She sighed.  “It is, Lily.  By itself, it’s probably not too big a deal.  People wear worse than that to conventions.  But the problem is that you don’t understand..  You just see it as something fun to dress up as.  But the net doesn’t forgive, Lily.  One mistake and you’ll regret it forever.”

I frowned. “It sounds like you”re talking from experience,” I said.

“Not quite,” she said, “but close.”  And she wouldn’t say anything more about that.

I guess I have something to think about now.

Maybe thunder tonight!  Yayyy!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 5 of 29 in Lily's diary dated 10 - April 2022

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

Jack and I actually had a bit of a fight tonight. It was our first one.  I know, you’d think it was because he was… being a boy, right?  Being insensitive, or demanding something from me, or this or that.  But no!

We had a fight because he…  agreed with Sabby.

I told him what Sabby told me, and he said that he loved me, and he respected me, and he didn’t want me to do things that made him respect me less.  I told him that how I dress shouldn’t have anything to do with how he respected me, and he said that whether it should or not, it does.  He asked me if I would still respect him if I found out he was flirting with women, even if he thought it was entirely innocent?

I countered back that I wasn’t flirting with anyone and that wasn’t a fair comparison, and he said that wearing sexy outfits was flirting in a way, even if I didn’t have any target in mind.  I got angry with him, and told him that he didn’t have any right to tell me how to dress.  He said no, he doesn’t, but he does have a right to have an opinion about how I dress, and that it’s not fair to him to expect to have my chocolate and eat it too (yes, he said that, the silly billy!).  I don’t think we were really mad at each other, but we signed off in a huff, and I was sad.

I went to talk to Sabby about it and she sighed.  I don’t understand what they’re trying to tell me!  Why should it matter if I wear a maid outfit or not?  Isn’t it my choice to wear what I want???

Sabby just stood up and went to her room.  A few minutes later, she called me up.  I went in, and she was wearing a very skimpy outfit, that left very little to the imagination.  She looked very good in it, and I blushed.

“Sabby!,” I said.  “That’s not decent!”

“Why not?”, she said, and sat down on the bed, well, giving herself a wedgie.  “It’s my right to wear what I want, right?  Why should it matter if I wear this?”

“Because… because… GRRR!!”, I said.  I couldn’t think of a reason.  But it did.

“Now how would you feel if I wore this into the supermarket?”

“I’d be embarrassed!”

“Why?’, she asked.  “It’s just clothing!”

I sighed.  “But it’s not decent!  People might… get the wrong idea! … ooooooohh.”

“And you think people would get the right idea if you were walking around wearing a maid outfit?”

I sighed.  “They might think I was… wearing it for their entertainment.  Even if I wasn’t.”

She pointed down at her…  proud assets.  “Wear these things for people you want to enjoy them,” she said.  “Not for people you don’t care about.  Because they won’t care about you.  Now scoot, this thing is tight and I don’t like wearing it for very long.”

I went back to my room, and called up Jack.



“I’m sorry.”

“Why?”, he asked.  Typical boy, dragging it out.  Like him being right wasn’t bad enough.

… “Because this is only for you,” I said, looking down.

“I’m not a jerk, Lily,” he said, quietly.  “I know you like to dress nicely, and I know you have a nice body.  There’s nothing wrong with that.  But…  let some things be just for us.  Please?”

“Do you want me to take my swimsuit pic off my diary?”

“It’s a swimsuit.  It’s not the same thing.  You wear it to swim, not to show off.  I hope, anyway.”  He smirked.

Why is Sabby so smart?  I hate it when she’s smart!

Jack and I are okay now.  I think.  I know I can wear what I want.  But some things…  are only for him.

I guess a part of growing up is knowing what you’re allowed to do… and knowing when not to do it anyway.

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 6 of 29 in Lily's diary dated 10 - April 2022

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

I didn’t mention, we didn’t get any thunder.  We didn’t even get any rain.  It was a big nothing.  We had record breaking temperature yesterday, but it was nice today!  When it’s nice here, it’s really nice.  And when it’s not, it’s… umm… not.

But after that tornado, I think I’d rather have a big nothing.

I was watching YouTube videos on tornadoes.  They’re… ummm… scary.  The one I saw was comparatively weak (I said comparatively, I know it caused a lot of damage).  There was one a few years ago that was like 3 miles wide and hit speeds of 300 mph.  It even killed some stormchasers.  It was scary!!!  The video I saw, a truck tipped over and the guy was using the truck as a shield! And even though it was on its side, the truck was moving!  Scary!!!

