Category: Diary

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

It’s been another busy busy busy day.  I looked up how to say “busy” in Japanese.  Isogashii.  I’ve been so isogashii it’s not even funny!  Our teacher has been teaching us so many things, it’s like I’ve already spent several weeks in regular class.  So much math and science and history and other things as well.  Beth seems so happy!  David, well, not so much.  He got used to slacking off a bit, and now Sabby’s riding his rear.  He can’t even sneak in a computer game, Sabby’s right on top of it.  It’s good for him!  But don’t tell him I said that.  I’m still not exactly his favorite person in the world.

He’s nine, though.  I’m not offended.  If he still hates me when he’s twenty, then we’ll have words.

Liz and I are missing each other because she’s still going to regular school, but she understands that it’s just how things are.  We’ll spend lots of time together this weekend!  We will!  I haven’t shown Liz my car yet.  She’ll be so jealous!  But I’m sure she’ll get a car of her own as well.  Her parents may be strict, but they’re not mean.  Who knows, she might get a nicer one than me!

I mean, mine is nice, but it’s not new and it’s not luxury.  I know you’re reading this, Sabby.  I love it!  I’m not complaining!  But these things are still true.  It’s not new, and it’s not luxury.  Liz’s parents have plenty of space to one-up us.  Sabby’s not one to “keep up with the Tangs” though, so Liz will like whatever car she gets, and I already love mine.

Dave promised to take me out to practice driving this weekend, and I’m inviting Liz along too – Dave is okay with this.  But, he says, on Friday we have to go to the liquor store and stock up.  Like I said, he never drinks, but I guess after putting two inexperienced teenage girls in the driver’s seat, he’s willing to take one for the team.  He’s also going to show us how to do basic car maintenance.  Change a tire, change the oil, the appropriate hand gestures for when we’re cut off… KIDDING!  But where I live, people drive completely insanely, so…

I told Liz to be ready to get dirty.  So maybe she’ll wear one of her old Prada skirts and one of her ratty cashmere sweaters.  Haha!  Kidding, Liz!  Sweatpants are the order of the day for that, I think.

I have to think about what kind of job I want to look for.  Dave tells me that now is a really good time to look for a job, because no one wants to work.  How does that work??  But maybe this weekend I’ll apply for a part time job.  Of course, school takes priority, but I need to pay for insurance and driving lessons!  When did I become so… normal??

Normally I’d apply for fast food, but I think since jobs are so plentiful right now I’ll try to find something a little more interesting.  We’ll see how that works!  Maybe I’ll work in a bakery, like dog-girl!

I learned another Japanese word too!  Sayonara!

Love you all!!!

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!  BUSY Lily!

So now that school’s started, I’m just going every which way.  The teacher Sabby hired isn’t letting us slack on everything, and she’s teaching us stuff much faster than she would teach a public school student.  I’ve got sooooo much homework!  But is it homework if I’m being taught at home anyway?  Or is it just work?  Sabby isn’t the best at math, but that turns out to be something Dave is really good at.  But why would that surprise me?  He’s a structural engineer!  He’d better be good at math!

So we’re studying math and science and all sorts of other stuff, and it’s hard work, but fun.

After dinner, Dave is going to go take me to practice driving some more.  He also tells me I need to get a job soon, but he’s going to make sure I know how to drive first.  It’s a long process, but better start now, he says.  I’m okay with that.  Driving is fun.  Or at least looks fun.  It also looks hard!

I still need to find some time to learn how to stream and make YouTube videos.  Maybe my teacher knows someone who can help!

Well, gotta go.  Short entry today, but there’s so much to do!  Sabby just said dinner is ready and I’m starving!  Well, not really, but… okay.   Gotta go!

Love you all!!!

Hi!  It’s me!  Lilly!  Silly billy Lily!

OMG what a busy day!  I didn’t even get a chance to write here until this evening!  I woke up and went for my run, and then Sabby told me that school was going to start promptly at 8, and chop chop!  So I took a shower and got on zoom, and got to know our teacher!  She is going to teach us so much!  She told us to forget about all of the stuff that school was teaching, it was useless anyway, here’s some math lessons!  She made it fun!!!  We’re going to also use one of those online sites that teaches visually, and, well, I’m going to learn so much this year!!!

She’s a little strict, but at least I’m getting individual attention!!!

