This diary entry is part 25 of 31 in Lily's diary dated 14 - August 2022

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

Okay.  I want to say that I meant every word that I wrote last night.  But…

This morning while I was at school, an overnight delivery came.  I didn’t know who it was from, but when I got home, I opened it, and it was absolutely full of chocolate.  Not the cheap kind either – the kind Jack buys me, and other types besides.  Stuff imported from Switzerland.  Stuff imported from Austria.  Stuff imported from Japan.  The amount of chocolate in that box was breathtaking.  And there was a note.  I can post it – you’ll see.


I owe you an apology.  Interjecting in your diary was not the proper thing to do.  Truth be told, I panicked, and I made a couple of calls to people who had the know-how to do that.  I promise I won’t do it again.  I should have sent you a letter, like I am now.  I know you love chocolate, so I hope this is satisfactory as a peace offering.

You don’t understand, Lily.  That’s not your fault, and it’s not mine – not directly.  While I have some knowledge of what happened, my knowledge is not complete.  It is not in my job description to be honest – in fact, most of the time, quite the opposite – but I will do so now,, as much as I can.

What is the most important thing for you to know is that I am, and always have been, on your side.  I know it’s not important to you – and I am so happy that this is the case – that you have a rather sizeable trust fund, but I spent a lot of time and effort making sure that it was made available to you.  For reasons you don’t understand and hopefully will never understand, it was owed to you, and I was hoping that in some small way it could make up for what you have experienced – over the past couple of years, and before besides.  I have kept up with your diary every single day since I was made aware of its existence, and not only do I use it to keep tabs on you for my own purposes, I find myself genuinely interested in your life and how you are progressing.

You are a strong girl, Lily.  A very strong girl.  You always have been.  You took circumstances that were stacked against you and managed to become a very well-balanced young woman.  I watched you get adopted, I watched you learn about the unexpected skills you have, and I watched you grow from an uncertain and insecure young woman into the confident young woman you are today.  Believe me, nothing could make me happier, even if just to assuage some of my guilt at the circumstances surrounding your life.

There were… unfortunate circumstances that led to you being where you are today.  I am still not at liberty to even hint at them, but I fear that you may discover them for yourself, soon, or at least discover an incomplete version of them that will only lead to questions and jumping to incorrect conclusions.  If you continue down this road of trying to find out who you were before you were found, the answers you find might not be the answers you were looking for or expected, and there is little that can be done to “set the record straight”.  I find the fact that you are having dreams about your “previous life” to be an unexpected and unwelcome development, frankly, but there is nothing to be done.  I just hope that they do not cause you more stress than you would otherwise have in your life.  Unfortunately, I fear that that may be the case.

You will probably wish to post this on your diary.  You have my permission, as it was I that interjected there in the first place.  I don’t expect that this letter and the chocolate will completely assuage your justified anger, but I trust I have at least explained myself somewhat satisfactorily.  I implore you, though to tread carefully from here on.  All I can tell you is that there is a reason that people very high up in the government – including myself – have a personal interest in you.  There have been multiple intercessions on your behalf, on a very high level, to ensure that you are able to live a somewhat normal life as a citizen of the country you were born in.  When I say very high level, I mean very high level.  “You have seen some of us on the news” level.  But do not worry.  We are all on your side.  Many owe you a great debt, and we will ensure it is paid.  After all, while we are by nature of our jobs not always the most honest, we are, at the least, honorable.

Please give our regards, and our thanks, to your adoptive parents.  We could not have wished for a better family for you.  It is our understanding that you and Sabby wish to open a business.  While our resources are not unlimited, there may be things we can do to help smooth the process.  All we ask is to try some of her cookies.  If they are as good as you say they are, well, the Pentagon is a very large building, with lots of people who like cookies.  While many military and intelligence types can be not so nice at times, we’re still human, and have quite the sweet tooth.

I have said enough.  Perhaps, too much.  Please take my words to heart and, if you cannot forgive me, at least enjoy the chocolate.  I remain, your anonymous benefactor.

Well.  Isn’t that something.

I only have this to say, as I’m pretty sure the person reading this is also, at some point reading this entry.  Thank you for the chocolate.  I’m not sure I forgive you.  But I’ll take you at your word that you don’t mean me harm.  After all, if you are as high up as you say, what choice do I have?  But don’t do that again.  If you ever want me to even come close to trusting you, never do that again.

Otherwise, it’s nearly bedtime.

Oh.  I meet my birth father next week.  Fun.

Love you all!!! ❤

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