But y’know, those stormchasers died doing what they loved.  Is there a better way to die?  I don’t think so.  Maybe this summer I can chase a storm or two!!

Things have quieted down from maid-gate.  I think I understand now why Sabby was so mad.  It wasn’t the costume itself.  It’s that I didn’t understand what the costume meant.  I sometimes see vtubers, like dog-girl, doing silly things so people will give them money.  And some are a little more, ummm…  adult, I guess.  If you’re wearing that kind of thing just so people will give you money, what does that make you? Food for thought, I guess.

I don’t promise never to wear that costume again.  But I do promise to think more carefully about when and how I do it.  And I also promise Jack that some things will only be for him.  Like that awful purple thing Liz bought me.  I mean, I think it’s awful.  But I bet Jack loves it.

Some people might think Jack was being a jerk.  I don’t think he was.  I mean, I can see why people would think that – some boys like to control their girls – but all he’s asking for is respect as my boyfriend and for me to treat him like he’s special.  That’s not asking too much.  I’m not upset at all.  He deserves that from me.  And I deserve that from him.  And he keeps me stocked with chocolate, so.. that works.  Haha!

Gotta go.

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 7 of 29 in Lily's diary dated 10 - April 2022

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!!!

I am such a Lily that I’m a…  Lily!!!  Isn’t that cool?  I’m the Liliest Lily that ever lilied!!!

So I found the most amazing thing on YouTube!! Remember how we went to the waterpark a lot?  Before school started??  Well, there are two waterparks in the area.  An indoor one up north (that got hit by the tornado!!) and another one a bit to the east.  The one to the east has a wave pool, and water slides, and…. and I found a YouTube channel by the guy that runs them!!!

The actual guy that runs them!!!

So many amazing things!!! Pumps!!! Valves!!!  Electrical thingies!!!  And this big blue tank that filters stuff!!!  It’s amazing!!!  The wave pool has these blowers and these pistons that go clunk hisss clunk hisss!!!  And he even said that sometimes when people want to see the pump room he’s chill about it!!!  Maybe next time we go to the waterpark I’ll ask!!!

But my favorite thing about the waterpark is not losing my top!! hahahaah!!!!

I can’t wait to go to the waterpark again!!!

Anyway, I guess other than maid-gate it’s been a pretty slow week.  Just schoolwork and schoolwork and.. did I mention schoolwork?  Dave still takes me tinkering out in the garage, he bought me a nice aftermarket car stereo but the thing is, I have to install it!!! So I’m learning about that stuff.  And I’ve been driving too!!! I can’t get my “real” license yet but I got a little night practice!!! It’s scary!!!  Oh oh oh and I’m practicing for my recital too!!!  I’m doing a piece by Chopin!!  And one by Debussy!!! And… and a hard one by Liszt!!!

I wonder if he had a shopping liszt to get food!  Hahahahaahah1!!!!!

…. I’ll be over here.

It’s still a bit hard to read music but I’m learning!!! Again?  I don’t know.

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 8 of 29 in Lily's diary dated 10 - April 2022

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

It’s FRIDAY!!!!!!


And it’s GIRL PILE NIGHT!!!!

So all the crowd came over tonight!  Liz!  Crystal! Diana!  Allison would have come but she had a movie to watch at school!  No Aika and Mika, but that’s just because they’re in Houston.  Awww.  We watched a movie!!!  Allison really likes Encanto, and Diana wanted to see it, so we watched it! Sabby grumbled a bit, she’s not happy with Disney right now for some reason, but we watched it anyway.  It’s about…  a hispanic girl, I guess.  Diana really liked it!

Oh and Diana made tacos!!!  YUM!!!!  Sabby doesn’t really like people in her kitchen but Diana’s tacos are sooooo good that she lets her do it!!! And they are!!! Crystal just created a very efficient plate to mouth transport mechanism by way of her digital appendages, and Liz was a little more, umm… reserved.  But even she thought they were delicious.  That’s why Diana got to choose the movie!!

So now we’re going to play games and make a girl pile!!!  Jack, Liz wants me to tell you that our girl piles are completely innocent and the tacos might make things a bit challenging tonight!  hahahahaa!!!!  Diana thinks you’re a bit of a heel but I told her you’re a good guy, just… no sisters.  She seemed to understand.  She’s an only child.