So at lunchtime Sabby ordered pizza!  She said we deserved a pizza!  I don’t know why, but I love pizza!  It’s so oooey and gooey and delicious and… and greasy.  Eww.  But it’s good as a treat!  I like hawaiian pizza, but everyone else hates it.  She still bought me one!  I love Sabby!

So in the afternoon, I found out that Sabby hired me a Japanese teacher!  Oh wow!  I can’t wait, this will be fun!  We’ll chat once a week and she’ll give me homework!

It’s time for dinner now.  Since we had something heavy for lunch, it’s a light dinner.  That’s okay, I’m still so excited!  We’ll eat dinner, and then I’ll do homework, and then Beth and I will brush each others’ hair, and… and…  squeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

Love you all!!!

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!  Vroom vroom!

Well, it was a day, I guess.  I went to church with my family, and the pastor actually announced that I’d been officially adopted!  It was a bit embarrassing because I was rocking out on my headphones and didn’t even hear him.  Finally sabby jabbed me in my side, and I jumped and squealed.  My headphones fell off and everyone was chuckling.  The pastor just said something like “I guess the spirit’s moving today,” and everyone started laughing.  Except me.  I was beet red.

But lots of people I didn’t even know congratulated me, so that’s nice.  I don’t really get church, honestly, but it’s nice that they at least try to be friendly and supportive.  So many hugs and handshakes, so much hand sanitizer…

You’d think they’d be a bit more careful, but they just seem to have the attitude of “if I go, I go”, and I guess it could be worse.  I’m not sure I’d ever want to entirely give up hugs, though we came pretty close when I was found.

After I got home I spent some time with Liz.  She seemed a bit more pensive than usual, and I asked her what was wrong.   You know, Liz isn’t all that expressive, right?  So it kinda shocked me when she jumped at me, glomped me, and started crying.  I was about as confused as Dave usually is, so I just hugged her and asked her what was wrong.

Well, this is a public diary, so I’m not going to tell, so nyah.

But we talked for a long time, and I forgot how nice it was, just spending time with her.  With all the stuff going on I’d forgotten.  She really is a sweet soul.  A bit hurt by life, but a sweet soul.  And I love her.

She wanted me to stay for dinner, so I checked with Dave and Sabby… no, my parents…  omg!  And they said it was alright.  Liz’s parents are distant, but nice.  They are very big on what’s proper, and don’t really like it when people deviate from that.  So we don’t talk much at the table.  I did learn to use chopsticks, though, so that’s nice.  After dinner, Liz and I went up to her room and we brushed each others’ hair and talked for a while.  It was nice.

But Liz starts school again tomorrow (and so do I, but differently) so I went home relatively early.  I guess today we’ll find out how school’s going to work.  It might be interesting.

Love you all!!! 

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

Umm…  I’ve never been at a loss for words before.  I’ve been happy, I’ve been bubbly, I’ve been excited, I’ve been…  everything.  But never speechless.

It started as a normal day.  I was going to spend some time with Liz and maybe Beth, play on the computer, maybe go to a museum.  I didn’t have any concrete plans.  Around noon, Dave yelled at me to come down, there was something going on in the driveway and they needed my help.

I was confused – what could possibly be going on in the driveway that needed my help?  Did Dave have a pressure-washing accident?  I wouldn’t put it past him, that clumsy silly billy.

So I went downstairs and opened the front door and there was a car in the driveway!  And it had a bow on it!

I walked out, trying to figure out what was going on, and Sabby yelled “Surprise!” and handed some keys to me.

“What?,” I asked, eruditely.

“It’s yours!,” she said, beaming.  “For when you get your license, of course.  But -“

She didn’t get to finish.  I power-glomped her.  I think I got a running start.  I even backed up a bit.  I ran at her, wrapped my arms and legs around her, and started bawling.  She laughed and told me to get down, her back couldn’t take it.

I then glomped Dave as well, and he patted me on the back.  He seems confused sometimes when I glomp him and start crying, but that’s life with a girl, you big ol’ loveable silly billy you!

They told me I’d have to get a job to pay for upkeep and gas, etc., they would help me out with some of the initial costs but I had to do the oil changes and stuff.  I didn’t care, I was sooo happy.  It’s not that they got me a car, it’s that they got me a car!!!  Dave even said he’d teach me how to change the oil!!!  I’m not really the most mechanical person, but it sounds fun!!!  Lots of things to learn!!!

