Category: Diary

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

Dave’s doing a bit better today.  I guess some days are just harder than others.  Sabby wasn’t upset at me.  I didn’t think she would be, but I’m still a little careful.  Maybe I shouldn’t be, but I am.

You know, I don’t think I’ve ever been truly angry when I’ve written here.  Hurt, yes, sad, even frustrated…  angry at the virus, maybe, but no one’s ever made me angry enough to want to vent here.  I’m just not an angry kinda girl, I guess.  What’s the point in being angry?  You hit something, or someone, or yell, or scream, and generally things are worse than when you left them.  But, I guess anger can be a good motivator.  Sometimes when Sabby’s pissed off stuff gets cleaned.  There’s no clean like rage-clean.  Dave just goes quiet and walks away.  Somehow that’s worse, because you get the feeling that he’s barely controlling himself.

But he does and that’s the important thing.  He usually snaps out of it.  But it can take a little bit.

Of course, I’ve seen Beth angry.  We won’t say any more about that.

There’s so much to be angry at, but why?  I can’t think of a single thing that will get better by getting angry at it.

Anyway, I started looking for a part time job today.  Well, that’s how the day started.  It’s an odd world out there right now, Dave tells me I’m in a really good position, I’ve got pretty much my pick of jobs, just for the taking.  There are help wanted signs everywhere.  So I decided I didn’t want to do fast food if I could avoid it, instead I went down to the convenience store down the street and applied there – you know, the one Beth hangs out at.  It’s a nice store, with a gas station, well lit, all that kinda thing.  I just basically walked in and said “I need a job, are you hiring?”

I thought the owner was going to roll the red carpet out!  His only questions were “can I depend on you?”, “what hours can you work?”, “are you legal to work?”, and “when can you start?”  He’s gonna pay a really good starting wage, and will train me up!  It’s a little scary, but I think it’ll be alright!  Dave’s happy for me.  He took me aside and gave me this advice:  “Showing up on time and working your full shift really is half the battle, the rest will just determine how well you can advance.”  I didn’t really believe him, but he said “I’ve been working for many years, trust me.  Just be dependable and willing to learn, and any good manager will bend over backwards to keep you.  And if they don’t, then they’re a bad manager and move on.”  Both he and Sabby said they’d have my back if I keep my end of the bargain and it doesn’t work out.

I really appreciate that.

So I start next weekend.  Yay!  Their lawyer tells me that being adopted by them makes me legal to work, there’s just a few hoops to go through, but should be a piece of cake.

I’m only going to work weekends for right now.  The manager wanted me to work more but school comes first, and we’ll see how it works out.  Maybe once I’m trained up I can work a few hours a week in the evenings.  I’m limited by state law how much I can work anyway.  I just got the feeling he just needed a warm body.

Plus I get to keep an eye on Beth and her friends!

Anyway, I should get some sleep.  I’m not gonna stay cute with bags under my eyes!

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

People seem sad today.  I was looking at some videos of what happened twenty years ago, and I can see why.  It just seems so senseless.  People dying for no reason other than some other people were jerks.  I guess Dave knew some people who died, and he’s not having a really good day.  He doesn’t have any hair to brush, sadly, so all I could do was bring him his favorite drink and asked him if he wanted to talk.  He didn’t, but he seemed to appreciate the gesture.  I did rub his shoulders, and he seemed to appreciate that too.  If Sabby wants to get upset about that we’ll have words because he’s my new father and I love him.  If I can hug her and brush her hair, I can rub his shoulders.

But that was before I was born, no matter what my actual birthday was, it was twenty years ago, there’s really no point in being sad all day.  So we had a moment of silence and then moved on.  Dave decided he wanted to grill, that seems to calm him, so he barbecued some stuff up, and it was delicious, as usual.  He just seemed… sad.  But he seemed to get a little better as the day went on.  I guess some things stay raw, even after twenty years.

Sabby mostly made herself scarce, today.  She went out with some friends and had lunch.  I think she just wanted to give Dave a little space this morning.

Liz and I spent some time together today, we played board games.  We let Beth join in too, and she seemed grateful.  The mood in the house was just too somber, and it was good to just have a little girl fun.  Well, if you call scrabble girl fun, but whatever.  I have homework to do now, so I think I’m going to do it.

For those of you who are sad, it’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to remember, but you can’t bring back the dead.  Try to make your life worth something out of respect for those who didn’t get the chance.