Oh and I video called Grace!!!  YAAAAAYYY!!!!  She’s having a good time in Ohio!!!  Oh!  They got her a doggie!!!  YAAAAYYY!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 9 of 29 in Lily's diary dated 10 - April 2022

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

And we had a PICNIC!!!

The whole group went over to a park today!  Liz and her parents, my family, Crystal and her family, and Maria and Diana.  Oh and Emiko and her family also came by!!!  Allison and her parents too!!!  After work Sabby came to pick me up and took me to the picnic too!  Dave and Bill and Liz’s father and Crystal’s father all stood around the grill and grilled!!!  OMG so much food!!!!

And after we ate, we played games!!!  We played tag!  And volleyball!  And badminton!!!  And a fun game where Dave was “it” but didn’t know it, so we kept running from him!  HAHAHAHA!!!!

So we played and ran around and had fun until it got dark!!!  Emiko and her family are going to stick around the area and go to that indoor waterpark tomorrow!  I wish I could go too but I have to work.  They’ll come over later tomorrow and we’ll have some “family” time.  Well, both families, I guess.  They do have a waterpark in Houston but not that!!  I just learned the one here is the third largest in the US!!!


But the picnic was fun too!  Sooo much fun!!!  I’m glad Emiko and her family can have some fun here too.  I don’t know how I feel about Emiko and Bill and Aika and Mika sometimes, but they’re a family too, like mine, and they deserve to have family time too, right?

Honestly, Houston doesn’t have that kind of waterpark!!!  It’s only here!  In my city!!! I’m a lucky girl!!!

Well, I’m lucky in many ways.  Many, many ways.  For the low, low price of all my memories before I was 14.


I… I don’t know whether to be happy or sad when I think about that.

I lost sooo much.  But I gained sooo much too.  And I don’t know if I’d have what I have if I hadn’t lost what I did.  Isn’t that how life is sometimes?  You have to sacrifice something to gain something?  But I don’t know what I sacrificed, so I don’t know if it was worth it.

Life is so unfair, and yet, somehow it works out, right?

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 10 of 29 in Lily's diary dated 10 - April 2022

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!!!

I’m sad.

Emiko and her family went to the waterpark this morning, and i guess the girls had loads of fun.  Well, of course they did!  It’s a waterpark!  Anyone who doesn’t have fun at a waterpark is a silly billy!!!  They smell like chlorine now.  Which isn’t a bad thing!  Chlorine smells like fun!!

Anyway, after they got done at the waterpark, they came over here, and that was about the time I came home from work.  It was a nice enough time.  I think Emiko has accepted me as part of her family (well, she’d kinda better) and Bill seems to have at least come to terms with my existence.  He even offered to show me some stuff on how to make this site better!

But every time I see Emiko, I think of what might have been.  No, she’s not a better mother than Sabby.  I mean, the fact that she gave me up automatically makes Sabby the better mother, because of the two of them, Sabby never gave anyone up.  At least as far as I know.  But she’s a different mother than Sabby.  Sabby expects a lot from us, but I wouldn’t really call her strict.  Emiko is pretty strict.  She has high standards for her children and expects them to meet those standards, but she’s not mean about it.  She’s kind of like Liz’s parents in that regard – Aika and Mika have things they have to learn.  Like they have to know Japanese (they’re actually pretty fluent, unlike me!), they have to study hard, and learn a musical instrument.  I think Emiko is secretly a little proud of me because I can play the piano, even though I have no idea how I know how to!  And she’s impressed that I know as much Japanese as I do!!! But… how different would life be?  How different would life be if she hadn’t given me up?  Or if whatever happened to my “other” adoptive parents hadn’t, well, had whatever happened, happen?  I feel like my life just kind of happened to me, and it could have been so different.  Maybe not better, but…  different.

I love Sabby!  But… but would I love Emiko?  Like I do Sabby?

I don’t know, because she never gave me that chance.

And that’s what really hurts the most.

She’s really trying.  I really appreciate that she’s trying.  She wants to rectify her mistake with me.  And I appreciate that too.  I really do.

But it was a big mistake.

And, deep in my heart of hearts, I’m not sure I’ll ever truly forgive her for it.  I know I said I do.  And I mean to.  I want to.  I won’t hold it against her.  But can I actually do it?

In happier news, we set a date for going to Japan!!! I just hope the virus doesn’t screw that up.  I think when I’m there I might call myself Yuriko Nakamoto.  Not because I want to take the name, but…  it just seems to make sense, right?  I have to practice how to say it.

Love you all!!! ❤