It’s not anything fancy.  It’s one of those reliable older cars without many frills, but it is nice and has all of the necessities – AC (we need that here!), power windows, even a sunroof!  Sabby made me promise never to stand up and stick my head through.

I can’t drive it yet.  I have to get all my papers and then get a license and stuffs.  But I have a car!  I can’t believe it!

Dave and Sabby are the best!  And not because they buy me things!  Because they want to buy me things!

Beth made me promise to take her places.  I told her I would, but not every time she asked.  She seemed happy with that.  She wants to go to the big library downtown and she doesn’t get many chances to.

I’m going to take a shower, then sit behind the wheel and pretend to drive!  Vrooom vrooom!  Then we have to go to church, but I’m going to spend the afternoon with Liz.  Liz time is important, and more so now than ever.

Love you all!!!  You virtual silly billies you!!! . I’m gonna hug you and love you and squeeze you until the end of time! (I’ve been reading Beth’s book so I know when that is now!)

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

You’d think after the great events of Thursday that I would be happy, but I’m not, not really.  I mean, I am so happy that I was officially adopted and everything, but…  yesterday was hard.

I went over to Liz’s house, and it was awkward.  We just talked.  We talked a lot.  She told me she has no siblings and started to think of me as her sister too, like Beth does.  When Beth came along, she felt pushed to the side.

And I had no defense for that, because it was true.

But Beth is my sister now, in every sense of the word, and I told Liz that I love her just as much as Beth, but if she wants to be my best friend, we have to make room for Beth.  Liz wasn’t too happy with this, but she understood.  She thought she had one sister, but she has to deal with two now.  We’re still friends, best friends even, but I think she’s going to have to take a little time to get used to the situation now.  It makes me sad, though.  I love Liz.

I think we’ll pull through, though.  I pointed out to Liz that I think Beth is smarter than I am, and Liz looked thoughtful.  Liz is a wonderful person and I love her, but she is wicked smart – her parents are always making her go to classes to learn how to do this or that, or get extra tutoring in this or that, and she’s way more brilliant than I could ever be.  Beth might give her a run for her money, so I pointed out that they would probably get along, and Beth needs people who are more her type intellectually.  Liz didn’t seem too enthusiastic, but she accepted that it may be true, and she’s going to give Beth a chance.

And I promised her that I would never push her aside.  She seemed unsure, but she took my word for it.

I guess that’s all we can hope for.

I invited Liz back to our house for dinner, and she accepted.  Sabby was nice and made one of her favorite (non-Chinese) dishes – Beef Stroganoff.  It was a little awkward, but eventually Beth started chattering about some science experiment she’d read about, and Liz just… took off.  It was a sight to behold!  Words I’d never heard before and probably couldn’t repeat, and Beth was keeping right up!

I think it’ll be okay.

Afterwards we all watched a movie for our movie night.  Beth wanted to see “Contact”, and Liz said it was one of her favorite movies.  I loved it!  It was so…  so…  hopeful.  Baby steps, Ellie.  Baby steps.  Afterwards, Beth and I invited Liz up for our hairbrushing ritual and Liz seemed to enjoy herself.  She has no siblings and her parents aren’t very demonstrative, so I think she enjoys a little physical contact, and her hair is so thick and beautiful.  Liz went home, but not before telling Beth that she forgives her.  They hugged and I wiped tears away.  Dang onions!

It’s still a bit awkward but I think we’ll get through it.

People are hard sometimes.

Love you all!!!

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

I’m sorry Liz!!!  I’m so sorry!!!

I remember when I first met Liz.  We were in an online school, and I can’t remember why, but we started to chat over DM.  I think she had a question.  But we started talking, and found out we lived just a few doors from each other, and I went to visit.  Her parents, were nice, but strict.  When the lockdowns were lifted, we started going places together, and I found out I really liked her!  You see, I didn’t have any family!  I mean, I had Sabby and Dave, but I didn’t trust them yet, and Beth and David hated me!  She was always there for me!

But lately, as my relationship with my family improved, I didn’t spend as much time with Liz, and now I think she feels left out.  OMG, I’m sooooo sorry!  I really didn’t mean it, Liz!  I really didn’t!  I love you, you know that!!!!!  You’re my family too!  You’ll always be my family!!!

I remember all the fun stuff we’ve done together, and…  this hurts.  This really hurts.  I’m sorry!!!  We’re going to spend some time together today before school starts, just me and her, and…  and I’m sooo sorry.  I really am.