Oh, and my tech friend is teaching me about something called SEO.  Great, another thing to learn.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

It’s getting cooler!  Yayayayayay!!!!!  It’s not cool, it almost never gets cold, but cooler!  It was in the mid 60s this morning!  It was a nice run!!!  Liz even ran with me before she had to go to school!!!  She wants to keep being able to fit into her cheongsam!

I’m tired, I’ve been sooooo busy.  So much to do.  I learned even more about the space shuttle.  Turns out that there’s more computer power in my smartphone than in all their flight computers!  Though their computers were much more rugged!  It was such a complicated thing!  I’m still amazed at the boosters!

Beth is really getting into her Saturn V project.  They had some pretty amazing technology, too.  She found some YouTube videos of a guy who rebuilt one of the Apollo flight computers and actually ran a flight sim using it!  And those rockets were so powerful too!  Apparently they were going to try to resurrect one and gave up.  That’s sad.  But I guess technology from sixty years ago maybe should stay dead?  I dunno.

I don’t think I want to be an astronaut, though.  I have a hard enough time with waterslides!  Keeping my top on!  Oh, Sabby bought me a joke sign, I’ll have to post a picture soon – it says “Swimsuits optional beyond this point”. har har har.  I’m laughing on the inside.

Oop, gotta go!  Time for the family movie!  We’re going to watch an anime!!!

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!  Your favorite Lily!  Unless you know another Lily!  Then maybe she’s your favorite!  Yay!

I’m in a good mood today and I don’t know why.  Maybe it’s because I have a full belly, David actually talked to me yesterday, I learned something at school, and…  no, don’t ruin it!  No, don’t tell me about all that political stuff!  I don’t want to know!  LALALALALALALALA

I’m putting my fingers in my ears!  My ears are cute!  And a good place to put fingers! Well, maybe.

It’s starting to cool down a little!  The days are still hot, but the mornings when I run are much nicer!  I still sweat, but the air feels much better!  It’s getting cool!  Hopefully we don’t get another ice storm, though!!!

Sabby saw my post and said I was right, if I were to try to get away with a maid costume she’d make me clean in it.  She was smirking, though.  She did know that Halloween is coming, though, and thanked me for reminding her.  Halloween isn’t a big thing in the Smith family but they do like to at least decorate the house a bit.  I told Sabby we should just put up a twelve foot picture of her with a stern look on her face.  She told me in return that I don’t need a maid outfit to clean.  I shut up.

Sometimes with Sabby shutting up is the wise thing to do.

Sometimes not, though.  She’s pretty fair.  If she’s wrong, she’ll fess up.  Just not always immediately.

She thought my comparison with Claire Huxtable was hilarious though.

I’m tired.  I still have some homework to do.  Did you know the Space Shuttle was a pretty complex piece of equipment?  I’ve been watching videos of it taking off.  It’s amazing.  The sparks, then the ignition… then the solid rocket boosters ignite and the whole thing just leaps into the air like Dave when I sneak up on him!  Challenger was sad, though.  I wonder what kids thought in schools when they were watching it explode.

Oh well.  That was a long time ago.  Before I was born.  Long before I was born.  Assuming I’m not some kind of immortal deity that came to earth as a cute sixteen year old girl and lost all her memories!  I think the chances of that are kinda low though, don’t you think?

But not impossible!  That’s the beauty of it!  Could you imagine the look on Sabby’s face?

Well, I’m through being a silly billy for tonight!  I’m silly!  Time for bed!  Goodnight!

Love you all!!!!! ❤️

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!  Your favorite sixteen year old with no memory!!!

I had my Japanese class today.  Sensei wants me to keep practicing the “k”, but she added another line now.  This is hard!  But I wanted to do it, so ganbarimasu.  I learned that!  It means “I’ll try my best!”

Well, it seems like it’s a little more final than that, but oh well.

I want to go to Japan someday!  I want to see mount Fuji!  Maybe take a picture!  Hahaha!  Fuji film!  Hey, how did I know that??  I want to see Tokyo!  Shibuya! Akihabara! Maybe I’ll buy a maid costume and give the boys a heart attack!  KIDDING!  I know Sabby reads this!  I think she’d kill me!  But Halloween is coming up, so I have to think of something…

Maybe I’ll wear the cheongsam!

Actually what would probably happen is she’d say “if you’re going to wear the maid costume, I might as well put you to work”, and then I’d have to clean, in high heels to boot, and that wouldn’t be any fun!  I wouldn’t put it past her!  I saw how Claire Huxtable dealt with the girls who thought they had a singing group!  “Flinging parts from one end to the other!  I won’t HAVE it!”