I need to take a shower go I can go over to Liz’s and apologize in person.  Over and over again.

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily Smith!!!

OMG THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!!!

So yesterday i was just having an ordinary boringly boring day, when we had some visitors to the house.  It was our lawyer, and he had someone else with him!  It was a judge!

They sat us all down in the living room and told me that she would sign the adoption papers today, like RIGHT NOW, but she had a few questions to ask first.

She asked Sabby if she was willing to be my adopted mother.  She couldn’t answer through the tears but choked out a “yes”.

She asked Dave, and he just softly said, “She’s already like our second daughter.  Of course.”

Beth simply said “She’s already my sister.”

David, of course, shrugged.  That was good enough.  He’s nine anyway.

Then the judge, finally, asked me what I wanted.

The tears were rolling down my face, and all I said was “If I ever get my memories back, I’d want Dave and Sabby to be my real parents too.”  At that point Sabby just lost it and glomped me.  The judge looked a bit amused, but her eyes were wet as well.  Even our lawyer seemed misty-eyed.

And then the judge signed the papers, and it was done.  She explained that for people like me that don’t have a recorded birthday (usually those are third world people but I guess I’m an exception) my birthday will be Jan. 1.  I asked her if it could be July 25, but she said that her powers were limited and that’s all she could do.  But that makes me sixteen!  I can get a job and learn to drive and all those things sixteen year olds can do!!!  I’m so happy!!!!!!

After all was concluded, the judged asked if she could give me a hug, and I happily agreed.  She told me I could go to the courthouse and get all the documents by the end of the week.  She wished me a good life and left.

I glomped Sabby.  I was crying.  “What – how -“, I asked through the tears.

She hugged me back.  “I have no idea.  I think they wanted to get it out of the way before the school year started.  You’re not going back there, and neither are Beth or David.”

David cheered.  “No school!!!”

Sabby looked at him reprovingly.  “Not so fast.  I hired a teacher for you three.  She teaches a few other students as well.  You’re getting an education, and you won’t be able to get away with stuff like you would at your regular school.”

“Aw man,” he said, dejectedly, and sulked back up to his room.  Sabby chuckled.

Beth looked pensive.  “What about my friends?”

“What about them?  If they’re your friends, you’ll figure it out.  If they’re not, we’ll find you new ones.”

I piped up, “You said your friends were doing things you didn’t want to do anyway!”

Sabby’s face turned thunderous.  “Explain.  Now,” she said to Beth.  Beth gave me the evil eye, but did as she was told.  She told Sabby about how her friends would just sit at the convenience store and talk about boys, and how she wanted to talk about more interesting stuff, and her friends didn’t care.

Sabby’s expression became more neutral as she realized it wasn’t as bad as she thought.  “I see.  We’ll talk about this later.  I really do wish you would have told me this earlier.”

Beth side-glanced at me.  I think I messed up.

“But today we’re going to celebrate Lily’s official adoption.  Clean up.  We’re going to lunch.”

Beth still didn’t look happy, but she did like to eat.  We went to a steakhouse.  It was delicious.  Everyone was happy, but Beth was a little cold.  I don’t think I blamed her.

Later that evening, I knocked on Beth’s door.  She was quiet but said “come in” anyway.  I opened it hesitantly.

“I’m sorry -” I said.

She sighed.  “Don’t be.  I wish you hadn’t told my secret.  I’m still just a bit mad about that.  But you were right.  I always feel like I’m wasting my time when I’m with them.”

“Maybe you need new friends.”

“Maybe I do,” she said.  “Or maybe I need to talk to them first and tell them I want to do more interesting things sometimes.  Mom talked to me privately about peer pressure.  She’s right.  It’s not good for me.”

I sat on the bed next to her and reached for the hairbrush.  She automatically turned her back to me and removed her hairpins.  I started brushing her hair.

“I’m still sorry,” I said.  “I shouldn’t have blurted that out.”

Her eyes were already closed.  “It’s alright,” she mumbled, her eyes already starting to droop.  “I forgive.. you…” she was already starting to zone out.  I made it an extra good brushing, and even added in a bit of a scalp massage.  I really didn’t mean it.

So I’m officially officially a Smith now!  And Beth is my sister!  And even when we’re mad at each other we’ll still be sisters!  I love Beth!!!  I love Sabby!!! I love everyone!!!!!!