No maid costume for me.

So, what else.  David actually asked me today why Allison was so mad at him!  Me!  So I asked him what he did.  He looked embarrassed, and said he pulled her hair.  Yeah, that’ll do it.  I told him that even though he’s nine, girls don’t like their hair pulled, and you have to show you like them in a better way than that.

So, he asked, what’s a better way?

I had to think, because I’ve never thought about it.  I don’t really think about boys.  I don’t want to be swept off my feet, I don’t want a boyfriend, I just don’t.  Like I said, I like boys, but I can’t think about that right now.  I don’t think girls that age would like flowers, or anything like in the movies.  Finally I just said “treat her nicely.”

“How do I do that?”

I facepalmed.  Of course he wouldn’t know.  He’s David.

“You know all that stuff you do to Beth?”

“Yeah.”

“Do the opposite.”

“ohhhhhh.”

I can’t believe that worked.

“What do you like about her anyway?,” I asked.

“Well,” he said, clearly embarrassed.  “She’s pretty, and… and…  she likes some boy stuff.  Like swimming.  And baseball.  And mud.  I like mud.”

That’s not really boy stuff, but he’s nine, so I let it pass.  “You know she likes girl stuff too, right?”

He nodded.

“Then maybe try to understand what things girls like.  It won’t kill you to smell a little better,” I said, and ruffled his hair.  He looked embarrassed.  “Anyway, you’re young and there’s lots more girls out there.”

“I guess,” he said.  “I’m going to go play Roblox.”

And he did.  I was just happy he talked to me for once.

Dave tells me I need to start looking for a part time job.  Sigh.  But he’s right.  I have a car to maintain now.

Love you all!!!❤️

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

So Allison’s mother came to pick her up.  She was glad to go home, but it was sad too.  She gave me a big hug and told me how much fun she had.  She gave Sabby and Beth one too.  She shook Dave’s hand in an all grown-up way, and gave David the stink-eye.  I’m not sure what he did, but I’m sure he did something.  Her mother told her to be polite, and she said, very primly, “Goodbye, David.”  I think she would have thrown mud at him if she could have.

He looked sad, but I’m sure that’s not the last time he’ll get his heart broken.  He probably deserved it for something.

I know I sound like I hate David, but I don’t!  I really don’t!  But sometimes he’s a little jerk.  It’s not fair to say, but it’s true.  I hope he grows out of it.  I’d like to be his big sister, but all he wants to do is play computer games and torment his sister.  I’ve asked Sabby about it, and she just said to give him time, he’s little yet.  And she’s right.  But still.

Turns out, though, she forgot her gift from the space museum.  I guess I’ll have to figure some way to get it to her.

Otherwise, it’s Labor Day!  It’s Barbecue Day!  Dave loves to grill!  So he’s out in back right now with the grill, hopefully not singeing his eyebrows off, but he’s happy as a clam!   He can be a bit clumsy sometimes, but he does know how to grill!  My mouth is watering with the smells already!  Hamburgers and hot dogs and chicken!  I can’t wait!  I know I sound like I’m picking on Dave too but I love him!  He’s like my father!  But what good is a father if you can’t pick on them for being a little clumsy?  He gets me back, too.  More than once I’ve been woken abruptly by a prank.

I deserved it, too, frankly.

Well, the smells are driving me nuts, so I think I’ll go out and see how Dave’s doing.  Maybe Sabby needs help with the potato salad.  Bye for now!!!

Love you all!!!❤️

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!!!

So this morning, Allison spent a little time in the pool, then we packed up and headed home.  There was a lot of traffic, I guess because of Labor Day, but we made it safe and sound!  Once we got home, we unpacked.  David ran right over to his computer and made up for lost time, Beth just seemed tired and wanted to go read a book.  But we still had a young girl to entertain.  So I called Liz, and Sabby took us to the mall!!!

We haven’t been to the mall in a long time!!! I love the mall!  All the sights and sounds and smells!  Allison wanted a cinnabon, so we bought her one, and then just took a walk around as she munched on it.  There’s usually a little train, but it’s not operational because of the virus.  There are little robotic horses that children can ride, though, so we bought her a ride on one.  She loved it!  She was scooting all over the place!

Liz wanted to buy something Chinese, so we went to the Gift World, and she bought a cheongsam!  I love cheongsams, they’re so pretty!  Sabby bought one for me too!  But she told me that’s all I’m getting.  I’m okay with that!  Liz joked that I was appropriating her culture, then she laughed and said she didn’t care.  She thinks I look good in one too!

Sabby did buy a small anime figure for David though, and some incense for Beth.  She thought they’d enjoy that.

So we came home, and Sabby called Allison’s parents to find out when they were coming to get her.  They needed one more day, so I guess we have company again tonight!  That’s alright, I like Allison!  I’m just keeping her away from mud!!!

It’s thundering outside now!  How fun!  A little scary, but fun!  I think Allison is a little scared, but I told her that if you hear the thunder, the lightning has already struck.  She seems happier now!  She’s watching the lightning!

See you tomorrow!  Love you all!!!  ❤️

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!  From Houston!

Oh wow that was so much fun!  We went to see the space museum, and the rocket farm, and, and, all that cool stuff!! Some of those rockets and engines are HUGE!  I think Beth was gonna faint!  We spent the whole day just getting the tour and looking at all the cool stuff, and then we ended up in the gift shop and they bought each of us a gift!  I got a Saturn 5 keychain!  Beth got a book about how rockets work!  David got something cool he likes, I forgot what!  And they even bought Allison something too!

After that we went to get dinner, and we had sushi!  Allison loves sushi!  I have no idea how so much sushi can go into that little stomach!  David just went “ewwww” and would only eat cooked stuff, and Beth poked at it for a bit until she tried it, and then was happy.  It turns out I know how to use chopsticks!  For dessert we had mochi.  It was delicious!

We’re back at the rooms now and we’re getting ready for bed.  We drive back in the morning.  What a fun trip!!!  It’s just what we needed!  Houston is cool!!  Well, it’s hot and humid, but cool just the same!!!

Allison and Beth and I all are going to brush each other’s hair, and David, well, he’s kinda bored, but I think he’s a bit sweet on Allison, so it all works out.  He’s got a book to read, so he’s not completely left out.  I guess that’s how it is being a boy with three girls.  I don’t think Allison returns his being sweet on her, but such is being young.  They’re both really little anyway.  She just wants to swim, but the pool is closed.  Maybe she can hop in the pool before we leave tomorrow.

Well, our hair isn’t going to brush itself, so off I go!

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

OH MY GOD can Sabby keep a secret!  Yesterday, after we got off school, someone arrived at the house!  Apparently, one of her friends from church has a sick family member and they needed to find someone to watch their kid, so Sabby offered to take her for a weekend.  Her name is Allison!  She is around 7 or 8, has brown hair, and is a lil shorty!

I don’t think David knows quite what to do with her. I’m not sure if he has a crush or hates her.  But he’s David, so all bets are off!

After she arrived, Sabby told us to pack for a trip!  We packed up, made sure the cat had plenty of food and water, and then hopped in the car, and drove to Houston!  We got two rooms at a reasonably nice hotel, one for the kids and one for the adults.  Me, being the oldest, was put in charge of the kids.  There was a bit of grumbling but they know I’m fair, so they accepted their lot in life without too much complaining.  Allison went straight for the pool!  I’ve never seen a girl move so fast!  I had to put my swimsuit on really fast and follow her, she can’t swim without supervision.  But she’s pretty good at it!  I just kind of lounged around in the pool and let her have fun.  David and Beth joined us shortly after, and there was much squealing and splashing to be had.  David wanted to play his computer games but Dave and Sabby made him leave his consoles at home.  Poor kid.  Not.  He’ll make do.

After that, we went to dinner.  We ate at a nice but not too fancy place, and everyone had something they enjoyed.  I had lasagna.  I love lasagna!  But it’s time consuming to make, so Sabby doesn’t make it often.  I got to know Allison a little bit.  Apparently she likes to play in mud!  I need to be careful around that one, that’s not far away from throwing mud.  Oh well, better not give her ideas.  She also likes to read graphic novels.  I told her about manga.  There’s so much manga!!!

We got a cot for the room so Allison could have her own bed, we thought having her sleep in the same bed as David would be a terrible idea, the kid is a hellian.  The cots are super comfy though!  Beth and I shared a bed, David got his own, and Allison got her cot.  Everyone was pretty happy with the arrangement, though I woke up in the middle of the night and found Beth sprawled all over me, out like a light.  It was cute, but I hadda go to the bathroom!!!

So this morning, we ate breakfast, and we’re about to head to the Space Museum!  Oh, that sounds like so much fun!  I hope everyone likes it!  That’s one small step for a girl, one giant leap for girlkind!  I’m glad I got to meet Allison, she seems like a sweet kid!

I’ll tell you how it all goes after we get back.  Love you all!!!  ❤️