And I love you all!!!!

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

We went to the grocery store again today!  No Karens this time!  We saw the manager and he told us that Karen was officially banned from every one of their stores in the area!  She really got herself into trouble!

And after Dave had a big surprise for me!  He took me out to a deserted parking lot and let me drive!  I’ve never driven before!  It was scary and fun all at the same time!  He was very patient with me, even when I went a little too fast.

You know, I’ve never ridden a bicycle before!  I just realized that today!  I asked Dave if I can learn to ride one!  He said yes!  They have an old one in the garage that Sabby never rides, so they’re going to let me use it.  I can’t wait!  Even though I’m scared of falling off.  I guess my first lesson will be in the grass!  With long clothing!  And kneepads!

So anyway Dave let me drive, and it was really scary, but I think it was more scary for him.  He tells me I’m a responsible girl, and he was still clutching the seat like he was going to die at any minute!  He tells me there are some cars with three pedals!  Three!  How do you drive one of those?  He said if he can find one, he’ll teach me.  His voice was shaking a bit when he said that.  Haha!  Dave’s a silly billy!  Well… maybe not.  I guess me behind the wheel of a two ton hunk of steel deserves a little fear.  But he’s still a silly billy!!!

When we got home, Dave got a beer.  He never drinks.  Poor Dave.  But he did offer.  And I did alright.  No damage to us or the car, I didn’t hit anything or anyone, and it could have been much worse, especially for my first time.

Well, not much to say today.  The cat’s washing its butt again!  ewww!

Love you all!!! 

Hi!  It’s me! Lilly!

Well, I’m not as embarrassed anymore, I guess.  Yeah, some boys saw my floppy bits.  Oh well.  Nothing to be done about it now.  I guess these things just happen.  I’m more upset about the bird dying, but nothing to be done about that either.

Yes, I know the real names!  But this is a family friendly blog!  So I’m not going to call them what they’re supposed to be called, they’re floppy bits and girly bits, so there!  I promised Sabby!  But some things aren’t easy to talk about without using some kind of name, I guess!!

I was wrong!  School starts next week!!!  Oh no!!!  Sabby still hasn’t decided what to do, and she tells me the social workers are being a little stubborn about my going to school.  Sabby may have to let me go, at least until she can officially adopt me.  The interference seems to be happening again – I don’t understand it.  Sabby told me that the social workers were telling her that we’d have to do all sorts of stuff to adopt me – petition the court, file all sorts of papers, give Beth up as a sacrifice – kidding! But it looked so insurmountable, and then something happened again and they said someone really high up intervened.  So we’ll still have to see a judge, but I just have to agree to it, and all of the social workers, etc., have been ordered to not fight it.  Who ordered them?  They won’t tell us.  We don’t know.  But someone is really looking out for me.

At least I hope they’re looking out for me.

But I can’t wait to be an officially official Smith!!!  A real Smith!!!  Dave and Sabby’s daughter!!!  Oh, I love the sound of that!  I love Dave, that big ol’ balding silly billy, and Sabby, that not so big ol’ motherly silly billy, and Beth, my new silly billy sister, and even David!  And the cat!  I love the cat too!  Even though it always washes its butt!  Ewwww!  It’s a silly billy too!  But a cuddly one.

They say it could only be a month or so.  We just have to get on the docket.  It’s amazing how helpful social workers can be when they’re ordered to.

Oh, don’t get me wrong.  Mine have been awesome!  Or at least as awesome as government workers in a government bereaucracy can be.  But apparently someone greasing the wheels a bit makes them even more awesome!

Our lawyer is also trying to figure out what to do about my lack of birthday.  He’s going to petition the court to assign me one when the adoption goes through.  I’m going to ask for Lily Day.  Would that make me sixteen?  Or seventeen?  I guess we’ll decide then.  Maybe we’ll ask my doctor what he thinks.  As they keep telling me, this is truly unprecedented.  They can’t think of anyone else in the first world who doesn’t know when they were born, and neither does anyone else.

Well, nothing interesting going on, I just got back from a run and didn’t find a dying bird so yay?  I did see a jackrabbit, though.  They’re cute.  Furry little silly billy rabbits, hopping around doing rabbit things.  And squirrels!  I see lots of squirrels!  They’re cute little silly billy nut hoarders.  I saw little animals, I kept my top on, I had a run, and now I’m going to shower!  It’s a good day!

Love you all!!!